Rants, UOs, IIs, Confessions, etc.

MissKittyDanger · November 2015

@cu97tiger Do you normally bring the pups to holiday meals? We don't have a dog {we have cats} but if we had a dog and knew we'd be away for awhile, I don't see why people would be against it $:\$ is there a possible way to compromise? Like if you bring them, they could spend time outside {pending weather is okay obviously} ?

cu97tiger · November 2015

MissKittyDanger said:

@cu97tiger Do you normally bring the pups to holiday meals? We don't have a dog {we have cats} but if we had a dog and knew we'd be away for awhile, I don't see why people would be against it $:\$ is there a possible way to compromise? Like if you bring them, they could spend time outside {pending weather is okay obviously} ?

We brought them last year, but I don't think my BILs parents were there... so two less people. They aren't really outdoor dogs, so I wouldn't leave them out there for more than 15 minutes by themselves. Not because they are speshul snowflakes, but because they might tear up the yard. When they are in the house with people, they don't get into things, but with that many people, they would definitely be in the way and take up space. I get it, but it's sad.

Swazzle · November 2015

@cu97tiger - It is an UO on this thread, woman!

Peaseblossom55 · November 2015

UO: Apparently- I am happy I changed my last name. I have a brother anyway, but I really enjoy my new last name and sharing that with H. I never liked the sound of my first and last name together either so that might be part of it.

I have no dogs just cats, so I can't imagine really how I would feel about handling a dog.

AuroraRose41 · November 2015

@futuremrshistorian thank you. It definitely does hurt. When she found out that he was my ex, she freaked out, and I calmed her down and told her I wanted her to be happy, and I wanted him to be happy too (I broke up with him but I had no ill will toward him), and that if they made each other happy, then I was happy for them. I meant every word, and R and I have tried our best to hang out with both of them and show that we support them. They have invited us to parties they have thrown and we have done the same, and we always seemed to have a good time. In fact, I thought he might be over me since he had her and we seemed to all be on good terms. But R has commented that he has caught him staring at me, and that he thinks I was the one that got away from him, so maybe not.

Also, another confession related to this: I broke up with him so that I could date R. R (and now you guys) are the only ones who know. I never cheated on him though, but I realized I had feelings for R that I just didn't have for him, and I didn't think it was fair to him either. I truly meant that I wanted him to be happy too, and with someone who would be happy to be with him.

jenjen047 · November 2015

@futuremrshistorian - I totally agree. I think it's ridiculous to plan your wedding around that! And she pushed it back a whole year in order to do that! They got engaged in June and couldn't plan it in time for this October so are doing it next October. WTF? I care much more about being married to my FI than I do about what date we get married.

beachyone15 · November 2015

UO: I never thought about my last name defining me or have ever felt like I would miss it. It's just a name. I'm still the same person no matter what name I have. Funny thing though, my brother is having a harder time getting used to it. He bought tickets for our family the other day and put down my maiden name by accident.

[Deleted User] · November 2015

@TwoDimes - She's my neighbor, but we are always hanging out with each other. I didn't clarify that. She is not just a random neighbor. LOL Since I will be holding and baby-sitting, I am one of the people that needs to get vaccinated. MY BAD on that.

labro · November 2015

@GoldenPenguin i2i on marriage by the way. I do believe it takes work to maintain your relationship, but it's kind of like working out/eating well/whatever. If you stick with it and do a little every day, it becomes a habit, and I dunno. I never had one of those "OMG, this is forever, what am I going to do???" anxiety freakout type moments either.

labro · November 2015

@beachyone15 See, I don't know, my last name does define me. I grew up having BIG family reunions with my grandpa's extended family and it really meant something to be a LASTNAME. Like we had t-shirts and everything. So my last name was always a big part of my identity growing up. Plus it's unique. I went from being one of 5 people in the US with my first and last name, to being one of over 2,000 people who share my new last name and my first name. It just feels like I lost something special, even though I'm the same person I always was, I'm no longer the same name so when someone first meets me or even when I write my name. It just feels very different. It isn't even a "Omg, nobody is carrying the name to the next generation" because I have a lot of male cousins with my last name, but it's still something that always felt special.

I'm just going to go ahead and award this to my whiny self today.

jenjen047 · November 2015

@labro - I think everything you are saying is valid. Would you and/or H be open to him taking your last name? I have a friend who did this.

[Deleted User] · November 2015

@labro - I don't think you're being whiny at all. Names are one of the most important parts of who we are, and you are perfectly entitled to feel however you want about yours!

bethsmiles · November 2015

UO: Like @beachyone15 I don't feel any particular attachment to my last name. I did ask FI his thoughts and he said, I don't care what you do, you don't need the same last name as me to be my family which I thought was sweet. I'm going to change my name just because my name is so common and boring and I like FI's more.

AlPacina · November 2015

@jenjen047 - Well, damn. Maybe if that's the case, then her plan is fine, but I think she would have at least told me if it was deadline related. That's a ridiculous timeline for a caterer though. Like they need 4 months to order ingredients or something.

@AuroraRose41 - I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, that you broke up with your ex for R. It's a million times better than continuing to date your ex and having feelings for someone else! Not the kind of info that needs spreading around, by any means. Just wanted to give you a little support in that decision, haha.

@labro - When did "i2i" start? I feel like I've only been seeing that on here recently.

@untouchablets - Maybe I'd believe you if you had said it first. Now it just sounds like you're trying to suck up.

labro · November 2015

I want to live somewhere like Germany where my dog is welcome anywhere and everywhere please and thank you very much. Like, I'd totally set up a baby gate and keep her in my office cube with me.

AuroraRose41 · November 2015

Also, because somehow I missed most of the first page:

re: craft beer. Give me all of it. I just tried an awesome pumpkin beer last night, and my favorite beer in the world is a craft Irish Red.

@jenjen047 how is she spending $2200 on invitations? Is she ordering them from Bella Figura or something? FI and I wanted custom letterpress (we have a nerdy design but wanted it to be formal still, and letterpress was the best way to accomplish that), but weren't willing to pay more than $800 for them. After some research, I found them for 80 for $790 including custom design work and an rsvp card. The person we hired also does calligraphy and we might spring for that as well.

@bethsmiles I hope the plan B works and you get your period. It should, but I know how scary that is. Also, I don't understand people who freak out over the timing of "X might happen". You know what, there is also a possibility that it won't happen! Just another II.

labro · November 2015

@TwoDimes I'm not serious enough to actually research the process of a legal name change without marriage/divorce so I guess this is more a vent/confession. I don't know if I'd want to go through the process again either. It wasn't THAT bad but I've already been advertising my new name at work for a year.

Confession - My voicemail still says "You've reached the voice mailbox of LaBro MaidenName" and I've been told three times about it from various family members and friends and I refuse to change it.

AlPacina · November 2015

labro said:

I want to live somewhere like Germany where my dog is welcome anywhere and everywhere please and thank you very much. Like, I'd totally set up a baby gate and keep her in my office cube with me.

labro · November 2015

Confession - I spent around $1200 on wedding stationary (invites, STDs, accommodations inserts, menus, programs, escort cards)...AND just over $3000 on wedding flowers. Two of the most "wasteful" things on TK apparently since "everyone throws them away" and "they die". I REGRET NOTHING!

beachyone15 · November 2015

@labro - I understand. I mean, in a way, you will always be that even if your name is different now. I don't think you're being a SS at all! Just because it's not something I can relate to doesn't mean your feelings are invalid

Swazzle · November 2015

@labro - I totally get what you're saying re: last name even though I don't have the same feelings about my own. I went from a pretty uncommon one to an extremely uncommon one and I had no real desire to keep it. I'm also not very close with my dad or his side of the family so that could also have something to do with it. As difficult as the convo might be with your H and as big of a pain in the ass it'd be to change back or do a hypen, if it's something you feel strongly about I think you should do it. Your name is a huge deal!

jenjen047 · November 2015

@alpacina - Her caterer is obviously planting a garden and raising chickens specifically for her wedding, duh! She needs to know how many seeds to plant and chicken eggs to buy so they have enough food come wedding day.

@aurorarose41 - I have no idea! Her guest list is 232 so it's probably somewhere in the ballpark of 120-150 actual invitations. Not sure if that includes STDs, RSVPs cards, etc. Probably not.

AlPacina · November 2015

jenjen047 said:

@alpacina - Her caterer is obviously planting a garden and raising chickens specifically for her wedding, duh! She needs to know how many seeds to plant and chicken eggs to buy so they have enough food come wedding day.

This.......... is awesome.

Although I'm thinking you'd have to buy chickens to lay the eggs. Unless eggs DO come first?

(Side note, did you read about the guy that spent six months making a chicken sandwich from scratch? THAT'S hardcore. LINK )

labro · November 2015

@jenjen047 Those eggs aren't going to hatch themselves you know! I'm dying over all of this!

AuroraRose41 · November 2015

@labro yup we are spending about $3k on flowers too, and all together our stationary costs will be in the $1200-1500 range (depends if we do programs and welcome bag itineraries etc). But $2200 for invitation suites alone is a little much for me personally. I did look at invitations that were in that price range and found similar options for much, much less with a little research, so that seems a little wasteful to me since I know better deals for the same thing can be had normally. Then again, that's coming from the girl who spent $1100 on her wedding shoes...

jenjen047 · November 2015

@labro - I think those prices are totally reasonable. Our invites and STDs came to $575 and we still have to buy escort cards, programs, and thank you cards. But there is a big difference between $1,200 for all paper products and $2,200 for just invitations. I plan to keep one of our invitations (in fact I'm currently in the midst of trying to find a nice sterling silver invitation frame and can't find anything I like....suggestions are welcome!).

MissKittyDanger · November 2015

labro said:

Confession - I spent around $1200 on wedding stationary (invites, STDs, accommodations inserts, menus, programs, escort cards)...AND just over $3000 on wedding flowers. Two of the most "wasteful" things on TK apparently since "everyone throws them away" and "they die". I REGRET NOTHING!

As long as you love them, that's fine. I specifically went for fake flowers so I could keep them! I saved on stationary because a friend of mine makes them through her business

untouchablets · November 2015

@swazzle count me in to your school of thought re: pets going to events. This is also not directed at anyone here BTW. I just really hate when people make it a big deal. Dogs are dogs, they don't know what holidays are and they are perfectly fine staying with other people or being boarded for a couple of days. Yes it's an annoying expense but that's it. My roommate brings her dogs everywhere she can and it annoys everyone because they're in the way, noisy, and they don't have a reason to be there. Plus, dogs can't generalize so some of them might be perfectly well behaved at home and the when they go somewhere they suddenly don't respond to "sit" because they don't know it means the same thing outside the house as it does inside. You all know dogs are my LIFE but there is a time and a place to have them around and it's usually not huge social gatherings or crowded public places.

labro · November 2015

@jenjen047 I actually ended up getting a really pretty double sided glass shadowbox from Michael's. I filled the inside with wedding flowers that I dried (because you can DRY real flowers and keep them forever and ever too), and on one side of the glass box I placed a wedding photo and on the other side I placed our invitation. It's really pretty! I'll take a photo and send it to you later. It's not exactly a sterling silver frame...but you know, it's nice!

labro · November 2015

MissKittyDanger said:

labro said:

Confession - I spent around $1200 on wedding stationary (invites, STDs, accommodations inserts, menus, programs, escort cards)...AND just over $3000 on wedding flowers. Two of the most "wasteful" things on TK apparently since "everyone throws them away" and "they die". I REGRET NOTHING!

As long as you love them, that's fine. I specifically went for fake flowers so I could keep them! I saved on stationary because a friend of mine makes them through her business

That's nice. I kept my flowers too by drying them. They're gorgeous and I turned them into about a gazillion different craft projects.

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