I'm having trouble deciding how to address two of the girls I had previously asked to be my bridesmaids.
I became engaged at the end of August and asked two of my college friends that I have kept in touch with over the years to be in my wedding. My MOH is a former roommate and isn't part of the problem, thank goodness.
Anyways, pretty shortly after I became engaged, the one bridesmaid decided she was going to marry her boyfriend of 3 months. They went and got a marriage license one day and didn't tell anyone. They were going to have a private ceremony and then do a ring ceremony in a few months, since their license would expire after 60 days. Her private ceremony snowballed into a 50 person, thrown together, semi-formal affair that I ended up doing a lot of last minute projects for her. All in all, she was engaged and married within the course of a month immediately following my engagement. I'm trying not to feel one-upped, but it's difficult.
She has done several hurtful things to me since my engagement, I won't fully elaborate, but she basically disagrees with everything traditional about my wedding, including the fact that my engagement ring is a diamond and she disagrees with the diamond industry.... Now she is upset with me over a regrettably insensitive comment I made at her wedding - I was already at the end of my rope with her. We had a big heart to heart this week over all of the things we have both been feeling and she has basically admitted that she didn't realize I was a sensitive person and that all her comments putting down my wedding were hurting me and that she feels like she hasn't gotten to know me on a deeper than surface level (she has her counseling degree).
So I pretty much feel like this person I thought was a close friend and that I knew on a pretty deep level doesn't know me at all. The trouble with the second bridesmaid is that she follows suit on whatever the first girl does. She's very insecure and codependent. I try to be sensitive to her, but she takes it personally whenever something good happens in my life (I must be looking down at her) or when I take too long to return a text. I've recently gone back to school, am working at a new job, planning a wedding, and going through the home buying process with my fiancé, so it's definitely not personal when I don't stay in close contact for the purpose of chit-chat, but she doesn't understand this and basically thinks I'm a stuck up bitch.
At this point, I'm ready to be done with both of them. I don't think I want them at my wedding, much less by my side as my closest friends, but I don't know how to address this with them.