Child-free wedding means my sister is refusing to attend as her children won't be invited ...

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

[Deleted User] said:

The restaurant that we are having the reception at serves upscale Italian food that most kids (my nieces and nephew especially) would not appreciate. We want to stay very authentic and not ask the restaurant to make chicken fingers etc. The fact that it is just a short civil ceremony and then dinner with no dancing makes me think that most kids would find it very boring and then not having food to their liking would be the icing on the cake. Bored children can end up cranky.

I take it you're not Italian. . .because if you were, you'd know that what makes a meal truly authentic Italian is making sure everyone eats their fill. . . by force it necessary, lol. So whether we have to make chicken fingers for kids that will be served alongside the "upscale" food wouldn't be an issue at all. For us, it's making sure everyone is happy and fed that's important.

And a restaurant is a business- they will make whatever the hell you ask them to make and give zero fucks if that's chicken fingers and chicken Romano as long as you pay.

*Barbie* said:

5-8yo in bed at 7pm? that's insanity.

my 4yo (almost 5) daughter has an 8-830pm bedtime, which we don't have an issue extending on weekends or special occasions. She wouldn't have any issue eating an "adult" meal if there wasn't a childrens' menu available. (Maybe this is odd - but avocado is basically the only food that she really doesn't seem to like, and I give that a pass since she eats basically everything else.) I don't really understand how people expect to expand a child's palate when all they feed them is pizza/chicken fingers/mac n cheese/fries. I'm sure of all menu choices, Italian is probably one of the most "kid-friendly" even if the kids *are* picky eaters.

I'd decline if I was local because it's impossible to get a sitter on a weeknight - otherwise I'd attend alone and my H would just stay at home with our kid.

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

thefanciestbeckler · October 2015

Damn, I always miss the good ones.

*Barbie* · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.

By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

Some are in school (5-6 years old) and most have 2 working parents. Most of their activities are on weekends (soccer, dance, etc.) Yes, the kids typically get up at 7am or so. . . which is normal for kids who go to bed earlier, lol. Kids are generally wired that way anyways, and their circadian clocks don't shift to be up later and to sleep in longer until puberty.

However, I have one friend with two kids, and her son is 7 now and has football practice during the week after school, games on the weekend, and yes he does go to bed later than 7:30. . . because like you said he has homework after practice, dinner, bath, etc. I think he's typically in bed by 9pm.

GlamQueenBride · October 2015

I agree that 7 p.m. is way early for bed. I know people do it, but it just doesn't make sense to me when most people eat dinner between 5-6 p.m.

Heffalump · October 2015

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

*Barbie* · October 2015

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

@Heffalump - I'll agree with you that there's a lot of variability, so yes, maybe "insane" is too strong of a word. What time is Wooz in bed? I know she's a couple of years older than Wolverine.

Wolverine is usually up at 7 when left to her own devices (on weekends) - but we ask her to hang out and play quietly in her room until 8. (so we can sleep) On weekdays, DK gets her up and starts getting her ready around 6:15 and she just hangs out and watches TV until I'm ready to leave for work (I fix her hair and drop her off at school - DK leaves before school opens).

We could shift gymnastics to weekends, but that would eat most of our Saturday because it's at 12:15-1:115. If only she were old enough to drive herself. :-P

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

*Barbie* said:

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

@Heffalump - I'll agree with you that there's a lot of variability, so yes, maybe "insane" is too strong of a word. What time is Wooz in bed? I know she's a couple of years older than Wolverine.
Wolverine is usually up at 7 when left to her own devices (on weekends) - but we ask her to hang out and play quietly in her room until 8. (so we can sleep) On weekdays, DK gets her up and starts getting her ready around 6:15 and she just hangs out and watches TV until I'm ready to leave for work (I fix her hair and drop her off at school - DK leaves before school opens).
We could shift gymnastics to weekends, but that would eat most of our Saturday because it's at 12:15-1:115. If only she were old enough to drive herself. :-P

DK?

6:15am is too early for everyone, lol ;-) I feel badly about how early kids and teens often have to get up to go to school. Great if you are already a morning person, but typically for adolescents that just isn't the case.

GlamQueenBride · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

*Barbie* said:

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

@Heffalump - I'll agree with you that there's a lot of variability, so yes, maybe "insane" is too strong of a word. What time is Wooz in bed? I know she's a couple of years older than Wolverine.
Wolverine is usually up at 7 when left to her own devices (on weekends) - but we ask her to hang out and play quietly in her room until 8. (so we can sleep) On weekdays, DK gets her up and starts getting her ready around 6:15 and she just hangs out and watches TV until I'm ready to leave for work (I fix her hair and drop her off at school - DK leaves before school opens).
We could shift gymnastics to weekends, but that would eat most of our Saturday because it's at 12:15-1:115. If only she were old enough to drive herself. :-P

DK?

6:15am is too early for everyone, lol ;-) I feel badly about how early kids and teens often have to get up to go to school. Great if you are already a morning person, but typically for adolescents that just isn't the case.

Don't most people who work get up around that time? Schools do start early, but I think it's so that parents can drop kids off or walk them to the bus stop before going to work.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

Knottie63139532 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

*Barbie* said:

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

@Heffalump - I'll agree with you that there's a lot of variability, so yes, maybe "insane" is too strong of a word. What time is Wooz in bed? I know she's a couple of years older than Wolverine.
Wolverine is usually up at 7 when left to her own devices (on weekends) - but we ask her to hang out and play quietly in her room until 8. (so we can sleep) On weekdays, DK gets her up and starts getting her ready around 6:15 and she just hangs out and watches TV until I'm ready to leave for work (I fix her hair and drop her off at school - DK leaves before school opens).
We could shift gymnastics to weekends, but that would eat most of our Saturday because it's at 12:15-1:115. If only she were old enough to drive herself. :-P

DK?

6:15am is too early for everyone, lol ;-) I feel badly about how early kids and teens often have to get up to go to school. Great if you are already a morning person, but typically for adolescents that just isn't the case.

Don't most people who work get up around that time? Schools do start early, but I think it's so that parents can drop kids off or walk them to the bus stop before going to work.

Newp, not necessarily.

lightningsnow · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

Knottie63139532 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

*Barbie* said:

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

All my nieces and nephews are in that age range or a bit younger and have a 7:30pm bed time. Same with my friends' kids. For special events they can all stay up later, but I don't really think 7:30pm is all that odd for bedtime for young kids. Maybe it's a tad early for a 7 or 8 year old.

They must not be in school (have homework) / do activities/sports / have 2 working parents or otherwise the kids are up at the absolute crack of dawn.
By the time we both get home from work, make dinner, and finish eating, it's usually after 7. The one night each week that she has gymnastics, we're not usually home until 7:45. Our daughter is in kindergarten, so she has occasional homework, and we're working with her on her reading, so tack another 30 minutes on for a few worksheets an/or reading practice time. Tack on another 20 minutes for brushing teeth/taking a bath/changing into PJs, etc. She's our only one, but I would assume that these activities would take longer with multiple kids, or older kids that have an appreciable amount of homework.

Our nieces and nephews (7 and under) are in a similar range as us with the oldest kids around 8pm and the toddlers around 7.

It is so good to see another WWer out on the other boards.

Barbie, I am i2i with you on most things, but I think bedtimes are so individual. I can't get on board with calling a 7 p.m. bedtime insane. Wolverine's schedule would kill Wooz, she would be a cranky, crabby, defiant mess. When she started first grade, we actually had to walk her bedtime back a bit to make sure she was getting enough sleep and wasn't a monster the next day. (That's one reason that swim/riding are always on weekends for us, because after school is a non-starter with her.)

But her school bus also comes at 6:30 a.m., which is part of the reason she goes to bed earlier. With everyone's kids/families/schools/activities/schedules so different, I'm willing to be a little flex on other people's bedtimes.

All that aside, a Tuesday night no-kid wedding still sounds incredibly inconvenient, and if I were the sister I'd probably decline too.

@Heffalump - I'll agree with you that there's a lot of variability, so yes, maybe "insane" is too strong of a word. What time is Wooz in bed? I know she's a couple of years older than Wolverine.
Wolverine is usually up at 7 when left to her own devices (on weekends) - but we ask her to hang out and play quietly in her room until 8. (so we can sleep) On weekdays, DK gets her up and starts getting her ready around 6:15 and she just hangs out and watches TV until I'm ready to leave for work (I fix her hair and drop her off at school - DK leaves before school opens).
We could shift gymnastics to weekends, but that would eat most of our Saturday because it's at 12:15-1:115. If only she were old enough to drive herself. :-P

DK?

6:15am is too early for everyone, lol ;-) I feel badly about how early kids and teens often have to get up to go to school. Great if you are already a morning person, but typically for adolescents that just isn't the case.

Don't most people who work get up around that time? Schools do start early, but I think it's so that parents can drop kids off or walk them to the bus stop before going to work.

Newp, not necessarily.

Yeah, I get up at 7 to get to work for 9. Anything earlier means I'm cranky.

GlamQueenBride · October 2015

Let me rephrase: don't most people who work at 8 a.m. get up around that time?

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

Knottie63139532 said:

Let me rephrase: don't most people who work at 8 a.m. get up around that time?

nope, I get up as late as possible, I am at work at 7:30-8 most days and wake up around 6:45 every morning..

GlamQueenBride · October 2015

ryanandjoe4 said:

Knottie63139532 said:

Let me rephrase: don't most people who work at 8 a.m. get up around that time?

nope, I get up as late as possible, I am at work at 7:30-8 most days and wake up around 6:45 every morning

You must live very close to work.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

Knottie63139532 said:

ryanandjoe4 said:

Knottie63139532 said:

Let me rephrase: don't most people who work at 8 a.m. get up around that time?

nope, I get up as late as possible, I am at work at 7:30-8 most days and wake up around 6:45 every morning

You must live very close to work.

25 minute drive.. I have by outfit picked out, don't wear makeup, shower at night to get the chemical smell off when I am home for the night.. Only wear my hair up since it is unsafe to have long hair down in a lab.

lightningsnow · October 2015

Knottie63139532 said:

Let me rephrase: don't most people who work at 8 a.m. get up around that time?

Even when I worked at 8:30-5, I still got up at 6:30 at the earliest. The only time I ever got up earlier than that was when I worked at 7 and I had to get up at 5. Never again...

SP29 · October 2015

I get up at 6:30 to go to work for 8. And that is early enough. I have some co-workers who prefer to shift their time, one of them comes in at 6AM!! I cannot tell you why she prefers this, it sounds like hell to me

.

levioosa · October 2015

SP29 said:

I get up at 6:30 to go to work for 8. And that is early enough. I have some co-workers who prefer to shift their time, one of them comes in at 6AM!! I cannot tell you why she prefers this, it sounds like hell to me .

I loved coming in at 7. 3:30 and I was out, baby!

themosthappy91 · October 2015

Well this turn of conversation is making me thank my lucky stars I don't have to get into work until 10:30... and even then I'm getting up at like 9:50 at the earliest. I don't care what time I have to be somewhere, I never can seem to give myself more than 25 minutes to get ready max... it's a problem.

My job is also one of those where you set your own schedule though- some of my co-workers get there at 7, some get there at noon. I love having that sort of flexibility, plus the fact that if you time it right you can get SO MUCH ALONE TIME in the office and actually be productive and not distracted by annoying coworkers.

FiancB · October 2015

Back on topic, I was kind of torn early in wedding planning because I love kids, but I also love crazy drunken parties. My sister was OOT and has 5 kids, so there was no excluding them so we just invited everybody.

Almost everyone found a sitter, because they also love crazy drunken parties. Those that did bring my kids (really just my sister and one other couple brought one toddler? I think?) went home on the early side and crazy drunken party kicked off shortly after dinner. Just sayin'. It's really not as big an issue as people make it out to be.

Though as others said, on a Tuesday I don't think there will be much of a party no matter what.

GlamQueenBride · October 2015

FiancB said:

Back on topic, I was kind of torn early in wedding planning because I love kids, but I also love crazy drunken parties. My sister was OOT and has 5 kids, so there was no excluding them so we just invited everybody.

Almost everyone found a sitter, because they also love crazy drunken parties. Those that did bring my kids (really just my sister and one other couple brought one toddler? I think?) went home on the early side and crazy drunken party kicked off shortly after dinner. Just sayin'. It's really not as big an issue as people make it out to be.

Though as others said, on a Tuesday I don't think there will be much of a party no matter what.

I think having a weekday wedding AND telling out of town guests not to bring kids makes for a very subdued, low-profile wedding, personally. When you choose a weekday wedding, you might as well make it kid-friendly because it's not going to turn into a drunken crazy party whether they're there or not. And if it's a budgetary issue, then just invite the kids of VIPs and cut someone else from the guest list that you're not that close to.

SP29 · October 2015

@FinacB LOVE your siggy pic. haha!

Teddy917 · October 2015

I START work at 6. I have to wake up by 4.

Child-free wedding means my sister is refusing to attend as her children won't be invited ...

Re: Child-free wedding means my sister is refusing to attend as her children won't be invited ...

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