It's been a while... DH/FI/SO venting

MegEn1 · November 2015

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

luckya23 · November 2015

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

So.... you HAVE to do HIS laundry??

Nope. Nope. Nope.

ShesSoCold · November 2015

luckya23 said:

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

So.... you HAVE to do HIS laundry??
Nope. Nope. Nope.

This. It's one thing to not like doing something or have trade-off chores between spouses but fuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

MissKittyDanger · November 2015

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

I do all the laundry also, but otherwise there wouldn't be enough of a load if it were JUST mine or JUST his .... do you pre-separate them? I got my H to bring stuff down/up {I live in an apartment building} if it's already set up

PamBeesly524 · November 2015

ShesSoCold said:

luckya23 said:

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

So.... you HAVE to do HIS laundry??
Nope. Nope. Nope.

This. It's one thing to not like doing something or have trade-off chores between spouses but fuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

I actually have friends at work who are shocked that I don't do H's laundry. Uhh...we live in an apartment building where the units are in the basement... I'm not dragging his shit all the way down there and back every damn week. Second, there is stuff in my laundry that can't be dried, etc. and he has no idea which stuff... So he can't do my laundry... How would it be fair that I have to do both of ours all the time? We generally split all chores, etc. (although sometimes he ends up doing more as he is a student and is home more, and is also just really thoughtful about stuff like that.)

Maybe if we had washer/dryer in the unit we could mix our laundry and do it together (if he has a chance to throw it in the washer, I'll toss it all in the dryer... take turns folding, whatever) but given the circumstances there is zero reason why I should be doing his laundry.. He also only does laundry every 2-3 weeks whereas I'm a weekly laundry person. It just MAKES NO SENSE.

madamerwin · November 2015

ShesSoCold said:

luckya23 said:

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

So.... you HAVE to do HIS laundry??
Nope. Nope. Nope.

This. It's one thing to not like doing something or have trade-off chores between spouses but fuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Yeah, no. If H refused to do his laundry (actually, if he flat-out refused to do any chores), it would not fly in my house. Yes, there are chores he dislikes, and there are chores I dislike, but we still split them evenly - taking turns doing cat litter, taking out trash, etc. But we both do our own laundry separately.

If my husband just refused to do his laundry, he would just go without clean clothes until he grew up and made the effort to take care of himself.

lyndausvi · November 2015

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

madamerwin · November 2015

lyndausvi said:

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

I guess my H and I just have a lot of laundry! We only do full loads, and we each usually only have 1-2 loads a week (which usually all happen on Sunday). If I don't have enough for a second load of my own stuff, I either grab some of his clothes, or wash the towels with my whites... I just don't get anyone refusing to do their own laundry.

MissKittyDanger · November 2015

lyndausvi said:

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

This is mainly why ours go together. Especially since it costs separate for laundry .... I hate apartment living.

lyndausvi · November 2015

madamerwin said:

lyndausvi said:

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

I guess my H and I just have a lot of laundry! We only do full loads, and we each usually only have 1-2 loads a week (which usually all happen on Sunday). If I don't have enough for a second load of my own stuff, I either grab some of his clothes, or wash the towels with my whites... I just don't get anyone refusing to do their own laundry.

Yeah, I don't get that either. I get one half is better at the task, might enjoy doing it or like me is just home more to get it done.

For example DH's idea of doing laundry is putting in the washer (on his way out the door for work). It seems to take him a few days to move it over to the dryer. Mostly because after he has been at work for 15 hours he forgot he even started a load. Then another day to pull it out. (again he forgets he even started the process). Folding and putting away might never happen as he is perfectly fine pulling out clothes from the basket to wear.

Now I'm a get the wash all done in a few hours type person. I'm definitely more "in tune" with sounds of the washer and dryer finishing and will just go up and switch the loads.

By default I do more the laundry because I actually get it done in a reasonable amount of time. And get this I PUT THE SHIT AWAY. What a concept?

However, if DH flat out refused to do his own laundry there would be an issue. He can and will do laundry, but his time frame on doing it drives me crazy. There is more then one way to do things so I don't make it a point of contention. It's more like I prefer my way and I'm willing to do it most of the time. Occasionally I will let him do it all.

madamerwin · November 2015

lyndausvi said:

madamerwin said:

lyndausvi said:

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

I guess my H and I just have a lot of laundry! We only do full loads, and we each usually only have 1-2 loads a week (which usually all happen on Sunday). If I don't have enough for a second load of my own stuff, I either grab some of his clothes, or wash the towels with my whites... I just don't get anyone refusing to do their own laundry.

Yeah, I don't get that either. I get one half is better at the task, might enjoy doing it or like me is just home more to get it done.

For example DH's idea of doing laundry is putting in the washer (on his way out the door for work). It seems to take him a few days to move it over to the dryer. Mostly because after he has been at work for 15 hours he forgot he even started a load. Then another day to pull it out. (again he forgets he even started the process). Folding and putting away might never happen as he is perfectly fine pulling out clothes from the basket to wear.

Now I'm a get the wash all done in a few hours type person. I'm definitely more "in tune" with sounds of the washer and dryer finishing and will just go up and switch the loads.

By default I do more the laundry because I actually get it done in a reasonable amount of time. And get this I PUT THE SHIT AWAY. What a concept?

However, if DH flat out refused to do his own laundry there would be an issue. He can and will do laundry, but his time frame on doing it drives me crazy. There is more then one way to do things so I don't make it a point of contention. It's more like I prefer my way and I'm willing to do it most of the time. Occasionally I will let him do it all.

I'll admit, this is me too. I HATE putting things away - clothes, clean dishes, etc. I would much rather hand-wash a sink full of dishes, or do many loads of laundry, than have to put any of it away. Unfortunately, H feels the same way, so we try to switch off on emptying the dishwasher.

I get great satisfaction out of loading the dishwasher, or getting laundry out of the dryer, but from that point on it's torture. I have been trying harder to put clothes away right when they come out of the wash, but it pains me. At this very moment, there is half a basket of clean laundry sitting in our office that I keep meaning to put away, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.

lyndausvi · November 2015

madamerwin said:

lyndausvi said:

madamerwin said:

lyndausvi said:

We combine our laundry. I hate wasting water and electric/gas and prefer to do full loads. Since I'm home more often I mostly do the laundry, which includes DH's. Now he will often throw the laundry in the wash, but he rarely gets past that step. If I didn't do DH's laundry, he would do it himself, but like I said before, I prefer doing full loads. By default I do his too.

DH irons all his chef jackets. I hate ironing in general, I will be damned if I will iron his jackets every day. F'that. Not that he has every asked me to iron. Once he decided to stop having them dry cleaned he took it upon himself to iron, so it's really a non-issue.

I guess my H and I just have a lot of laundry! We only do full loads, and we each usually only have 1-2 loads a week (which usually all happen on Sunday). If I don't have enough for a second load of my own stuff, I either grab some of his clothes, or wash the towels with my whites... I just don't get anyone refusing to do their own laundry.

Yeah, I don't get that either. I get one half is better at the task, might enjoy doing it or like me is just home more to get it done.

For example DH's idea of doing laundry is putting in the washer (on his way out the door for work). It seems to take him a few days to move it over to the dryer. Mostly because after he has been at work for 15 hours he forgot he even started a load. Then another day to pull it out. (again he forgets he even started the process). Folding and putting away might never happen as he is perfectly fine pulling out clothes from the basket to wear.

Now I'm a get the wash all done in a few hours type person. I'm definitely more "in tune" with sounds of the washer and dryer finishing and will just go up and switch the loads.

By default I do more the laundry because I actually get it done in a reasonable amount of time. And get this I PUT THE SHIT AWAY. What a concept?

However, if DH flat out refused to do his own laundry there would be an issue. He can and will do laundry, but his time frame on doing it drives me crazy. There is more then one way to do things so I don't make it a point of contention. It's more like I prefer my way and I'm willing to do it most of the time. Occasionally I will let him do it all.

I'll admit, this is me too. I HATE putting things away - clothes, clean dishes, etc. I would much rather hand-wash a sink full of dishes, or do many loads of laundry, than have to put any of it away. Unfortunately, H feels the same way, so we try to switch off on emptying the dishwasher.

I get great satisfaction out of loading the dishwasher, or getting laundry out of the dryer, but from that point on it's torture. I have been trying harder to put clothes away right when they come out of the wash, but it pains me. At this very moment, there is half a basket of clean laundry sitting in our office that I keep meaning to put away, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.

I've been that way, but I've changed. Like my mom said "the thought of doing the task it much worse and time consuming then the actual task".

For most things she is right. The basket of laundry needing to be put away seems like such a hard and time consuming task, when actually it takes all of 3 minutes to actually put it away.

I now tell myself " Just do it and get it over with"

princessleia22 · November 2015

luckya23 said:

MegEn1 said:

H positively refuses to do any of the following chores:

1) Laundry
2) Cleaning the stove (which he dirties all the time because he heats food too hot and leaves it uncovered)
3) Mopping, though I did convince him to sweep twice
4) Clean out the fridge

Yes, he does almost all of the cooking, but when I'm running out of town for work twice in two weeks it would be nice if he could help out a bit. He doesn't even hide it anymore, when I ask him to do one of the chores he hates he just shakes his head and responses "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Grrr!

So.... you HAVE to do HIS laundry??
Nope. Nope. Nope.

I do all of my and DH's laundry together. He also won't clean the bathrooms.

BUT, he is in charge of cleaning the kitchen. Like, I want to bake some pies tomorrow, so his plans for tonight are coming home from work and cleaning the kitchen for me. And he will do all the dishes after I'm done baking. I haven't had to wash dishes since we made this arrangement 5 years ago. Oh, and he also does all the floors (sweeping, vacuuming, mopping). So, I think it's a very fair trade-off.

TNDancer · November 2015

Laundry is such a weird , touchy subject somehow. My H washes clothes almost once a day (how?) and I will let mine pile up for 2 or 3 weeks because I have plenty. However, if you are running a load with only 3 pairs of jeans, at least ASK me if I would like to throw any in.

CMGragain · November 2015

I am from the more traditional generation. DH now vacuums the floors after I "pick up". That is all. He is incapable of cleaning out the dishwasher, doing laundry, setting the table, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, etc. He whines when he runs out of socks or underwear. He takes care of the yard and garden. He thinks that is enough.
At age 64, I know he is not going to change. He loves me. That makes up for a lot.

banana468 · November 2015

DH doesn't do the laundry but he'll swap a load if I ask. Just like I don't empty the garbage but will change it out when needed if he's not around. I've also said that cleaning the cars is his deal - and I clean the toilets.

littlemushroom · November 2015

I don't wash dishes by hand. I think that is the grossest, most horrible chore ever. I will load and unload the dishwasher, but refuse to wash by hand. DH doesn't mind hand washing and prefers it. So he does all the dishes, and I put them all away. I also clean the bathroom. Everything else we both do. Laundry, yard work, general cleaning and tidying, etc are all done together or equally.

lovemesomemonster · November 2015

I have a good one.. every year when FI gets back from working out of state for 7 months we have an adjustment period where it's difficult for both of us.. I asked him to pick some things up from the grocery store on his way home from work (I work from home) and when he called me I had already had a glass of wine.. he was angry because he said if I have time to get drunk I have time to get my own groceries.. not the point, I asked because he was already out and I'm not drunk, I had a glass of wine but OK.

julieanne912 · November 2015

Everyone will throw a shit fit when they hear this, but I do all of H's laundry, and when he has to travel, I even iron his shirts and pants. I also do all the cooking and most of the cleanup, and take care of most of the house cleaning. Occasionally he'll help me with smaller tasks if I ask him. He handles everything outside.

It's definitely not a fair split and it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn't do anything around the house when he isn't traveling and working from home. But he also picks up a way larger proportion of the household bills and pays for a lot of our entertainment/eating out. It's definitely something we're still working on, and I can't wait until I make enough money to hire a cleaning person.

emmaaa · November 2015

julieanne912 said:

Everyone will throw a shit fit when they hear this, but I do all of H's laundry, and when he has to travel, I even iron his shirts and pants. I also do all the cooking and most of the cleanup, and take care of most of the house cleaning. Occasionally he'll help me with smaller tasks if I ask him. He handles everything outside.

It's definitely not a fair split and it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn't do anything around the house when he isn't traveling and working from home. But he also picks up a way larger proportion of the household bills and pays for a lot of our entertainment/eating out. It's definitely something we're still working on, and I can't wait until I make enough money to hire a cleaning person.

The bolded is how DH and i handle household chores. For the most part, I do inside and he does outside. The exception is dishes. DH does the dishes most of the time so everything is clean when I get home from work so I can cook.

I try not to give him too much grief that I do more around the house because he works physically harder than me at work and more often than I do.

However, there have been many times that I've had to get him to help around the house if I don't feel well or have the time. Just the same as there have been many times I have taken the trash out and done the yard work because DH didn't have time.

Honestly, the arrangement works for us and that's really all that matters.

luckya23 · November 2015

julieanne912 said:

Everyone will throw a shit fit when they hear this, but I do all of H's laundry, and when he has to travel, I even iron his shirts and pants. I also do all the cooking and most of the cleanup, and take care of most of the house cleaning. Occasionally he'll help me with smaller tasks if I ask him. He handles everything outside.

It's definitely not a fair split and it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn't do anything around the house when he isn't traveling and working from home. But he also picks up a way larger proportion of the household bills and pays for a lot of our entertainment/eating out. It's definitely something we're still working on, and I can't wait until I make enough money to hire a cleaning person.

It's not OUR place to have a shit fit, but it doesn't seem to be working for you, either!

It's the *refusal* to take care of his own personal tasks above that annoys me.

julieanne912 · November 2015

luckya23 said:

julieanne912 said:

Everyone will throw a shit fit when they hear this, but I do all of H's laundry, and when he has to travel, I even iron his shirts and pants. I also do all the cooking and most of the cleanup, and take care of most of the house cleaning. Occasionally he'll help me with smaller tasks if I ask him. He handles everything outside.

It's definitely not a fair split and it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn't do anything around the house when he isn't traveling and working from home. But he also picks up a way larger proportion of the household bills and pays for a lot of our entertainment/eating out. It's definitely something we're still working on, and I can't wait until I make enough money to hire a cleaning person.

It's not OUR place to have a shit fit, but it doesn't seem to be working for you, either!
It's the *refusal* to take care of his own personal tasks above that annoys me.

TBH some of it is my fault, because I don't put my foot down and say "I'm not doing this". Like I said, we're working on it.... he's working on offering to help more without being asked, and I'm working on being more vocal about what isn't working for me, instead of expecting him to be a mind reader. We do have a house w/ laundry right by the kitchen/living room though so it's not so bad.

madamerwin · November 2015

luckya23 said:

julieanne912 said:

Everyone will throw a shit fit when they hear this, but I do all of H's laundry, and when he has to travel, I even iron his shirts and pants. I also do all the cooking and most of the cleanup, and take care of most of the house cleaning. Occasionally he'll help me with smaller tasks if I ask him. He handles everything outside.

It's definitely not a fair split and it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn't do anything around the house when he isn't traveling and working from home. But he also picks up a way larger proportion of the household bills and pays for a lot of our entertainment/eating out. It's definitely something we're still working on, and I can't wait until I make enough money to hire a cleaning person.

It's not OUR place to have a shit fit, but it doesn't seem to be working for you, either!
It's the *refusal* to take care of his own personal tasks above that annoys me.

Yes - this is how I feel too. I have no problem with a couple deciding on a seemingly uneven division of labor, or having one partner always do certain chores, as long as it works for both people. But I draw the line at a grown-ass adult straight up refusing to do certain chores - particularly ones related to their own hygiene (in this case laundry).

At our house, I definitely do more of the day-to-day indoor chores (cooking, washing sheets/towels, dishes, general straightening up), but H does ALL the outdoor chores (mowing, weeding, raking) and is usually the one to initiate deep cleaning indoors. It's not even in terms of time or energy spent, per se, but it works for us. I know if I felt like it was unfair, I would end up resentful, which is not a fun place to be.

julieanne912 · November 2015

I should also add that he doesn't refuse to do his, but he definitely expects me to do it, and will tell me if he's running out of socks or whatever. But when it comes down to it, he'll do his own if he HAS to

MissKittyDanger · November 2015

@julieanne912 I don't understand the snit people get into over laundry. I do H's and my laundry also. Only time he does his own laundry is when he does paintball, and that's because it has to be done basically right away.
I totally get the unfair split. Mine doesn't do much, and I let it slide while I wasn't work much.
{side note: love your sig picture lol}

julieanne912 · November 2015

MissKittyDanger said:

@julieanne912 I don't understand the snit people get into over laundry. I do H's and my laundry also. Only time he does his own laundry is when he does paintball, and that's because it has to be done basically right away.
I totally get the unfair split. Mine doesn't do much, and I let it slide while I wasn't work much.
{side note: love your sig picture lol}

Yeah I guess I'm just confused why it's such a big deal to combine laundry and have one person do it.

And thanks! This was a pic a friend took with his phone and TBH it's one of my faves from the wedding.

ShesSoCold · November 2015

I agree with PPs that it's more the fact that an adult "refuses" to do a normal household chore than it is about the chore itself. I definitely do more around the house than H does and it works for us. But if H REFUSED to do his own damn laundry, he'd be wearing dirty ass clothes.

anjemon · November 2015

The money conversation has reminded me of one. We are currently renting H's condo to his sister and her FI. He gave them an absolute steal on rent so what they pay don't cover his costs every month. It's better than when we were trying to sell it and it wasn't making any money. But I'm still annoyed that he didn't charge them close to what it costs us in monthly bills. Even if he charged them what he pays monthly in mortgage it would still be a great deal for a nice place in that area (I know since I was paying to rent not far away until recently).

It's his money and his condo so I don't but in, but I'm also worried about what might happen if they don't pay in a timely manner. It would be very hard to collect from family (at least for me).

teddygirl9 · November 2015

I only do my own laundry, save sheets/towels if I don't have enough whites. I have plenty of my own clothes, and usually only wash once every two-three weeks and let it pile up inbetween. I don't like folding or separating our clothes. mine go into my dressing room, aka spare room, and he keeps his in our master closet. It's just easier to keep them separate for us haha.

I'm lucky because he only gets 1 day off a week, and every week he spends a good chunk of that day cleaning the house. Dishes, counters, sweeping/mopping, etc. We split cooking and cleaning day to day pretty evenly, but he does A LOT when he's off. I just sit on the sofa and eat chips haha.

My current rant would be that we are going away this weekend and he doesn't want to go to one event that I want to attend (a beer festival). So I told him that if he doesn't want to attend he should make an alternative plan that includes food, drink and some sort of activity. We leave tomorrow (event on Friday) and he still hasn't come up with anything. Which is fine, because we'll end up doing what I want, but it still annoys me that he doesn't put any effort into planning.

CMGragain · November 2015

ShesSoCold said:

I agree with PPs that it's more the fact that an adult "refuses" to do a normal household chore than it is about the chore itself. I definitely do more around the house than H does and it works for us. But if H REFUSED to do his own damn laundry, he'd be wearing dirty ass clothes.

....but, my DH DOESN'T CARE if he wears dirty ass clothes! I am embarrassed for him. He would stink if I didn't take care of his laundry.

It's been a while... DH/FI/SO venting

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