Fiance wants to B-list. His cousin has a friend and employee who is kind of like family. She works for him and they have remained close friends and she lives in a house he owns (for work purposes- he is a farrier and does a lot with an exchange program so he has a house where his students and apprentices can live).
She has come to the last few Easters and/or Thanksgivings with us as her family is in another state and she can't always go home.
Fiance didn't put her on the guest list 18 month ago. He didn't add her when I said last chance 5 weks ago when invites were sent. Now that we've had a handful of declines he wants to invite her. Our RSVPs are due back to us on 9/21. NO.
He said it's more rude to tell cousin to bring her along than to invite her now. I told him we wouldn't be doing that. We'd offer his cousin a plus one and he could choose whoever he wanted to bring. Maybe it would be this girl, maybe it would be the guy who rents a room in the basement. We don't get to tell him who to bring.
I explained that he's basically sending her a message that she's invited to come now only because we had declines since she didn't make the first cut. He said people he knows don't think like that. I guess it's gone over his head that he's marrying someone who thinks like that.
I can tell this is going to fester with him which means it'll bother me too probably for the whole 3 day weekend. Boooo!
ETA: cousin was invited alone; I asked if he was seeing anyone we could invite by name and he said no (he's a confirmed bachelor but dates a lot). Also, just want to say I have no problems with this girl. She's nice and down to earth, has been a good friend to fiance's cousin and his grandpa, who fiance's cousin has taken care of for a number of years. It's because I like her that I don't want to do something this rude to her.
ETAA he said that unless I'm dead set against it he's going to invite her. I told him I'm not going to be the one to make that decision. He asked if I would be angry and I said yes because I think it's rude and I don't like treating people rudely or seeming rude myself.
He went into some BS about rude being in the intention and it's not his intention to make her feel second class. And he doesn't seem to gey that he doesn't get to decide how this girl interprets things.
I told him whatever- your wedding too do what you want. I mean that, I'm not going to die on this hill but honestly I'll be angry at him for this. Gonna be a great weekend. Good thing he works tomorrow and Sunday.