Well, I screwed up.
My fiancé asked me to marry him on vacation in October 2014. It was magical.
When I came back I asked my 4 closest friends! Of course they all said yes! The wedding isn't until Aug 2016.
At the time, all 4 friends have been friends for years and, to what I thought, would stand the test of time.
How wrong I was.
Background: I moved from a small city to a much larger city. I met Friend (T) and she introduced me to a lot of people, mainly the friends I asked to be bridesmaids, Friends (A), (AH), and (V).
Now, Time has made a fool of me. (AH) and (V) got into a little feud with (T), BUT they were still civil. If they saw each other on the street they would nod and keep on their route.
More time goes by and (V) and (T) rekindled their friendship, but keeping each other at arms length but they're getting along!
Then (V) and (AH) get into a Huge fight and now don't speak to each other. They're not even civil.
Because I'm Sweden (neutral) to all this, everyone is still friends with me because I do not get myself involved. (AH) and I went to a couple concerts during the summer. The first one we had a Blast! Great times. The second time was nothing short of a nightmare. (AH) invited her friend to which I don't like, (AH) and this girl became drunk and rude and bitchy. Completely ignored me and almost ditched me at the concert. The drive home was as hellish as the concert. (AH) was completely rude, selfish, bitchy, self centered and couldn't be reasoned with.
Our friendship hasn't been the same since.
There were other "incidences" that also chipped away at the friendship, like her dating a Nazi (Yes! A full blown Nazi), started drinking after going to rehab, starting fights with anyone, etc just to name a few.
When I talked to my other friends about (AH) they all said the same thing "She's a bitch when she gets drunk", "She's very selfish", "She will ruin your day". Etc
It seems like there are more people that have a problem with (AH) then people who don't.
Recently, (AH) threw a hissy fit and said some Really horrible and rude things to (T) because (T) didn't want to rekindle the friendship with (AH) when (AH) tried to apologize for all the mean things she did and said.
This was the only time I got involved. I asked (AH) why she said the things she did when (AH) openly admitted what she said to (T) to me. I told her that it was rude and low of her to do that. (AH) didn't want to discuss anything with me and brushed it off and believes she has done nothing wrong. She played it off like she's the victim.
I am now regretting inviting (AH) as a bridesmaid. I want peace at my wedding and I have a bad feeling that she, (AH) will somehow say or do something that will compromise my day. Like I said, there are more people that have a problem with her and our friendship has slowly been dewindling. We don't talk as much anymore, we barely hangout anymore.
When I make a list of the pros and cons of all my friends/bridesmaids. I have Much more pros than cons for (T), (A), and (V).
I can only list a couple of pros for (AH) and a fair amount of cons.
So... My fellow Knotters... How do I politely say to (AH) that she is not only Not a bridesmaid, but not even a guest.
If you need more background, I'll be more than happy to give up more.