Is this considered rude?

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

Hey everyone. So my fiancé and I are trying to plan a budget for food/beverages for our wedding and alcohol seems to be the most expensive thing so far. But we enjoy beverages so not having it is out of the question. So instead of having an all inclusive open bar would it be rude to have a free bar with alcohol that we pre-purchased being served? The only thing I'm worried about is that it would basically cut everyone's options in half since I obviously can't afford EVERY alcohol and mixer. You guys are the experts so I would appreciate your thoughts!

thanks!

Maggie0829 · December 2015

As long as your guests don't have to open your wallets then you are pretty much in the clear. Does your venue allow you to bring in your own alcohol? You could always do beer, wine, and then your basics such as rum and vodka and then a handful of mixers. You definitely do not need all the things for this to work.

MyNameIsNot · December 2015

CassieBeth926 said:

Hey everyone. So my fiancé and I are trying to plan a budget for food/beverages for our wedding and alcohol seems to be the most expensive thing so far. But we enjoy beverages so not having it is out of the question. So instead of having an all inclusive open bar would it be rude to have a free bar with alcohol that we pre-purchased being served? The only thing I'm worried about is that it would basically cut everyone's options in half since I obviously can't afford EVERY alcohol and mixer. You guys are the experts so I would appreciate your thoughts! thanks!

Limited bar is perfectly fine. The only etiquette no-no is having your guests pay for things you opt not to offer. Many people do just beer and wine, or those two things with a signature drink or two.

If you're thinking of bringing stuff in, talk to your venue (or potential venues) first. Bringing your own booze is a great way to save money, but many venues can't or won't let you do so. In some places, it's a different kind of liquor license or a different type of insurance is needed. You'll also want to find out about bartenders and cost when you are budgeting.

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

Yes our venue is essentially an "oh you paid us, have fun give us the key back in the morning" an our caterer offers bar tending services. I assumed most people would drink beer but vodka and rum are a must. At least if I buy too much I can just keep the rest and have a super drunken honeymoon, right?

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

The only stipulation is that we have to have a uniformed officer present if any type of alcohol will be consumed, wether it's purchased by us or through a caterer.

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

CassieBeth926 said:

Hey everyone. So my fiancé and I are trying to plan a budget for food/beverages for our wedding and alcohol seems to be the most expensive thing so far. But we enjoy beverages so not having it is out of the question. So instead of having an all inclusive open bar would it be rude to have a free bar with alcohol that we pre-purchased being served? The only thing I'm worried about is that it would basically cut everyone's options in half since I obviously can't afford EVERY alcohol and mixer. You guys are the experts so I would appreciate your thoughts! thanks!

You're good to go! Just make sure that your guests are consistently hosted during the whole reception.

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the input:)

madamerwin · December 2015

This is exactly what we did. Our venue allowed us to bring our own alcohol as long as we purchased liquor liability insurance in addition to the mandatory event insurance. Hell, they did not even require licensed bartenders, though we opted to hire bartenders through our caterer.

We had two kinds of bottled beer, three types of wine, and vodka and bourbon (with a handful of mixers). Everyone was perfectly happy with the selection. And we grossly overestimated how much alcohol we needed and ended up with a shitload left over (not the worst predicament). It took us months to drink the rest, even after giving half of the leftovers away.

lyndausvi · December 2015

You are fine. We provided our own alcohol too.

While we did a full premium bar, a limited bar is just fine. This is what I suggest (if you have the funds that is.)

Beer - 2-3 favors with one being your basic Bud Light, Coors light or Miller Lite (none of which I touch, but they are popular)

Wine - red and a white

Liquor -Vodka, rum, whiskey or bourbon. If you have more in your budget you can add something you know your crowd likes (i.e tequila, scotch, gin, etc). Personally I would try and go mid-range then really, really cheap, but again do what your budget allows.

Mixers - coke, diet, sprite, club soda, tonic. Juices - OJ and cran. Again if you know your group likes a certain drink AND you have the budget then add that mixer (i.e ginger beer if your group likes moscow mules).

Lemon and limes. Olives if you plan on doing martinis.

The above will take care of the majority of your guests. They might not be getting the moscow mule they normally drink, but most will be okay with a vodka club with a squeeze of lime instead.

I was allowed to return any UNOPENED bottles. So check your local liquor place to see if you can return unopened bottles. It made it easier to order since we knew we could bring some stuff back.

ETA - again this do what your budget allows. Start with the beer and wine, then add liquors as you can.

glasgowtolondon · December 2015

We are doing our own bar too (served by the caterers, booze provided by us). We will likely serve prosecco / wine / beer - mix of craft and broad appeal / gin / vodka. FI loves whiskey so we will have a whiskey bar later in the evening too.

Obvs there will be soft drinks too but given my family is Scottish I anticipate having loads of diet coke hanging round my house for a long time afterwards!

The only worry is underestimating and running dry, I think I'd be excommunicated!

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

glasgowtolondon said:
We are doing our own bar too (served by the caterers, booze provided by us). We will likely serve prosecco / wine / beer - mix of craft and broad appeal / gin / vodka. FI loves whiskey so we will have a whiskey bar later in the evening too.

Obvs there will be soft drinks too but given my family is Scottish I anticipate having loads of diet coke hanging round my house for a long time afterwards!

The only worry is underestimating and running dry, I think I'd be excommunicated!

That's what I am worried about too! I feel like I will just over-purchase and hope for the best, my close friends are pretty big drinker!
My fiancé is a huge fan of scotch, so I'm planning on getting him a bottle of Johnny walker blue for his bachelor party. a whiskey bar sounds pretty neat though.

glasgowtolondon · December 2015

Yep, I'm thinking massively over purchase and then marvel at my crowds ability to sink it!

The boy can't wait for the whiskey bar, we actually got engaged in Skye in the north of Scotland and visited the talisker factory when we were there. We've saved a bottle to go in the bar as a little reminder for us!

CassieBeth926 · December 2015

That sounds amazing! FI has always wanted to visit the land of scotch, I can imagine he wouldn't allow a bottle purchased there to even make it through customs. He would drink it immediately.

glasgowtolondon · December 2015

CassieBeth926 said:
That sounds amazing! FI has always wanted to visit the land of scotch, I can imagine he wouldn't allow a bottle purchased there to even make it through customs. He would drink it immediately.

Ha, that may have happened too! That's why you always visit Scotland with a half filled suitcase

SP29 · December 2015

A lot of stores will allow you to return un-opened bottles/cases. Look for these, and then no worries about buying too much!

Absolutely nothing wrong with a limited bar. As long as all guests are treated equally (i.e. don't have special drinks for the WP only) and everything that is offered is available throughout the night, you're good!

Jen4948 · December 2015

You're fine. Your wedding sounds like fun.

thefanciestbeckler · December 2015

Definitely not rude. Our venue allowed us to bring in our own alcohol if we had a licensed and bonded bartender. We opted to offer a few varieties of wine instead of a full bar at our wedding, and nobody complained. When we purchased the cases, the guy at the liquor store told us we could return anything that was not opened if it was too much.

ETA details because it's Wednesday and I'm tired

julieanne912 · December 2015

Just wanted to add that we did this too... keg beer (2 kinds, Bud Light and Fat Tire), a red wine, a white wine, and vodka, rum, and bourbon, and a variety of mixers. We purchased a "bar package" through our caterer that supplied 2 bartenders, stuff like lemons and limes, extra sodas for mixers (we also supplied sodas ourselves) and orange juice and cranberry juice.

And yes, make sure wherever you buy from will let you return any unopened bottles, we wayyy overbought and were able to return about $300 worth of the alcohol afterwards. Could have done more but I opted to keep the unopened wine.

Heffalump · December 2015

SP29 said:

A lot of stores will allow you to return un-opened bottles/cases. Look for these, and then no worries about buying too much!

Absolutely nothing wrong with a limited bar. As long as all guests are treated equally (i.e. don't have special drinks for the WP only) and everything that is offered is available throughout the night, you're good!

I was going to post the same thing re: returns. We knowingly overbought just in case, and returned the unopened extras. (We did go through more than we expected, though, so I'm glad we erred on the side of caution!)

Open, limited bar worked out really well for us.

mrs.mermaid12 · December 2015

I don't know if its the same in the states but in Ontario, Canada unopened bottles can be returned to the LCBO so as long as your really clear to the catering team/bar staff about opening bottles thats a possibility

Is this considered rude?

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