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Surprise wedding today, groom has NO idea - UPDATE ANTICLIMACTIC

kmmssgkmmssg mod
Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
edited December 2015 in Chit Chat
One of the guys I work with has a daughter getting married today. She was supposed to get married in his backyard a couple of months ago but their was something in the plans that got a little carried away (no idea what) and my coworker said "that's not happening." Wedding was postponed. Well, his daughter has decided that she is surprising her FI with a wedding today at city hall. He thinks they are going there for some friends, but the parents and siblings will all be there waiting and this poor guy is about to find out he is expected to get married. Coworker and others have tried to tell her this is a bad idea but she "knows" this is really awesome. If I get any feedback, I'll let you know. I so don't think this is a good idea at all.

UPDATE:  Well, the groom thought it was freaking awesome.  They got married and everyone went  out to eat.  That's it.
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Re: Surprise wedding today, groom has NO idea - UPDATE ANTICLIMACTIC

  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Oh boy... I'm nervous about this... updates, please
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  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Well this is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard. It sounds like a terrible idea to me. For crying out loud, it's not a birthday party.... It's a wedding. Not exactly one of those things you just spring on people ya know?

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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    So much no! That poor guy.....and how awkward for the guests if he isn't thrilled. Ugh, why would you put your partner in this position?!!
                 
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer



                                                                     

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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited December 2015
    NowIAmSyp said:

    Oh boy... I'm nervous about this... updates, please

    Agreed. This sounds like exactly the kind of thread to keep me entertained on a slow work day!
                 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Surprise weddings, whether it be a surprise for one half of the couple or to all of your "party" guests, is never ever a good idea.  Just no.

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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I hope he's ready for that.  I feel bad for him.  And I hope everyone he really wanted there got told too.  Otherwise I'd give him a pass for a PPD.  ;)

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Well, at least the guy is actually engaged, right, and had already been planning to get married a few months ago?

    Give a person a few days heads' up at least, sheesh:

    ________________________________


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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I loathe these sorts of surprises.   Don't even tell me that I should pack my bags and we're going on vacation.   If it's a big enough thing that you want to do with me you want to plan it with me.


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  • ericasm0703ericasm0703 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    This has already been an exciting day and I've been at work for less than 3 hours. I can't imagine being on the receiving end of this surprise. Not at all a good idea.

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I hope that someone, for the groom's sake, has spilled the beans to him.  If he were my sibling, I think I would have to give him a heads up.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    WinstonsGirl said:
    I hope he's ready for that.  I feel bad for him.  And I hope everyone he really wanted there got told too.  Otherwise I'd give him a pass for a PPD.  ;)
    Wait for it.... there WILL be a PPD later on.
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    This girl sounds BSC. I hope the groom sees this as a warning flag and reassesses his relationship.....
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    banana468 said:
    I loathe these sorts of surprises.   Don't even tell me that I should pack my bags and we're going on vacation.   If it's a big enough thing that you want to do with me you want to plan it with me.


    Yes! exactly.  Remember that video that went viral last year about a husband surprising his wife with a trip overseas?  Sweet and all - but both my friend and I saw that and said "I just couldn't drop work! What about tying up loose ends???" I mean, he cleared it with her work first - but he doesn't know what projects she's right in the middle of....?

    I'm with PP's....never a good idea.  That girl should look at it if roles were reversed.  Would she like the surprise? 

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    This has the potential to go epically, virally wrong.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    For the man's sake, I hope he's thrilled with the surprise. If he's not - awkward.


                       
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    Unlike Banana I would not be upset with DH saying "pack your bags we are going on vacation".    Easy to say because DH can't keep a surprise to save his life.  So it would never happen.  

      Surprise wedding?  Fuck no.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My issue would be the logistics of all of it.   What about my time off?   My workload?   Is that all organized?

    With getting married, that's HUGE.   At least they're already engaged.   I'm not a fan of majorly surprise engagements either.   If it's going to be for the rest of our lives, shouldn't the proposal just be a formality?  DH and I knew we were getting married.   We didn't consider ourselves engaged or wedding planning until he popped the question but we both knew that was the plan.     
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    My issue would be the logistics of all of it.   What about my time off?   My workload?   Is that all organized?

    With getting married, that's HUGE.   At least they're already engaged.   I'm not a fan of majorly surprise engagements either.   If it's going to be for the rest of our lives, shouldn't the proposal just be a formality?  DH and I knew we were getting married.   We didn't consider ourselves engaged or wedding planning until he popped the question but we both knew that was the plan.     
    I'd be pretty floored (in a good way) if DH planned a weekend trip and surprised me.  If it involved taking time off work and rescheduling meetings, I'd be a bit anxious.  

    Regarding the proposal being a formality, as un-romantic as it sounds, I have to agree.  DH & I knew that's what he wanted.  And I knew he had the ring (it was not his plan for me to know, but things happen).  But if he had proposed at a point where we really hadn't gotten there in our relationships (or if there were still outstanding questions / doubts), then I would've been a little bit annoyed / concerned.




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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I do not get the surprise wedding trend. Looking forward to my wedding day was pretty fun even without a super long engagement. I would have been annoyed if someone took that away from me. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    Unlike Banana I would not be upset with DH saying "pack your bags we are going on vacation".    Easy to say because DH can't keep a surprise to save his life.  So it would never happen.  

      Surprise wedding?  Fuck no.
    This is a know your partner thing.

    We have limited number of vacations/per year that we can take because of work, budget and other obligations, lots of other obligations. If my husband books a trip without consulting me,  he'd better give me plenty of notice. He should also know that I will be planning the next vacation. 
                       
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lyndausvi said:

    Unlike Banana I would not be upset with DH saying "pack your bags we are going on vacation".    Easy to say because DH can't keep a surprise to save his life.  So it would never happen.  

      Surprise wedding?  Fuck no.

    I'm going to echo Marie that its a know your partner thing. I wouldn't do it to DH either. At least we wouldn't do it on no notice.

    DH planned a weekend in NYC in May as my birthday gift and my birthday is in April. I dug that.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    MairePoppy said:
    lyndausvi said:
    Unlike Banana I would not be upset with DH saying "pack your bags we are going on vacation".    Easy to say because DH can't keep a surprise to save his life.  So it would never happen.  

      Surprise wedding?  Fuck no.
    This is a know your partner thing.

    We have limited number of vacations/per year that we can take because of work, budget and other obligations, lots of other obligations. If my husband books a trip without consulting me,  he'd better give me plenty of notice. He should also know that I will be planning the next vacation. 
    definitely.    

    I could never surprise DH with a weekend getaway, do to his work.   This time of year Monday-Wednesday I could easily do it.    My schedule is flexible. I tell my boss I'm taking off.  I don't have to ask.    Just today I called to say I'm taking off tomorrow to go get my car (2 hours away - one way).   

    But if you can plan a surprise getaway, cool.   A surprise marriage.   That is a whole different level.  You will be FUCKING MARRIED.  Not just getting away for a few days and returning to your normal legal status.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Only way I'd have been ok with a surprise wedding is if we had won a spectacular 30K wedding for free...like DH went to buy some green beer and they said we'll foot the full bill if you leave tonight. I'd be disappointed we didn't win a premiere league soccer game...
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would love surprise travel if I had enough time to pack my own bag, lol. Not just "look honey we're at the airport and here's your stuff!"

    However, as DH works for the airlines, a surprise trip is more in our reach than for non-travel-industry folks. Usually we do plan our weekend getaways a few weeks in advance, but one boring Friday, he texted me: "Wanna go to Napa tonight?" Me: "Yes." We raced home, threw stuff in bags, and got to the airport for a 9pm flight. That was pretty awesome. 

    Looking back, planning a wedding had its fun moments, and it would suck to have that taken away from me with a surprise courthouse wedding. Maybe this guy wasn't much into the planning in the first place, but my DH was definitely involved. 
    ________________________________


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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would probably be annoyed by surprise vacations because I have little time off and I want to talk out and plan how exactly we'll use it to maximize fun vacations and trying to see family. What he wants to do is not always what I want to do or what I think we should do and vice versa.

    Also, just because my work approved the time off doesn't mean much. I'm a journalist and I may have scheduled interviews or promised that I'd cover certain meetings or events that my bosses don't know about. I've shared my calendar with them before, but they don't really look at it. Usually, they don't know exactly what I'm doing until the day of. So my first day of vacation would be frantically emailing people and postponing interviews and telling my boss I'd planned and told people I'd be covering xyz thing so they better go to it.

    A surprise wedding, no, no, no.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Well at least he went along with it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I guess the woman knew her fi well enough to know it would be okay with him.
                       
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  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I mean, I GUESS it's okay because he was down with it? But I was really hoping for a more dramatic ending to this story....
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