Wedding Etiquette Forum

A little part of me died inside when..

I saw a facebook post from a bride telling people... "by now you should've received your wedding invitation. If you haven't and think we liked you enough to invite you then let me know..."

UM. WHAT?!

Then... "please respect MY PLANNING TIME and return your RSVPS ASAP!"

Ok. No. Just No.

Yes people suck and won't RSVP and that is a breach of etiquette but telling people to respect your time on Facebook is in my opinion worse. And basically saying anyone who didn't get an invitation wasn't liked enough.

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Re: A little part of me died inside when..

  • NO no no.  That's not really...that did not happen.  How can you post something TO ALL YOUR FB FRIENDS saying that you sent the invitations, but them .  What happens if someone says "Hey I didn't get mine"...then 

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  • Is it bad I want someone to?

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  • Wow- that is...  yeah. No.
  • Is that the wedding equivalent of "I've cleaned out my FB friends list and if you can read this, you are SAFE! :):):) "
  • Holy. Crap. What happens if the person who responds and is one you left off on purpose? Or if it's some creepy friend from HS who you don't really talk to and don't remember if your FB friend. That is just so much danger. And so terrible!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    Totally off topic.  Your title offends me.  I thought this was going to be a sad story about something tragic in your family.  Please don't be a drama princess.
    You wanna talk about death.......?
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  • CMGragain said:
    Totally off topic.  Your title offends me.  I thought this was going to be a sad story about something tragic in your family.  Please don't be a drama princess.
    You wanna talk about death.......?
    I think her FB friend is being the drama princess, not OP
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yikes! I can't believe someone would post that on their FB.

    The bride and groom obviously didn't invite every single person they know for a reason... why even put that out there? As we say, rude to point out who ISN'T invited to something.

    As for the RSVP thing... that's just ridiculous. That is why there is usually an RSVP date- so guests know when to respond by. People don't have to respond ASAP (and I'm going to assume this person could be one of those people who sent their invites super early, and wants an RSVP super early, when her guests may not know that long in advance).

    And it affects her planning? How so? Numbers are not due to the venue until a couple weeks before, so she really doesn't need those RSVPs until then anyway....

    Yeesh....
  • No, it isn't a common figure of speech..and I find it offensive.
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  • SP29 said:
    Yikes! I can't believe someone would post that on their FB.

    The bride and groom obviously didn't invite every single person they know for a reason... why even put that out there? As we say, rude to point out who ISN'T invited to something.

    As for the RSVP thing... that's just ridiculous. That is why there is usually an RSVP date- so guests know when to respond by. People don't have to respond ASAP (and I'm going to assume this person could be one of those people who sent their invites super early, and wants an RSVP super early, when her guests may not know that long in advance).

    And it affects her planning? How so? Numbers are not due to the venue until a couple weeks before, so she really doesn't need those RSVPs until then anyway....

    Yeesh....
    To be fair, I had NO IDEA how many centerpieces I would need (I made them) until all the RSVPs were in.  I invited 170 and about 95 rsvp'ed yes.  BIG DIFFERENCE with 8 seat tables!

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  • CMGragain said:
    No, it isn't a common figure of speech..and I find it offensive.
    I'm curous as to why you find it offensive CMG?
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  • Just saw this - I apologize CMG if the title of the post offended you.... Meant to be snarky and to my knowledge the saying has nothing to do with death.

    I definitely didn't mean anything by it!

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  • Totally off topic.  Your title offends me.  I thought this was going to be a sad story about something tragic in your family.  Please don't be a drama princess.
    You wanna talk about death.......?
    What? No. That's absurd. It's a common figure of speach. It would be horrifying to say a little part of you died . . . when your mom died. A little part of me dies every time I run out of the fancy coconut water.
    A little part of me dies when I hear teenagers talk on the bus and realise THEY are the future...someone kill me now! Look! Two hyperbolic figures of speech, I'm good.
    I was watching an episode of "Don't Be Tardy" and that lady's oldest daughter was in the car with her boyfriend.  They called up a place to order take out.  She asked for a crab cake but the restaurant said they were sold out.  So she asked if there was something that could be substituted for the crab, like maybe do a carrot cake instead.

    So many things went through my mind.
    1)  Not only is this girl dumb as a doorknob but so is the boyfriend who agreed with her.
    2)  How can she possibly think that carrot is an appropriate substitute for crab?
    3)  How can someone be this stupid?
    4)  Is this really the future of our country?



  • Just saw this - I apologize CMG if the title of the post offended you.... Meant to be snarky and to my knowledge the saying has nothing to do with death.

    I definitely didn't mean anything by it!

    I'm sorry if you're embarrassed, blushing. I didn't assume that you were about to break some tragic news when I read your title. There was nothing offensive about it.


    Exactly.  You did nothing wrong. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:


    Just saw this - I apologize CMG if the title of the post offended you.... Meant to be snarky and to my knowledge the saying has nothing to do with death.

    I definitely didn't mean anything by it!

    I'm sorry if you're embarrassed, blushing. I didn't assume that you were about to break some tragic news when I read your title. There was nothing offensive about it.


    Exactly.  You did nothing wrong. 
    This.  Never feel pressured into apologizing for something if you do not believe you did anything wrong.  Too many people feel the need to apologize when there is nothing to apologize for.  Kind of makes apologies seem less meaningful.

  • Thanks ladies! Totally didn't mean to start anything... I logged on and was like WHOA WHOA WHOA.

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  • Thanks ladies! Totally didn't mean to start anything... I logged on and was like WHOA WHOA WHOA.
    You're good. You weren't the one that started anything.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    I spent four hours that morning having a PET scan to determine which part of my body will be dying next.  It isn't a figure of speech for me.  I have been very upset about this.  I suggest that people not use this in casual conversation.  You don't know who is listening.
    Am I too sensitive?  You have to walk in my shoes before you get to judge this one.
    OP, thank you for your apology.  It is accepted, and I appreciate it.  You sound like a nice lady.
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