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Unique celebration - Suggestions needed - Wedding Celebration after the fact

LadyNaraLadyNara member
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in Chit Chat
Hello everyone, this doesn't really fit in to a category so I'm sticking it in here in hopes that you have some brilliant ideas.

My very dear friend left home to be a missionary a few years ago, while in the mission field she met a wonderful man and a few months ago they had a wedding in Costa Rica and are married.  Unfortunately, due to travel issues no one from home including any of her family were able to attend.  

She is currently home for about a month with her new husband and since no one from her friends and family were able to fly down then we want to have a celebration now in order to bless the marriage and give them well wishes. 

They do want to have some sort of ceremony and not just a party.  My thoughts were as follows:

They walk down the isle together to meet the pastor up front. 
The pastor will welcome the guests, pray and give a definition of marriage. 
Bride's father will give a prayer and blessing to the couple.
Bride and groom will exchange vows of commitment. 
Unity ceremony of some sort (not sure if it will be sand, or rope or what)
Pastor gives a blessing and benediction. 

Bride and groom move immediately in to a reception line followed by cake and punch in the fellowship hall. 

Any other thoughts or brilliant suggestions to add or make this work?

Thanks in advance. 
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Re: Unique celebration - Suggestions needed - Wedding Celebration after the fact

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't reenact a wedding ceremony at this party.  Your friend is already married, so she can't be a bride.  Doing a wedding ceremony would just look silly and hokey to me.

    I'd just throw a really awesome party, have photo albums with pictures of their wedding and any pictures taken during their mission trip so guests can look at them if they want, and maybe do a formal cake cutting at some point during the party.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    madamerwinmadamerwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Skip all the ceremony stuff. They already had a wedding ceremony in Costa Rica. A party to celebrate their marriage is completely fine, but I would definitely side-eye anything that makes it look like a wedding (a ceremony, cake cutting, first dance, etc.). Plus, I am not sure many people would be super interested in sitting through a fake wedding ceremony.

    If they are set on a "ceremony", then wait a few years and have a vow renewal and invite everyone.

    @CMGragain can probably give you suggestions on how to word the invitation, but since this is just a party (not a wedding, not a reception), you (or your friend) should make it clear that it's not a wedding.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think there is anything wrong with having a existing marriage blessed in a church.  But my experience with those is that they are pretty low key, not a big wedding-like ceremony.  TBH, I would think it was weird for a couple who's already been married for a few months to have something like a unity ceremony.  I mean, they're already married, it doesn't get much more united than that.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Party?  Sure.  A ceremony?  No.  What is the point?  To make up for the fact that no one could attend their actual wedding?  This reenactment won't make up for anything.

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    LadyNaraLadyNara member
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    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 
    Everyone said that a party was definitely acceptable and that you should have a great one.  But the ceremony reenactment is pointless and not necessary.  Have a kick ass party, just nix the ceremony.

    What exactly did you want to hear?

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    jenna8984jenna8984 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    Hello everyone, this doesn't really fit in to a category so I'm sticking it in here in hopes that you have some brilliant ideas.

    My very dear friend left home to be a missionary a few years ago, while in the mission field she met a wonderful man and a few months ago they had a wedding in Costa Rica and are married.  Unfortunately, due to travel issues no one from home including any of her family were able to attend.  

    She is currently home for about a month with her new husband and since no one from her friends and family were able to fly down then we want to have a celebration now in order to bless the marriage and give them well wishes. 

    They do want to have some sort of ceremony and not just a party.  My thoughts were as follows:

    They walk down the isle together to meet the pastor up front. 
    The pastor will welcome the guests, pray and give a definition of marriage. 
    Bride's father will give a prayer and blessing to the couple.
    Bride and groom will exchange vows of commitment. 
    Unity ceremony of some sort (not sure if it will be sand, or rope or what)
    Pastor gives a blessing and benediction. 

    Bride and groom move immediately in to a reception line followed by cake and punch in the fellowship hall. 

    Any other thoughts or brilliant suggestions to add or make this work?

    Thanks in advance. 
    LadyNara said:
    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 

    I was totally going to say that I didn't buy the "friend" part.

                                                                     

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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    No one is being disrespectful to you.  Your friend needs to accept the idea that she is married.  She cannot have another wedding ceremony.  That ship has sailed.
    She can have a lovely party to celebrate both her return and her new marriage.  No ceremony, because she is already married.  No wedding dress for the same reason.  Dinner, drinks, dancing, toasts are all OK, though.  She should celebrate, by all means. 
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    LadyNaraLadyNara member
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    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    
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    madamerwinmadamerwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    LadyNara said:
    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 
    Sorry, but if you lurk on here a bit, you will see that no one will tell you that having a fake ceremony is ok. They are already married; they only get one wedding day. Having a kick-ass party after the fact is great, but having a fake wedding ceremony is just pointless.
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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    Hello everyone, this doesn't really fit in to a category so I'm sticking it in here in hopes that you have some brilliant ideas.

    My very dear friend left home to be a missionary a few years ago, while in the mission field she met a wonderful man and a few months ago they had a wedding in Costa Rica and are married.  Unfortunately, due to travel issues no one from home including any of her family were able to attend.  

    She is currently home for about a month with her new husband and since no one from her friends and family were able to fly down then we want to have a celebration now in order to bless the marriage and give them well wishes. 

    They do want to have some sort of ceremony and not just a party.  My thoughts were as follows:

    They walk down the isle together to meet the pastor up front. 
    The pastor will welcome the guests, pray and give a definition of marriage. 
    Bride's father will give a prayer and blessing to the couple.
    Bride and groom will exchange vows of commitment. 
    Unity ceremony of some sort (not sure if it will be sand, or rope or what)
    Pastor gives a blessing and benediction. 

    Bride and groom move immediately in to a reception line followed by cake and punch in the fellowship hall. 

    Any other thoughts or brilliant suggestions to add or make this work?

    Thanks in advance. 
    JIC

    No one was rude, OP.  Your friend is already married.  There is no need to reenact the ceremony.  Throw a party and call it "Celebration of Marriage."  


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    madamerwinmadamerwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    
    Then by all means, they should have whatever celebration they can afford. They can have a priest bless their marriage, but no one will tell you that a fake wedding ceremony and reception with all the trappings of a wedding is ok.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    Your friend's situation is not "unique".  Many people, especially military couples, have simple courthouse weddings because of time and money constraints.  We get ladies on here all the time that want another wedding because they think they missed out, or their families missed out on their "real" weddings. (This means a second ceremony with all the trimmings, this time.) 
    The answer is always the same.  You get ONE WEDDING.  Period.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    

    God did bless their marriage.  God is in a courthouse, too.
    I am sure everyone already wishes them well.  I know I do.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:

    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    

    As PPs have said, have the pastor bless the marriage, but don't do a reenactment of the ceremony (i.e. No new vows, no new "I dos", just a blessing for the couple). Invite whomever you want, tell them there will be a short blessing, and a great party. And by great I mean whatever they are able to properly host at whatever time of day. Doesn't have to be a blow-out fancy extravaganza, just has to be well hosted.
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Out of curiosity, what was the nature of their wedding? Was it at a courthouse?




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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    
    They can certainly have their marriage blessed.  But didn't people already congratulate them?

    Just because they are missionaries, doesn't mean that they get a pass.

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 
    So your friend is so overly sensitive that she can't stand to hear honest, objective feedback, such as "I think a ceremony when you are already married is silly and hokey" or "Skip all the ceremony stuff. They already had a wedding ceremony in Costa Rica."

    Seriously?  None of that is "cold water" or mean in any way.  Sheesh.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    
    So what happened at the wedding ceremony in Costa Rica?  Was it not a religious ceremony?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    LadyNara said:

    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    


    So God didn't bless their marriage in Costa Rica? That just makes it sound like they couldn't wait to bang so they got married in haste. Either you're married or you aren't.
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    lembasloverlembaslover member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    
    If they want to have a pastor say a blessing or a few words or have a family member say some congratulations or blessings then that's fine, they can give a toast before dinner or cake or at the beginning of the party. A full ceremony is silly. And no one said they have to throw a big party if they just want family/friends over for cake and punch that's cool if they want dinner and a DJ and dancing that is cool too. The point is that the party (however big/small) is ok but the ceremony is not. 

    Also the wording of the post I quoted makes it sound like they just wanted a ceremony and no reception, also not cool even if they weren't married. You must host your guests with something, cake and punch is just fine. 
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    As a missionary I would really assume that someone religious facilitated their wedding ceremony in Costa Rica in the first place. Did that not happen?? 

    Look, my parents got married in my mother's Methodist church. A few years later, they had my sister, and my dad- who's always been Catholic- wanted to raise his kid(s) Catholic. The only way to baptize my sister was to have another wedding ceremony-- a covalidation, they call it-- in the Catholic Church. 
    Those are small, fairly private affairs. 

    Whatever religion these folks are, they can have a party. I love the suggestion above of inviting a pastor to bless them. I visualize a party with a pastor/reverend/father saying some words about how wonderful marriage is and leading a blessing and maybe a prayer (like the Our Father), and then everyone taking part in cake and punch. 

    The bottom line is these people are already married. Maybe people are so desperate to watch Person A vow themselves to Person B, but recreating that moment is just so weird to the vast majority of people!  If your family missed your high school graduation, would you call the school principal to your backyard so they can hand you a piece a paper in front of your family? 
    ________________________________


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    sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    thisismynickname said:
    As a missionary I would really assume that someone religious facilitated their wedding ceremony in Costa Rica in the first place. Did that not happen?? 

    Look, my parents got married in my mother's Methodist church. A few years later, they had my sister, and my dad- who's always been Catholic- wanted to raise his kid(s) Catholic. The only way to baptize my sister was to have another wedding ceremony-- a covalidation, they call it-- in the Catholic Church. 
    Those are small, fairly private affairs. 

    Whatever religion these folks are, they can have a party. I love the suggestion above of inviting a pastor to bless them. I visualize a party with a pastor/reverend/father saying some words about how wonderful marriage is and leading a blessing and maybe a prayer (like the Our Father), and then everyone taking part in cake and punch. 

    The bottom line is these people are already married. Maybe people are so desperate to watch Person A vow themselves to Person B, but recreating that moment is just so weird to the vast majority of people!  If your family missed your high school graduation, would you call the school principal to your backyard so they can hand you a piece a paper in front of your family? 
    This. I absolutely love this comparison.
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    ClaraGraceClaraGrace member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    If they're both Catholic, it's a Convalidation and they'll need to speak to their parish. I know our rules, but we're fairly conservative and it'd take more than a month. Furthermore, there's rarely a big guest list or party.

    However, it's my understanding that we're the only ones who recognize the Sacrament of Matrimony. Which is behind a Convalidation.

    Protestant weddings however already had God present in any wedding, so it's a moot point.

    And all this is moot even for Catholics if I'm correct in my reading that they've already had a church wedding.
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