Chit Chat

S/O What's your household division of labor?

The "vent about your SO" thread got me wondering what arrangements you have for division of labor, if you live together. Who does what? Has this been discussed, or did you just fall into a routine?

Here are some common chores, and how we have them divided. The major divisions that had discussions about were cooking/dishes, and vacuuming&mopping/cleaning bathroom. The rest just kind of fell into place. I'm generally happy with the division, but I find that H needs to be given explicitly certain tasks or else I end up doing them by default, and that makes me grumpy.

Cooking: mostly me, H cooks about once a week
Dishes: whoever doesn't cook, which means H does them most of the time
Laundry: we each do our own clothes. I end up doing the sheets & towels because it's not on his radar screen (we'd go for months with the same sheets if I didn't intervene!)
Vacuuming: me
Dusting: me
Mopping floors: me
Clean bathroom: H
Clean kitchen: Both of us. H always does a quick wipe-down after doing the dishes daily. I usually do a more thorough job once a week or so, including cleaning the fridge
Clean kitty litter box: me
Taking out trash/recycling: H
General tidying/decluttering: Both of us. We have decluttering pow-wows once a week or so when we just agree to spend 30 min or so tossing things out or putting things away.
Yard work: N/A because we live in a city apartment, but both of us don't like doing this so I think it will be a sticky point in the future...

Re: S/O What's your household division of labor?

  • This is interesting!

    Cooking: Divided.. I wouldn't say one does it more than the other. Oftentimes we both help out.
    Dishes: H is currently doing these more than I am because he's home more often.
    Laundry: We each do our own... He doesn't know which of my clothes need to hang dry, so since he can't do my clothes I'd be doing both of ours all the time
    Vacuuming: Split
    Dusting: We're both bad at this...
    Mopping floors: Split
    Clean bathroom: Split (I would argue that I do it more :))
    Clean kitchen: Split
    Clean kitty litter box: Split
    Taking out trash/recycling: H definitely does this more than I do, but I'll take it out if I need to.
    General tidying/decluttering: Split
    Yard work: N/A due to apartment life but H has claimed that he "can't wait" to have a house with a yard to mow, etc. I told him to be careful what he wishes for...
  • I pretty much do everything except clean the bathroom.  I don't do bathrooms.  Loose hair and toothpaste spit make me want to vomit.

    We also have a pup and we do take turns walking her around the neighborhood, but I am the one that feeds her 99% of the time and also the one to administer any medicine if she gets sick.

  • loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    This could be interesting:

    Cooking: Mostly H - I'm a useless cook. But if we need baking I'm your gal.
    Dishes: Dishwasher. Usually whoever doesn't cook puts the dishes in the dishwasher.
    Laundry: Whoever runs out of clean clothes first... which is usually me and then I ask H if he needs anything done.
    Vacuuming: H
    Dusting: H
    Mopping floors: H
    Clean bathroom: Me because I'm anal about my bathroom.
    Clean kitchen: Mostly H, but if I'm cooking I clean up after myself.
    Clean kitty litter box: H - he's paranoid that I'm always pregnant and toxoplasmosis.
    Taking out trash/recycling: Me.
    General tidying/decluttering: Both of us. 
    Yard work: H. Last time I cut the grass I got grass all up in the shed and it annoyed him.

    Reading my answers I feel like I need to step up my game in the sharing the responsibilities department. 
  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2015
    Cooking: Me. I enjoy cooking and it's a way to de-stress once I get home from work. DH helps me prepare and stands with me while I cook. He usually cooks about once a week though.
    Dishes: We have an agreement that whoever doesn't cook does the dishes, so DH. However, he is really busy this time of year at work so I have been doing them more lately.
    Laundry: Me.
    Vacuuming: Me. DH vacuums the kitchen every other day when he gets home from work though to get up dog hair.
    Dusting: Me.
    Mopping floors: Both. If DH is home, I get him to mop because since he is stronger, I feel like he does it better.
    Clean bathroom: Usually me. If DH is home, he does the toilet.
    Clean kitchen: Both. DH spot cleans throughout the week after dishes and I spot clean as I cook. I clean more thoroughly on the weekend.
    Clean kitty litter box: DH
    Taking out trash/recycling: DH
    General tidying/decluttering: Both but mostly me.
    Yard work: DH. He is in charge of mowing, weedeating, trimming the bushes, killing weeds, moving gravel, spitting wood, etc. 
    ETA: Dogs: I take them out in the morning. DH takes them out when he gets home and then feeds them. then we both take them out before bed.

    We kind of fell into our division of labor. I like to clean on Saturdays. DH works every other Saturday. I like a clean house, DH doesn't care so much. I handle the inside stuff (along with DH helping sometimes) and he handles the outside stuff.

  • We have a pretty fair division of labor, and it sort of just happened that way. There was never any real discussion about it - we just both started taking care of the tasks that we are best at and the rest fell into place. 

    Cooking: about 50/50. Some weeks I cook more, some weeks he cooks more. 
    Dishes: also about 50/50
    Laundry: all me. I absolutely love doing laundry and refuse to let H do it (which he is totally fine with)
    Vacuuming: me
    Dusting: More H than me. I tend to slack on the dusting but he'll go on a tear every month or so and dust.
    Mopping floors: me
    Clean bathroom: I clean the full bath downstairs and he takes care of his half bath upstairs.
    Clean kitchen: Both of us. Whomever is doing the dishes will usually also wipe down the counters, stove, microwave, etc. He usually ends up cleaning out the fridge and I'll wipe down cabinets. 
    Clean kitty litter box: replace litter box with taking care of the dog - that's more H than me. He walks the pup every morning and most evenings. We alternate weekend mornings so that each of us gets one day of the two to sleep in. 
    Taking out trash/recycling: That would be all H. 
    General tidying/decluttering: Both of us. H has been getting home earlier than me lately so he'll straighten up the house before I get home. I do a full clean of the house on Saturdays. 
    Yard work: All H. The yard is his pride and joy.
  • I will say he does the lion's share.  I think in part it is because when we were dating we both had houses but eventually we spent more and more time at his house and while I might help with chores some it was "his" house and he did the chores since I had my own house to also take care of. Once we moved in together and got married it sort of stayed that way.

    Also doesn't help that he is anal about how things are done. Dishwasher has to be loaded a certain way even though it doesn't impact how things are cleaned, his laundry has to be a certain way and folded a certain way so if you're only going to have it done Your way then YOU will have to do it.

    Cooking: We split. He will do more of the cooking since he is home earlier, but I have to meal plan and then usually help with sides or whatever.

    Dishes: He washes, I dry if hand washing. Dishwasher just depends on who is there and willing to unload though we usually do it together

    Bathrooms/vacumming/etc: whoever gets tired of it haha. He is home on Fridays and usually does some chores because he gets an itch to do it and is home anyway. I'm not home as much as he is but I'd be happy to do these together on the weekend it just doesn't happen

    Laundry: we each do our own since he is anal about it and can't fathom washing something on Quick cycle and I refuse to do the 60 min version

    Dog: mostly him, because it is "his" dog and so he takes responsibility. I will let out, feed, etc but he does most of it especially in the morning

    Yard work: all him, he likes it

  • edited August 2015
    Oh I like this a lot!

    Cooking: Me!! I love to cook.
    Dishes: FI does the dishes if they are from me cooking. If they are just random dishes we kinda take turns.
    Laundry: We do our own clothes. FI doesn't believe in sorting or using dryer sheets, therefore he is not allowed to wash my clothes :)
    Vacuuming: Usually FI does the vacuuming because I love to mop and he hates mopping.
    Dusting: Me
    Mopping floors: Me
    Clean bathroom: We have 2 bathrooms, so we each take one
    Clean kitchen: Me
    Clean kitty litter box: N/A. We have 2 65 lb dogs :)
    Taking out trash/recycling: Him
    General tidying/decluttering: Both of us
    Yard work: We actually hire someone to mow the lawn. FI absolutely loathes mowing and there is no way I could do it. Our back yard is very steep.

    ETA: we did talk about how we would divide things. Talking about stuff like that was a little "assignment" so to speak in our premarital counseling. So far it works well for us!

  • l9il9i member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    We've never formally split chores.  It has also fluctuated.  I was working more until recently so DH picked up the slack.  Now his job has increased in demand and I'm home earlier in the evening so I'm picking up the slack.  I enjoy the give and take and no one gets fussy when they do something they don't normally take care of.

    Cooking: Divided.. It was pretty much DH before.  I can cook, but he's far better than me.  With him being home later recently we've experimented with freezer meals and I've been handling that... does that mean I'm the cook? ;)

    Dishes: I'm good with unloading and loading the dishwasher.  Hand washed items are typically done by DH.  Gross dishes are my no-no.
    Laundry: Me.  Since I'm picky about how things get folded DH would get upset when I'd redo it, so we just skip a step and I do it.  I don't mind laundry.
    Vacuuming: Split.  We have mostly hardwood so for carpet it's a pretty quick process.  For the hardwood we have a braava.  She pulls her weight.
    Dusting: We're both bad at this.
    Mopping floors: Split.  Again, the braava helps.
    Clean bathroom: Split.  I do the counters/sink and floors and DH does the toilets and shower/tub.
    Clean kitchen: Split
    Taking out trash/recycling: Mostly DH but if it needs taken out I do it too.
    General tidying/decluttering: Split, but mostly me.
    Yard work: DH for sure!  I do things like help with weeding, but the outside stuff is his forte. 
  • This is interesting. We've had a pretty 50/50 split that has worked since we moved in together, but I started back to school last year (while still working full time), so DH picked up more of the chores. Now he started back to school this semester, so we're trying to figure out how in the hell we're going to keep the house clean. I'm trying a cleaning service tomorrow, so that might be the solution while we're both in school and working.

    Cooking: we take turns. We're doing Hello Fresh for 3 meals per week, so it's not too intimidating for novice cook DH. 
    Dishes: DH unloads the dishwasher, I load it and run it. He usually does anything that needs to be hand washed
    Laundry: Me, but he puts his own stuff away
    Vacuuming: He does upstairs, I do downstairs. We do it at the same time and call it dueling vacuums because we're dorks. 
    Dusting: me 
    Mopping floors: cleaning people. We rarely mop.
    Clean bathroom: Split. DH does toilets and shower, I do surfaces and mirrors. Hopefully we can push all of this onto the cleaners.
    Clean kitchen: Usually me, but DH wipes down after he cooks. 
    Clean kitty litter box: Usually DH. 
    Taking out trash/recycling: DH
    General tidying/decluttering: Mostly me. Occasionally I'd give DH a pile of stuff and have him sort it, but bills are our biggest clutter, and I handle bills.
    Yard work: Our HOA does the necessity stuff. I put out flowers in the spring and fall and do a few maintenance things.
  • I do most (all) the cooking and he does all the dishes. He does the floors, takes out the garbage and I do all the other cleaning. We do our own laundry. He's responsible for all dog needs unless he's not home. 
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  • We divide things more by time than number of chores. It is pretty equal, for the most part. Usually when one of us is doing a chore, the other does something too.

    Cooking: Me because I love to cook. He will sometimes help prep, and will always help if I need something.

    Dishes: Both, but mostly H. He hand washes, I use the dishwasher because I loathe hand washing. We are trying to keep our electric and water bill down in the new house, so he hand washes everything most of the time. I put away the clean dishes because he hand washed them.

    Sweeping/mopping/Vacuuming: Both, usually me because I do it while he is washing dishes.

    Dusting: Me, but he is doing some other chore while I do it.

    Kitchen: Both of us.

    Declutter: Both of us.

    Garbage/Recycling: Both of us. We tend to alternate weeks.

    Bathroom: Me, since I do it while he is washing dishes.

    Laundry: Both. Just whoever gets to it first will start it, whoever remembers we were doing laundry first moves it to the dryer, and we both put our own clothes away. We both remake the bed together when we wash sheets.

    Cat stuff: Me because she was my cat originally, but he helps when I am busy or not home without me having to ask.

    Yard work: Both equally. We do it together every time. One uses the push mower around the house and obstacles in the yard while the other person uses the riding mower for the rest of our giant yard. Whoever push mows gets out the weed wacker/blower when they finish because push mowing is quicker than riding. We alternate push mowing and riding.

    We kind of fell into our division of labor. We wanted things to be fair, so we started doing chores together. If one of us was doing a chore, the other person did something at the same time. Then we could spend time together when we were done.

    Before we moved in together, we listened to our friends complain about how the husbands never do anything to help around the house and have to be nagged at constantly to pitch in. The husbands are fine with doing as little as they can get away with and don't see an issue because they take care of one chore, like taking out the garbage. We knew we didn't want that to be us, so we both make sure we are contributing equally. Due to that, we have NEVER fought about house work/chores.
  • I was actually just talking about this last night with some friends. When H and I first lived together, he didn't know what all went into all the chores. He thought that cleaning the kitchen was wiping down counter tops. That's it. He never once thought to clean the stove, the front of the oven, fridge or dishwasher, the sink, etc. So after a while of us both getting frustrated with each other, we made a very specific chore chart. I didn't like it and it made me feel like I was momming him but he liked it because it showed him exactly what he needed to do and also showed him all the things I was doing that he hadn't noticed. 
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  • We didn't discuss it much, it just sort of naturally happened when I moved in.

    Unfortunately the natural thing was me doing almost all of it lol. DH works almost 12 hour days 6 days a week, so while I work full time too I am home more than him. I also like it cleaned more frequently then he ever did living alone.

    I cook (really the only option here, he doesn't really know how), grocery shop, clean, empty dishwasher, most laundry.

    He takes the trash out, and will gladly vacuum or empty the dishwasher if I ask him too. He is good about asking if there is anything he can do. Oh he does clean up the dishes and clears the kitchen after dinner. If I don't get to his laundry, it's not a big deal he does it, but I usually end up folding it. We split taking the dog out. In the summer when I'm off (teacher), I do 100% of the household stuff.

    It's not "even" but it works for us. I'm lucky that he is neat person, he doesn't leave things laying around or dishes out and stuff.
  • I do most everything. When he's home, my husband takes out trash and recycling and occasionally does dishes and cleans up the kitchen, vacuums, or cooks (if it's tacos or steak night, that's his night). We use a lawn service for the yard. If he is able to quit his current job in exchange for one where he is home, I have told him he is going to need to help out more, but for now, since he usually isn't home for extended time, there isn't a whole lot for him to do anyway.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • I was actually just talking about this last night with some friends. When H and I first lived together, he didn't know what all went into all the chores. He thought that cleaning the kitchen was wiping down counter tops. That's it. He never once thought to clean the stove, the front of the oven, fridge or dishwasher, the sink, etc. So after a while of us both getting frustrated with each other, we made a very specific chore chart. I didn't like it and it made me feel like I was momming him but he liked it because it showed him exactly what he needed to do and also showed him all the things I was doing that he hadn't noticed. 
    This is exactly the case with us. I have had to learn that I'm not "nagging" H when I give him very specific tasks. He's willing (if not eager!) to help out around the house. It's just that he usually needs explicit instructions. He cleans the bathroom off of a list of what is involved, which took some training - we had to add things like "wipe off shelf above toilet", "remove hair from drain", and "remove floor items and clean around them". He's so cute and always calls me in after he's done to "inspect" and make sure he hasn't missed anything. Like a little kid who did his chores and now gets to go outside and play or watch TV!
  • For the most part, we divide everything. The 2 major ones are cooking: exclusively me, and laundry: exclusively him. I mostly do the dishes, and he mostly takes out all the trash. He scoops the litter box more than me, but I feed the cats more than he does. Then everything else, we mostly split.


  • Cooking: A mix. Maybe only once a week only one of us cooks. Usually we split the work, him usually doing the meat, with me doing the sides.
    Dishes: Me. He lived many years without a dishwasher and now hates doing dishes. He'd put everything in the dishwasher, which I don't like for some things. So I wash everything.
    Laundry: BF. I hate doing laundry and he is excited about having a washer/dryer in the apartment, so he does it. I will hold fold and put things away though.
    Vacuuming: BF.
    Dusting: Me, kinda. It hasn't been done much.
    Mopping floors: Me, but the only floors that aren't carpet are in the kitchen and bathrooms.
    Clean bathroom: Me.
    Clean kitchen: Me.
    Clean kitty litter box: Him. He also feeds the cats too.
    Dog Stuff: Feeding the dog is a mix between the two. Dog poo is done by who ever is walking her. So in the mornings it is me. After work, usually him since he gets home before me. Before bed, me.
    Taking out trash/recycling: Usually him.
    General tidying/decluttering: Mix
    Yard work: N/A because we live in an apartment
  • We struggled with this at first- a lot of times we would alternate, but if he didn't do dishes one night and the next night was my night, I was doing 2 days worth the dishes, etc. So finally after years of arguing we came up with the idea to split it by room:

    Living room, dining room, bedroom, entry way- DH is responsible for these.

    Kitchen, both bathrooms, laundry- I'm responsible for these.

    Anything that needs to be done in those rooms (sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, windows) is done by the person who is in charge of the room. Sometimes they become reliant on another room- for example, I can't do laundry unless he cleans up the bedroom and sorts it. I can't do dishes unless he brings the dishes out of the dining room or living room and into the kitchen.

    Yardwork is mostly a joint effort, mostly in the fall when we have tons upon tons of leaves.

    Cooking is alternating days, with a plan for going out. For example, if it's my day to cook and I want to go out I have two choices- pay out of joint money and cook the next day, or pay out of personal money and skip my cooking day.
  • We have a pretty good system in place that works for us.

    Cooking: We alternate for dinners mostly, I normally pack up our lunches in the morning and we take care of our own breakfast generally.
    Dishes: I unload, H washes and loads the dishwasher. We each had our preferences so it worked out well.
    Laundry: He'll switch loads over, but I find that I mostly put everything away.
    Vacuuming: Mostly FI, but I will occasionally
    Dusting: me
    Mopping floors: Both
    Clean bathroom: Both
    Clean kitchen: Both of us.
    Taking out trash/recycling: FI mostly, I will if it needs it.
    General tidying/decluttering: Generally me, he's better at creating clutter :)
    Yard work: He mows, I do more of the gardening type of work.

  • HD's schedule varies depending on the time of year.

    Summer (Mid-May - end of Sept)  - I pretty much do all of the house work.  DH does a few random things.  He also is not home (only 2 days off since may).  

    The rest of the year it's more 60% me, 40% DH.  

     We do not have a breakdown tasks.  When something needs to be done we just do it.   DH tends to prefer vacuuming and mopping.  I tend to do the bathrooms and laundry, but we switch.   We eat most of our meals alone, so it's often every man for themselves when it comes to cooking and dishes.  If we do eat together at home he tends to cook and me the dishes.

    I work about half the hours DH does and from home.  .  I get off around 2pm.  DH doesn't get home until 9 or 10.   It stands to reason I would take on more stuff since I'm here and see it.

    My normal routine is once I get up I straighten up the living room/kitchen.   Then go to work (bottom floor of our place).  a few days a week  I will run a load of laundry in the wash. Eventually I will hang the laundry outside to dry.    Once I'm done work I fold and put away the laundry.  Wash my lunch dishes.    Weekends I will do the bathroom, vacuum, dust, etc.  

    I'm very much a place for everything, everything in it's place type person.     So while our house is NOT white glove ready, it's for the most part organized as I'm always making sure things are where they should.   DH doesn't care and sometimes get annoyed because I put things away so quickly he can't find something.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • We never really completely discussed a chore schedule or anything like that, but we were both raised pretty traditionally and that's how our relationship is too.  He also travels a lot for work so when he's traveling, it's almost all on me except for a few things he does on weekends when he's home.

    Cooking: 99% me.  He cooks for me on my birthday.  I sometimes wish he would cook a bit more, because he's good at it.  When he's not on the road he has a lot of free time.
    Dishes: Mostly me (which is annoying).  When I first moved in, he told me if I cooked, he would do dishes but it slowly trickled over to me doing them.  
    Laundry: All me again.  Every now and then if he wants something specific washed he'll do a load, because I always do laundry on Sundays (unless we're busy then I'll do it on Saturday).
    Vacuuming: me
    Dusting: me
    Mopping floors: me
    Clean bathroom: Me unless our toilet gets particularly gross.  This might be TMI but he has Crohn's disease and it can get a little ummm messy in the toilet.  I make him clean it when that happens.
    Clean kitchen: Me, and try to keep up with it throughout the week after cooking so it never gets real bad.
    Clean kitty litter box Picking up dog poop: Him 95% of the time.
    Taking out trash/recycling: Him unless he's travelling then I do it, trash day is Tuesday.
    General tidying/decluttering: Both of us.  He's a bit more cluttery than I am so he'll tend to tidy up when it gets bad.  
    Yard work: All him.  In our old house I'd go out in our yard (which was all rocks) and pull weeds sometimes, but now we're on over an acre with no back landscaping so far, so everything has to be done w/ a weedeater. I'll do some shoveling if needed in the winter while he's gone, but otherwise I don't touch the yard, which is fine with me.  My dad owned a landscaping business so I was forced into child labor as a kid :)
    Married 9.12.15
  • This is really interesting. We've only been in the house 3 months and married 4 months. Before that we both had our own places, so we didn't really share non-meal chores. Now that we're in the house we never discussed who does what. We should probably take a look at it soon and decide if we're happy the way things have fallen

    Cooking: Me. I generally meal plan and sometimes H shops, but I usually cook. He's good at helping if I need it.

    Dishes: H unloads and puts away, I wash and load the dishwasher. I often do this while cooking anyways because I hate messy cooking.
    Laundry: We do our own. I don't really want to teach him all the ins and outs of dress clothes and hang to dry. Also I generally have to remember to read the label on my own clothes. Easier if I do it. And like a PP said, he doesn't use drier sheets.
    Vacuuming: We have 100% skipped this since moving into our house. oops. 
    Dusting: me
    Mopping floors: me
    Clean bathroom: me (at his place we had a division of labor, but that hasn't transferred over yet. We also have only done the full clean a few times)
    Clean kitchen: Me
    Taking out trash/recycling: H mostly. I have, but he seems to more often. He also goes around the house and empties the smaller trash cans.
    General tidying/decluttering: Both of us. He's a neater person that I am. He is also the driver in me not keeping every thing that enters our house. 
    Yard work: H only. I haven't worked in the yard at all this year. I hope to change this next summer when we're not moving in and getting settled, I want to learn to garden.
  • I probably got into a bad pattern with DH because he was "just a guest" for so long, and didn't move into my house until 7 months before the wedding.  He stayed here almost 100% of the time, but all of his "stuff" was at his apartment, so he didn't do much around my place.  I also had a roommate until that time that I never assigned any chores to except for mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. 

    When DH moved in, he took over the outside chores, but there really isn't that much to do most of the year!

    Cooking: H is home 3 or 4 days a week, and he typically cooks if we eat at home those days.  Obviously I either cook just for myself or don't bother the other days.

    Dishes: I usually do the dishes and load the dishwasher, but I refuse to unload the dishwasher.  I'm a weirdo and keep my dishes in the lower cabinet so I hate all the bending! 

    Laundry: We do our own.  I do the "household" laundry - towels, bedding, tablecloths

    Vacuuming: Me

    Dusting: Me

    Mopping floors: Honestly this about never gets done, but if we are having visitors like his parents, I will ask H to break out the Swiffer wet jet thing.

    Clean bathroom: Me - somehow this one is too disgusting but I clearly remember him cleaning his apartment bathroom!

    Clean kitchen: All me. 

    Clean kitty litter box: Take care of the dog: Mostly only me, unless I remind him I will be out of town.

    Taking out trash/recycling: Usually me - somehow only I remember what days it needs to go out.

    General tidying/decluttering: Mostly me, but I have a lot more stuff.

    Yard work: H does the mowing - we both mostly neglect anything else!

    So.... Does anyone have a cleaning lady?? My BFF started getting one for her little apartment in Brooklyn, and man am I jealous!  I wouldn't want one every week (yes I would but don't want to pay every week) but for more deep cleaning things, I wonder if it would be worth it so I don't waste my own time every month or two scrubbing out the microwave or cleaning tile??   


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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    I desperately want a housecleaner, only if to do a good deeper cleaning once a month.  But alas, it is not in the budget.  Most of our neighbors have one though.
    Married 9.12.15
  • I desperately want a housecleaner, only if to do a good deeper cleaning once a month.  But alas, it is not in the budget.  Most of our neighbors have one though.

    See I think we could find the money but I'm sure DH will think it's a waste! (Why not, it's not like he will do these things...)  I think we're going to take Financial Peace University in September though and I'm pretty sure it will be off the table at that point :-P


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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    luckya23 said:
    I desperately want a housecleaner, only if to do a good deeper cleaning once a month.  But alas, it is not in the budget.  Most of our neighbors have one though.

    See I think we could find the money but I'm sure DH will think it's a waste! (Why not, it's not like he will do these things...)  I think we're going to take Financial Peace University in September though and I'm pretty sure it will be off the table at that point :-P

    I'm the cheap one of the relationship.  FI would prefer the house be cleaner than it is (again, I do everything, and also work full time), so he thinks I should pay for a housecleaner when I tell him I don't have the time to do it how he thinks it should be done (but heaven forbid he do it himself LOL).  I'm like well, that's not in the budget, unless you want to eat ramen noodles for dinner.
    Married 9.12.15
  • DH really wants us to hire a house cleaner, but I'm a cheapskate and refuse. We probably could afford it if we worked through the budget, but I can think of way better things I'd spend any surplus money on (retirement savings, vacations, dinner out, etc). Our apartment is only 1200 sq ft. It takes about 1 hour/week to keep relatively clean if we both contribute. I may reconsider if we ever get a big house (but neither of us wants a big house!)
  • FI does 98% of the cooking. I usually prep for him (grab out all the ingredients, start chopping etc). and then I wash the dishes.

    I also clean the bathrooms because FI just hates doing it and I don't mind so thats my one really 'my chore'.

    Everything else we really both contribute too. If FI sorts through the laundry and puts on a load, I will fold it and put it away. If FI is sweeping then I am dusting.

    We tend to have cleaning house parties where we throw on music and have a glass of wine and just get it done so there is never 'you didn't do your chores' its just start cleaning and when its done its done.

    FI has to be the one to take out the garbage though. We have a dumpster in the lot, and I am only 5 feet tall and I physically cannot open the dumpster because of my height. 
  • We have never really discussed a plan for division of labor, but it generally works out – aside from occasional bickering about dishes or clutter.

    Cooking: I cook on H’s work days (3-4 days/week) plus weekends. So, usually 5-6 days a week. But I enjoy cooking more – if I didn’t do it, H would make top ramen or mac and cheese every night.

    Dishes: Mostly me. H is better at keeping the counters clean though.

    Laundry: We do our own. We’re both particular about it. I wash bedding and towels most of the time.

    Vacuuming: Whoever decides they can’t stand it anymore, usually H caves first.

    Dusting: Dusting? People dust?

    Mopping floors: We both do, probably 50/50. But it’s a rare occurrence.

    Clean bathroom: I do more quick cleans (wipe out sink, clean mirror, scrub toilet bowl), but he does the deep cleaning (taking apart the shower doors, scrubbing the floor)

    Clean kitchen: I keep it generally tidy, he’s more likely to spend hours deep cleaning it

    Taking out trash/recycling: When H works Sundays (the night we put trash out), I handle it. When he works Saturdays, he does it. He probably empties the inside trash more than I do.

    General tidying/decluttering: H usually initiates it, but he makes me deal with my own clutter (understandable)

    Yard work: H does all lawn mowing and big projects, we split the gardening. I water the garden more


    And I will add…

    Making the bed:   Me. It’s supposed to be whoever gets out of bed last, but he rarely makes it when it’s his turn.

    Grocery shopping: I do all the large trips and most after work stops; H only goes if he needs something specific.

    Cleaning out the litter box: We alternate every week

    Picking up dog poop: We probably do this equally

    Walking the dog: Me

    Collecting eggs/refilling chicken food and water: Me, unless I specifically ask H to do it

    Cleaning out the fridge: Me usually

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • This should be interesting...


    Cooking: We both love cooking. So, either is good. We don't divide this up.
    Dishes: I HATE doing the dishes. When we moved in together we said that I would load, he would unload (he sucks at loading). But then I will load, and he will not unload. So the dishes start piling up haha. And then he will unload and load all at once. And then get mad that I didn't load them! If anything needs handwashing I will usually do it.
    Laundry: We generally do our own laundry, however for whites neither of us usually have a full load, so we may ask 'hey I'm doing whites tomorrow, do you need anything washed?' and do it together.
    Vacuuming: We don't vacuum.
    Dusting: We don't really dust either...
    Mopping floors: Usually bf. But it depends.
    Clean bathroom: Both.
    Clean kitchen: Usually bf. He is off on Fridays and will do a nice kitchen clean before we start our weekend cookings.
    Clean kitty litter box: NA
    Taking out trash/recycling: Me
    General tidying/decluttering: Both
    Yard work: Not really 'work' because we don't have grass, but I will tend to the garden.

    Making the bed: Neither of us? Lol.

    Grocery shopping: usually together, if not, me.

    Cleaning out the fridge: ehh, either.


    TBH I don't care if my house isn't spotless. I'm not a clean freak. He isn't either, but I think he is one of those that gets stressed if the house is TOO messy.

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