S/O "lesser" grandparents

lyndausvi · October 2015

Looking back would you call one set "lesser" grandparents?

I did. By far we had a MUCH closer relationship to my mom's parents than my dad's dad. I often wondered if my dad's mom had lived to see us be born if that would have been different. We will never know, but later in life I felt sad that we didn't spend more time with him. He was a good man, my dad liked him. We just always seems to go to mom's side more.

I have 3 siblings, all with kids.

My sister's kids are closer to their dad's parents. That is more because the closest my parents lived to them is 3 hours away and that was just recently. But they still have a good relationship with my parents. Just a few years ago at 3pm on a Monday my nephew said to my sister "wouldn't have been nice if I watched the Chargers (his team) vs Colts (mom's) tonight with grandma". Then an hour later they were on the 3 hour trip to surprise my mom. Door bell rang, she opened it and there was my nephew in his Chargers shirt with a pizza. Mom cried.

Brother#1 kids have an equal relationship with their grandparents (both are OOT from them).

Brother#2 kids? Well it started off having a closer relationship with my SIL's family. Again, my parents were OOT and her mom lived close by. However, her mom is crazy. Like bi-polar crazy. Very manipulative. She made my SIL cry on her wedding day.

When my parents were in town the other grandma made a point being around, taking the kids away from my parents to play with them. She use to tell my parents "you might have the money, but they love me more". It was really sad. Then they moved to Croatia. My nieces and nephews would spend all summer with her for years. Only a few days at my parent's house every other summer.

These days, however they have no contact with the other grandmother. They do have contact with the grandfather. He is in his 80's and lives in Croatia so they have not seen him much. In the meantime they have become closer to my parents. Just a few months ago the 17 year old flew to the east coast and my parents took her to a bunch of colleges around PA, NY, RI and OH to look at.

What are/were your dynamics like?

jenna8984 · October 2015

I wish I had grown up closer to both sets to be honest. Both sets lived about 1.5 hours away in opposite directions and because of that we saw them about 5 times per year for major holiday/ birthday/ graduation. I have friends who had their grandparents as their main daycare/after school providers and they are so close, I wish I had that. Unfortunately my kids won't have that either since my parents live 1800 miles away.

That is fucked up and sad of your SIL's parents.

banana468 · October 2015

We tried to be pretty equal with both. My paternal grandfather passed when I was little and my brother never met him. My dad's mom wasn't the touchy feely grandmother but we still had a good amount of quality time with her. She had a pretty debilitating stroke when I was in middle school and that made visits with her harder. When we'd get sick, one grandparent would watch us and that started to be my maternal grandmother over the one who had mobility issues.

lyndausvi · October 2015

jenna8984 said:

I wish I had grown up closer to both sets to be honest. Both sets lived about 1.5 hours away in opposite directions and because of that we saw them about 5 times per year for major holiday/ birthday/ graduation. I have friends who had their grandparents as their main daycare/after school providers and they are so close, I wish I had that. Unfortunately my kids won't have that either since my parents live 1800 miles away.
That is fucked up and sad of your SIL's parents.

yeah. it is. But it does explain a lot on why my brother and wife act they way they do. The mom was so manipulative they just gave in all the time because it was the the lesser of 2 evils. It took a good 8 years after she moved for them to really get how toxic the mom really was and finally cut ties.

kvruns · October 2015

Yea I was much closer to my maternal grandparents than paternal, although really I didn't develop any "closeness" until the last 10 years or so and that is with my maternal grandmother. My dad's died before I was born and his parents were living in AZ (we are in IN) so we only saw his mom a few times when she would come visit or we went out there once. She also developed alzheimers (sp?) when I was in MS or HS so there was no more traveling after that. My mom's parents lived about 1.5 hours away so we saw them every few months I think until they moved to FL full time when I was in middle school then it was just a few visits. When my dad's mom died I didn't really feel a huge loss since I didn't know her that well but I know I will hurt a lot when either maternal grandparent dies (both are 88 this year).

If we have kids mine will be primary because my parents are here in IN and H's dad/stepmom are in CA. Interestingly, for my neice, my parents are the primary by far and have her once a week and go watch her events etc whereas SIL's parents (who also live just as close) rarely see her and don't ever go to her events or ask to take her to stuff so I think she will see my parents as "primary" and her maternal grandparents as "secondary" even though distance isn't an issue.

thisismynickname2 · October 2015

All my grandparents but one died before I was born, so I only ever knew my mom's father. He lived in another country so......

DH was raised early on by one of his grandparents basically while his parents worked several jobs, but he also lost his grandparents fairly early on then as well.

When/If we have a child, we want both sets of our parents to be very involved however they can be. Both sets live within an hour, hour and a half of us right now.

I think a dynamic has to do with two things- availability and general personality. For example, one of my closest friends with two toddlers can't stand her in-laws. Couldn't stand them before kids, can't stand them after kids. The FIL isn't mentally well either, so she certainly doesn't trust them to exclusively watch her children. She was thrilled to move several states away from them and closer to her parents. Her parents are definitely the favored grandparents (and yes her husband is in agreement). Another friend I believe favors her in-laws. She doesn't inherently trust her mother with her child and she is estranged from her dad so...

luckya23 · October 2015

We stayed with my mother's parents (and my great grandmother mostly, who lived there, as they were still working when I was a kid) when we were little and/or sick. When I was very young, I preferred great grandma to my parents and she would have to hide so I would go with my mom!!

My dad's mother was pretty kooky, and rarely left the house / practically bedridden (maybe by choice? She was only in her 40s at the time). She vastly preferred me over my younger sister and that did not fly with my mother, so we only went a couple times a year.

DH is closer to his father's family, though. That seems weird to me! He thinks his parents would be the favorite grandparents, but considering I don't much care for them, I doubt that!

thefanciestbeckler · October 2015

We were much closer to my mom's side of the family growing up. My father was never very close to his family, though, so I think that had a lot to do with it. More recently I'm developing closer relationships with his side, but after 26+ years of not being close I understand it will take some time.

All of H's grandparents have long passed away. The closest thing he has to grandparents (an elderly aunt and uncle) live 10 hours away.

My parents divorced a couple of years ago. My mom has not remarried and my father and I are not on speaking terms. When H and I have kids they will only have 1 grandparent! Kinda sad.

ohmrs2014 · October 2015

I have only one memory of my paternal grandfather. He passed when I was 2 1/2 and my sister just 3 months old. My paternal grandmother lived about 2 1/2 hours from us so we didn't see her that often, mainly in the summer and on whatever holidays we didn't see my maternal grandparents. I became closer to my paternal grandmother later in life when she moved in with my uncle because of her health.

I had a close relationship with my maternal grandfather (didn't like my maternal step-grandmother, that's a story for another day). Never met my maternal grandmother, she passed when my mother was 9. We don't have a relationship with her at all right now, not since my maternal grandfather passed away about 11 years ago.

MairePoppy · October 2015

My brother and I were very close to my paternal grandparents. I was their first grandchild. As a teen, my grandmother was my best friend. My father had a brother, who also had a daughter and son. They were just as close with my paternal grandparents and we cousins were like siblings.

My maternal grandparents passed away when I was too young to remember them. They had 11 kids. My mom and her siblings were always arguing about one thing or another. As a result, I don't really know those cousins. I don't even know how many there are. I know one uncle had 15 kids. Yikes!

My own kids love both sets of grandparents, but are closer to my parents. My parents were always hands on and very involved in my kids lives. They could be overly involved, sometimes, but they love my kids as much as we do. My MIL showed a preference for her daughters' kids. She was their only living grandparent so she indulged them more than my kids and she was obvious about it. She was critical of my child rearing methods, so I didn't mind that she didn't spend a lot of time with the kids.

Maggie0829 · October 2015

Well my Dad didn't have the best relationship with his parents. His bio Dad gave him and his brother up for adoption when my Dad was about 9. His Mom left "on a trip" and then came back married to a new man, who then adopted my Dad and his brother (which I will admit was very nice of him because he certainly did not have to do that). And then when my Dad's Mom was in her mid 40's she thought she was going through menopause only to find out she was pregnant. That kid (I refuse to think of him as my Uncle) was horrible. He grew up to basically take all of my Grandparents money to the point that they were in significant credit card debt and had hardly any retirement savings left. So this left my Dad and his brother to pick up the pieces while their parents were still sending the other kid money. So needless to say my Dad's relationship with his parents definitely factored into how close my sister and I were to them. They were also never around. They felt like they couldn't "compete" with my Mom's parents, which is ridiculous. They just never tried to be a part of my sister and I's life. And once we became adults we just didn't want anything to do with them. They were basically strangers to us.

We were very close to my Mom's parents/family in general. We all actually lived together for quite some time. Sadly my Pop passed when I was 10 and my Nan passed when I was in my early 20's. For some reason, I feel, the favorites tend to go first, which just stinks.

Yesterday I found out that my Grammy (Dad's Mom) went to the hospital. She is 93. And part of me feels bad that I really have no feelings on her passing (if she does pass). But I do feel for my Dad because regardless of the relationship he has had with her, it is still his Mom and I am sure it is hard on him to see her decrease in health.

ShesSoCold · October 2015

We were much closer to my mom's parents. My mom was a single mom for most of my childhood and had some issues. Her parents helped A LOT. My dad's mom said this to my mom when she was pregnant with her first kid - "I raised my kids, you raise yours", meaning that she didn't want to be too involved. Which is fine.

Before she passed, my mom had one grandchild from my brother and his wife. She knew she was secondary to the other grandma and it didn't bother her. She had her babysitting days and enjoyed them. She really tried not to be pushy and keep the peace even though my SIL is a total ass.

cupcait927 · October 2015

Both of my dad's parents had passed away before I was born so by default, I only ever saw my maternal grandparents. As for H, from what he's told me, it was pretty equal between his maternal and paternal grandparents. He grew up living next door to his paternal grandma and she babysat him and his sister pretty frequently, but a lot of holidays and birthdays were spent with his maternal grandparents and that side of the family. Unfortunately, both of my MIL's parents passed away before H was 10 (I believe) so then it was just his paternal grandma.

My sister has one child, and my nephew spends far more time with his paternal grandma than with my mom. This is vastly due to convenience, and shared custody between my sister and her ex-boyfriend. My sister's ex pretty much dumps my nephew off at his (ex-boyfriend's) mom's house so nephew spend a lot of time with that grandma. My mom tries to see him at least once a week but I do know that she wishes she got more time with him, and definitely used to feel like the "lesser" grandma, even though it was never done intentionally. My dad never gets to see my nephew because my sister has cut all ties with him. I'm also estranged from my sister so I haven't seen my nephew in close to a year. My mom only maintains a relationship with my sister in order to see her grandson and make sure he's okay and taken care of (my sister has some pretty serious mental and emotional issues).

Cookie Pusher · October 2015

I have 5 sets of grandparents. One set in Hong Kong that I was not close to, one set in China that I never met, one set in Taiwan that I never met, one set here that I was close to until a little over a decade ago, and one set that I lived with growing up. None of my parents purposely tried to keep us away from their parents. Our relationships were a matter of circumstance (hard to be close to folks you couldn't afford to go see - this was in the days before internet so no Skype and phone calls were very pricey, and that's besides the 12-13 hour time difference). The grandparents I lived with kept the same home until I was 18, and my mom still lives in the same house she moved into after she got married so it's not like relatives didn't know where we were or how to reach us. Many of them just chose not to.

julieanne912 · October 2015

As a kid I was much closer to my dad's mother, because she was local. His dad passed away well before I was born. My mom's parents lived 6 hours away so while we'd go visit them a few times a year, it wasn't like having a local grandma. My dad's mother would come to church with us every Sunday (we picked her up), and she would stay overnight at our house on Christmas. She would also watch me when I was off school.

However, she passed away when I was 13, so that was the end of that.

I also always felt like second best with my mom's parents. My mom's brother lived local to them, and so his kids spent a lot of time with my grandparents. But even when we would come to visit, they would change their plans around with us to accomodate Joe's kids. But still, when we became adults and my grandparents became ill, I was one of the only grandkids to come (even when I lived in another state) help them out. My other cousins who were local might come for a visit here and there but didn't really help much. But yet, even after that, my grandma especially favored them... even helped one cousin pay for her schooling after she flunked out of law school, etc.

But, to be fair, my dad's mother only had 5 grandkids, and there were 10+ years between my cousins and my brother and I... so they were teenagers/adults when we were kids, so we felt like the only grandkids. On my mom's side, I'm one of 13.

As for us, my mom lives a plane flight away, and H's parents are about 5 hours away. This grandkid will likely be my mom's only one though, and they want to move here to retire. H's dad LOVES to spend money on his nephews so we'll see how it goes with our kid.

OliveOilsMom · October 2015

It was pretty equal, but I guess we were closer to my maternal grandparents by default since they hosted a Sunday dinner every week. Sunday dinners were close to 20 people most of the time! So we more regularly saw my mom's parents, but all holidays were spent with my paternal grandparents.

Both grandparents lived within 30 minutes to our house, so distance wasn't really a factor. Once we were older, we started staying over at my paternal grandparents house on weekends. It became a yearly tradition that my sister and I would stay over sometime after Thanksgiving. We would go shopping at the mall in Philly for the outfit that my grandparents would gift us at Christmas. My grandma would also take us to the different sights at what was once the Wanamaker's after shopping.

I have fond memories of doing things with both set of grandparents, so I would say overall the times we spent with both sets of grandparents equaled out, even though we saw my mom's parents every week.

emmaaa · October 2015

That is hard.

I grew up knowing my Mommaw (Mom's mom) my whole life. He ex-husband was not in my life until he died when I was in the fourth grade. My Mommaw only lived 45 minutes away but we still only saw her probably 4 or 5 times a year.

My dad's parents had both died by the time I was born. However, we have always been much closer to his side of the family and his sisters and their husbands were like surrogate grandparents to us in a way.

ETA: Neither my brothers, DH's sister, or us have kids yet so I'm not sure how that dynamic will be.

madamerwin · October 2015

It was pretty equal for us, though we weren't super close to either set. My dad's parents lived across the country when we were kids, and they came to visit once or twice a year. They eventually moved close after my grandpa had a few strokes, and after he died (when I was a senior in high school), I would go visit my grandma about once a month. She was an awesome lady - she became an Obama-loving democrat at age 90, loved to cook, and had a very dry sense of humor.

Similar story with my mom's parents. We would go visit them a few times a year, and I remember staying with them by myself as a kid a few times, which was fun. My grandma was always very nice to me, but she was generally a very bitter, unhappy person. After she died, I realized what a wonderful, sweet, funny man my grandpa was, and I made greater effort to see and talk to him. He had always been very quiet when I was a kid, but I grew up to realize that he just didn't really know how to deal with kids.

So, I guess you could say do I have favorite grandparents - my dad's mom and my mom's dad. Both of them died a couple of months apart earlier this year, which was pretty tough, but they both lived very long lives.

AprilH81 · October 2015

Both sets of grandparents were pretty shitty, but we were closer to my maternal grandparents. This is only because my Mom is the glue that holds her dysfunctional family together and she tries really hard to lead by example.

My paternal grandmother made my Dad the black sheep of the family so while they lived in the same town we might see them once a year (if that). In recent years the fences have been mended but it isn't the same.

l9i · October 2015

For me I never knew my maternal grandfather, but I would say I was closer with my maternal grandmother than my paternal grandparents. My paternal grandparents are closer in distance (40 min compared with 4 hours), but my dad has a large family and there I was one of twentysome grandkids. Also, most of the other grandkids were local so I always felt slightly that they got more attention (because naturally they did being close). My maternal grandmother however, only had us as grandkids so she spoiled us. Getting to see her was much more special and I always felt closer to her.

For my DH it's easy, his maternal grandparents are toxic and not in his life so he was closer to his paternal grandparents by default.

I always wonder what it will be like for our kids. We live in the same area as both of our parents so I know they will get to see both frequently. However, my family has it's craziness and can be too overbearing while DH's parents respect our space so much that sometimes we have to convince them it's ok to visit frequently or call, etc. Two extremes. It will be interesting for sure.

labro · October 2015

I don't think we did. My dad was in the military so we lived all over the place growing up and never close to any family at all so I'd say my relationship with my dad's parents and my mom's mom (my grandpa passed before I was born) were both equally close and loving. Both my parents have/had a great relationship with their parents and siblings though so I don't know if that made a difference.

I think if H and I stay where we are now then it will definitely be different. My parents live 20 minutes down the road, while his parents are 12 hours away, so obviously any child would grow up spending significantly more time with my parents than his, but we'd still try to nurture a close relationship with both sets.

thespeshulestsnowflake · October 2015

I don't think I would say either set of grandparents were "lesser." It is just an odd family dynamic.

My dad's parents lived in the same city I grew up in for a while. My dad's mother passed away when I was around 1 YO, but I was over there a lot because she had brain cancer and being around her grandkids made her happier. Plus, I think it was around the time my mom had cancer for the first time and they helped my parents with watching me. After my paternal grandmother passed away, my grandfather remarried and moved down to Baton Rouge. We would call him often and make a week long trip down to see him once a year (either mid-winter break or spring break). There was also a two week period once a year, where my dad's side of the family would go up north to this inn his family has been going to over 50 years. So I saw him then as well.

My mom's parents always lived in the small town in Indiana that my mom grew up in, and it is about 4-5 hours away from here. My maternal grandfather passed away on Thanksgiving when I was 5, so we always go down there for Thanksgiving to see my grandmother. It is a non-negotiable thing in our family. We also go down around Christmas and most Memorial Day weekends. We talk to my grandmother often too. Also, because of where she is, if we are making long roadtrips south, we usually stay at her house overnight.

When my brother and I were young, it feels like it was balanced. In the years around my brother being born (from when I was in Kindergarten to around 2nd grade), my parents both had cancer, so both sets of grandparents would be up visiting/watching us. So they all got to know each other pretty well. A few times when we went down to visit my grandfather, my grandmother would go along with us.

PandaNikki · October 2015

I grew up living 10 minutes away from both sets of grandparents. On the maternal side, I spent a lot of time with them because my mom is very close to her mom, and it was a different dynamic because I have an uncle who is only 11 years older than me so they were still raising him when I was born. My maternal grandmother was my confirmation sponsor, I was definitely close to her growing up.

On my dad's side, my grandparents were quite a bit older than the ones on my mom's side, but I saw them a lot as well. As a little kid they would bring us food shopping with them, and my grandfather came over every day for as long as he could drive. They babysat us, took us for sleepovers, etc.

Both of my grandfathers passed away somewhat recently (maternal Oct 2012, paternal February 2014), even though my paternal grandfather was 19 years older than my maternal grandfather. It was really tough losing them, but I had a long time with them- I feel for my little cousins who will just about remember their grandpa.

For DH and me, we now live 1 1/2hrs from my family and 3 1/2 hrs from his family, though I have a feeling when we have kids his parents will take the time to come and visit us more than my parents will. As it is, while I try and visit my family once a month, they have only come up to me once a year. I can already see that my nephews are going to be much closer to my parents than my kids just because my sister lives in the same city.

redwoodoriginal · October 2015

my paternal gparents died long before I was even a possibility, so there's that. My maternal gparents lived in another country, but my parents sent my sister and I every summer there and we lived there all summer. when we were really little my mom would come with us but once I turned 7 it was just my sister and I going (it was our version of summer camp). my maternal gpa died when i was about 7, so i have a few fuzzy memories of him. my maternal gma died when I was 18 and it was devastating. We were close, but it was hard bc I only saw her once a year growing up, but for like 2-3months at a time, she took care of us with my aunts helping, and she only spoke spanish, and as I got older my spanish speaking skills went downhill and it was harder to express myself. But we were close and I loved her so much and i miss her every day.

interestingly enough, even though we don't have kids yet, MIL has already expressed multiple times that she's scared she's going to be the "other" gma when we have kids. and not because we live near my parents - we actually live closer to her than them, but b/c she's Jewish and clearly that means that she's an other. i can't even wrap my head around it - all i can do is feel insulted that she would think I would separate her out like that. (for the record, im a lapsed-catholic, H is a lapsed-Jew, we are NOT religious, but i am the one who will order synagogue tickets for us for the high holidays, i'm the one who makes his gma's brisket and noodle keugel, i'm the one who pulls out the menorah for hannakuh, i'm the one who gets the apples and honey for rosh hashanah, etc)

Since she has stated that, and other things related to how we will raise our kids - including saying to my H "when it comes time for kids, remember where you came from", I think she's doing a self-fulfilling prophecy of not being close to the kids. But that's mainly because we are distancing ourselves from her bc of what she is saying to us NOW / at/after the wedding. But, you know, it's clearly going to be my fault if she's not close to the kids because "she's Jewish". I don't even get it. ugh. / sorry mini rant.

anjemon · October 2015

We definitely are closer to my maternal grandparents, but that was largely because of circumstance. I grew up in the same town as my Mom's parents, they came to a lot of our stuff and we went there for sleepovers sometimes. Grandma was also often a backup ride home and I stayed with them when my parents were out of town.

My paternal grandma died when I was really young. Paternal grandpa had a house in my hometown, but he worked all week in the big city and had an apartment there. He also wasn't really big on family get-togethers. So I was closer to my Mom's parents. Although it's strange, because I usually feel closer to my extended family on my Dad's side where I had cousins my age.

It'll be interesting what happens when H and I have kids. My parents live 2 hours away, but they are really involved with my niece and nephews and they make a big effort to come and visit. H's parents live in a close suburb so they will be much easier to go to in an emergency or for babysitting duty. But I'm a little nervous about leaving the hypothetical kid with them, I know they will keep the kid safe, but they weren't that nurturing with H and they are a little dysfunctional. So we'll see if any of that ends up making a difference in who we're closer with. Sometimes they don't talk to H and I for a while and we don't see them even though they're close. But a baby might change that too.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Closer to my mom's parents that my dads. Maternal GPs lived a few towns over and were our "daycare" for a while until we started school and even then we were at their house at least once a week.

My dad's parents lived in Cali; we were in IL. Grandma died when I was 4-5 and I don't really remember her. After that Grandpa came to live with us for about a year before he was hospitalized. He was old and made jokes I was too young to get and he smoked and I hated that. So when he passed I can't say I was all that sad.

I was devastated when my mom's parents died in a car accident on the day I came home from my 8th grade trip to DC. My aunt lived down the street and we were at her house waiting for them to come home to share pictures when the hospital called. They were DOA and couldn't be revived so I never really got to say goodbye.

Hundreds of people showed up for their funeral. Most local but family from far away came too...

AddieCake · October 2015

I had "lesser" grandparents. My mother's mother was very formal, very etiquette savvy, and rather cold. Her husband wasn't, but they were a package deal. Their children even called them "Mother" and "Dad," which, to me, is very telling of the difference between them. Their house was very formal, lots of glass, not "kid friendly," and going to visit them meant sitting politely in the living room and "visiting." They lived several hours away, so I seldom saw them, and I did not enjoy it when I did. As an adult, I really did enjoy seeing them, though. It was just different. My dad's parents were far more fun.

TheCheeseWench · October 2015

I only had one set. My father's parents both died young, and my father was 48 when I was born so they were long gone. I spent tons of time with Mother's parents. G-mo Wench is now 91 and lives with my Mother. She was in the hospital with pneumonia for the 2 past weeks, but she attended our wedding on Thursday via Skype

DarthV8r · October 2015

I lived with my maternal grandparents and was basically raised by them. I love my Paternal Grandmother but when my dad was alive they had a toxic realtionship. I saw her pretty regularly until I was 20. Then she cut my Dad out of her life so it was awkward for me. We reconnected again after my dad passed away. I talk to her twice a week and go over for birthdays and holidays.
My children are close with my mom and F.I.'s dad. So it's even. For our children. However I'm the only one with grandparents alive so my children are close to all 3 of their great grand parents.

charlotte989875 · October 2015

I feel really lucky, I was close with both sets of grandparents, they lived within 10 miles of us (only about 2 miles from each other). My maternal grandmother babysat brother and I so she would have to discipline us and when we were little we liked going to paternal grandparents more (not a lot of discipline there). But as we got older both brother and I really appreciated all of them. They've all since passed and I miss them.

When H and I have kids well likely be closer to his parents. My parents have a lot of issues they refuse to work on and it's a stressful relationship for me. His parents are kind, patient, and loving, with like no drama ever.

wandajune6 · October 2015

I never knew my paternal grandparents. My dad's dad died before I was born and he was never close to his mom. She passed when I was 19 after years of Alzheimer's. She lived a 2 day drive away and never left TX (she literally never left the state) so there wasn't much of a relationship.

I was very close to my maternal grandmother. Now that she's got dementia, the relationship has changed but we're still close in our own way. My grandparents divorced and my grandfather remarried immediately, 30 years ago. His second wife kept him away from the family and, now that she's gone, he's made an effort to be involved again. It hasn't worked well.

Since I'm down to 1 active grandparent, my great aunt and uncle (maternal gramma's sister and BIL) filled in. She passed in 2001 and he passed 2 years ago. Both are missed horribly. When my great-aunt passed, my great uncle remarried a wonderful woman who is still a welcome part of the family, though not really a grandmother type.

DH's grandparents are all in Mexico and he doesn't really know them. Were equally close to both his mom and my parents so any kids will be too. (Hell, even The Kid loves hanging out with my family!)

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