How to explain to guests that they need to pay bride and groom for accomodations

Knottie1441672978.defunct635816164942559123 · September 2015

Hi there,

My fiance and I found a great venue in Northern Michigan and will get married there next Memorial Day weekend. It's a historic resort right on the lake. The resort includes several accommodation options, cabins and hotel rooms. To use this venue for our wedding we had to reserve a portion of the accommodations and pay for them upfront. We will have our ceremony and reception at the resort and plan to spend extra time with our guests on Sunday since it's a holiday weekend. The resort includes a beach and water toys such as kayaks and a pontoon boat. We will have the accommodations for Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.

Since we paid for the accommodations up front, we plan to ask our guest to pay us directly if they would like to stay at the resort for the weekend. The rate is comparable to other hotels in the area, which will be a 20+ minute drive from our venue. So it's really an ideal set up for guests to stay at the resort. All of our guests will be traveling at least 4 hours by car to the venue, about a third of the guests will be flying in from other states. We've only reserved space for about half our guest list, but maybe to reserve more of the resort if necessary.

I'm wondering if other's had a similar experience? Any advice in how to explain the arrangements to guests and encourage them to book with us? Since this is a destination wedding where everyone will need to make some type of accommodation plans, how early should we send out invitations and save the dates?

Thanks!

ShesSoCold · September 2015

Knottie1441672978 said:

Hi there,
My fiance and I found a great venue in Northern Michigan and will get married there next Memorial Day weekend. It's a historic resort right on the lake. The resort includes several accommodation options, cabins and hotel rooms. To use this venue for our wedding we had to reserve a portion of the accommodations and pay for them upfront. We will have our ceremony and reception at the resort and plan to spend extra time with our guests on Sunday since it's a holiday weekend. The resort includes a beach and water toys such as kayaks and a pontoon boat. We will have the accommodations for Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.

Since we paid for the accommodations up front, we plan to ask our guest to pay us directly if they would like to stay at the resort for the weekend. The rate is comparable to other hotels in the area, which will be a 20+ minute drive from our venue. So it's really an ideal set up for guests to stay at the resort. All of our guests will be traveling at least 4 hours by car to the venue, about a third of the guests will be flying in from other states. We've only reserved space for about half our guest list, but maybe to reserve more of the resort if necessary.

I'm wondering if other's had a similar experience? Any advice in how to explain the arrangements to guests and encourage them to book with us? Since this is a destination wedding where everyone will need to make some type of accommodation plans, how early should we send out invitations and save the dates?

Thanks!

Nope.

Maggie0829 · September 2015

MyNameIsNot · September 2015

Simple answer: You can't.

You paid this because it was the cost of your venue. That's part of your wedding budget. You can't ask your guests to help pay for the venue. Give the rooms you've paid for to your VIPs and let others book directly with the venue.

levioosa · September 2015

Sounds like a case of poor planning. You can't do this. Consider it part of your venue fee. If you can't afford it, that was shitty planning on your part. Cut down on flowers, favors, etc in order to make it work and give those rooms to your VIPs.

TNDancer · September 2015

Yup. Super tacky. I looked at a venue like this. The coordinator made it sound as though guests could take the rooms like a regular hotel, but as we dug deeper learned we would pay up front and people would pay us back.

My mom went into angry mode on that one and told the coordinator it was bullshit. Needless to say we didn't choose that venue.

STARMOON44 · September 2015

I'd ask the resort if you can guarantee payment for the required number of rooms, but let your guests book directly through the hotel and pay the hotel, the same as they would with any hotel block. And then the hotel credits you for any rooms actually booked and paid for and you eat the cost of any extras. Assuming it's too late to just scrap the whole plan.

thespeshulestsnowflake · September 2015

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

monkeysip · September 2015

STARMOON44 said:

I'd ask the resort if you can guarantee payment for the required number of rooms, but let your guests book directly through the hotel and pay the hotel, the same as they would with any hotel block. And then the hotel credits you for any rooms actually booked and paid for and you eat the cost of any extras. Assuming it's too late to just scrap the whole plan.

Exactly this. You can't ask people to pay you directly. The hotel should provide this for you, and you are just responsible for any unbooked rooms.

arrrghmatey · September 2015

Are you serious?

This was a horrible idea. You can't tell guests where to stay or how to spend their money. Super, super tacky.

lyndausvi · September 2015

There isn't a good way at all.

Questions:

How many rooms to you have to "sell"?

Are they "required" to stay all 3 night?

How do you come up with the costs per room? I assume there are different room categories? How many per room?

Do you really want to be responsible for collecting all that money?

Are you willing to refund if some can't make the trip after all?

What happens if you do not fill all the rooms?

Seems like a logistical night mare too me. But I also do not know how many guests you have compared to rooms either.

SP29 · September 2015

I agree with Starmoon. I would ask the venue, if guests book a room, that the venue credit it to your account and then the VENUE gives YOU the refund.

It would not be polite to tell guests you've already paid for rooms and now you need them to book there and pay you for it. You can't require your guests to stay anywhere.

Even though your guests are travelling, they may find a resort too pricey and choose to stay at a more standard hotel and drive to the wedding. We had blocks at two different hotels. We had a fair number of travelling guests. Most didn't use our blocks and found their own accommodations based on their budget and travel plans.

I agree this sounds like a logistical nightmare for you! What if a guest only wants to stay one night? How do you know which fee to charge when there are different types of rooms? Keeping track of who is staying where and if/when they paid you money sounds like a lot of stress leading up to your wedding date. What if someone doesn't pay you? What if not all guests book a room at the resort?

A general rule, for life, is not to pay for something on behalf of someone (or loan money or book something thinking you'll be paid back) unless it is money you are willing to lose.

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Seriously, there are so many beautiful resorts in Northern Michigan and you went with this one, whichever it is? Did you look at other resorts? I know Grand Traverse, Boyne, and so many others don't do this. I agree with PP's; ask the hotel to book the rooms directly and credit you the difference, or offer the rooms to your VIP's and eat the costs.

jacques27 · September 2015

This sounds like a horrible idea. At the very least, talk to them and make arrangements for people to book with the resort and you get credited back what you paid. Or, chalk this up to a very expensive lesson if you don't want to find a new place and treat your VIPs.

1. Depending on my relationship to you, I wouldn't feel comfortable just handing over money to you. I'd rather book with my own credit card, reap the rewards of my card benefits, and know that I have protection if something goes wrong (I have to cancel, I need a late check-in, the hotel loses the reservation, a pipe bursts and floods the resort and I'm left finding somewhere else to stay, etc.)

2. Generally, most places require the person who booked the reservation and is the owner of the credit card used to be present at check-in. So are you going to check in for everyone and then chase everyone down all night to give them their room assignments? Or just hang out at the reception desk all night waiting for people to stream in so you can check in with them? Is that really how you want to spend one of your days that weekend?

3. What happens if your guests get drunk and rowdy and break a lamp (or is just a klutz and breaks something)? Or orders pay-per-view movies? Or raids the mini-bar? Or makes long distance calls? Or orders room service? That's your credit card (or whoever is paying for this) as the credit card of record that's getting charged for all these things unless they make alternative arrangements.

This just has bad idea written all over it, not to forget the earlier points that it's pretty tacky to book something and then ask people to reimburse you for it. Granted, they have other options, but still...bad bad idea.

HID14118 · September 2015

Why not offer the rooms to your vip guests and/or wedding party? Free of charge as a thank you to them? Consider the cost of the rooms as the venue price.

We rented a huge resort house for our wedding for the weekend. Ceremony and reception will be held there. It sleeps up to 20 people. We have informed our wedding party and vip oot guests that they are more then welcome to stay with us at the house for the weekend. We never thought to ask any of them to help pay for the cost. We just wanted to celebrate with everyone.

pinupbride6189 · September 2015

Our venue had a similar set up, in that our reception hall is in a 12 room lodge, so we basically had to rent out the rooms, too. We just thought it was a great opportunity to take care of our parents, WP, and officiant, so we just offered them the rooms since they were already paid for anyway. I would do something like that if you want to stay with this venue, because as PPs have pointed out, there's no nice or polite way to demand money from your guests.

MGP · September 2015

How about a cute poem?

thespeshulestsnowflake · September 2015

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Seriously, there are so many beautiful resorts in Northern Michigan and you went with this one, whichever it is? Did you look at other resorts? I know Grand Traverse, Boyne, and so many others don't do this. I agree with PP's; ask the hotel to book the rooms directly and credit you the difference, or offer the rooms to your VIP's and eat the costs.

My first thought went to Fireside Inn. But that's because I'm used to going north to the east side of the state rather than the west. Though I bet it is on the west side since it is the more touristy side in the north.

lyndausvi · September 2015

jacques27 said:

This sounds like a horrible idea. At the very least, talk to them and make arrangements for people to book with the resort and you get credited back what you paid. Or, chalk this up to a very expensive lesson if you don't want to find a new place and treat your VIPs.

1. Depending on my relationship to you, I wouldn't feel comfortable just handing over money to you. I'd rather book with my own credit card, reap the rewards of my card benefits, and know that I have protection if something goes wrong (I have to cancel, I need a late check-in, the hotel loses the reservation, a pipe bursts and floods the resort and I'm left finding somewhere else to stay, etc.)

2. Generally, most places require the person who booked the reservation and is the owner of the credit card used to be present at check-in. So are you going to check in for everyone and then chase everyone down all night to give them their room assignments? Or just hang out at the reception desk all night waiting for people to stream in so you can check in with them? Is that really how you want to spend one of your days that weekend? For most places, if it's setup as a group you do not have to have credit card holder there in order to check-in.

3. What happens if your guests get drunk and rowdy and break a lamp (or is just a klutz and breaks something)? Or orders pay-per-view movies? Or raids the mini-bar? Or makes long distance calls? Or orders room service? That's your credit card (or whoever is paying for this) as the credit card of record that's getting charged for all these things unless they make alternative arrangements. In group situations can be handled a variety of ways. One is all incidentals are on the guests. So upon check-in the front desk will require a credit card for just the extras. The room rent will be sent to the "master" account.

This just has bad idea written all over it, not to forget the earlier points that it's pretty tacky to book something and then ask people to reimburse you for it. Granted, they have other options, but still...bad bad idea.

still a bad idea, but just a little FYI on how hotels often handle group rooms.

aurianna · September 2015

MGP said:

How about a cute poem?

We found a venue that's a dream come true,
even more so, 'cuz it's paid for by you!

To get the best deal for our wedding day,
We booked lots of rooms and need you to pay.

Still, no pressure on you, for these rooms to buy,
But if you don't book them, I think we might cry!

So open your wallets and call us to pay...
Unless you want to ruin our special day!

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Seriously, there are so many beautiful resorts in Northern Michigan and you went with this one, whichever it is? Did you look at other resorts? I know Grand Traverse, Boyne, and so many others don't do this. I agree with PP's; ask the hotel to book the rooms directly and credit you the difference, or offer the rooms to your VIP's and eat the costs.

My first thought went to Fireside Inn. But that's because I'm used to going north to the east side of the state rather than the west. Though I bet it is on the west side since it is the more touristy side in the north.

The 4 hr drive made me assume Leelanau Penninsula; which is totes cray cray ridic expensive for a holiday weekend; expensive enough to call for obnoxious abbreviations. Can you imagine being told you're on the hook for a $250-$300 room, 3 nights in a row, payable to moi?!
Edited to fix letters the IPad added

YogaSandy · September 2015

Also, many guests may not want to stay at the block. I know for my cousin's OOT wedding we didn't stay at the hotel block they booked, because we knew it would be too loud and rowdy there (and it apparently was), as I was 8 months pregnant and we had a 6+ hour drive home in the morning. My dad decided the same thing and stayed at the same hotel as we did (as did one of my cousin's uncles as well).

00kim00 · September 2015

We had a similar situation. We considered the lodging our venue fee, and actually picked it in part because of that... Since pretty much everyone was traveling to it wedding, we wanted to make it as easy as possible and provide free accommodation. We gave the rooms to our families, wedding party, and everyone from out of state first, then the leftovers to anyone who wanted them. We ended up with a few empty spaces the night of the wedding, but our DJ and photographer decided to stay, too, so it worked out great

huskypuppy14 · September 2015

Knottie1441672978 said:

Hi there,
My fiance and I found a great venue in Northern Michigan and will get married there next Memorial Day weekend. It's a historic resort right on the lake. The resort includes several accommodation options, cabins and hotel rooms. To use this venue for our wedding we had to reserve a portion of the accommodations and pay for them upfront. We will have our ceremony and reception at the resort and plan to spend extra time with our guests on Sunday since it's a holiday weekend. The resort includes a beach and water toys such as kayaks and a pontoon boat. We will have the accommodations for Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.

Since we paid for the accommodations up front, we plan to ask our guest to pay us directly if they would like to stay at the resort for the weekend. The rate is comparable to other hotels in the area, which will be a 20+ minute drive from our venue. So it's really an ideal set up for guests to stay at the resort. All of our guests will be traveling at least 4 hours by car to the venue, about a third of the guests will be flying in from other states. We've only reserved space for about half our guest list, but maybe to reserve more of the resort if necessary.

I'm wondering if other's had a similar experience? Any advice in how to explain the arrangements to guests and encourage them to book with us? Since this is a destination wedding where everyone will need to make some type of accommodation plans, how early should we send out invitations and save the dates?

Thanks!

Right here, it's your venue fee. To use it, you had to buy the rooms for the weekend. Your guests should not be paying for any of your wedding.

MandyMost · September 2015

If you are willing to take on the whole cost if no one chooses to stay there, then I don't think there's a fundamental issue with you pre-paying for the rooms and then people paying you if they choose to stay there, as opposed to elsewhere. It's not required for anyone to stay there, and if no one does you're still fine with your budget.

However, there are just so many logistical issues that I don't see how this can work out:

Who is doing the room assignments, you? What if someone isn't happy with their room and wants to switch rooms? What if different people have different needs? This just sounds like a disaster to deal with.
Even if you use PayPal or something, how will you deal with refunds? What's the cancellation policy?
How will your guests know that their money guarantees them a room? What if you accidentally double-book something? What if they show up and they don't have a room for some reason? What will you do then?
Who's responsible for check-out, and making sure everything is in the condition it needs to be for check-out. You?
How are you going to give everyone their room assignments and keys?
What about "incidentals". Even if there is no room service, mini bar, or pay TV, people could break something. Who takes care of that?
Do people have to book all 3 nights? Not everyone will want to do that. You'll definitely be on the hook for the unbooked nights.

marie2785 · September 2015

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Yes, it is bad. I'm a UofM grad and would never do that. What on earth would make you think just because someone did something that was poor etiquette that they went to UofM? That's like me saying just because someone is unemployed they clearly went to State/Central/Western--it's just unnececcary snark.

Back to the OP: I'd just offer the rooms to your immediate family and the wedding party, and suck it up on the bill. If they ask the cost and insist they want to reimburse you, you can tell them. But otherwise, this was part of your venue fee. I paid for multiple rooms at my venue which I didn't use, which my venue could have rented to someone else. That's just part of renting a venue.

[Deleted User] · September 2015

STARMOON44 said:

I'd ask the resort if you can guarantee payment for the required number of rooms, but let your guests book directly through the hotel and pay the hotel, the same as they would with any hotel block. And then the hotel credits you for any rooms actually booked and paid for and you eat the cost of any extras. Assuming it's too late to just scrap the whole plan.

Another vote for this!!!! And if they don't want to refund you the money, maybe they can put it towards your reception costs. I'm assuming like most venues you have to have a head count in two weeks prior to the wedding date, by that point they should know if the amount of rooms you booked have been taken or not. The other thing that makes whole idea better is that an extra charges is then between your guests and the resort and you don't have to worry about doing room assignments and dealing with keys.

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

marie2785 said:

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Yes, it is bad. I'm a UofM grad and would never do that. What on earth would make you think just because someone did something that was poor etiquette that they went to UofM? That's like me saying just because someone is unemployed they clearly went to State/Central/Western--it's just unnececcary snark.

Back to the OP: I'd just offer the rooms to your immediate family and the wedding party, and suck it up on the bill. If they ask the cost and insist they want to reimburse you, you can tell them. But otherwise, this was part of your venue fee. I paid for multiple rooms at my venue which I didn't use, which my venue could have rented to someone else. That's just part of renting a venue.

Simmer down, I never said UM grads have poor etiquette. It was in reference to the national news coverage Tree Tops Resort and UMich's Greek Life received when some students trashed the resort during spring break last year. You know, a joke, like haha maybe the resort is charging in advance now.

I do honestly want to know which resort it is though. I love going up north and am planning another trip this winter so I'd like to know for myself where this is.

STARMOON44 · September 2015

kimmiandkoley said:

marie2785 said:

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Yes, it is bad. I'm a UofM grad and would never do that. What on earth would make you think just because someone did something that was poor etiquette that they went to UofM? That's like me saying just because someone is unemployed they clearly went to State/Central/Western--it's just unnececcary snark.

Back to the OP: I'd just offer the rooms to your immediate family and the wedding party, and suck it up on the bill. If they ask the cost and insist they want to reimburse you, you can tell them. But otherwise, this was part of your venue fee. I paid for multiple rooms at my venue which I didn't use, which my venue could have rented to someone else. That's just part of renting a venue.

Simmer down, I never said UM grads have poor etiquette. It was in reference to the national news coverage Tree Tops Resort and UMich's Greek Life received when some students trashed the resort during spring break last year. You know, a joke, like haha maybe the resort is charging in advance now.

I do honestly want to know which resort it is though. I love going up north and am planning another trip this winter so I'd like to know for myself where this is.

Wolverines are like honey badgers. We don't simmer.

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

STARMOON44 said:

Wolverines are like honey badgers. We don't simmer.

QFT! My grandpa was the oldest of 7 and went for 1 semester and had to drop out because of the depression. I was raised wearing replica 1930's football jerseys and singing along to his record of the marching band:). I would never disparage the maize and blue; was just cracking a joke is all haha.

zitiqueen · September 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

kimmiandkoley said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

Agree with PP, but what resort in northern Michigan?

Is it bad that my first thought was TreeTops and that she must be a UM grad?

Seriously, there are so many beautiful resorts in Northern Michigan and you went with this one, whichever it is? Did you look at other resorts? I know Grand Traverse, Boyne, and so many others don't do this. I agree with PP's; ask the hotel to book the rooms directly and credit you the difference, or offer the rooms to your VIP's and eat the costs.

My first thought went to Fireside Inn. But that's because I'm used to going north to the east side of the state rather than the west. Though I bet it is on the west side since it is the more touristy side in the north.

Yep, the east side is the best-kept secret in the state. Lakefront property is still affordable and the houses/cottages aren't all 15 feet apart.

How to explain to guests that they need to pay bride and groom for accomodations

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