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Alternative roles?

AriBelugaAriBeluga member
First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Party
So, I've got 2 definite yes bridesmaids/men, and my other half has 2 definite yes groomsmen.

I did have three bridesmaids (two men (D & G), one woman (C), but I found out this morning that the other half asked D to be his groomsman.  Long story short, we've both been friends with this guy for YEARS and he's basically family.

Anyhoo, we asked him whose party he wants to be in (as long as he's there, I'm a happy bunny), and his reaction was thus - "BOTH!"

So, I'm just wondering if there are any bridal-party-neutral roles (aside from ushers, we don't need those :) )!
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Re: Alternative roles?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Roles in a wedding include...
    Wedding party
    Reader
    And (if you are having a Catholic ceremony) a person to present the gifts.

    Personally I think asking someone to just be an usher is more of a job then an honorable position.

    But seeing as your FI already asked this guy to be on his side and the guy said yes, then I would just keep things the way they are.  

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  • PamBeesly524PamBeesly524 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with @Maggie0829 , it really doesn't matter what side he's on, he's still there for the both of you!
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    DH and I were different and thought of our WP and OURS.  We did not think in terms of your side and my side.   We BOTH picked out the WP members.  We did separate sides by gender, but again, we never looked at as his side and my side.   We thought of ALL OF THEM supporting BOTH of us.  So DH's sisters (who I barely knew) were on the "girls" side, but they were there to support US as a couple, not DH or me as an individual.  

    I guess what I'm saying, he can still support you even though he is on a different "side" then you.    I guess I don't see the need for an alternative roll for him.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Liatris2010 said:
    Is he the type of person who would make a good officiant?
    I was going to suggest this, because it's what we're doing!

    We have one guy who we couldn't choose between. He has the personality to officiate (outgoing, good public speaker, etc.), so we asked him to officiate. Maybe you can do the same, OP.
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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's lovely that you guys have someone in your life that you would both choose to stand up beside you!

    I guess I'm in the camp of whether he's standing up with you or your FI then he's standing up for you both, side shmide.

    Other than officiant as others have suggested there's nothing to say you HAVE to have 'hers' and 'his' parties, you could just have a wedding party if you'd prefer. They don't have to have special titles, just the knowledge that they are your nearest and dearest and you want them by your side on the day.
                 
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  • AriBelugaAriBeluga member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    JediElizabeth said:
    Liatris2010 said:
    Is he the type of person who would make a good officiant?
    I was going to suggest this, because it's what we're doing!

    We have one guy who we couldn't choose between. He has the personality to officiate (outgoing, good public speaker, etc.), so we asked him to officiate. Maybe you can do the same, OP.
    He would be AMAZING - unfortunately, you're now allowed to do that in the UK :'(

    lyndausvi said:
    DH and I were different and thought of our WP and OURS.  We did not think in terms of your side and my side.   We BOTH picked out the WP members.  We did separate sides by gender, but again, we never looked at as his side and my side.   We thought of ALL OF THEM supporting BOTH of us.  So DH's sisters (who I barely knew) were on the "girls" side, but they were there to support US as a couple, not DH or me as an individual.  

    I guess what I'm saying, he can still support you even though he is on a different "side" then you.    I guess I don't see the need for an alternative roll for him.
    glasgowtolondon said:
    It's lovely that you guys have someone in your life that you would both choose to stand up beside you! I guess I'm in the camp of whether he's standing up with you or your FI then he's standing up for you both, side shmide. Other than officiant as others have suggested there's nothing to say you HAVE to have 'hers' and 'his' parties, you could just have a wedding party if you'd prefer. They don't have to have special titles, just the knowledge that they are your nearest and dearest and you want them by your side on the day.
    This is true, I guess!  I mean. he'd be on both our "sides", I was just wondering if there was any title for that! (my question was badly worded)

    Maggie0829 said:
    Roles in a wedding include...
    Wedding party
    Reader
    And (if you are having a Catholic ceremony) a person to present the gifts.

    Personally I think asking someone to just be an usher is more of a job then an honorable position.

    But seeing as your FI already asked this guy to be on his side and the guy said yes, then I would just keep things the way they are.  
    We're about as far from Catholic as you can get! I think we might ask him to do a reading :D thank you so much!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    AriBeluga said:

    Maggie0829 said:
    Roles in a wedding include...
    Wedding party
    Reader
    And (if you are having a Catholic ceremony) a person to present the gifts.

    Personally I think asking someone to just be an usher is more of a job then an honorable position.

    But seeing as your FI already asked this guy to be on his side and the guy said yes, then I would just keep things the way they are.  
    We're about as far from Catholic as you can get! I think we might ask him to do a reading :D thank you so much!
    But are you going to keep him as a GM?  Since your FI already asked him to be a GM you really can't renege that offer.  But he can certainly be a GM and do a reading as well.

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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:


    AriBeluga said:




    Maggie0829 said:

    Roles in a wedding include...
    Wedding party
    Reader
    And (if you are having a Catholic ceremony) a person to present the gifts.

    Personally I think asking someone to just be an usher is more of a job then an honorable position.

    But seeing as your FI already asked this guy to be on his side and the guy said yes, then I would just keep things the way they are.  

    We're about as far from Catholic as you can get! I think we might ask him to do a reading :D thank you so much!

    But are you going to keep him as a GM?  Since your FI already asked him to be a GM you really can't renege that offer.  But he can certainly be a GM and do a reading as well.

    Yep, I missed this part from the initial post - if your FI has already asked him to be a groomsman you should probably just leave him be. Since you obviously had the conversation with him it sounds like he knows you would have been happy to have him on either side.
                 
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