GNO Invite

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Got an invite to a friend's (?) GNO Bachelorette party.

I say friend "question mark" because when we each started dating our now fiancés we didn't have much contact thereafter- weren't super close to begin with. I've invited them out with us and they always decline so I just stopped making the effort. It's fine, I'm not really upset- people drift apart.

I was surprised to receive an STD to her wedding. Even more surprised to get the GNO invite from her sister (who I'm guessing is MOH because they're pretty close).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised after all the stuff I've read on TK, but this is a pretty bad invite.

Dinner and Lou Malnati's in the City- it's a pizza place. One I like, but not fancy (this matters later). Two stops for drinks, one is a club; transportation is provided so that's good.

Pot luck booze request for the party bus.

We've been told to "dress to impress." (So I'm going to a pizza place in a cocktail dress? Not my style I guess. Hell, I don't own a cocktail dress. I KNOW I would be the MOST under-dressed person there...)

Gifts are not required but appreciated. Her lingerie sizes were provided.

I think this is a no. Even if I had something to wear, still kind of a no.

Considering we've spoken about 3 times in the last year and I haven't laid eyes on her in almost two, this whole thing feels gift Granby to me.

*end minor rant*

Viczaesar · July 2015

What does GNO mean?

NowIAmSyp · July 2015

I'm guessing "Girls Night Out?"

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Yes, that's what it stands for. The word "Bachelorette" was never used but "bride-to-be" was on the invite.

sparklepants41 · September 2015

If I heard "dress to impress" I wouldn't automatically jump to cocktail dresses - I would assume nice jeans, sassy top, & heels.

[Deleted User] · September 2015

Thanks- it was last weekend and I saw pics from the day on FB- all cocktail dresses. I know these girls- ha ha!

Even if it was as you described; I don't own that shit either. I'm a basic bitch.

snowywinter · September 2015

How can you not own a pair of nice jeans and a fun top? The heels are optional, but just don't wear sneakers.

[Deleted User] · September 2015

I own a pair of jeans, but I don't own "fun" tops. Where would I wear them to? The community owned grocery store I'm trying to open? The garden bed we have at my future in-law's house? On the hiking trips we take? Camping?

99% of my clothing comes from Target; think plain t-shirts and/or shirts with my sports teams on them. Work wear? A pair of dress pants, a plain t-shirt and a cardigan. I have a few dresses I wear but they are not "dress to impress" dresses, they are work dresses.

snowywinter · September 2015

You can get a fun top at The Limited for $19.99 most of the time. It doesn't have to be fancy. Just not a t-shirt.

[Deleted User] · September 2015

So I go to the mall- that's the only place I've seen a Limited. I live almost an hour from the closest mall. I don't know. Spend 20 bucks on a top I'll wear once- meh, guess I'm just not that into it.

snowywinter · September 2015

Buy a top you would wear again. I'm not saying glitz, but you honestly would have no use for a cute top? You could wear it to the movies some night or to a girls' night out kind of thing or a date night with your SO.

Also, you can buy online. I do most of my clothes shopping online these days because with promo codes, it's so much easier and sometimes cheaper.

I'm talking about tops like these:

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/shirts-blouses/soho-soft-tunic-lace-gingham-/A-prod4570001/#N-102782

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/knits-tees/lace-inset-shell-/A-prod4820007/#N-102590

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/knits-tees/triple-keyhole-knit-tee/A-prod4540011/#N-102590

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/knits-tees/pleated-v-neck-top-paisley-print-/A-prod4920012/#N-102590

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/shirts-blouses/soho-soft-shirt-floral/A-prod4880006/#N-102782

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/apparel/tops/shirts-blouses/v-neck-shell-dot-print-/A-prod4590005/#N-102782

[Deleted User] · September 2015

They are cute but I can almost guarantee I would wear any of them for the one occasion and it would hang in my closet for a year and then get donated. How do I know this? I've done it before. My friend had a 30th birthday a few years ago. I wore the top once and it hung in my closet for a little over a year before I finally donated it.

I don't go to church. We don't have date nights- when we go out we usually go to the public house across the street- jeans and a tee are totally acceptable. I don't have GNOs because I don't have many friends and the few I do are far away or we just see each other for lunch once every 6 months. I could wear one of those tops to any of those places, or I can save the $20 and wear one of my plain colored t-shirts since they are also acceptable attire for those situations.

I guess living in a studio apartment with a tiny closet that I have to share with my SO has also made me maximize on space. I'm not using that hanger or drawer space for a top I'll wear once.

[Deleted User] · September 2015

Black V-neck T-shirt. Don't wear it when gardening or eating BBQ. It'll stay reasonably nice for fancy-ish events. And basic black is always a win.

MyNameIsNot · September 2015

FWIW, I have several cute tops from Target. I wear them to work with dress pants and a cardi/blazer, but then for date night or "out" with dark jeans.

There's a mall 4 miles from my house. I haven't set foot in it in 5 years.

STARMOON44 · September 2015

This all sounds so sad. You don't go out with your husband. You don't have friends. You won't buy a single top suitable for going out so you skip a party where you would have at least gotten to socialize with some people.

pinkcow13 · September 2015

STARMOON44 said:

This all sounds so sad. You don't go out with your husband. You don't have friends. You won't buy a single top suitable for going out so you skip a party where you would have at least gotten to socialize with some people.

This is an old thread, not sure why it was bumped up. But wow, way to judge someone's life. Some people are perfectly content with a simple kind of lifestlye, and not everyone is a social butterfly. How do you know that the reason she and her H don't go out is because they prefer to stay at home and do fun things there, or they're saving for a major purchase? And OP stated she is not really friends with this person. Also, not everyone is comfortable in a social situation. Maybe she had no desire to socialize with people she doesn't know. Just because OP's life is different from what you think is a "fun" or "happy" life, if she is happy with her life, that's all that matters, and she shouldn't be judged for that.

ETA - And who the hell cares if she won't buy a "suitable top for going out"? It's her damn money, she can buy whatever she wants! Why are people judging OP for not wanting buying a top, and not the host who is requiring a dress code to a girl's night out?

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Thank you PinkCow. You pretty much nailed this one.

StarMoon44, my lifestyle doesn't support the need for going out tops and nice jeans. And I prefer to spend my money on other things, not clothing. I'd rather be able to afford my organic food from local vendors (which can cost more than going to the chain stores), or donate to causes I care about with my extra money; because a fancy top would come out of my surplus- not my normal wardrobe budget.

My fiance and I "go out" but it's a meal usually. I am gone from 6:30am - 6:30pm every weekday for work. His schedule varies and the earliest he is home on a weeknight is 8pm; usually it's 9pm and at least once a week; it's 10pm. He also works at least 1 day every weekend and sometimes two. Not to mention that he only gets a schedule on Friday for the upcoming week. So we don't plan excursions and events- we have very little time together and we usually only know a week in advance what his schedule is; it makes it a bit more difficult to plan things given these factors. We walk across the street and have a meal or watch a movie in the winter if it's cold and we don't want to go out.

Fiance's best friends live in IA; about a 6 hour drive away from where we are in northern IL. My friends all live at minimum 40 minutes south; several have are newer parent and want to spend their time with their kids. Those who don't have kids aren't usually willing to drive up to see me and I'm tired of being the one to always drive down to see them- that doesn't seem "fair" to me. So no, I don't have a lot of close friends- and that's okay.

Just because we're not doing what you and your SO do or what a lot of couples do, doesn't mean that we can't be or aren't happy, and it isn't "sad" unless you think having a plethora of friends, fancy tops, and date nights are needed to be happy. This works for us.

julieanne912 · October 2015

Feeleytobe, even though this is kind of a dead thread, I'm with you. When my H and I go out, it's very rarely a dress up occasion. We go to hockey games, or to bars with friends, or to friends' houses, or we go to country music concerts. I think the last time we dressed up for something was NYE 2012 because my boss gifted us tickets and a room to a fancy hotel party downtown. That doesn't mean our relationship is terrible or "sad". Just means that's what we like to do.

And, if I received an invitation that said "dress to impress" I wouldn't think jeans and a cute top, especially in downtown Chicago. I used to live in Chicago proper. I used to go clubbing in downtown Chicago (and no, never would have even thought to eat at Lou Malnati's before hand... a meal there requires a nap afterwards!). Jeans and a "cute top" (especially like those ones that were linked to above), would have stuck out like a sore thumb. That's the kind of stuff I would wear to dinner with our neighbors or on a first date to a local restaurant back when I was dating... not out clubbing for a bachelorette party.

snowywinter · October 2015

Just curious, what WOULD you wear to go clubbing or "dress to impress" in Chicago?

julieanne912 · October 2015

snowywinter said:

Just curious, what WOULD you wear to go clubbing or "dress to impress" in Chicago?

Depends on the club, the theme, etc. But these types of outfits:

http://cdn.glamcheck.com/fashion/files/2013/12/Wearing-Black-Leather-Pants-with-Gray-Top.jpg

http://jessexplainsitall.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/skirt-long-sleeve.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b7/cc/40/b7cc40ebe378aa7e87f152866c1448c5.jpg

snowywinter · October 2015

That first outfit is really no different than jeans and a cute top. It's in that same family of casual, but not muck-out-the-barn casual. The others are more dressy and probably what I would personally wear if I got a "dress to impress" invite, but the OP is uncomfortable even wearing a cute top. No way will she be comfortable in bling.

julieanne912 · October 2015

snowywinter said:

That first outfit is really no different than jeans and a cute top. It's in that same family of casual, but not muck-out-the-barn casual. The others are more dressy and probably what I would personally wear if I got a "dress to impress" invite, but the OP is uncomfortable even wearing a cute top. No way will she be comfortable in bling.

Well since the party has already came and went, we don't need to worry about FeeleytoBe's outfit choices for said party now, do we?

I'm just saying, "dress to impress" in downtown Chicago is NOT "jeans and a cute top" like you seem to think it is. If someone isn't used to dressing up at all, they'll feel extra uncomfortable showing up to GNO being the most underdressed person there.

TheCheeseWench · October 2015

I used to date an "out and about" type who lived in Chicago. I felt like I needed to drag my "cocktailish" work wardrobe with me every time I visited. We went to a cubs game once, and that was the only time we went anywhere I felt comfortable in jeans.

Honestly since I do have to dress up for so many work events, I spend most of "our time" in jeans and a (usually one of his) t-shirt. It's just comfy and happy for us. Our big Tuesday night "date night" (MW is off on Tuesdays) last night was grilling on the back porch followed by some beer & cigars by the chiminea. You don't have to tear up the town together to have a great time. You don't even have to be particularly sociable. Some people just like to live in their comfy zone during their personal time.

Edited because I have fat fingers.

onefootinthebayou · October 2015

snowywinter said:

Just curious, what WOULD you wear to go clubbing or "dress to impress" in Chicago?

Same thing you would in NYC. A Helmut Lang or Vince cocktail dress and very hot shoes:

Jeans and a cute top are something you could wear to a bar in the city but not clubbing. I don't love going to clubs but if I must, I'm not wearing jeans and a cute top.

OP, that's a super weird invite. Ditto to whoever said clubbing is a weird place to go after Lou Malnatis! Unless a mu-mu counts as "dress to impress", I'm not slinking into a cocktail dress after a "bowl of pizza".

snowywinter · October 2015

julieanne912 said:

snowywinter said:

That first outfit is really no different than jeans and a cute top. It's in that same family of casual, but not muck-out-the-barn casual. The others are more dressy and probably what I would personally wear if I got a "dress to impress" invite, but the OP is uncomfortable even wearing a cute top. No way will she be comfortable in bling.

Well since the party has already came and went, we don't need to worry about FeeleytoBe's outfit choices for said party now, do we?

I'm just saying, "dress to impress" in downtown Chicago is NOT "jeans and a cute top" like you seem to think it is. If someone isn't used to dressing up at all, they'll feel extra uncomfortable showing up to GNO being the most underdressed person there.

Considering the poster asked US what she should wear and the fact that the invite specifically mentioned a pizza place, I feel comfortable with the advice she was given and how we would take an invite like that. FYI, I've been clubbing in Boston, L.A., New Orleans, and Minneapolis. Jeans and cute top is always acceptable. Do some aim to go for the glitz/cocktail factor? Absolutely! And I have on occasion as well, but if I was going to a pizza place to begin with, I'd absolutely feel comfortable wearing nice jeans and a cute top and I wouldn't feel the least bit under-dressed.

TheCheeseWench · October 2015

I'm still grossed out that this person sent you her preferred sized in "fuckwear". You keep your bedtime wardrobe to yourself and I'll keep mine thanks. Seriously, who REALLY wants their besties to pick out shit that may or may not get removed from your lady bits by your man with his teeth?

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