Thanks everyone for the love and support. I called my dad for support and ideas. He did confess that he thinks that H and I are too hard on Bean sometimes, which I can admit I agree with. I am just terrified of him growing up to be lazy or disrespectful, or of getting in trouble. I worry extra because of the stigma he carries just by being a beautiful mixed young man. But I also worry that all of our interactions are negative for Bean, and I definitely don't want that to be the case. I'm just trying to find the right balance. I think I need to spend a day with my dad just working it through, out loud. He has 45 years of experience with this whole parenting thing.
Lots & lots of love & hugs for you & Bean. I'm so glad your dad is there to help you through it. He did a pretty damn good job on you, so I'd trust his advice
@labro - If I could donate some vacation time to you, I would. Work sounds terrible for you lately. I also feel you on money discussions with H. H and I always end up getting into it about money. He's on a saving kick, which is great and all but I don't want to live life being a money hoarder either. Its all about finding balance and, of course, that is insanely difficult to find.
@beanbot2002 - I get that the teachers think the responsibility should be on the kids but I assume they don't want kids to fail either. I hope they get on board with your idea. In the alternative, can you make keeping track of things fun for him? Is he getting any electronic devices for Christmas? Does he have a phone? My sister sometimes mandates that my nephew keep an electronic journal of assignments. If he can't keep it up to date, the phone goes away. I'm not sure how much help that is for classwork though (vs homework). I hate to use punishment as a form of motivation but have you guys tried taking away the soccer rights? I'm sure you don't want to do that though. My sister threatened to take away band (my nephew is in a marching band) and he whipped into shape right away after that. I'm sorry...I know you've probably thought of all of this already. Honestly, this is just a rough age to deal with kids. I did my sociology thesis/study on kids between grades 7-9 (on the parental impact switching in importance vs peer influence) and every single parent of children that age I interviewed was frustrated so you aren't alone.
ETA- Just saw your update @beanbot2002 - I'm glad your dad was able to help somewhat. You are a GREAT mom, never doubt that for a second. I think you are being too hard on YOURSELF. Hugs. You'll find the balance you are seeking, you are trying too hard not to find it...it just may take a little more time to find.
@jenna8984 - I'm a little over 13 weeks now. I figure I'll tell work at 16 weeks or so after we do the genetic testing to make sure everything is ok.
@GoldenPenguin - Your dream (and confession to your H) is hilarious. I had a dream last night I forgot my rings and was late to catch my plane. I was so worried in my dream that H would see my rings at home and think I was cheating on him on my trip if I didn't go back to get them. Lol.
@jenna8984 My boss was texting me photos of purses while in store lmao The price there was actually better than the stores here, but Vegas has outlets and ours aren't considered outlets lol Also have fun!!
@jenjen047 - How the hell is your wedding already only 6 weeks away? That's so freakin exciting!
@labro - I'm sorry you've been so stressed lately. I hate being so on edge that I can just cry over small things. You are the bomb diggity, and I hope things calm down sooner rather than later.
@GoldenPenguin - That dream sounds nice, but I think I'd be so afraid of getting crushed by him that I couldn't relax and enjoy myself. I'm fragile!
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My SS gift is ready to take to the post office at lunch today! That's right. I'm sending it on Wednesday, like a balla. Although my dog stole part of the present out of the box 3 times and I had to chase him down. He'd listen to "drop it", but then just immediately pick it back up once I got close to him. What a dick....... Also, unlike others on here I expect only pure joy and smiles. No crying allowed!
Did anyone know Ben Carson essentially brags about attacking people as a kid? And then people that knew him as a child said that they never saw that kind of behavior from him. But he's arguing super hard that he was violent, and actually would have stabbed a relative if the knife hadn't hit his belt buckle and broken.
Just a fun fact I learned from the Daily Show this morning. I guess we've all got our ways of relating to people..... Oh yea, and he thinks Joseph built the pyramids to store grain. No tombs involved. It's cool. Archaeologists and historians aren't real scientists anyway.
@GoldenPenguin - Your dream (and confession to your H) is hilarious. I had a dream last night I forgot my rings and was late to catch my plane. I was so worried in my dream that H would see my rings at home and think I was cheating on him on my trip if I didn't go back to get them. Lol.
I was in the bathroom getting ready, and he came in to get in the shower, so he was stark naked, and I turned around & looked at him. "I have a confession." "Uh, okay..." "I had a dream last night that I had sex with JJ Watt and I had to tell you."
He shook his head at me (typical), laughed, and got in the shower.
@alpacina and @labro - I already told H we are moving to India if Trump (or Carson for that matter) wins. I'll take the complete and utter disorganized chaos that is India any day over Trump. He thinks I'm joking...I'm not.
@minskat30 - I would not blame you one bit. Although I don't know how you'd survive. It sounded like you had a hard enough time eating gluten free for just a short visit!
@goldenpenguin hahaha Thanksgiving eve I had a dream that I caught my bf cheating, so I confronted him. His response was to tie me up and make me watch. I woke up crying and hit him till he woke up asking if he cheated. In his drunken stupor Thanksgiving night he grabs me and goes "babe don't dream about me cheating, I wouldn't do that, you're too pretty."
"I had an almost sex dream last night, but you had Sarah Palin/50's Beehive hair, so it didn't happen. I think that may be where I woke up this morning."
I have no sex dreams, but Christmas presents for my nieces showed up! One is getting a Disney Princess-themed art tote and the other is getting a My Little Pony Play-Doh set. And ... H and I totally didn't consult her parents before getting her that, only to later learn that she tends to leave Play-Doh open, let it dry out, get it in the carpet, etc. We are going way up the aunt-and-uncle coolness ladder.
@labro - I will chat with you all at midnight in India.
@alpacina - I'd be the skinniest version of me possible in India more than likely given my lovely Celiac and incompatibility with Indian food.
@speakeasy14 - Awwww, what a cute drunken/sleepy response. And also true.
------------------------ I'm ashamed to admit this guys but H watches the Republican debates (aka the circus animals performing). I think he is doing this just to piss me off, however. I can't stand more than 5 minutes of that shit show and I leave the room.
@AlPacina - I reeeeeeeeeeeeally have to be done. I'm really happy with everything I bought and I'm excited to give it to everyone! I seriously can't spend anymore money. I definitely went over budget
@AlPacina - I reeeeeeeeeeeeally have to be done. I'm really happy with everything I bought and I'm excited to give it to everyone! I seriously can't spend anymore money. I definitely went over budget
I've been on an audit and dealing with house stuff this week, so I haven't been around. I'm almost finished with my SS gift so it will be ready to be mailed out by Friday! Last night after I finished working I went to some stores and managed to not buy a single thing, even at Target, where everything was so cute and I wanted it all.
@Swazzle Love the rug! Also, your couch/sectional is exactly what I am looking for, sooo where did you get it (and the rug, for that matter... I'm about to be in the market for such things, haha)
@CocoBellaF I can't comprehend people touching other people, if someone tried to touch my stomach I would rip their arm off.
@jenjen047 Wahoo on being moved! And the 6 weeks will surely fly!
@beanbot2002 That's a tough situation, best wishes figuring out how to help Bean with his studies. To have that drastic a change in grades there's gotta be something up When I was a teen my grades started to struggle when I befriended kids that didn't value education as much... but if my grades dropped I had privileges taken away. I don't think you're being too hard on him, it's important to care about education. I look forward to some AW pics of the kitchen!
@goldenpenguin@labro@minskat30- My main struggle right now is makeup. I've been to 2 trials and didn't like either. I can't even put my finger on what the problem is exactly. But I was also disappointed neither MUA did any prep....no primer, concealer, highlight/contour. I feel like that's part of why I am hiring a pro. I can put makeup on my face myself but I want someone to give me those extras that will make me look extra fabulous. I have 2 more trials this weekend that I am more optimistic about because they said they do all those prep steps and because I sent them tons of pictures of me with my makeup done so they can see what I think looks good. I'm hoping I love one of these artists so I can check this off my list.
@wink0erin - The couch is THIS from Pottery Barn. We went with the Performance EverydaySuede material (in oat) because everything I read said that it's great with pet hair and cat scratches. Something about the fibers being too close together for claws to get caught and pull the material. It came in March or April I think it was and it's amazing. Also, if you end up going the PB route, they offer pretty good deals on their credit card. I think you can choose between a year of no interest on your purchase or $50 in rewards back for every $250 you spend (we went with that option).
The rug is THIS from Rugs USA (they have 80% off and free shipping today!).
Man, I should have known better than to put that one heavy-ish item in my SS present. I don't think I've ever shipped anything outside of WA/OR so that price was a bit more than I expected, haha. Someone's getting a gift on Saturday!
I also noticed today that Christmas music is curing my road rage (for now). I love December.
@swazzle - I've seen that website, but for some reason the discounts always seemed too good to be true. I will give them a try, though!
@jenjen047 I definitely asked for a re-trial for those exact same reasons. The first artist I saw didn't do any sort of prep work at all and I just wasn't very happy with the final look. I knew I wanted to work with that salon because they were doing my hair so I asked for a second trial, listed my complaints, and saw a much much much better make-up artist who listened to me and was generally a much more likeable person. Definitely do not hesitate to speak up on this one! I hope your other trials go better! Are you getting your hair done at the same salon as your make-up or how is that happening?
Re: It's Wednesday
@beanbot2002 - I get that the teachers think the responsibility should be on the kids but I assume they don't want kids to fail either. I hope they get on board with your idea. In the alternative, can you make keeping track of things fun for him? Is he getting any electronic devices for Christmas? Does he have a phone? My sister sometimes mandates that my nephew keep an electronic journal of assignments. If he can't keep it up to date, the phone goes away. I'm not sure how much help that is for classwork though (vs homework). I hate to use punishment as a form of motivation but have you guys tried taking away the soccer rights? I'm sure you don't want to do that though. My sister threatened to take away band (my nephew is in a marching band) and he whipped into shape right away after that. I'm sorry...I know you've probably thought of all of this already. Honestly, this is just a rough age to deal with kids. I did my sociology thesis/study on kids between grades 7-9 (on the parental impact switching in importance vs peer influence) and every single parent of children that age I interviewed was frustrated so you aren't alone.
ETA- Just saw your update @beanbot2002 - I'm glad your dad was able to help somewhat. You are a GREAT mom, never doubt that for a second. I think you are being too hard on YOURSELF. Hugs. You'll find the balance you are seeking, you are trying too hard not to find it...it just may take a little more time to find.
@jenna8984 - I'm a little over 13 weeks now. I figure I'll tell work at 16 weeks or so after we do the genetic testing to make sure everything is ok.
@GoldenPenguin - Your dream (and confession to your H) is hilarious. I had a dream last night I forgot my rings and was late to catch my plane. I was so worried in my dream that H would see my rings at home and think I was cheating on him on my trip if I didn't go back to get them. Lol.
Also have fun!!
@Swazzle - That rug looks absolutely awesome!
@TwoDimes - Are brain farts called "brarts"? Because they should be........ "I brarted."
@Speakeasy14 - Schooooool's out for-eva!
@jenjen047 - How the hell is your wedding already only 6 weeks away? That's so freakin exciting!
@labro - I'm sorry you've been so stressed lately.
I hate being so on edge that I can just cry over small things. You are the bomb diggity, and I hope things calm down sooner rather than later.
@GoldenPenguin - That dream sounds nice, but I think I'd be so afraid of getting crushed by him that I couldn't relax and enjoy myself. I'm fragile!
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My SS gift is ready to take to the post office at lunch today!
That's right. I'm sending it on Wednesday, like a balla. Although my dog stole part of the present out of the box 3 times and I had to chase him down. He'd listen to "drop it", but then just immediately pick it back up once I got close to him. What a dick....... Also, unlike others on here I expect only pure joy and smiles. No crying allowed!
Did anyone know Ben Carson essentially brags about attacking people as a kid? And then people that knew him as a child said that they never saw that kind of behavior from him. But he's arguing super hard that he was violent, and actually would have stabbed a relative if the knife hadn't hit his belt buckle and broken.
Just a fun fact I learned from the Daily Show this morning. I guess we've all got our ways of relating to people..... Oh yea, and he thinks Joseph built the pyramids to store grain. No tombs involved. It's cool. Archaeologists and historians aren't real scientists anyway.
Ben Carson is a fucking joke. I'm actually really really terrified of all the front-running Republican candidates.
He shook his head at me (typical), laughed, and got in the shower.
@minskat30 - I would not blame you one bit. Although I don't know how you'd survive. It sounded like you had a hard enough time eating gluten free for just a short visit!
MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON (or wherever):
@speakeasy14 - Awwww, to what your BF said! But geez, you have pretty fucked up dreams!
"His response was to tie me up and make me watch."
Dying.
No Christmas presents for him!
@alpacina - I'd be the skinniest version of me possible in India more than likely given my lovely Celiac and incompatibility with Indian food.
@speakeasy14 - Awwww, what a cute drunken/sleepy response. And also true.
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I'm ashamed to admit this guys but H watches the Republican debates (aka the circus animals performing). I think he is doing this just to piss me off, however. I can't stand more than 5 minutes of that shit show and I leave the room.
@eilis1228 - Please give your stepdad a flaming bag of Zoey poo for Christmas from all of us here at NEY.
YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
I AM DONE MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. IT IS DECEMBER 2ND AND I AM DONE. SHOPPING.
I am no longer cranky (sushi for lunch certainly didn't hurt!) but my bank account is.
Yay! People are back! I got way too much accomplished in the last hour, haha.
@swazzle - I always THINK I'm done early, but still manage to buy more shit for people.
@Swazzle Love the rug! Also, your couch/sectional is exactly what I am looking for, sooo where did you get it (and the rug, for that matter... I'm about to be in the market for such things, haha)
@CocoBellaF I can't comprehend people touching other people, if someone tried to touch my stomach I would rip their arm off.
@jenjen047 Wahoo on being moved! And the 6 weeks will surely fly!
@beanbot2002 That's a tough situation, best wishes figuring out how to help Bean with his studies. To have that drastic a change in grades there's gotta be something up
The rug is THIS from Rugs USA (they have 80% off and free shipping today!).
Edited to fix link
Man, I should have known better than to put that one heavy-ish item in my SS present. I don't think I've ever shipped anything outside of WA/OR so that price was a bit more than I expected, haha. Someone's getting a gift on Saturday!
I also noticed today that Christmas music is curing my road rage (for now). I love December.
@swazzle - I've seen that website, but for some reason the discounts always seemed too good to be true. I will give them a try, though!