To be honest I wasn't sure where to post this, but it's feeling like a vent so I am posting it here.
No shying around the subject: my bridal party and me like our cocktails. We're all in the same circle of friends and I know how each one handles her booze. Most of them are fine and dandy after a couple of drinks and just want to have a good time. Some (two specifically) are downright sloppy. I didn't even care or think of this as an issue whatsoever until this past weekend which was my bachelorette party. The two bridesmaids were a total mess at the party and to be honest, it killed the mood and put a damper on the night. We had to end the night early because one was refused at the bars for being too drunk and then proceeded to freak out at the bouncers, causing a scene everywhere we went, and then cried for the remainder of the night. I was the only one who could later console her by repeatedly letting her know I wasn't mad at her -- although TBH this behavior drives me crazy -- I just know getting angry would make things worse with her specifically.
The other sloppy friend vanished from our group to get late night food and was later found passed out on our bus. Some other bridesmaids and me all felt responsible to watch her for the remainder of the night to make sure she was okay. Overall it was a long night of babysitting two grown-ups who haven't figured out how to drink appropriately and can't seem to be responsible for themselves. I wish I could say this was a unique situation being that it was my bachelorette party, but the truth is that this is typical behavior from them. My wedding day is going to be a long day of getting ready with bubbly and wine and cocktails and probably some really light eating. I know me and most of my bridesmaids know how to pace ourselves and control our drinking but these other two... I'm not confident. I'm not about to lay down rules and treat them like children, but it's hard not to worry that I'm going to be spending a portion of my wedding consoling a crying bridesmaid or making sure one doesn't puke on herself. Help.
Re: Drunk bridesmaids
It happens to the best of us (me a couple of times), especially at a b-party. Let it go, it probably won't be like that at your wedding. Even if it does, it's not your problem and might be a funny story later on in life. I learned my lesson when I partied too hard, maybe they did too.
I think people don't realize that when they are that drunk at the wedding, they are distracting, and taking attention away from who the day is about in a disrespectful way. I know I always have one eye out on the one bridesmaid that is leaning on her friend to make it through the ceremony, and who is distracting at the head table, and who the wedding party has to keep tracking down for the important moments. You know the "one", the shoes off an hour into the wedding, hair is a hot mess, drink is glued to the hand, glassy eyed gal that is all over the men. She is a class act...
I see this more at younger weddings (twenties) and post-sorority weddings. Less so at the thirty something weddings, because when you look that wasted you are treading into alcoholic territory.
If it was me, I either 1) wouldn't invite someone to stand with me who can't be mature enough to hold off on getting that tipsy during MY day or 2) Frankly tell them the "drunk bridesmaid" role is distracting from your day and give them the option to bow out, if they don't want to "feel" constrained 3) If they end up sloppy you will be sure to have the photographer take every unflattering picture they can and liberally share them all over social media as punishment.
I think people don't realize that when they are that drunk at the wedding, they are distracting, and taking attention away from who the day is about in a disrespectful way. I know I always have one eye out on the one bridesmaid that is leaning on her friend to make it through the ceremony, and who is distracting at the head table, and who the wedding party has to keep tracking down for the important moments. You know the "one", the shoes off an hour into the wedding, hair is a hot mess, drink is glued to the hand, glassy eyed gal that is all over the men. She is a class act...
I see this more at younger weddings (twenties) and post-sorority weddings. Less so at the thirty something weddings, because when you look that wasted you are treading into alcoholic territory.
If it was me, I either 1) wouldn't invite someone to stand with me who can't be mature enough to hold off on getting that tipsy during MY day or 2) Frankly tell them the "drunk bridesmaid" role is distracting from your day and give them the option to bow out, if they don't want to "feel" constrained 3) If they end up sloppy you will be sure to have the photographer take every unflattering picture they can and liberally share them all over social media as punishment.
>>>BOXES<<<
Wow. There's so much to say about this (like, I don't care how sober I am, my shoes are coming off an hour into a wedding if I don't have backup flats) but particularly that bolded part. If you respect someone so little that you would do that to them, you probably shouldn't be asking them into your bridal party in the first place. And if you're the type of person who thinks it's ok to "punish" your nearest and dearest friends, I don't know why they would want to be friends with you. That's not how adults should treat each other.
Totally agree. Quite frankly what insulted me the most was your assumption that this happens "more at younger weddings (twenties) and post-sorority weddings. Less so at the thirty something weddings, because when you look that wasted you are treading into alcoholic territory" ..... I'm in my twenties. We had an open bar at our wedding and zero of my twenty something friends got too drunk... However H and I have aunts and uncles who each may have had a bit too much to drink.... They are well out of their twenties and into their forties and fifties but are in no way alcoholics. Your post is probably one of the most ridiculous things I've seen on this website... I'm hoping you were being sarcastic.
Like you all haven't seen this everywhere: