Is a "Wedding Crasher Invite" appropriate for acquaintances and friends with whom we are not close?

kimmiinthemitten · October 2015

Yet another tiered reception post, le sigh.

OP, your first post you say you know you are violating etiquette and essentially telling people they weren't important enough for the whole day and acknowledge people may be offended, but then respond to everyone who said don't do it by saying you'd find this invite fun. Which is it?

If the band is so amazing they probably have shows of their own where they are the spotlight. Throw another party at another date where you invite this group of friends to see them live. The band isn't getting married, or attending your ceremony as a guest so the reception shouldn't be about them.

It seems lately a lot of posters seem to think their friends would rather not witness the ceremony. It makes me wonder what kind of friends these posters have that don't want to be a part/witness to a big deal. Would you invite your friends to celebrate your babies first birthday after you put the kid to bed? No because the event is the thing.

Also, your first response seems to indicate that you think only Justie provided a constructive response. Everyone has, just because you didn't like it doesn't mean it wasn't good advice.

MGP · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:
I do appreciate the feedback - honestly - and I'm not at all surprised by the responses. I do understand this is an etiquette board - and that's what people want to push - good etiquette. That is admirable. I know everyone here has good intentions and want to protect people form themselves and bad decision making.

I would just like to hear about the flip side of the coin. Perhaps I need to find a board called : "They Said don't it...but"

The band we hired, is amazing and they only cost slightly less than the catering if you can believe it. And because my Fiance is a singer/songwriter - that is the real show piece of the wedding - so of course we want as many people to see the band as possible. It's basically a private concert at the end of the wedding...do that is the true nature of my dilemma - it seems so wrong to not invite people to see the band.

All that being said, your opinions have be heard and I will certainly take it all under advisement.

So you are planning on spending almost as much money on entertainment as you are on food, then trying to justify tiering your guest list so everyone can see the band? Let us know how that works out. Here are some cautionary tales:

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1057299/share-your-story-here-tiered-inconsistent-hosting/p1

JediElizabeth · October 2015

The catering/venue is supposed to be about half your budget, so I'm extra curious about your band. Is it someone people across the country would know, or someone local?

Here's the thing: if you have a local band that no one knows but you love, not everyone will be as excited to see them as you are. People will be offended, and that will not be offset by seeing a good-but-not-famous band.

If you have a well known band that would explain why you're still inviting them, you're going to look like a spoiled brat who would rather spend thousands on a band for your wedding than properly host your guests. The more famous, the more intense this feeling will be.

If you're going to put your money into luxuries (and a band that costs almost as much as catering is certainly a luxury!), make sure you take care of ALL your guests, and do it well. Otherwise you'll come off as flaunting money without caring for guests, which does not seem like something you're trying to do.

banana468 · October 2015

I'm not understanding the concept that the entertainment is worth so much to the couple that their guests aren't....

redoryx · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:

My Fiance and I were struggling with the catering costs for the wedding because of the size of our guest list and feeling obligated to invite family over friends. we decided that when it came to our budget, the entertainment for our reception was far more important than our guest list.

FTFY

thisismynickname2 · October 2015

You wanted a story from someone who's done it. I haven't done it, but I've been invited to a tiered reception. (Posted my story on another tiered thread too.)

Basically, we are loose acquaintances of these people and thought we were invited to just a separate party to celebrate the fact that they got married. Nope, it was the dancing-only part of their actual reception. They'd held their reception dinner at an upscale Irish bar, in the private dining area, so when we were invited to "a bar" it didn't tip us off. We showed up in jeans, felt horribly underdressed and awkward, and felt awkward that we had to pay for our drinks when clearly the A-listers did not. Oh, and we didn't get a thank-you card for the gift card we'd gotten them either.

NEWS FLASH: No one wants to "celebrate your wedding" with you as much as you think they do especially if they are "loose friends." Weddings happen every day, every weekend, of the year. Not a single person is "special" for following the societal norms of the past hundreds if not thousands of years. A tiered reception so that you can invite more people to "celebrate" just reeks of self-centeredness. Oh, you got married, whoopdidoo!

AdventureisCalling · October 2015

I am going to try a different perspective, just for your mind to chew on.

You stated in one place that while you were paying for the whole thing, you felt "obligated" to invite "quite a compliment" of "Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins." If you weren't related to these people, would they still be on your invite list? Would they still trump the hockey friends, etc? In my case, there are family members that I see maybe once a year that I decided NOT to invite because my bonds with friends was stronger. I am certainly not referring to immediate family, but extended family that you are inviting out of obligation as opposed to a true desire for them to be there are your ceremony.

Second, in the same vein as the poster that said "If you had to change your evening reception to a BBQ to invite these people, would you do that and give up your evening reception," think about if you cancelled your band and got a DJ, but could have your evening reception with everyone. Does that scenario make you happier or less happy than having the great band without the additional guests. If the band is important, then you invite less guests, and if the guests are more important, you invite them to everything, host them properly, and find other options for the entertainment that are more cost effective.

In any event, I tend to agree that I would be very hurt if I was invited to a "partial" party. Good luck with everything!

emmaaa · October 2015

The way I see it is, this is rude no matter how you look at it. You should just have the band play another time and invite people to come hang out then. A wedding is not the time to invite people you could only give 2 shits about.

frenchiekin · October 2015

emmaaa said:

The way I see, this is rude no matter how you look at it. You should just have the band play another time and invite people to come hang out then. A wedding is not the time to invite people you could only give 2 shits about.

This. I don't understand the need to invite everyone you know to the wedding, at whatever cost (in this case, tiering them). If they are loose acquaintances and not people you would truly want to witness your wedding, why do you feel such a need to invite them to the last part of the reception and risk offending them? I promise, these people are not going to be let down by not being invited to your wedding. As another PP said, the whole world is not waiting on pins and needles to be invited to your wedding. Everyone knows people need to stop their guest list somewhere. I would actually feel really awkward being invited to the wedding of an acquaintance... weddings to me are more personal than that. I would see it as a gift grab or as the couple just wanting to fill up the party because OMG PARTY. Even worse if I get there and realize I was a second-string guest.

Re: the gift grab statement, you mentioned that you wouldn't expect gifts from your B-list, but that doesn't really matter. People will feel obligated to bring them whether you expect them or not.

TrixieJess · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:
I do appreciate the feedback - honestly - and I'm not at all surprised by the responses. I do understand this is an etiquette board - and that's what people want to push - good etiquette. That is admirable. I know everyone here has good intentions and want to protect people form themselves and bad decision making.

I would just like to hear about the flip side of the coin. Perhaps I need to find a board called : "They Said don't it...but"

The band we hired, is amazing and they only cost slightly less than the catering if you can believe it. And because my Fiance is a singer/songwriter - that is the real show piece of the wedding - so of course we want as many people to see the band as possible. It's basically a private concert at the end of the wedding...do that is the true nature of my dilemma - it seems so wrong to not invite people to see the band.

All that being said, your opinions have be heard and I will certainly take it all under advisement.

You want Wedding Bee if you are looking for bad idea validation. It sounds like a better corner of the Internet for you.

JediElizabeth · October 2015

TrixieJess said:

Knottie94657783 said:
I do appreciate the feedback - honestly - and I'm not at all surprised by the responses. I do understand this is an etiquette board - and that's what people want to push - good etiquette. That is admirable. I know everyone here has good intentions and want to protect people form themselves and bad decision making.

I would just like to hear about the flip side of the coin. Perhaps I need to find a board called : "They Said don't it...but"

The band we hired, is amazing and they only cost slightly less than the catering if you can believe it. And because my Fiance is a singer/songwriter - that is the real show piece of the wedding - so of course we want as many people to see the band as possible. It's basically a private concert at the end of the wedding...do that is the true nature of my dilemma - it seems so wrong to not invite people to see the band.

All that being said, your opinions have be heard and I will certainly take it all under advisement.
You want Wedding Bee if you are looking for bad idea validation. It sounds like a better corner of the Internet for you.

This is terrible advice. There's no reason for us to push people into bad ideas, or toward the places where they will be validated.

Do not go somewhere where people will validate your bad ideas. Listen to those who offer critique, think critically about it, and selflessly about your guests, then make a decision which balances your wants for your wedding with guest comfort: in this case, either a larger wedding without the expensive entertainment (or tiered hosting), or a small one with the band.

jacques27 · October 2015

You know, to some extent, I can at least appreciate when a person is self aware enough to realize they really just want blind validation and aren't throwing a hissy. That said, still a remarkably bad idea and this isn't the forum for blind validation of bad ideas, so you chose poorly on that front. The only possible way I can see this working, and even then I'm not entirely sure, is if you completely separate it from your wedding (by that I mean ceremony and reception). You have an early afternoon wedding, do cake, lunch, have a dj or iPod if you want dancing at your reception, and then your wedding is completely done. Then you treat your concert as an ENTIRELY seperate event much later that night. Seperate invites on different stationery, no mention of it in your wedding invites, different venue, no wedding dress or suit, no wedding decor, nothing wedding related like a bouquet toss cause that should be done at your actual reception. And even in those circumstances I'm not entirely sure. That said, I can say that I have been subject to a tiered invite and any thoughts I have about how nice it is to be included are overshadowed by the additional thoughts of "why am i not special enough to actually see my friend get married?" Most people understand budget limitations, but they don't appreciate you making it plainly obvious just where they rank in the hierarchy. If you think no one cares about seeing their friends actually get married and only care about the party, you must hang with a pretty self-absorbed shallow crowd, because that is not universal at all.

kvruns · October 2015

I haven't read responses but I'm sure other PPs have it covered on why this is a bad idea. If you want a personal story.....

H has a friend from college who we see when we go to activities at this other mutual friend's house but we don't really plan activities with him ourselves (and likewise he doesn't invite us to things either). Uninvited friend is A, mutual friend is B. Mutual friend B was invited to the wedding, and I guess convos about the upcoming wedding took place between A and B. A assumed he was invited and I think B assumed A was also (or who knows, just my guess). Anyway at one point we're hanging with B and he's like yea I was talking to A about the wedding and he was confused as to when it is so you might want to straighten him out. I just kind of looked at my H like umm he's not invited. We talked about it later and I'm like you need to straighten it out, which of course is awkward telling someone they're not invited but at the same time afraid they might show up and we don't have a place for them if we don't say anything.

H is like well he can just come after dinner and stuff, just have some beers it is no big deal. I was like umm that's rude because I would be hurt to be told you can just come to the end but you're not invited to the rest and why would you want to show up like that. I told H I wasn't cool with it at all but apparently he texted something saying if you were planning to crash the wedding it would be ok after 8pm (or something along those lines). Friend A actually did come, sometime after dinner, I have no idea when, talked to him, gave us a card/check, etc.

I still feel sooo embarrassed about this even though H is the one who did it (and really the whole you sort of invited yourself thing). I hated writing that thankyou note because it was a Very generous check and he was invited just as a crasher so to speak. I felt weird seeing him at another event later too, perhaps I'm the only one who feels weird about it and none of the guys care but it bugs me still.

TL:DR. Don't do this, my H did and I'm still embarrassed by it.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Everyone about covered it. Good for you for checking but going off the tone of your posts sounds like you are going to do it anyway. Your friends will remember your wedding not as the wedding with a great band but rather the wedding they got invited to but didn't get to see the ceremony or eat the dinner so were invited to only bring a gift. Regardless if you don't want them to people will. And that's how it looks.

Don't do it. Just because you know people doesn't mean you need to invite them to your wedding. People really do understand.

ShesSoCold · October 2015

I've said this before, but I'll say it again.

Most people will get married in their lifetime. Most of these people will have budgets for these weddings. People understand that you can't invite every. single. person. ever to your wedding and most will not be upset if they're not invited (especially if you're not close!). What most people won't understand, is being treated poorly and rudely.

holyguacamole79 · October 2015

This thread title has me craving meatloaf.

CMGragain · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:

If weddings are supposed to be the events that the bride and groom want to celebrate their marriage, then why do we have to follow all these etiquette rules that don't resonate with us.

SIB-------------------------------------------------------

What do you mean by "all these etiquette rules"? There really aren't very many. Here is a simple list:

Ceremony:
1. There must be a chair for every guest.
2. Every guest who is invited to the ceremony must also be invited to the reception.

Reception:
1. There must be a chair for every guest. (Same as ceremony)
2. The couple must greet each guest personally and thank them for coming to their wedding.
3. Food and drink must be provided by the host. This can be as simple as cake and punch in the afternoon, or a full dinner with open bar. (No cash bars!)
4. All guests must be treated equally. No special treatment for certain guests.

That is all. Anything else is not etiquette, but tradition. There is some etiquette involved with the wording of the wedding invitation. (The bride and groom never directly take credit for hosting their own wedding on the invitation. The invitation is a simple note from the hosts to he guests, telling them who,what, when and where.) I will be happy to help you with proper wording, if you like. There can be no proper wording for something that is so improper as a tiered reception.

Knottie94657783 · October 2015

Hi All,

I appreciate the folks that gave advice, and critiqued the idea of a "Wedding Crasher Invite" as opposed to criticizing me (calling me names, suggested i'm spoiled, suggesting i'm rude, suggesting I will carry out "asshole" behavior, or that i'm devoid of proper manners) I did ask for constructive criticism and when I got it, it was super helpful. This other stuff was expected but certainly unappreciated. There is a way to provide excellent advice and to get your point across firmly without name calling and labeling.

I also appreciate this last comment about Etiquette and how simple and to the point it is to say that it's best just to treat all the guests that same. (Thanks CM Gragain, that is actually the best way to say it) Perhaps you can private message me with those suggested wedding invite wordings since, point in fact, we are hosting our own wedding and paying for it as well - and I've never heard that the Bride and Groom aren't to take credit for hosting their own wedding. But I think I see why that could look awkward.

This post has been a great exercise. I have certainly learned that as a person i'm more laid back and less easily offended by some things, and that some people are greatly offended by those same things. It's not my intent to hurt any of my guests feelings or treat anyone badly. But I also know in my heart that we know people that would enjoy such an invitation. But there are probably an equal amount who would not.

I'm sure my fiance and I will talk it about it some more and decide what's right for us. I'll be sure to let everyone know how it works out and what we do in the end. If we don't do it, i'll be the first person to thank you, and if we do and it doesn't work out, i'll be sure to come back with my tail between my legs and let you tell me "I told you so". And if we do it, and it does work out then I guess i'll let you know that too.

CMGragain · October 2015

If you do it, and it doesn't work out, you will never know. Your guests are your friends and family, and they won't want to hurt your feelings by telling you what a bad idea a tiered reception is. We are here to tell you the honest truth - what they might be thinking, but are afraid to tell you.
We will be happy to help you plan a beautiful wedding that makes everybody happy. I PMed you with the wording for the invitation.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:
Hi All,

I appreciate the folks that gave advice, and critiqued the idea of a "Wedding Crasher Invite" as opposed to criticizing me (calling me names, suggested i'm spoiled, suggesting i'm rude, suggesting I will carry out "asshole" behavior, or that i'm devoid of proper manners) I did ask for constructive criticism and when I got it, it was super helpful. This other stuff was expected but certainly unappreciated. There is a way to provide excellent advice and to get your point across firmly without name calling and labeling.

I also appreciate this last comment about Etiquette and how simple and to the point it is to say that it's best just to treat all the guests that same. (Thanks CM Gragain, that is actually the best way to say it) Perhaps you can private message me with those suggested wedding invite wordings since, point in fact, we are hosting our own wedding and paying for it as well - and I've never heard that the Bride and Groom aren't to take credit for hosting their own wedding. But I think I see why that could look awkward.

This post has been a great exercise. I have certainly learned that as a person i'm more laid back and less easily offended by some things, and that some people are greatly offended by those same things. It's not my intent to hurt any of my guests feelings or treat anyone badly. But I also know in my heart that we know people that would enjoy such an invitation. But there are probably an equal amount who would not.

I'm sure my fiance and I will talk it about it some more and decide what's right for us. I'll be sure to let everyone know how it works out and what we do in the end. If we don't do it, i'll be the first person to thank you, and if we do and it doesn't work out, i'll be sure to come back with my tail between my legs and let you tell me "I told you so". And if we do it, and it does work out then I guess i'll let you know that too.

You probably won't know if it works out if you do this though because most people will not tell you to your face that what you're doing is rude. Your friends and family will smile politely at you and say "whatever you want" and will talk about you / your decision behind your back.

These women are simply trying to help you host your guests well so you won't have to be the topic of discussion.

southernbelle0915 · October 2015

"We know people that would enjoy such an invitation..."

Oh really? And when 100% of posters said they'd be offended, you're like "oh, well we KNOW our guests and are doing it anyway." Mmmkay. Then why did you post the question? Like I said in a previous post, because validation.

Look, my friends probably think I'm OK with cash bars, tiered receptions, honeyfunds, etc. Because I've been to weddings with all of those things and I didn't tell the hosts I was offended. Well, I'm not OK with any of those things. Moral: you may think you're a mind reader but you aren't. You yourself said you're not even close to these people. So go ahead and risk offending them because you got a cool band.

MobKaz · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:

I do appreciate the feedback - honestly - and I'm not at all surprised by the responses. I do understand this is an etiquette board - and that's what people want to push - good etiquette. That is admirable. I know everyone here has good intentions and want to protect people form themselves and bad decision making.

I would just like to hear about the flip side of the coin. Perhaps I need to find a board called : "They Said don't it...but"

The band we hired, is amazing and they only cost slightly less than the catering if you can believe it. And because my Fiance is a singer/songwriter - that is the real show piece of the wedding - so of course we want as many people to see the band as possible. It's basically a private concert at the end of the wedding...do that is the true nature of my dilemma - it seems so wrong to not invite people to see the band.

All that being said, your opinions have be heard and I will certainly take it all under advisement.

I always thought the ceremony, the point of the entire day, was the REAL showpiece. Because without the ceremony, the day is, well, just a concert then.

And OP, to my initial question regarding your use of the word "subsidized" bar......are guests paying for any portion of their drinks?

drunkenwitch · October 2015

1) what in the bloody blue blazes is going on with all the tiered reception threads. Either it's a very dedicated troll or a horrifying new trend.

2) who on earth raised the people who think this is "a fantabulous idea"?

3) I'm going to go call my mom and thank her for showing me how to be a good hostess

MGP · October 2015

Can I bring up something that has not yet been addressed? Many questions about tiered hosting come up due to budget. As a second tier guest I would most definitely be offended with an invite, but honestly as a first tier guest I would be as well. To discuss round numbers if a couple could afford to host 100 guests at $100/pp (total $10K) but chooses to host 100 for dinner at $50/pp and then 250 for the cake and dance at $20/pp (also total $10K) either way I am going to be pretty pissed off. Admittedly I know that as a guest if I am hosted properly I have no room to complain but something doesn't sit right with me. Other people are not being hosted properly. If I am important enough to make your first cut I should be hosted at or near the couple's highest level of affordability (cake and punch, multicourse dinner and open bar, or whatever in between that may be). I shouldn't have to eat dry chicken so people you don't even like can have a piece of cake. And I sure as hell better not have to pay for my own drinks so you can afford to have a higher head count to increase your ROI on gifts. Sorry not sorry.

For the life of me I cannot understand why people have such issues with making tough guest list decisons and host less people equally. Seems like a no brainer to me.

kimmiinthemitten · October 2015

Okay I'll play along because we all probably have some prospective guests that aren't interested in the ceremony. Who are mine? I'm not sure but I can guess. But what I do know is that if I invite them properly, they can choose to attend the reception only. If I decide for them that they will be tiered, then I've no longer treated them like an adult who can prioritize their own wants and schedule and have pigeon holed them into what I think they want. I'd also like to add my perspective as a guest. I was basically raised by wolves and learned manners as a young adult. When I was 21 and dumb I was the date of a guest at a tiered reception. We walked in. All of my dates friends were seated at their round table. We went to the bar, got our drinks and then walked back and stood behind a couple of people who were seated so we could join in on the discussion. There was nowhere for us to sit, or set our drinks or put down my purse. Even then, mannerless me kept thinking 'well this is awkward as hell.' You know why, because it was. ETA Even more telling, I have NO idea who my date/host was....I just remember feeling weird about the whole thing.

JellyBean52513 · October 2015

There's a really simple way to answer the OP that takes all other posts into consideration: if you have to ask for the right way to word something, it's because there is no right way to word it, it just shouldn'y be said.

T19103 · October 2015

In some countries, this is the norm. You are expected to invite certain people to certain parts of the wedding and no one is offended. In the USA, however, I would not recommend it. Invite everyone to the whole wedding and scale down your festivities.

It is NOT RUDE to invite only close friends/close family to your legal ceremony if you are having a small religious wedding or civil ceremony at a courthouse.
It is NOT RUDE to have a party to celebrate your wedding on a completely different day. To this event you may invite anyone you like even if they were not invited to the wedding. This can be done after you return from your honeymoon.

MobKaz · October 2015

Knottie94657783 said:

Hi All,

I appreciate the folks that gave advice, and critiqued the idea of a "Wedding Crasher Invite" as opposed to criticizing me (calling me names, suggested i'm spoiled, suggesting i'm rude, suggesting I will carry out "asshole" behavior, or that i'm devoid of proper manners) I did ask for constructive criticism and when I got it, it was super helpful. This other stuff was expected but certainly unappreciated. There is a way to provide excellent advice and to get your point across firmly without name calling and labeling.

I also appreciate this last comment about Etiquette and how simple and to the point it is to say that it's best just to treat all the guests that same. (Thanks CM Gragain, that is actually the best way to say it) Perhaps you can private message me with those suggested wedding invite wordings since, point in fact, we are hosting our own wedding and paying for it as well - and I've never heard that the Bride and Groom aren't to take credit for hosting their own wedding. But I think I see why that could look awkward.

This post has been a great exercise. I have certainly learned that as a person i'm more laid back and less easily offended by some things, and that some people are greatly offended by those same things. It's not my intent to hurt any of my guests feelings or treat anyone badly. But I also know in my heart that we know people that would enjoy such an invitation. But there are probably an equal amount who would not.

I'm sure my fiance and I will talk it about it some more and decide what's right for us. I'll be sure to let everyone know how it works out and what we do in the end. If we don't do it, i'll be the first person to thank you, and if we do and it doesn't work out, i'll be sure to come back with my tail between my legs and let you tell me "I told you so". And if we do it, and it does work out then I guess i'll let you know that too.

I have to wonder if this post has indeed been a "great exercise" or folly for you. In reading your brief history, you have managed to hit upon every hot button. You were glad you increased the size of your wedding party because it's been helpful to have a larger group of people to assist you with YOUR crafts, shopping, and "logistics". You have advocated for potluck weddings with the disclaimer that it "just needs to be the best darn potluck wedding ever"! PPD's are OK with you because people should not be limited to just one wedding. There is no such thing as rude brides, in your opinion; just a lack of easy going guests. The best and final statement you opine is, "Everyone is ENTITLED" to the wedding they want"!

southernbelle0915 · October 2015

MobKaz said:

Knottie94657783 said:

Hi All,

I appreciate the folks that gave advice, and critiqued the idea of a "Wedding Crasher Invite" as opposed to criticizing me (calling me names, suggested i'm spoiled, suggesting i'm rude, suggesting I will carry out "asshole" behavior, or that i'm devoid of proper manners) I did ask for constructive criticism and when I got it, it was super helpful. This other stuff was expected but certainly unappreciated. There is a way to provide excellent advice and to get your point across firmly without name calling and labeling.

I also appreciate this last comment about Etiquette and how simple and to the point it is to say that it's best just to treat all the guests that same. (Thanks CM Gragain, that is actually the best way to say it) Perhaps you can private message me with those suggested wedding invite wordings since, point in fact, we are hosting our own wedding and paying for it as well - and I've never heard that the Bride and Groom aren't to take credit for hosting their own wedding. But I think I see why that could look awkward.

This post has been a great exercise. I have certainly learned that as a person i'm more laid back and less easily offended by some things, and that some people are greatly offended by those same things. It's not my intent to hurt any of my guests feelings or treat anyone badly. But I also know in my heart that we know people that would enjoy such an invitation. But there are probably an equal amount who would not.

I'm sure my fiance and I will talk it about it some more and decide what's right for us. I'll be sure to let everyone know how it works out and what we do in the end. If we don't do it, i'll be the first person to thank you, and if we do and it doesn't work out, i'll be sure to come back with my tail between my legs and let you tell me "I told you so". And if we do it, and it does work out then I guess i'll let you know that too.

I have to wonder if this post has indeed been a "great exercise" or folly for you. In reading your brief history, you have managed to hit upon every hot button. You were glad you increased the size of your wedding party because it's been helpful to have a larger group of people to assist you with YOUR crafts, shopping, and "logistics". You have advocated for potluck weddings with the disclaimer that it "just needs to be the best darn potluck wedding ever"! PPD's are OK with you because people should not be limited to just one wedding. There is no such thing as rude brides, in your opinion; just a lack of easy going guests. The best and final statement you opine is, "Everyone is ENTITLED" to the wedding they want"!

"The best darn potluck wedding ever!"

...........said no one ever.

kmmssg · October 2015

@southernbelle0915 - BINGO!

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