Am I overreacting?

ShesSoCold · October 2015

scribe95 said:

Very true. But people side eye things on this website all the time that aren't technically against etiquette. I'm just saying I would side eye it. Partly due to the actual item but also due to large price tag. I have never anything in the multiple thousands on any registry.

I agree. In my circle, a $4,000 TV would be ridiculous and I would side eye it. Would I talk shit about it or hold it against the couple like I would a dollar dance or cash bar? No, but I would roll my eyes.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

thisismynickname said:

I think OP needs to talk this through with her fiance and he needs to see how uncomfortable she is with it, bottom line.

Frankly, I'd side-eye it. You can get a perfectly good TV for less than $1000. $4k is totally obscene. If my future husband wanted it that much and wanted to use the completion discount, in all honesty, I'd put a friggin' disclaimer on my wedding website like "The TV is only on there so we can get a completion discount!"

This is what I think as well. It's not that there's a TV on the registry that is my problem. It's that it's a TV that costs $4,000 that the groom thinks is a funny funny joke. Now, if the couple had a $1,500 super hi-def TV on their registry, I might side-eye for a second, but if I knew that they were gamers or super into sports or really like to watch movies at home, I'd get over that in a split second. I think my biggest problem with the OP's situation is that her FH thinks it's a funny joke. Dude, pick a TV you actually want and we can put THAT on the registry. We're not going to put on the registry something you have zero intention to ever buy.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Are you over reacting? I guess that depends what you're reacting to. Are you worried people will judge you? Are you upset that your FI isn't listening to your concerns? Do you actually not want the TV?

Would I side eye it? No, I would ignore it. Maybe it warrants one secret eye roll, but it wouldn't impact our friendship, or whatever relationship I have with you.

I get upset with FI over little things, and then more upset when he doesn't listen to what initially made me upset (or he interrupts while I'm trying to explain). I would take a day or two to figure out your feelings, and bring it up when there's time to discuss it calmly. Use lots of "I" phrases. "I feel it won't be seen as funny" "I'm concerned people will find us greedy"

Are you upset because you don't want this TV? Yeah, I'd be really unhappy to have a 4K TV I didn't want. Likely no one will get it, but there's an off chance that multiple people will pitch in, and that's a pretty expensive joke at that point. If he wants a joke gift, think of something that won't put people out hundreds or thousands.

ETA I'm totally lost on how this is even a joke. Is it an inside joke with a friend of his? A wedding registry is an odd place for an inside joke. Seriously, what is the joke?

redwoodoriginal · October 2015

If you hate the idea of it on there, and he wants it for the completion discount, why don't you compromise? Take it off the registry for now, and put it back on the registry after the wedding before you go into the store for the completion discount purchases? That's what we did with a few high end $$ things that we didn't feel comfortable putting on the registry. We still got the discount even though the item had been added later on....

Would I side eye it as a guest? Yeah but I'd move on. Would I cry about it if I were you? Absolutely not. I'd cringe and talk it out.

themosthappy91 · October 2015

scribe95 said:
I admit my logical fallacy (is that how you spell that) but for some reason I personally find a $4,000 TV to be in poor taste on a registry. Apparently so does OP and several others who told her to take it off.

I'm confused- originally you said you don't agree with putting entertainment items on the registry but now it seems like your qualm is with the price and not the nature of the item. The only reason I press the point is because you were specifically responding to someone in this thread asking if it's inappropriate to register for entertainment items, which is a different issue than if it's inappropriate to register for a $4,000 TV. Do I you also side-eye board games, a croquet set, a portable DVD player etc.? Would you not side-eye a $4000 item that was more home goods-oriented?

QueenOfGlitz · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

Knottie1428889205 said:

Myself and my future husband are starting to put together our wedding registry. For the most part, we both agree what should go on it, and we are adding things that will hit different budgets (large and small). However, he also added a $4000 television and said it would be a funny joke and no one would take it seriously! I feel that there are people who are going to take this seriously and it will make us look bad!!

He thinks this is so funny for some reason, but I am so stressed over what people will think that I am almost in tears. I know its going to lead to a stupid argument when I ask him if I can remove it from the registry. Any advice on how to approach this?

Pick your battles. This isn't one of them.

^^^ Agreed.

(Happy Birthday, Snoop-Man!)

VicTim328 · October 2015

Is your FI one of those who watches the registry all the time? If so, I would pick my battles and leave it be, provided you plan to purchase it with the completion discount.

If you do not plan on purchasing it, I would just delete it. If he is not the type that watches the registry, you could also delete it, but only after discussing it with him again.

When are you getting married? If it is still a solid 6+ months out, chances are, the TV could be discontinued for the newer model. There's a reason Black Friday exists for techie type gifts. They are making room for the new merchandise. Also, keep in mind that some retailers may remove items from a registry that are on sale/clearance.

lnixon8 · October 2015

What happens if either of your grandparents, aunts and uncles all get together and buy the $4000 tv you don't actually want/need? If I registered for something like that, my grandmother would be looking for it next time she came over. Or you would return it for what... $4000 to best buy?

I would prefer to have cash than "tell" the funniest joke ever on my registry.

onefootinthebayou · October 2015

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

onefootinthebayou said:

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

I figured it was a 4K TV that also costs $4000. The ones DH and I have been eyeing up are around $3000. It all depends on the brand, whether or not you catch a good sale, etc.

dramamonkey · October 2015

So I might suggest that if he really wants it on there, and you want to use the completion discount on it, just add it a day or two before the wedding. At that point, most people would have bought their gifts (or at least decided what to get you), and will never see it...

I added a few things the few days before our wedding, just for the discount, but nothing I expected anyone else to buy for us.

mollybarker11 · October 2015

If I weren't a Knot user I wouldn't think it was just on there for the completion discount. Registries aren't common in my area, and I'm guessing anyone who hasn't spent a lot of time discussing weddings or baby showers wouldn't know that's a thing.

I also wouldn't think it was a joke item. A television isn't in the gag gift category. I might raise my eyebrows because I can think of many better ways to spend $4,000, but as long as there was a range of costs among the other items I'd probably forget about it a few minutes later. If EVERY item was the best of the best -- $100 apple peeler, $600 vacuum cleaner, whatever -- I'd think the whole thing was a bit much.

The bigger issue here is that OP is really upset about something and FI is laughing about it. This doesn't seem like something that should cause an argument. Just tell him your family won't get the "joke" and it's embarrassing.

onefootinthebayou · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

I figured it was a 4K TV that also costs $4000. The ones DH and I have been eyeing up are around $3000. It all depends on the brand, whether or not you catch a good sale, etc.

Huh, I know very little about these things - I think we got a Vizio, which is not a super top of the line brand but we're only in our apt for a year so we didn't want to spend an arm & a leg for the TV. Plus I think actual 4K content is fairly limited? Like only Netflix has it? Again, I could be totally wrong/misremembering b/c I couldn't give a shit if I watch my LMN movies on a 60" or my iPhone. Haha. Then again, I'm drunk on free wine at a Delta club watching a Lindsay Lohan movie on an iPad mini. My standards are lowwwwwwww. Either way, I think we ordered ours on Amazon Prime!

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

onefootinthebayou said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

I figured it was a 4K TV that also costs $4000. The ones DH and I have been eyeing up are around $3000. It all depends on the brand, whether or not you catch a good sale, etc.

Huh, I know very little about these things - I think we got a Vizio, which is not a super top of the line brand but we're only in our apt for a year so we didn't want to spend an arm & a leg for the TV. Plus I think actual 4K content is fairly limited? Like only Netflix has it? Again, I could be totally wrong/misremembering b/c I couldn't give a shit if I watch my LMN movies on a 60" or my iPhone. Haha. Then again, I'm drunk on free wine at a Delta club watching a Lindsay Lohan movie on an iPad mini. My standards are lowwwwwwww. Either way, I think we ordered ours on Amazon Prime!

4K just means ultra high definition, there's no specific content associated with it.

There's definitely a good price range for them.

onefootinthebayou · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

onefootinthebayou said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

I figured it was a 4K TV that also costs $4000. The ones DH and I have been eyeing up are around $3000. It all depends on the brand, whether or not you catch a good sale, etc.
Huh, I know very little about these things - I think we got a Vizio, which is not a super top of the line brand but we're only in our apt for a year so we didn't want to spend an arm & a leg for the TV. Plus I think actual 4K content is fairly limited? Like only Netflix has it? Again, I could be totally wrong/misremembering b/c I couldn't give a shit if I watch my LMN movies on a 60" or my iPhone. Haha. Then again, I'm drunk on free wine at a Delta club watching a Lindsay Lohan movie on an iPad mini. My standards are lowwwwwwww. Either way, I think we ordered ours on Amazon Prime!

4K just means ultra high definition, there's no specific content associated with it.

There's definitely a good price range for them.

I thought there was content available for that high def - again, I could be wrong & know little but just did a quick Goog... http://hometheaterreview.com/what-4k-content-can-you-enjoy-right-now/ I don't know exactly what that means - like, is that content somehow better than just watching your 4K TV? I have no idea and am aware of my rude thread jack. Blaming it on the cheap free Delta wine!!

[Deleted User] · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

onefootinthebayou said:

Just wondering if this is really a $4000 TV or a "4K" TV which is just the newest tech in pixels, I think? You sure OP? I think we just got a 60" w/4K technology for WAY less than $4Gs. Ditto one PP, I don't believe your fi means this to be a joke - it's not funny. He should just own up to the fact that he's hoping someone buys it or goes in on it, etc., not try to lamely disguise it as a joke. "Hey guys, I have this great idea for a prank!" Hahaha, no.

I figured it was a 4K TV that also costs $4000. The ones DH and I have been eyeing up are around $3000. It all depends on the brand, whether or not you catch a good sale, etc.

The OP says $4,000, it's other posters, myself included, who have been saying 4K

southernbelle0915 · October 2015

I mean sure, someone COULD also create an amazon registry for a motorcycle or ATV or some top od the line computer or other expensive thing. I would side eye it same way I'd side eye any luxury $4K item.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

scribe95 said:

I admit my logical fallacy (is that how you spell that) but for some reason I personally find a $4,000 TV to be in poor taste on a registry. Apparently so does OP and several others who told her to take it off.

people are not arguing that the $4K TV is tacky, they are taking issue that you would side eye any entertainment item no matter the price since you stated that the TV is for entertainment AND over priced.

scribe95 said:

I said from the beginning that I was bothered by both. Here was my first post:

I don't think it's really appropriate - both because it's entertainment and just way too high priced.

you said it for me, but still didn't answer the ? of if you would side eye, a board game.. I registered for a $500 dollar vacuum, because we have a nice one but you can always use a better one with a Labrador in the house, and also a $20 cards against humanity game.. The only item bought off our registry? the card game.. not the mixer accessories, not the sheets, not the many other household items we had on the registry.. it is a GIFT suggestion/wish list for items that you want/need.. I think people that take offense to registries are just overly offended that people are suggesting gifts, when others demand gift suggestions.. The only reason I even had a registry is because I was told I had to for the shower, still only got two items then, not disappointed most people got gift cards to amazon so I could pick the stuff off the registry I really wanted.

Also in our circle, people share amazon wish lists for kids birthdays so that the kids get something that they actually want. if you don't you as the parent are hounded with "what do they want, what can I get them" from every I mean every person invited.. My family came together last year and bought a power wheels for my son that was on his wishlist. The wishlist was originally a list of things that I save for ideas for myself to get him for x-mas or birthday, so when I invited people and they asked what would he like I shared that list with them.

photokitty · October 2015

ryanandjoe4 said:

scribe95 said:

I admit my logical fallacy (is that how you spell that) but for some reason I personally find a $4,000 TV to be in poor taste on a registry. Apparently so does OP and several others who told her to take it off.

people are not arguing that the $4K TV is tacky, they are taking issue that you would side eye any entertainment item no matter the price since you stated that the TV is for entertainment AND over priced.

scribe95 said:

I said from the beginning that I was bothered by both. Here was my first post:

I don't think it's really appropriate - both because it's entertainment and just way too high priced.

you said it for me, but still didn't answer the ? of if you would side eye, a board game.. I registered for a $500 dollar vacuum, because we have a nice one but you can always use a better one with a Labrador in the house, and also a $20 cards against humanity game.. The only item bought off our registry? the card game.. not the mixer accessories, not the sheets, not the many other household items we had on the registry.. it is a GIFT suggestion/wish list for items that you want/need.. I think people that take offense to registries are just overly offended that people are suggesting gifts, when others demand gift suggestions.. The only reason I even had a registry is because I was told I had to for the shower, still only got two items then, not disappointed most people got gift cards to amazon so I could pick the stuff off the registry I really wanted.

Also in our circle, people share amazon wish lists for kids birthdays so that the kids get something that they actually want. if you don't you as the parent are hounded with "what do they want, what can I get them" from every I mean every person invited.. My family came together last year and bought a power wheels for my son that was on his wishlist. The wishlist was originally a list of things that I save for ideas for myself to get him for x-mas or birthday, so when I invited people and they asked what would he like I shared that list with them.

Just bc someone side eyes something does not make it against etiquette. I side eye people in leggings all the damn time, if they are even slightly see through, they are tights and you shouldn't be wearing them with a short shirt in my opinion. But it doesn't mean I can stop them. Scribe can side eye any entertainment items she wants, and share her opinion of it. Just like you can disagree. The fact is someone is going to side eye just about every item on a registry...even if it's just bc they find it ugly.

missa011 · October 2015

FWIW when my friend got married last year she and her wife registered on Amazon for mostly board games, etc.,...I side eyed it, and then bought them stuff off it. It's not something I would personally do, but to each their own, it's not against etiquette and this is one place where I'd agree with the reasoning that times, they are a-changing. Some people don't want to upgrade or have space for home registry items.

I also think $4000 is a pricy item, but, my China totaled up to way more than that if you count every piece and people bought all of it for me (all the place settings alone were over $2k). So it depends on the group, I guess.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

missa011 said:

FWIW when my friend got married last year she and her wife registered on Amazon for mostly board games, etc.,...I side eyed it, and then bought them stuff off it. It's not something I would personally do, but to each their own, it's not against etiquette and this is one place where I'd agree with the reasoning that times, they are a-changing. Some people don't want to upgrade or have space for home registry items.
I also think $4000 is a pricy item, but, my China totaled up to way more than that if you count every piece and people bought all of it for me (all the place settings alone were over $2k). So it depends on the group, I guess.

I would side eye a registry that is too specific, and doesn't have a variety of items as well, but forget about it after deciding on what my gift would be..

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

photokitty said:

scribe95 said:

I admit my logical fallacy (is that how you spell that) but for some reason I personally find a $4,000 TV to be in poor taste on a registry. Apparently so does OP and several others who told her to take it off.

people are not arguing that the $4K TV is tacky, they are taking issue that you would side eye any entertainment item no matter the price since you stated that the TV is for entertainment AND over priced.

scribe95 said:

I said from the beginning that I was bothered by both. Here was my first post:

I don't think it's really appropriate - both because it's entertainment and just way too high priced.

you said it for me, but still didn't answer the ? of if you would side eye, a board game.. I registered for a $500 dollar vacuum, because we have a nice one but you can always use a better one with a Labrador in the house, and also a $20 cards against humanity game.. The only item bought off our registry? the card game.. not the mixer accessories, not the sheets, not the many other household items we had on the registry.. it is a GIFT suggestion/wish list for items that you want/need.. I think people that take offense to registries are just overly offended that people are suggesting gifts, when others demand gift suggestions.. The only reason I even had a registry is because I was told I had to for the shower, still only got two items then, not disappointed most people got gift cards to amazon so I could pick the stuff off the registry I really wanted.

Also in our circle, people share amazon wish lists for kids birthdays so that the kids get something that they actually want. if you don't you as the parent are hounded with "what do they want, what can I get them" from every I mean every person invited.. My family came together last year and bought a power wheels for my son that was on his wishlist. The wishlist was originally a list of things that I save for ideas for myself to get him for x-mas or birthday, so when I invited people and they asked what would he like I shared that list with them.
Just bc someone side eyes something does not make it against etiquette. I side eye people in leggings all the damn time, if they are even slightly see through, they are tights and you shouldn't be wearing them with a short shirt in my opinion. But it doesn't mean I can stop them. Scribe can side eye any entertainment items she wants, and share her opinion of it. Just like you can disagree. The fact is someone is going to side eye just about every item on a registry...even if it's just bc they find it ugly.

I am not saying she can't I am genuinely curious if she would side eye any "entertainment" item or just expensive ones..

FYI I agree with you on the leggings thing, like it is OK with just a long sweater (nope, dont want to see ALL that).. But I do wear my riding breeches out soo I don't know if that is any different other than they are made with heaver material that doesn't curve with the wrong curves if you know what I mean..

SP29 · October 2015

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are

(I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

photokitty · October 2015

I will give you breeches, if you can pull them off. Just like skinny jeans, if you pull them off. We all need a trusted person on or life to tell is if we aren't pulling something off. That said...Jeaggings are always a no, unless your top fully covers your goodies. Pants so not have painted on buttons. Treat them as tights and no one's eyes will get hurt

SP29 said:
SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Yes! The opacity is key in deciding if your pants are actually pants!

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

SP29 said:

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Breeches? They shouldn't be worn outside the stable or riding arena.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

SP29 said:

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Breeches? They shouldn't be worn outside the stable or riding arena.

I agree with this, so I don't have them as an outfit I choose to wear out, but I catch my self going to the store on the way home from the barn, and forget what I am wearing..

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

ryanandjoe4 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

SP29 said:

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Breeches? They shouldn't be worn outside the stable or riding arena.

I agree with this, so I don't have them as an outfit I choose to wear out, but I catch my self going to the store on the way home from the barn, and forget what I am wearing..

Hey, a girl's gotta eat!

mileybangerz · October 2015

A good perspective on leggings .........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daIKexDNXOU

ThxSugar · October 2015

ryanandjoe4 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

SP29 said:

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Breeches? They shouldn't be worn outside the stable or riding arena.

I agree with this, so I don't have them as an outfit I choose to wear out, but I catch my self going to the store on the way home from the barn, and forget what I am wearing..

I frequently go to the wine store after I ride on Thursday.

I used to totally against/ self conscious about wearing them in public but I live in a fairly horse friendly area. Once I saw a parent in tow of 2 children, one in breeches and one in baseball pants, at the grocery store. After that was like, fuck it. But i still won't wear yoga pants anywhere besides yoga.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

ThxSugar said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

SP29 said:

SO agree- leggings are not pants!

Breeches are (I am biased as you can see). They have a functional purpose as pants. And you can't see underwear through them.

Breeches? They shouldn't be worn outside the stable or riding arena.

I agree with this, so I don't have them as an outfit I choose to wear out, but I catch my self going to the store on the way home from the barn, and forget what I am wearing..
I frequently go to the wine store after I ride on Thursday. I used to totally against/ self conscious about wearing them in public but I live in a fairly horse friendly area. Once I saw a parent in tow of 2 children, one in breeches and one in baseball pants, at the grocery store. After that was like, fuck it. But i still won't wear yoga pants anywhere besides yoga.

when I was 100lbs and couldn't gain weight didn't care at all. but now after two kids and 10 years later I hate wearing them anywhere but the barn or shows..

Am I overreacting?

Re: Am I overreacting?

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