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Moms and Maids
Knottie1443143973
member
How large is too large?
In college I was in a circle of four very close friends; in graduate school I was in a group of five. We always did everything together and referred to ourselves as a clearly defined "us."
Now that I'm one of the first brides in either group, I feel like the easiest thing would be to ask all 7 of these close friends to be bridesmaids... It just isn't clear to me who I would leave out, and I can easily see feelings being hurt and relationships ending over this. I also have a very close cousin and my fiancé has a sister I would like to include. Is that unwieldy and just way too large? Help please!
(For what it's worth, my fiancé can match my number pretty easily regardless of what I decide. He can go up to 9 and as low as necessary.)
Now that I'm one of the first brides in either group, I feel like the easiest thing would be to ask all 7 of these close friends to be bridesmaids... It just isn't clear to me who I would leave out, and I can easily see feelings being hurt and relationships ending over this. I also have a very close cousin and my fiancé has a sister I would like to include. Is that unwieldy and just way too large? Help please!
(For what it's worth, my fiancé can match my number pretty easily regardless of what I decide. He can go up to 9 and as low as necessary.)
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Re: How large is too large?
I had 9 and maybe some people side-eyed but I didn't care. I hosted everyone correctly and I err-ed on the side of not hurting feelings. My bms were crazy different heights/weights/skin tones/hair color/style in general so I was relieved to just tell them a dress color(coral:meaning anything from light pink to orange). Other than that and asking them to be ready for pictures at noon I didn't require anything else- "sober" wouldn't have flown with my corwd.
*Luckily your friends know each other but for Lurkers just remember not to try and force your bridesmaids (sometimes 10 strangers) to be best friends.
There are other ways to include your friends in the ceremony as well, like reading, etc...
And this is just my experience, but I prefer a smaller BP. My first wedding 10 years ago, I had 7 bridesmaids. They were all my very best friends at the time, but it was a lot to organize. Dresses, fittings, bouquets, gifts. The second time around, I decided to have just a MOH, and I'm so happy I did that.
The couple got a bus to cart us to the church and reception.
Honestly? It was a ton of fun! Most of us already knew each other pretty well and despite the very long day (after getting ready was factored in) it was one of the most fun times I've had.
I think a large party is only as "weildy" as you make it. You really have to go with the flow in getting dresses, getting ready for the day, etc.
Ask who you want in your WP. Are you close with your FI's sister? If not, I would probably leave her off your side. If your FI wants her to stand up, she can do it on her side. I had 6 BMs and my H had 3 GM. So sides don't have to be even. Just ask your nearest and dearest (and this goes for FI too) to be in your WP.
Plus, if you haven't figured it out already, at every stop along the way someone, somewhere will be side-eying your choices.
And really 9 BMs is only too large if your budget cannot afford it. Do you see all these people standing up there with you? Are you only asking some so as to not cause hurt feelings? Stop right now and state who you want in your wedding. If you start saying "well I have to include such and such because if I don't her feelings will be hurt" you have reached the point where you should stop including people.
THAT is too many.
AND imagine how the 'honored girls' felt knowing they were not good enough to be BMs! Talk about 2nd tier!