Pre-wedding Parties

ALL Bridesmaids missing a bridal tea

So I'm getting married in one week and my aunt is throwing me a bridal tea for friends and family that are from out of town.  Kind of like a welcome brunch.  She sent out invitations a month ago.  
All of my bridesmaids are originally from the same area, but after college we have all moved within a 3 hour radius.  
None of my bridesmaids RSVP'd to the tea..so I texted them asking if they would be there.
NONE are attending.  Many gave excuses...which were pretty lame, in my opinion.  

I understand that most of us are from out of town, including myself.  However, I can't help but feel kind of hurt by it.  I mean...no one can make it?!  Am I over reacting, or are there other brides out there that would be kind of disappointed? 

I also sent a text to them stating that I understand if it would not be possible to make it, but that it would also mean a lot to me if they could.  I'm trying my best to be understanding. 

Re: ALL Bridesmaids missing a bridal tea

  • Only 1 of my bridesmaid's showed up to my shower hosted by Mom and FMIL. One other one was supposed to go and then canceled day of for some reason. It happens, life is busy and especially if they do have to drive far, it makes it harder. Honestly while it would be awesome to have all my bridesmaids there I had a blast with the people who did make it and I'm sure you will too.

    My recommendation, be disappointed for a minute, have a drink of your choice, forget about it and enjoy the people who do show up to celebrate you. Don't try to guilt them into going by telling them how much it would mean that they be there. They've made their choices.
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  • Personally, I wouldn't be driving 3 hours to attend a bridal tea. Is this also in addition to a shower and a bach party? 
  • When is the tea in relation to the wedding and rehearsal?  Your wedding is in a week, so I am thinking the tea is either this weekend or like the day before the wedding?  If your bridesmaids all live up to 3 hours away, this could potentially mean an extra day off of work for them, or an extra night in a hotel, or an added trip back and forth.  That's A LOT to ask of them in the span of a few days.  

    It sucks and I would be disappointed as well, but you have to understand that they have their own lives they need to take care of before your wedding weekend begins.  Try not to make them feel guilty by telling them it would mean a lot to you for them to be there - they have already said they can't make it.  All that's doing is making them feel bad about it (or annoyed).  Have a glass of wine and let it go.  You're getting married in a week!!!  Focus on that excitement.


  • That is true I didn't think of it like that. It is the same Friday as the rehearsal dinner. Most of my bridesmaids don't work as they're still in school.

    I didn't necessarily ask why they couldn't come, it was more of when I asked for an RSVP they gave them.

    I think it's way more of the stress talking than actually being annoyed by it.
  • That is true I didn't think of it like that. It is the same Friday as the rehearsal dinner. Most of my bridesmaids don't work as they're still in school. I didn't necessarily ask why they couldn't come, it was more of when I asked for an RSVP they gave them. I think it's way more of the stress talking than actually being annoyed by it.
    Good girl.  Take a breath.  Do a shot.  And stop thinking about it.  You'll have fun.  It'll be fine.  Then you'll be getting married!!!!  Squeeeee!
  • I have a few bridesmaids who can't make it to my shower and one of our moms also can't go. It's disappointing, I know. But don't worry, you will still have fun regardless!


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  • So I'm getting married in one week and my aunt is throwing me a bridal tea for friends and family that are from out of town.  Kind of like a welcome brunch.  She sent out invitations a month ago.  
    All of my bridesmaids are originally from the same area, but after college we have all moved within a 3 hour radius.  
    None of my bridesmaids RSVP'd to the tea..so I texted them asking if they would be there.
    NONE are attending.  Many gave excuses...which were pretty lame, in my opinion.  

    I understand that most of us are from out of town, including myself.  However, I can't help but feel kind of hurt by it.  I mean...no one can make it?!  Am I over reacting, or are there other brides out there that would be kind of disappointed? 

    I also sent a text to them stating that I understand if it would not be possible to make it, but that it would also mean a lot to me if they could.  I'm trying my best to be understanding. 
    That sucks that your bridesmaids can't make it, but if you're trying your best to be understanding, the one thing you can do is let it go.  Life sucks sometimes, and this is one of those times.
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