Is it really the little things that matter most???

JCocco219 · October 2015

This is somewhat a vent and somewhat a question lol.... My wedding is in a little under 4 months, so I am at the point where all my appointments and followups are starting to happen, pre-wedding parties are being planned, basically all the fun stuff!

But....I also feel super stressed! Everyday I am either on Etsy or Pinterest or just on social media looking at pictures of friends weddings and I am always feeling like I am missing something.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I feel like there are so many cute little extras that people do and I worry I won't have enough of those "personal touches" or creative add ons that everyone else has. Sometimes I think, okay people are not going to remember those things, the day is about me and my fiance, but then other times, I see pictures and I'm like, OMG that would be perfect if I added framed pictures of our parents wedding picture at the table or the cute childhood pictures of us on the mantle in the cocktail hour (just giving examples)

Please tell me their are other brides out there that feel overwhelmed with social media/pinterest weddings/Etsy??

[Deleted User] · October 2015

JCocco219 said:

This is somewhat a vent and somewhat a question lol.... My wedding is in a little under 4 months, so I am at the point where all my appointments and followups are starting to happen, pre-wedding parties are being planned, basically all the fun stuff!
But....I also feel super stressed! Everyday I am either on Etsy or Pinterest or just on social media looking at pictures of friends weddings and I am always feeling like I am missing something.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I feel like there are so many cute little extras that people do and I worry I won't have enough of those "personal touches" or creative add ons that everyone else has. Sometimes I think, okay people are not going to remember those things, the day is about me and my fiance, but then other times, I see pictures and I'm like, OMG that would be perfect if I added framed pictures of our parents wedding picture at the table or the cute childhood pictures of us on the mantle in the cocktail hour (just giving examples)

Please tell me their are other brides out there that feel overwhelmed with social media/pinterest weddings/Etsy??

Get off Pinterest immediately.

Are you feeding your guests properly for the right time of day (i.e. meal at meal time)? Will have you have a chair for every butt both at the ceremony and at the reception? Are you serving them beverages free of charge? Will they have to open their wallets at all at your event, for a dollar dance, to purchase a drink, for a money tree? Will you be starting the day un-married and end the day married?

The rest is just fluff. You are the only one who will remember it in the long run. And if it's stressing you out it's got to go.

Maggie0829 · October 2015

As a guest to many a wedding I remember if the food is good, if I had to pay for my drink and if I had an overall good time. I do not remember the details. I couldn't tell you what the flowers looked like at the last wedding I went to. Nor could I tell you if there were any personal touches.

Are personal touches nice? Sure, but in the long run they aren't what is remembered. What is remembered is how you treated your guests and if they had a good time.

So don't stress out. Focus on the big picture. And get off Pinterest (god I am glad that I didn't discover Pinterest until after my wedding was over with).

missa011 · October 2015

I totally see your point...Pinterest and etsy make everything seem SO IMPORTANT. But as PPs have said, 1) you're marrying FI which is the most important! 2) If you're hosting properly with food and drink that is what matters next. Extras like DJ/band are good because it helps with the party feel (if that's what you're having). But everything else? Even flowers, honestly, no one is going to look back in even a year and remember them, but will remember what a great time they had. They DEFINITELY won't remember what photos may or may not have been there, or if you had a sparkler exit, or a candy bar. Those things are great if you want them and can afford them, but are totally unnecessary.

I'm having a very traditional wedding and my parents, who are hosting, don't like a lot of fluff (especially my mom). She nixed every "cutesy" idea we threw at her, and honestly I'm kind of glad. I want to focus on my marriage to FI and spend a great day with the people I love most in the world. And that's what you want too! Just let everything else roll off your back.

levioosa · October 2015

What matters most: Hosting everyone properly. That means appropriate hosting per time of day (ex. mealtime wedding must have dinner), enough seats, no gaps, guests shouldn't have to pay for anything, no tiers/B listing, etc. As long as everyone has enough food, drinks, and seats, everything else is pretty much extra.

STARMOON44 · October 2015

No one care about the little details. They want good food, drinks, in a comfortable environment.

southernbelle0915 · October 2015

Unless you have loads of extra time and money, get off Pinterest.

Also, I don't agree at all that its the little things. Its the big things that matter - good food, good drinks, good music, a comfortable venue, seats for everyone... The only "little thing" we got comments on were our bathroom baskets.

Jen4948 · October 2015

The only things that would be important to me as a guest are the food, drinks, and atmosphere. As long as you've taken care of that, those little things on Pinterest are just not important. At best they are nice but unnecessary touches; at worst they're not only unnecessary but take the wedding someplace it shouldn't go.

AddieCake · October 2015

Get the hell off Pinterest.

downtondiva · October 2015

I just got married about 2 weeks ago. There were no favors, no DIY projects, and no teeny tiny personalized details. There was great food, a full open bar, and good music. Every guest my family and I have spoken to since the wedding has told me what a wonderful time they had.

My point is, we focused on having the things that would help us and our guests have the best time possible. Pinterest can't help you with that and will only distract you from what matters most. Save yourself some stress and stay away from it while you're wedding planning.

lnixon8 · October 2015

Not only are PPS right considering no one else caring about the personal touches... YOU will feel so much better cutting these unnecessary little things.

JCocco219 · October 2015

Thank you everyone, this is exactly what I needed to be reminded!! We have a beautiful venue with amazing food, top shelf open bar all night, and an awesome DJ! Plus both sides of our families are super fun, so I know it will be a great night! Oh, and I am marrying the man of my dreams

I actually just went to a wedding this weekend for a family friend and after leaving I felt very confident in everything we have!

Thank you again, I honestly knew all of this, but I guess i just needed everyone to remind me and snap me back to reality!

AdventureisCalling · October 2015

I know exactly how you feel. I am still 6 months out, but I come across things all the time and get a little down that mine won't be the BEST THING EVER.

Then I take a moment to ground myself, have a glass of wine, and remind myself to think about all the weddings I have been to and what I really remember. It is always either cringeworthy bad hosting things (such as cash bars, gaps or running out of food) or it is the good food, cake and time with friends. I never remember the cutesy decorations or signs, so I feel better about focusing on the food, drink and merriment!

JCocco219 · October 2015

Absolutely @adventureisCalling!!! Like I said earlier, I went to a friends wedding this past weekend, and it was gorgeous, nothing over the top, but very pretty. After leaving I felt very confident in what I have done. I do have a few cute little personal touches I am adding (we're having a pretty table assignment framed board instead of paper place cards, I have a table with all pics of all the married couples in our immediate family, I have the cute mr. and mrs. sign for my sweetheart table, lol things like that) but I am more focused on the fact that we have an amazing venue, great DJ, amazing food, and the best family and friends there sharing the best day of our lives

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

I will say I did a lot of DIY and loved it, to each their own, some of it I am keeping, some I am re-purposing, some I am getting rid of.. if it stresses you out and doesn't effect how the guests are hosted then don't stress about it.

I will say (because we had a 4th of July party birthday party for my 5 year old with lots of sparklers left over so why not) we attempted a sparkler exit, I will stress attempted and discovered why not.. By the time that the last one was lit the first ones were out, Then I forgot my family and my uncle (full grown man) lit a handful at the same time, and burned his finger nothing major but still, so just remember your crowd to when you see all these "cool" ideas..

Knottie00267128 · October 2015

What matters most, plain and simple, is the love you and your fiancé share. Your wedding day will be a beautiful celebration of that. Your friends and family will remember that most, and maybe the food

PInterest is full of cute favor ideas and other personal touches, however, don't stress yourself over these little things - especially if the are not in your budget! I read somewhere that 70% of favors are left behind anyways.

The little things aren't worth it if they stress you (and your budget) out to the point that you're not enjoying your own wedding.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

Knottie00267128 said:

What matters most, plain and simple, is the love you and your fiancé share. Your wedding day will be a beautiful celebration of that. Your friends and family will remember that most, and maybe the food
PInterest is full of cute favor ideas and other personal touches, however, don't stress yourself over these little things - especially if the are not in your budget! I read somewhere that 70% of favors are left behind anyways.
The little things aren't worth it if they stress you (and your budget) out to the point that you're not enjoying your own wedding.

I am sure this depends on the favor, most of our guests walked out with a few in their hand.

100yroldblinddog · October 2015

As a person going though my own series of mini existential crises, I completely understand your feelings. It's hard to look at anything wedding-related and not feel a comparison in some way.

I read this great article ( http://apracticalwedding.com/2015/02/wedding-not-authentic-personal-wedding-wanted/ ) that helps put things into perspective. The entire website is pretty great too. I hope that helps!

JCocco219 · October 2015

@100yroldblinddog that was a great article, thank you for sharing!!

Knottie1438010351 · October 2015

We have been to a bunch of weddings this year. And they are all starting to look the same. Pinterest overload. It was a great place to find inspiration, but anything I like so does everyone else.

JCocco219 · November 2015

@knottie1438010351 i totally agree on that one! There were so many things I saw in the past and was like, "YES, i will have this at my wedding!"...but now I have been to say 10 weddings in the past 2 years and 5 of them had the same thing. So, now I'm like "NO, i will not have that at my wedding!" lol

jacques27 · November 2015

As someone who recently attended a wedding that focused on a lot of the "little touches" - I would have preferred that time, effort, and money had been spent worrying more about there being enough food, hiring a caterer with a full-time staff so that 80% of the chafing dishes weren't empty at any given time, and paying for my drinks so I wouldn't have the embarrassing experience of leaving my drink at the bar and having a friend lend me money because ATMs or paying by card weren't an option. All the cute centerpieces, embroidered favors, and pictures posted about don't get me more than four bites of undercooked food.

Focus on the big stuff. That's the stuff I'm going to remember. And if you have all the big stuff down and working like a well-oiled machine, go ahead and add in some little touches, but that's not what I'm going to be talking about at the end of the night - I'm either going to be talking about how delicious the food was or how great the DJ was. I'll remember a couple little details and if everything else was great then I'll remember it fondly, but if it wasn't then I'll just be wondering why you spent so much time decoupaging favor boxes instead of caring about how well your guests will be hosted.

Is it really the little things that matter most???

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