Dresses for 50 yr. old bride

kasasr1024 · September 2015

I'm the same way! I can't quite wear a 16 but sometimes 16W or higher doesn't work because I have no hips! Good luck!

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

Two more stores, about 20 more dresses (both actual wedding dresses and 'special occasion dresses'). Harrumph.

The wedding dresses I like are tragic on me. Because I have a very short torso, they would require epic alterations to work. And I didn't like any of them enough for them to be worth that much trouble and expense and risk of completely not coming out right.

The 'special occasion' dresses I like stylewise do not come in ivory. Or don't come in my size. Or both.

So I'm going to go to 2 more stores that were recommended to me, but am leaning strongly to having one made. Which seems completely mad. I am not an unskilled shopper, I can shop for work clothes off the rack that suit me fine, and have also successfully purchased things to wear to other folk' weddings. It's not like I don't know how to dress myself. After spending 30 minutes on the phone last night with a nice lady at soulmatesdress.com, finding out that none of the (lovely) styles I like are available in ivory in my size, and having had that conversation over and flippin' over again, and clicking through thousands of MOB styles to see if any of the ones I like are available in 14/16 in ivory... the hell with it.

I see a couple of custom dressmakers in Baltimore on the web - Jill Andrews and Shifra Green. Anyone have any other experience or knowledge?

cgss11 · September 2015

Have you tried on any dresses that you think you don't like? I think you're pigeon holing yourself with your list of things you like/need. You may be surprised at what actually looks best on you, when you try them on.

I would suggest going into a place and giving minor requests, budget obviously, size, straps preferred. Then let the stylist pull dresses and try them all on whether you like them on the hanger or not.

justsie · September 2015

cgss11 said:

Have you tried on any dresses that you think you don't like? I think you're pigeon holing yourself with your list of things you like/need. You may be surprised at what actually looks best on you, when you try them on. I would suggest going into a place and giving minor requests, budget obviously, size, straps preferred. Then let the stylist pull dresses and try them all on whether you like them on the hanger or not.

This is what I think too, I think this poster gave good advice.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

I have tried many that I had no interest in. but no strapless. Because no strapless.

I think you think this is a question of me arbitrarily excluding things for fashion whims. Nope. This is about the fact that I have lived in this body long enough to know what is flattering. I am short and plump and I have a short torso. And big boobs. Strapless: no. Sheaths are a style that appeals to me, but they are all fitted too far down the hip, and their lines are so long that I would have to have them massively altered to fit. Also, hot and very unfriendly to a long day of dancing. I tried on a few A line dresses, and they looked like I thought they would: like giant tulle pyramids that I stole from a 25 year old. bleh.

And frankly so little has even come close to fitting in a way that even suggests the dress would be a good idea, there are not really any contenders, just some elements that could work in a different context.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

When I go to the salons, I let them pull out what they like, and I try them on, and my co-shoppers agree with me: the only things that came close to working on my figure were the ones that I picked out.

I don't want: strapless. I don't want a heavy dress or a train. I don't want a giant A-line pyramid of tulle. Every genius wants to put plus size brides in A line dresses, and for someone not very tall, this is completely comical looking. I want something that has a structured top - straps and sleeves, not cut to my waist, not plunging to the waist in back. Straight or slightly flared chiffon skirt, soft, a little flowy, but not a giant meringue. These ideas suit me (to the extent I have found anything to try on) and would work for some of the MOB dresses, except that they are very difficult to find in ivory.

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

LKBBaltimore said:

When I go to the salons, I let them pull out what they like, and I try them on, and my co-shoppers agree with me: the only things that came close to working on my figure were the ones that I picked out.

I don't want: strapless. I don't want a heavy dress or a train. I don't want a giant A-line pyramid of tulle. Every genius wants to put plus size brides in A line dresses, and for someone not very tall, this is completely comical looking. I want something that has a structured top - straps and sleeves, not cut to my waist, not plunging to the waist in back. Straight or slightly flared chiffon skirt, soft, a little flowy, but not a giant meringue. These ideas suit me (to the extent I have found anything to try on) and would work for some of the MOB dresses, except that they are very difficult to find in ivory.

I'm 5'3", size 14 IRL with a 34G cup, I feel you on the backless, strapless bullshit LOL. Part of it for me, is even if the dress is structured to hold the girls up, every time I look down I'm nose deep in cleavage, which is great for FI but not for his Uncle Jeff who has a foot on me!

I found a few dresses I liked through Allure , googled shops that carried the line and called to see if they carried larger sizes. I went to one store that did and had a nice experience. I was told the shop could cut the crinolin layer out of the bottom to make me look less like a cupcake.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

Thank you, KimmieandKoley! I went to 2 salons on Saturday, and fully 90% of the wedding dresses on hand were strapless. Then subtract the dresses that are only available in a sample size of 8, and there were about 15 dresses left, including the one that is $2,500. Ha ha ha ha ha.

There were no petite sizes of any dress on hand of course in either store I visited this weekend. So all the straps were too long. And even though the samples I tried on were 12 - 16, they had weirdly small built in bra cups. I don't wear petites in street clothes, but given how the torsos of wedding dresses have been too long for me every time, that seems like what I would need. ??

I loved several Allure dresses, but I looked terrible in them. I too was told that crinolines could be removed.

Am planning to go to 2 more bridal salons and a couple of big department stores in DC, and if I don't find anything that works, I'll call the dressmakers.

emmaaa · September 2015

LKBBaltimore said:

Thank you, KimmieandKoley! I went to 2 salons on Saturday, and fully 90% of the wedding dresses on hand were strapless. Then subtract the dresses that are only available in a sample size of 8, and there were about 15 dresses left, including the one that is $2,500. Ha ha ha ha ha.

There were no petite sizes of any dress on hand of course in either store I visited this weekend. So all the straps were too long. And even though the samples I tried on were 12 - 16, they had weirdly small built in bra cups. I don't wear petites in street clothes, but given how the torsos of wedding dresses have been too long for me every time, that seems like what I would need. ??

I loved several Allure dresses, but I looked terrible in them. I too was told that crinolines could be removed.

Am planning to go to 2 more bridal salons and a couple of big department stores in DC, and if I don't find anything that works, I'll call the dressmakers.

Yes, remember that the crinoline can be taken out and an A-line dress will look a little more like a sheath but not be tight too far down your waist

julieanne912 · September 2015

A lot of alterations might be what's necessary for your shape and size. I'm 5'3" with larger boobs and I had to do about $600 worth of alterations to my dress to get it to fit great... that included hemming, adding in bra cups, and a whole bunch of other things.

Also, what about strapless dresses where straps could be added for additional support?

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

There is no other shopping activity I have done where I am told over and over that it's not the job of mfgers and stores to attract me with a sufficiently diverse selection of styles and sizes to win my business, but is instead my job to discard my own taste and my understanding of physics to adapt to what is offered. I find this batty. I get why it's happening, but I think it's important to note that this is in fact, batty.

I'm not trying to keep my budget under $500. Size 14 is pretty much the average size for adult female American humans, although I am more buxom than average. More and more weddings are 2nd marriages and weddings of folks who aren't 26 and right out of college.

I have tried on over 20 dresses in 4 stores, both wedding and special occasion. I have looked at thousands of dresses on the web. I have found probably a dozen dresses that I really liked. And of all of those, some were just not going to work on my body, some could not be ordered in ivory, and a remarkable number are not available above a very small size 12 or 14. (based on the measurements supplied)

Not gonna wear a strapless dress. Not gonna try on a strapless dress. Not gonna encourage the business model that refuses to even produce other choices. I am a very pragmatic person, and I can't tell you how many times I have creatively 'made do' with something not of my choosing in various matters of taste. But I am not going to make lemonade out of strapless lemons for my wedding dress. Tacked on sleeves look like ... tacked on sleeves. And most if not all strapless dresses are very structured and 'corsety', or they require a corset to not look like a sack of potatoes. I am not wearing a corset.

I have drafted a custom dress design and am in communication with a dressmaker, and have a few more places to check out, if for no other reason than for due diligence. And if I actually end up getting my dress made, maybe I'll post pics. I appreciate everyone's interest in my predicament, but it never occurred to me that a dress that wasn't half naked, didn't look like Little House on the Prairie ('modest styles') and didn't weigh more than my car would be so very hard to find.

AW3380 · September 2015

Honestly, I think you should have something made. I see my mother going through similar frustrations trying to find something to wear to my wedding. She is in her 60s and wants to wear something age appropriate but not something that looks like her mother would wear. I think the big problem is the bridal industry generally does not cater to the older brides. Many of the women I have known who are around your age and are getting married are usually on their second marriage (at least) and since they went through this once before do not feel the need to wear a bridal gown. They have all worn a white or light colored dress with a jacket over it or just a regular white dress they found in a department store. I am plus size and was worried about finding something that I felt beautiful in but I am also in my 30s so most of the styles still cater to someone my age. I am sure having something made will be more work but I think it will be the best way to find something that matches your vision but doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

AW3380, this is my second marriage, but I'm not quite ready for embalming fluid or a walker, so I would like something to wear that is festive and feminine, just not so darned naked. I don't want a train, or a veil, or 14 bridesmaids, or a toddler strewing rose petals. Just a long ivory dress that makes me feel more bridal than a guest at someone else's wedding. :-)

And if a few more stores don't produce a contender, I will be having one made. Although the fact that I haven't heard back from the dressmaker does not inspire confidence.....

ShesSoCold · September 2015

I don't think you're being picky or dramatic enough.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

Yeah, expecting a dress that fits, has sleeves, doesn't have a train, and doesn't look like it's for a 25 year old or a 75 year old is insanely picky of me. Sorry, my bad.

cgss11 · September 2015

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_cap-sleeve-long-beaded-sequin-gown-061896890_wedding-dresses-sheath-silhouette

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_long-chiffon-a-line-gown-with-flutter-sleeves-9op1233_wedding-dresses-sheath-silhouette

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_petite-3-4-sleeve-sheath-with-beaded-lace-7cwg711_wedding-dresses-sheath-silhouette

climbingsingle · September 2015

LKBBaltimore said:
Yeah, expecting a dress that fits, has sleeves, doesn't have a train, and doesn't look like it's for a 25 year old or a 75 year old is insanely picky of me. Sorry, my bad.

Well, somehow thousands of women of every age and shape are able to find dresses that they love. You can't expect sample sizes to fit perfectly either. They typically don't fit any of us and they need to be altered.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

The only neckline I had not yet tried turned out to be a perfect solution. Halter!! Tried several good candidates in that neckline, then found the dress. Ordered it. Only needs very minor alterations from the size in the picture (hem, shorter straps). So relieved. Thanks for all the constructive suggestions. I was very surprised to be happy with bare arms, but once the support issue was solved, all was good.

Other thing I did that really helped my excellent sales rep was that I wore a dress that I wore to a wedding a couple of years ago, so she could see a silhouette that worked, and she said that was really helpful.

Shout out for Cameo Bridal in Glen Bernie. Ginny and everyone else were wonderful.

STARMOON44 · September 2015

That looks lovely. Glad you've found your dress.

pinupbride6189 · September 2015

LKBBaltimore said:

The only neckline I had not yet tried turned out to be a perfect solution. Halter!! Tried several good candidates in that neckline, then found the dress. Ordered it. Only needs very minor alterations from the size in the picture (hem, shorter straps). So relieved. Thanks for all the constructive suggestions. I was very surprised to be happy with bare arms, but once the support issue was solved, all was good. Other thing I did that really helped my excellent sales rep was that I wore a dress that I wore to a wedding a couple of years ago, so she could see a silhouette that worked, and she said that was really helpful. Shout out for Cameo Bridal in Glen Bernie. Ginny and everyone else were wonderful.

Wonderful! FWIW, I think you need to be nicer to yourself. The way you described yourself in previous posts had me picturing you completely different from your picture. You look beautiful and your dress is gorgeous!

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

Thanks for the kind words, pinupbride6189. This dress is so wonderfully flattering and really comfortable. (note to shorter, full figured brides - halter neckline dresses can be even easier to wear than empire waists).

cgss11 · September 2015

I'm happy you found a dress you are comfortable in and like. However, you could have saved a lot of time and stress had you been more open minded in the beginning. Just a suggestion for future decisions - don't be so stuck on one thing, it clouds your vision.

LKBBaltimore · September 2015

No offense, cgss11, but you don't know what you are talking about. I tried on a range of different styles of dress at 5 different shops before I found this dress, and was open to what sales people wanted me to try. Nothing came close to fitting well enough so that I could even tell if there was anything I liked about the dresses.

There's nothing that makes less sense to me than folks who are deadset on having only a certain style of dress whether it is flattering on them or not. I was open to anything that WAS in fact flattering. However, I have a pretty good idea what isn't going to work on me, not a 6' tall, 120 lb. model.

The only thing I was completely unwilling to consider was strapless dresses. No one showed me any halter necklines until the store where I found this dress. It's not like I saw dresses like this all over and refused to try them on. Far from it. I saw really ornate ball gowns, overly fitted mermaids, and other styles that are not great on someone with a short round torso, by the dozen. And while I understand that alterations can change dresses dramatically, I shop by fit, and if I can't visualize that something will be flattering without fundamentally remaking it, I'm not going to invest more than $1K in a dress that I can't even tell I'll look nice in.

I knew someone was going to explain to me that I was the problem. Thanks.

kimmiinthemitten · September 2015

pinupbride6189 said:

LKBBaltimore said:

The only neckline I had not yet tried turned out to be a perfect solution. Halter!! Tried several good candidates in that neckline, then found the dress. Ordered it. Only needs very minor alterations from the size in the picture (hem, shorter straps). So relieved. Thanks for all the constructive suggestions. I was very surprised to be happy with bare arms, but once the support issue was solved, all was good. Other thing I did that really helped my excellent sales rep was that I wore a dress that I wore to a wedding a couple of years ago, so she could see a silhouette that worked, and she said that was really helpful. Shout out for Cameo Bridal in Glen Bernie. Ginny and everyone else were wonderful.

Wonderful! FWIW, I think you need to be nicer to yourself. The way you described yourself in previous posts had me picturing you completely different from your picture. You look beautiful and your dress is gorgeous!

This, I pictured you as looking old for 50, frumpy and squat to be honest - you may not be a size 2 but I would never have described you as full figured! This dress is extremely flattering and your face gives away your happiness, but I feel like you probably could wear a lot more than you give yourself credit for!

Knottie52923642 · October 2015

I was looking for the same things i found two dresses i like one was strapless i ask if they could add straps and they could. The other had straps but illusion back so i ask if i could buy extra material and if they could cover the illusion with the material they said yes and with it being a low back they could raise the back up to 3 inches. So i would just look for a dress i like and see if they can make adjustments. By the way im 47.

OliveOilsMom · November 2015

Knottie numbers above is a slick vendor, embedding a sales link in her post on a month old thread.

OliveOilsMom · November 2015

@KnotRiley @KnotHolly

KnotRiley · November 2015

@OliveOilsMom just banned them, thank you!

Dresses for 50 yr. old bride

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