S/O "lesser" grandparents

Re: S/O "lesser" grandparents

• doeydo member

  

  October 2015 edited October 2015

  I felt much closer to my mom's parents than my dad's mom (my grandpa on that side passed away before I was around).  I spent time with both sets of grandparents, though part of the year my mom's grandparents stayed in an apartment in our city whereas my other grandma lived a few hours away (which was where my mom's grandparents' had a cottage where they stayed another part of the year, as well) so I guess we did see them a little more often.  But, they were much more active and "kid friendly" than my other grandma, so I think that had a lot to do with it, too.

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• lightningsnow member

  

  October 2015

  Both of my grandfathers passed away before I was born. My maternal grandfather passed away when my mother was 15 and she didn't have the greatest relationship with him the first place and I'm not really sure when exactly my paternal grandfather passed away other than that it was before I was born.

  
  

  I was always closer to my mother's family growing up mainly because I saw them more often than my dad's family. I was much closer to my maternal grandmother. Most of my fondest memories are with her. Unfortunately she passed away when I was 8.

  
  

  My paternal grandmother passed when I was 11. She had Alzheimer's and watching her suffer was confusing at a young age. I was sad when she passed but not the same as when my maternal grandmother passed.

  
  

  My mother has a better relationship with my niece and nephews than their maternal grandmothers but I think it's only because my brother and SIL live with them.

  Formerly known as bubbles053009
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2015

  For my niece and nephew, my SIL's parents are probably the "favored" grandparents. It happened that way because although they all used to live in Houston where my parents still live, her parents had moved to SoCal sometime after my brother and SIL were married and then put pressure on them to join them in SoCal when my SIL was pregnant with my niece, which they did. But had my brother and SIL stayed in Houston, my parents would probably have become the "favored" grandparents unless her parents had also stayed here (they still have family here and the two families are quite close).

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• lovemesomemonster member

  

  October 2015

  I enjoy hearing different family dynamics, every one is so different!

  
  

  My dad's dad passed before I was born and his mom who I am named after passed when I was 3. Mom's parents lived about a 5 minute drive from us and we did weekly dinners and all holidays with them so we were very close, nana passed when I was 16 and grandpa is about to celebrate his 95th birthday! He lives with mom and I love getting to spend time with him when I can make it home. 

  
  

  FI basically grew up with his dad's parents, they still look at him as the golden child and I call her on a weekly basis to catch up on what's going on in the family. His mom's parents are fantastic as well, he was just never quite as close with them but still close, his grandpa passed a year ago and his grandma isn't the talk on the phone type but I love seeing her when we are down there. 

  
  

  I am almost as close with his parents as I am my own and want our kids some day to be just as involved with both because they are all great people and just love kids. I got lucky on both sides with amazing families! 

  
  

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• VicTim328 member

  

  October 2015

  We had "lesser" grandparents growing up.  We grew up within walking distance of both sets of grandparents, but my paternal side prioritized boys, so my brother was the favorite.  They would take him to do all sorts of things, but left my sisters and I at home.  By the time I had graduated high school, I had gone to one of my cousin's musicals with both grandparents and out to dinner once with my grandma.  That was it for alone time with them.  My maternal side prioritized the 3 girls because we were "neglected" as far as she was concerned.
  
  Both sets were always around and took care of us on a day to day basis, but we definitely had our preference.  Now that most of the cousins are grown/ don't live nearby anymore, my paternal grandmother and I have a closer relationship.  My brother lives with her, and it works because she lives on a non-operating farm that needs help with general maintenance, and he is very close to his school.  She's outlived her siblings, husband, and most of her friends, so having him there gives her a reason to get up and move.
  
  FI's paternal grandparents passed before he was 5, and he grew up down the street from his mom's parents.  They are still very active in his life, even if we do live 5 hours away.
  
  When we have kids, my mom and step-dad will probably be the preferred grandparents.  We all live and work in the same county.  His mom passed several years ago, and his dad relishes his almost complete bachelorhood (youngest sister is still in high school).  He keeps talking about moving to the west coast, so I think just logistically he would need to make a huge effort to be considered equal.
  

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• FrankensteinBride member

  

  October 2015

  I never considered them "lesser" grandparents, we spoke on the phone, got birthday gifts etc, but my fathers parents lived in florida until their deaths. We only met them a few times but we loved them just the same.

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