Non Traditional Wedding Advice Needed! -Eloping and then having a party?!

Re: Non Traditional Wedding Advice Needed! -Eloping and then having a party?!

• LD1970 member

  

  September 2015

  A prenup is just a contract.  A contract does NOT have to be tied to a marriage.  Go to an attorney now, have a contract protecting you drafted, both of you sign it, start your joint bank accounts, and go on with your plan of getting a condo, paying down debt, etc, minus the wedding/fake wedding issue.

  You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  

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• mileybangerz member

  

  September 2015

  Why you dissin' musicians???
  

  
  

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  September 2015

  mileybangerz said:

  Why you dissin' musicians???
  

  They don't all have your talent!

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• mileybangerz member

  

  September 2015

  STARMOON44 said:

  Why you dissin' musicians???
  

  They don't all have your talent!

  Good point.
  

  
  

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• Esther Morales member

  

  November 2015

  I think you should definitely keep the school loans separate.  He should be responsible for his and you for yours.  

  
  

  That being said, perhaps he can get a lower-cost consolidation and unite all his loans to one do-able monthly payment.  Let him worry about that.  You just worry about yours.

  
  

  If you are starting off your marriage with the stress of $$, then you won't enjoy the process or the wedding.  You don't say how large your wedding would be, but I think you should look into a day event (lower cost) that offers both a ceremony and reception space.  You would save $ by having just a champagne toast, wine with two courses and a cash bar for those who wish to drink.  This is done all the time!   Obviously, you need to trim your guest list, and do keep your bridal party at a minimum--too much fuss, pressure and problems. Determine size of wedding, location and overall budget.  Can you spend $3,000 or $7,000?  More?  Less?  What about income tax returns?  Can your refunds go to pay for that?  If getting married in 2017, try to book your venue in 2016 when the prices are lower, as they go up a little each year.  You're both young so put the house on hold, have a nice wedding and then take the next step to plan and save for a house or condo--this way you get what you want.  You have a lifetime to pay off your school loans, so don't make that an issue right away.  See if you could take advantage of deferrals of any kind.

  
  

  Yes, you can get married in court before hand.  My friend did a courthouse wedding on a Friday morning with just 8 guests, and then the reception on a Saturday with 80 guests.  It turned out just fine.  Don't do it in secret, share that even with your closest buddies.  If you do decide on the court, just have them take photos from their own cameras.  Hire a professional to shoot and just get a CD of edited photos for your reception day.  You can always order an album and thank you cards a few months afterward.  Relax, reboot and take one step at a time!  Best of luck!

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  November 2015

  Esther Morales said:

  I think you should definitely keep the school loans separate.  He should be responsible for his and you for yours.  

  
  

  That being said, perhaps he can get a lower-cost consolidation and unite all his loans to one do-able monthly payment.  Let him worry about that.  You just worry about yours.

  
  

  If you are starting off your marriage with the stress of $$, then you won't enjoy the process or the wedding.  You don't say how large your wedding would be, but I think you should look into a day event (lower cost) that offers both a ceremony and reception space.  You would save $ by having just a champagne toast, wine with two courses and a cash bar for those who wish to drink.  This is done all the time!   Obviously, you need to trim your guest list, and do keep your bridal party at a minimum--too much fuss, pressure and problems. Determine size of wedding, location and overall budget.  Can you spend $3,000 or $7,000?  More?  Less?  What about income tax returns?  Can your refunds go to pay for that?  If getting married in 2017, try to book your venue in 2016 when the prices are lower, as they go up a little each year.  You're both young so put the house on hold, have a nice wedding and then take the next step to plan and save for a house or condo--this way you get what you want.  You have a lifetime to pay off your school loans, so don't make that an issue right away.  See if you could take advantage of deferrals of any kind.

  
  

  Yes, you can get married in court before hand.  My friend did a courthouse wedding on a Friday morning with just 8 guests, and then the reception on a Saturday with 80 guests.  It turned out just fine.  Don't do it in secret, share that even with your closest buddies.  If you do decide on the court, just have them take photos from their own cameras.  Hire a professional to shoot and just get a CD of edited photos for your reception day.  You can always order an album and thank you cards a few months afterward.  Relax, reboot and take one step at a time!  Best of luck!

  To the bolded: No. No. No.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  November 2015

  Esther Morales said:

  I think you should definitely keep the school loans separate.  He should be responsible for his and you for yours.  

  
  

  That being said, perhaps he can get a lower-cost consolidation and unite all his loans to one do-able monthly payment.  Let him worry about that.  You just worry about yours.

  
  

  If you are starting off your marriage with the stress of $$, then you won't enjoy the process or the wedding.  You don't say how large your wedding would be, but I think you should look into a day event (lower cost) that offers both a ceremony and reception space.  You would save $ by having just a champagne toast, wine with two courses and a cash bar for those who wish to drink.  This is done all the time!   Obviously, you need to trim your guest list, and do keep your bridal party at a minimum--too much fuss, pressure and problems. Determine size of wedding, location and overall budget.  Can you spend $3,000 or $7,000?  More?  Less?  What about income tax returns?  Can your refunds go to pay for that?  If getting married in 2017, try to book your venue in 2016 when the prices are lower, as they go up a little each year.  You're both young so put the house on hold, have a nice wedding and then take the next step to plan and save for a house or condo--this way you get what you want.  You have a lifetime to pay off your school loans, so don't make that an issue right away.  See if you could take advantage of deferrals of any kind.

  
  

  Yes, you can get married in court before hand.  My friend did a courthouse wedding on a Friday morning with just 8 guests, and then the reception on a Saturday with 80 guests.  It turned out just fine.  Don't do it in secret, share that even with your closest buddies.  If you do decide on the court, just have them take photos from their own cameras.  Hire a professional to shoot and just get a CD of edited photos for your reception day.  You can always order an album and thank you cards a few months afterward.  Relax, reboot and take one step at a time!  Best of luck!

  Just because your friend DID IT, doesn't mean that it is proper.  The wedding reception is for your wedding guests on your wedding day, after your ceremony.  Any party held on any other day is just a party - not a wedding reception!
  Cash bar?  UGH!
  

  

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