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Unique celebration - Suggestions needed - Wedding Celebration after the fact

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Re: Unique celebration - Suggestions needed - Wedding Celebration after the fact

  • GlamQueenBrideGlamQueenBride member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    If guests all know that this is a re-enactment, I don't see the big deal with having another ceremony.
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  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    LadyNara said:
    Hello everyone, this doesn't really fit in to a category so I'm sticking it in here in hopes that you have some brilliant ideas.
    Not unique at all, the Etiquette category has a thread about this type of thing stickied because it is such a common occurrence: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first!

    LadyNara said:
    Yeah.  Thanks for the cold water guys.  Glad it's me and not my friend you are replying to. 
    Sorry that being told pretend weddings are silly felt like a splash of cold water, but at least this way you're in a great position to guide your friend toward a meaningful celebration of her marriage!

    LadyNara said:
    They do want to have some sort of ceremony and not just a party. My thoughts were as follows:

    They walk down the isle together to meet the pastor up front.
    The pastor will welcome the guests, pray and give a definition of marriage.
    Bride's father will give a prayer and blessing to the couple.
    Bride and groom will exchange vows of commitment.
    Unity ceremony of some sort (not sure if it will be sand, or rope or what)
    Pastor gives a blessing and benediction.
    Bride and groom move immediately in to a reception line followed by cake and punch in the fellowship hall
    Considering they are a devout couple I'd expect them to hold the sanctity of their wedding ceremony in high regard and not act like it didn't count or like God wasn't a part of it. They can certainly invite the wife's father and their pastor to give a blessing over the couple. However, a vow renewal / do-over unity ceremony so soon after their wedding would be very strange. Those two elements would make it seem like something was wrong or illegitimate about their union in Costa Rica.

    Everyone here is offering helpful suggestions so that your friends can have a warm & happy celebration rather than a shady embarrassing one!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    ClaraGrace said:
    If they're both Catholic, it's a Convalidation and they'll need to speak to their parish. I know our rules, but we're fairly conservative and it'd take more than a month. Furthermore, there's rarely a big guest list or party. However, it's my understanding that we're the only ones who recognize the Sacrament of Matrimony. Which is behind a Convalidation. Protestant weddings however already had God present in any wedding, so it's a moot point. And all this is moot even for Catholics if I'm correct in my reading that they've already had a church wedding.
    The Orthodox faith also regards Holy Matrimony as a sacrament.

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  • ClaraGraceClaraGrace member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:


    ClaraGrace said:

    If they're both Catholic, it's a Convalidation and they'll need to speak to their parish. I know our rules, but we're fairly conservative and it'd take more than a month. Furthermore, there's rarely a big guest list or party.

    However, it's my understanding that we're the only ones who recognize the Sacrament of Matrimony. Which is behind a Convalidation.

    Protestant weddings however already had God present in any wedding, so it's a moot point.

    And all this is moot even for Catholics if I'm correct in my reading that they've already had a church wedding.

    The Orthodox faith also regards Holy Matrimony as a sacrament.



    Thank you! My mistake on that.
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  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2015
    OP, I was raised Baptist and am now very involved in a non-denominational/Pentecostal church. I feel certain that anyone in my church would agree that God was present at the original wedding.

    Absolutely have a pastor bless the marriage at the celebration if that is important to the couple. But as far as reenacting the ceremony goes, most people would frown on it.

    None of the ladies on here are trying to be mean or condescending, including myself. We are all just trying to offer a different perspective. I hope you'll keep participating in the discussions. You used good grammar, which is a rarity ;)

    Etf words

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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why are you planning your friend's "wedding"??  Isn't that her and her Husband's job??

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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    GlamQueenBride said:

    If guests all know that this is a re-enactment, I don't see the big deal with having another ceremony.

    Agreed. I'm not religious, but I wouldn't side eye this. I'd probably think it was sweet if there was a significant relationship with the pastor or congregation in question - which I'm sure there is if they're missionaries.
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LadyNara said:
    They are Missionaries they can't afford a "big party".  And it's more important to them to have God bless their marriage and to have everyone's well wishes.    

    So God missed out on their wedding, too?  Those must have been some hastily planned nuptials for God to miss that.  Normally God is much more on the ball about those last minute invites.  Must have been vacationing in the Dominican Republic that week.

    If they are catholic and looking to get back in good standing, then there are certain rules they must follow, classes, they take, and nearly every convalidation I've been aware of for my friends has taken place with only two witnesses and has been a very small affair.  But being missionaries, they must be aware of that already if catholic.

    If that's not the case, then it seems like it really isn't "all about God" and at least a little bit about showing off and making up for what they feel they missed out on.  Otherwise, it wouldn't seem like it would be that difficult to approach their pastor, ask for a blessing, and then go out to dinner with their family afterwards without the fanfare of walking down aisles and pouring sand into a vase.  Last I heard, God still approved of marriages that don't pour sand or tie ropes.

    Otherwise, just call it what it is - a marriage blessing.  No vows or unity ceremony - they already did that.  They are united.  Have the blessing and then have a party.  You can have celebration parties without pretending they are weddings.

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