Guest List Crisis

Re: Guest List Crisis

• zitiqueen member

  

  October 2015

  You say that none of your co-workers have bothered to stay in touch with you.

  
  

  Have you attempted to stay in touch with them since you left?

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  October 2015

  zitiqueen said:

  You say that none of your co-workers have bothered to stay in touch with you.

  
  

  Have you attempted to stay in touch with them since you left?

  Clearly if one does not RSVP, then they need to be shunned until they contact her.  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  But really, they are rude for not RSVPing, however it's not a capital offense that should be relationship ending.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• peachy13 member

  

  October 2015

  This whole thing is so confusing and strange and thank you to PPs who quoted.

  
  

  OP -- I wish you would have just left your original post instead of editing it away (we can still see your original post, so your efforts were futile). But this topic is a good one for lurkers. I'm sure it varies from job to job, but I think a good rule of thumb regarding the do I/don't I invite co-workers issue is to wait. Don't send save the dates to them a year in advance. You don't know if your co-worker (or in OP's case, you yourself) will leave your job before your wedding. So wait. Things change. I knew I wanted to invite my 7 co-workers to my wedding but I waited until it was time to send out the actual invitations.

  
  
  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2015

  Although it was rude for your guests to not reply, it would also have been appropriate for your bridesmaids to contact these coworkers who didn't respond by the RSVP date and ask if they are coming. Yeah, this shower business is odd.

  
  

  But good lessons to learn: If you send a STD you must send an invitation. Thus, STDs are best used for VIPs.

  
  

  Hold off on inviting co-workers until you  are ready to send your invitations. Or, treat coworkers like your friends- are you inviting them *because* they are a coworker and you feel you should, or are you inviting them because they are also your friend? In the former, wait and maybe consider inviting them at all, in the later, they should be invited regardless, like the rest of your friends. 

  
  

  But OP, as you committed to sending them a STD AND inviting them to your wedding shower, you have committed to a wedding invitation. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  October 2015

  I think I get it.  The co-workers didn't respond to her shower invitation, so they weren't bringing her GIFTS!  How awful!  So, since they didn't give her any GIFTS, why bother inviting them to the wedding, where they would provide more GIFTS?  Only people who give GIFTS get to come to her wedding!
  
  Unbelievable!
  

  

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• aurianna member

  

  October 2015

  peachy13 said:

  This whole thing is so confusing and strange and thank you to PPs who quoted.

  
  

  OP -- I wish you would have just left your original post instead of editing it away (we can still see your original post, so your efforts were futile). But this topic is a good one for lurkers. I'm sure it varies from job to job, but I think a good rule of thumb regarding the do I/don't I invite co-workers issue is to wait. Don't send save the dates to them a year in advance. You don't know if your co-worker (or in OP's case, you yourself) will leave your job before your wedding. So wait. Things change. I knew I wanted to invite my 7 co-workers to my wedding but I waited until it was time to send out the actual invitations.

  
  That.
  
  Despite working in a fairly large office, I only invited two co-workers to the shower my bridesmaid threw. One I was so close to she was another bridesmaid, and the other was an older lady I sat with with whom I was close.
  I think of a shower as an event you invite family and people you are closer to. A co-worker I maybe talk to at the water cooler three or four times a week is not someone I'd invite to a "Hey! Bring me a present and gush all over me!" party, which showers tend to be.
  
  
  OPs guests should have RSVPd to the shower invites, but the cynical part of me wonders if these people got an invitation to give a gift to a girl they didn't even know that well who left their company and just laughed...
  Sorry. I'm a bitter person!
  

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• redoryx member

  

  October 2015

  aurianna said:

  peachy13 said:

  This whole thing is so confusing and strange and thank you to PPs who quoted.

  
  

  OP -- I wish you would have just left your original post instead of editing it away (we can still see your original post, so your efforts were futile). But this topic is a good one for lurkers. I'm sure it varies from job to job, but I think a good rule of thumb regarding the do I/don't I invite co-workers issue is to wait. Don't send save the dates to them a year in advance. You don't know if your co-worker (or in OP's case, you yourself) will leave your job before your wedding. So wait. Things change. I knew I wanted to invite my 7 co-workers to my wedding but I waited until it was time to send out the actual invitations.

  
  That.
  
  Despite working in a fairly large office, I only invited two co-workers to the shower my bridesmaid threw. One I was so close to she was another bridesmaid, and the other was an older lady I sat with with whom I was close.
  I think of a shower as an event you invite family and people you are closer to. A co-worker I maybe talk to at the water cooler three or four times a week is not someone I'd invite to a "Hey! Bring me a present and gush all over me!" party, which showers tend to be.
  
  
  OPs guests should have RSVPd to the shower invites, but the cynical part of me wonders if these people got an invitation to give a gift to a girl they didn't even know that well who left their company and just laughed...
  Sorry. I'm a bitter person!
  

  
  

  I'm bitter right there with you. I understand it's going to depend entirely on the company and your relationship with co-workers but inviting 30 co-workers seems a little gift grabby. 

  

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