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Question about a gap.

dvlwmn1027dvlwmn1027 member
Knottie Warrior First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have seen so much info that says different things on having a gap between ceremony and reception. We are thinking we may have a 2 hour gap between events. This is an OOT wedding. The ceremony is being held at the mob museum in las vegas. Many of our guests enjoy traveling and history and the venue has included admission to the museum for all our guests at no cost to them. I would make sure all are aware before arriving in town and give a list of other options should anyone not have an interest in it. There is very little travel time as the reception and most peoples accommodations are directly across the street from museum/ceremony.
Thoughts on this?
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Re: Question about a gap.

  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Please don't have a gap. They are rude. I've only attended one wedding with a gap, and everyone talked about how rude it was. 
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Could you make the museum time part of the event? I've never heard of the exact museum, but they might be able to provide a cocktail hour type atmosphere, instead of the guests just being left to fend for themselves in the museum.

    (Though, personally, free admission to a museum would generally keep me happily occupied for an hour or more, as long as I knew not to wear heels, many guests may feel put off by being left there alone.)
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    JediElizabeth said:
    Could you make the museum time part of the event? I've never heard of the exact museum, but they might be able to provide a cocktail hour type atmosphere, instead of the guests just being left to fend for themselves in the museum. (Though, personally, free admission to a museum would generally keep me happily occupied for an hour or more, as long as I knew not to wear heels, many guests may feel put off by being left there alone.)
    Exactly this.  If I know I'm going to a wedding, I'm not planning on going through a museum.  I want to see a wedding ceremony, be happy, then start the party.  You're totally harshing my mellow if you ask me to take two hours to wander through the mob museum before the party.
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  • wink0erinwink0erin member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Is there a particular reason why you think you may have a 2 hour gap? I'd just move the reception up, gaps are super annoying to guests. 
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    wink0erin said:
    Is there a particular reason why you think you may have a 2 hour gap? I'd just move the reception up, gaps are super annoying to guests. 
    Just a wild guess but.... PICTURES!!!!
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There should never be a gap, regardless of circumstances. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just say no to gaps.

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  • missa011missa011 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper

    If I'm going to a museum (which I love to do so free admission there would be awesome) I usually wear sneakers or boots because walking. So it may not work well with what your guests wear.

    I think Jedi had a good idea - can you talk to the venue about hosting an extended cocktail hour during that time in the museum? My parents went to a wedding that did something similar to this.

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  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    There is an aquarium in our town that has weddings, and they will set up your cocktail hour in all the exhibits, it takes about an 1.5 to walk through if you wanted. and they have a table with snacks and random drink stations set up through out.. If you could do that then that would be the only reason to have a 1.5hr long cocktail hour but I feel that is even pushing it..
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    dvlwmn1027 said:
    I have seen so much info that says different things on having a gap between ceremony and reception. We are thinking we may have a 2 hour gap between events. This is an OOT wedding. The ceremony is being held at the mob museum in las vegas. Many of our guests enjoy traveling and history and the venue has included admission to the museum for all our guests at no cost to them. I would make sure all are aware before arriving in town and give a list of other options should anyone not have an interest in it. There is very little travel time as the reception and most peoples accommodations are directly across the street from museum/ceremony. Thoughts on this?
    No please.

    As an OOT guest, I HATE gaps.  Look, I'm in town for the sole purpose of attending your ceremony and reception.  I'm not in town to sight see or do anything else but attend your ceremony and reception.  I'm not going to go out just to kill time, especially dressed to go to a wedding.

    The only way I'd think this would be ok is to do as Banana said, and have your cocktail hour served at the museum.  Then I'd be ok with it and take advantage of the free admission.  I went to a wedding last year in Kentucky and the couple had their reception in a museum and during cocktail hour we could tour the museum for free.  But there was no gap between their ceremony and the reception.

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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I also dislike gaps. And my least favorite gap are those that last from 1.5 to 2.5 hours. Because it's too much time to sit around (or walk around in heels) but not enough time to go do anything else (like go sight seeing / catch a show / take a nice nap at the hotel / etc).

    All gaps are bad but a 2 hour one kills my soul.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you're going to have any sort of a "gap" it should be a hosted cocktail hour (and bring it down to an hour). 

    You could see if the museum will host your cocktail hour for you, and then guests can wander about if they wish. Cocktail hour doesn't need to be particularly fancy- cheese and crackers, fruit and veggie trays to snack on with a couple of beverage options to drink (doesn't need to be alcoholic).

    We had a 2 hour cocktail "hour" at our wedding (all one venue), and honestly it was a bit much. You could tell after awhile that guests were running out of things to "chat" about and wanted dinner. Heck, *I* wanted dinner. Max cocktail "hour" I would do is 1.5 hours. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Nope.  I traveled for your wedding and reception.  Not because I want to wander around aimlessly for a few hours while you take your pictures.  It's inconsiderate and incredibly disrespectful of people's time.  


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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    A wedding/reception = one single event.

    Can you imagine if you were invited to a bday party and the hosts had a two hour gap between cake and opening presents? You'd probably only want to attend one or the other. Same thing with weddings.
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  • Summerbride82716Summerbride82716 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm going to piggy back on this thread because I've been wondering a similar question. 

    I finally decided on my ceremony-it's going to be at this beautiful church where my parents got married. While the timeline is not set, they generally like ceremonies to be done by 4pm- so my ceremony will most likely be from 3:30-4pm. There's only one wedding a day so it's booked but time is not set in stone.

    My reception is in a separate location that is supposed to go from 5-10pm. The drive between the two is around 15-20 minutes along the coast (beautiful residential street, although there is a an annoying 5 way stop sign intersection by the church so it may become a 25 minute drive for the guests). Both locations have free and very easy parking.

    Is this too much of a gap? I'm assuming it will take people around 10 min to actually get in their cars and driving and 20 minutes to get to the reception. So possibly a half hour gap. My reception is at a small interpretive center on the cliffs that is open til 5 (why the reception starts then) and a popular whale watching spot, so they could entertain themselves either of those ways.

    Am I just convincing myself that it's not rude or are all gaps terrible?
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We had a similar situation with my daughter's wedding. Frankly, by the time people finished chatting outside the church, walked to their cars, drove/cabbed to the reception it really wasn't a gap. They could enter the venue, use the restrooms to freshen up if needed, find their place cards and by that time the bar was open.
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  • Summerbride82716Summerbride82716 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    climbingwife said:
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    Are you doing a receiving line after the ceremony? That would eat up some time too. If guests do arrive early, will they be allowed to go into where the reception is being held?
    We weren't planning on a receiving line, but it's so far in advance that nothing is really out of the question. 

    The reception is a small interpretive center about whales which is indoors, but it has a separate room with a wall that opens up to a patio/ocean view. It's half indoors and outdoors and that section may be closed depending on how strict they are. The actual informative interpretive center part would still be open, and I believe the patio (with guestbook, lounge area, and dance floor) would be open but couldn't serve food or alcohol til 5.

    Luckily, everything has time to adjust, but I hate gaps myself and I'm not sure if I'm just blindly letting my own slide haha.  
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Summerbride82716 said:

    show previous quotes
    We weren't planning on a receiving line, but it's so far in advance that nothing is really out of the question. 

    The reception is a small interpretive center about whales which is indoors, but it has a separate room with a wall that opens up to a patio/ocean view. It's half indoors and outdoors and that section may be closed depending on how strict they are. The actual informative interpretive center part would still be open, and I believe the patio (with guestbook, lounge area, and dance floor) would be open but couldn't serve food or alcohol til 5.

    Luckily, everything has time to adjust, but I hate gaps myself and I'm not sure if I'm just blindly letting my own slide haha.  


    Honestly I think you're fine.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Summerbride82716 said:
    show previous quotes
    We weren't planning on a receiving line, but it's so far in advance that nothing is really out of the question. 

    The reception is a small interpretive center about whales which is indoors, but it has a separate room with a wall that opens up to a patio/ocean view. It's half indoors and outdoors and that section may be closed depending on how strict they are. The actual informative interpretive center part would still be open, and I believe the patio (with guestbook, lounge area, and dance floor) would be open but couldn't serve food or alcohol til 5.

    Luckily, everything has time to adjust, but I hate gaps myself and I'm not sure if I'm just blindly letting my own slide haha.  
    I think this is OK because it's only half an hour and mostly, because your guests can still get into the reception venue. They can look around, use the bathroom, chat with other guests, etc. 

    You could do a receiving line out of the church to eat up that half an hour. I find most people will stand around and chat anyway for a bit post ceremony. 
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  • VicTim328VicTim328 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    OP, at first, I thought, maybe a guided tour to eat up time... But then I realized, that would mean walking around a museum in heels for well over an hour.  That's a lot of walking in heels, plus museum floors tend to be, well, slippery....
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Thought I wouldn't mind seeing the museum... If it's in vegas and free... it's probably a very small museum and it'd probably only take me about 15mins to go through... so still have a long gap ahead of me. I like what someone else said see if they can serve something.. Or open the room up for refreshments and appetizers but also give them the option of the museum.. I'd also shorten it to at least 1.5 hours and that's a stretch.  
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Is there a purpose for a 2 hour gap other than giving your guests the opportunity to see the museum?  Is the museum willing to give free admission before your ceremony to your guests?  Maybe let your guests know that there's a museum option if they want to show up and browse through before the ceremony, then you eliminate the gap and guests who want to still get to take advantage of free admission.  

    If you're doing a two hour gap so you can take photos without having to host your guests, then I would suggest doing a first look instead and do your photos then.  No gap, same result.
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  • lembasloverlembaslover member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    OP I worked at a museum and we used to set up the museum with a cocktail hour. We'd play music and had a bar open and put cocktail tables around so guests could wander around or stand and chat with their drinks. See if you can do this. But definitely shorten it to an hour tops. 

    If you're thinking you need more time for pictures you really don't. We had planned for an hour cocktail hour and figured we'd miss the whole thing doing pictures. We actually got to join in for the last 15 minutes and by that point I was pretty pictured out. We just got our proofs and there are plenty of photos to choose from!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    dvlwmn1027 said:

    I have seen so much info that says different things on having a gap between ceremony and reception. We are thinking we may have a 2 hour gap between events. This is an OOT wedding. The ceremony is being held at the mob museum in las vegas. Many of our guests enjoy traveling and history and the venue has included admission to the museum for all our guests at no cost to them. I would make sure all are aware before arriving in town and give a list of other options should anyone not have an interest in it. There is very little travel time as the reception and most peoples accommodations are directly across the street from museum/ceremony.
    Thoughts on this?

    Don't have a gap. Regardless of whatever else your guests might want to do in Las Vegas, at the mob museum or elsewhere, they're not going to want to do it in a 2 hour time span between your ceremony and reception while dressed up. Have a cocktail hour in between the ceremony and the reception (an hour at the longest) with drinks and appetizers, but don't expect your guests to leave the area and come back 2 hours later.
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  • MandTFebruary62011MandTFebruary62011 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Reading these boards I learn that I am clearly really low key... I've been to several weddings with gaps and while it's not my favorite I never get bent out of shape about it either. Usually we just go grab a drink at a bar while we wait. And you'll be in Vegas so it's not like there is nothing to do....

    That being said I know there are people who are bothered by it and get bored. We won't be having a gap because we have a lot of elderly family members and did not want to inconvenience them so we made sure our venue did ceremony/cocktail/reception all in one spot.

    I'm sure people will be fired up but even if it's not "right" I do think some of it depends on your guest list and if you have friends/family that don't mind grabbing a beverage in between.
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