No Ring-Bearer!

KnottieTaylor · December 2015

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

jenna8984 · December 2015

What do you mean alternatives? I didn't have a RB or flower girl.......you don't need one.

KnottieTaylor · December 2015

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.

We may not include a flower-girl or ring-bearer, just looking for ideas in case we do go that route.

thisismynickname2 · December 2015

None needed. Have a bridal party member just carry the rings. We didn't have a ring bearer or flower girl.

Also, if you're asking because you don't have a young boy to carry the rings as is traditional, but you are having a flower girl, have the flower girl carry the ring pillow. #feminism

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

Knottie1448952431 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog. We may not include a flower-girl or ring-bearer, just looking for ideas in case we do go that route.

We had 2 flower girls and no ring bearer. The best man had the rings in his pocket. Even if a couple did have a ring bearer, I don't think they would / should give the real rings to a child. I'm used to seeing a fake ring attached to the pillow and one of the attendants or the celebrant has the real rings..

labro · December 2015

holyguacamole79 said:

Knottie1448952431 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog. We may not include a flower-girl or ring-bearer, just looking for ideas in case we do go that route.

We had 2 flower girls and no ring bearer. The best man had the rings in his pocket. Even if a couple did have a ring bearer, I don't think they would / should give the real rings to a child. I'm used to seeing a fake ring attached to the pillow and one of the attendants or the celebrant has the real rings..

This this this this this.

We gave the rings to our best man and our nephew carried an empty ring box down the aisle. Good thing too....he got to the end, opened the box, looked inside, and then shook it upside down because he couldn't find any rings in there. Adorable, and a perfect photo op, but yeah...would've been a bad bad day if the rings had been inside.

OP, it's totally ok to not have a ring bearer. Most people won't even notice or care about whether or not you do. If you don't have a young boy or girl you're close to that you'd ask, then just don't worry about it. At least the last four weddings I've attended haven't included either flower girls or ring bearers, and I think one just had a flower girl. It seriously doesn't matter. I would not involve a pet even if you had one....

[Deleted User] · December 2015

Knottie1448952431 said:

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

Give the rings to the officiant. Give the rings to the groom. Give the rings to the best man or maid of honor. Give the rings to the father of the groom. Bride carries the groom's ring, groom carries the bride's. Have the rings already at the altar. Hire a 6 year old professional model to be your ring-bearer. There are so many options I can't believe this subject requires an exclamation point. At least it's not in all caps with the word HELP!!!! after it.

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

jacques27 · December 2015

Knottie1448952431 said:

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

Pockets.

Heffalump · December 2015

Knottie1448952431 said:

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

I hate to be a smart ass*, but an alternative to not having a ring bearer would be...having a ring bearer. HTH.

In all seriousness, just have the best man carry them. As PP mentioned, that's what we did anyway, even though we had a ring bearer. The RB was purely a ceremonial role.

* I don't actually hate to be a smart ass.

sparklepants41 · December 2015

jacques27 said:

Knottie1448952431 said:

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

Pockets.

I love you.
Edited: darn it all! I had an awesome gif and it won't post!!!

cupcait927 · December 2015

We had my FIL hold on to them and then bring them up to the officiant when it came time. That's another suggestion.

AddieCake · December 2015

No ring bearer?!?!? Egads!

mileybangerz · December 2015

Your wedding will not be valid without a ring bearer.

Just kidding.

Jen4948 · December 2015

No ring bearer is necessary. Either have one or more ring bearers, or none.

Jen4948 · December 2015

Knottie1448952431 said:
Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.

For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

SP29 · December 2015

Just don't have a ring bearer.

We had one (our nephew), and he carried a pillow- but there wasn't anything attached to it! (Looking back, I don't know why we bothered with the pillow.... tradition I guess). DH/Best man had the rings and gave them to the officiant.

My friend and her now husband didn't have a wedding party. Each of their mother's held and presented the rings at the appropriate time.

spockforprez · December 2015

We're having a "ring bearer" but he won't be carrying rings. He's my 5 (will be 6) year old nephew and asked to be the ring bearer, but I think he knows there's no rings involved because last time he was RB he carried a sign. I think I'll have him carry a watering can because his sister will be carrying a bouquet - we kinda have a wildflower motif going on.

ETA my entire point which I left off because I got distracted lol. We are giving the rings to his parents so they will have a small moment in the ceremony. The whole thing is at my parents' house so I want to make sure his parents feel included too. I think the symbolism will be sweet, too.

RlovesR · December 2015

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

drunkenwitch · December 2015

jacques27 said:

Knottie1448952431 said:

What are some alternatives to not having a ring-bearer?

Pockets.

Eta boxes

JediElizabeth · December 2015

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

RlovesR · December 2015

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.

CMGragain · December 2015

Why do you think you need a ring bearer? They are not necessary. Traditionally, the best man has the rings in his pocket until they are needed.

AddieCake · December 2015

I despise pets in weddings. I judge the hell out of that.

Teddy917 · December 2015

RlovesR said:

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Knottie1448952431 said:
Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.

But you also have to consider guests that may be allergic or absolutely terrified of dogs.

Jen4948 · December 2015

Teddy917 said:

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.
But you also have to consider guests that may be allergic or absolutely terrified of dogs.

Not to mention that the dogs may sniff, lick, or bite guests, urinate or defecate when and where they're not supposed to, and may run off with, scratch, swallow, or otherwise lose the rings.

While it could be argued that kids might do most of these things as well, I think kids are easier to predict and control in this situation than dogs.

holyguacamole79 · December 2015

Re: dogs. We had a dog whom we always joked would be the ring bearer at my brother's wedding (the dog died 2 years before the wedding). She loved wearing a tiara and loved being the center of attention. And she was also good at shaking hands. I don't think we would've ever done it, but she's the only dog I've ever known who would remotely be a possibility.

emmaaa · December 2015

Don't have one. DH and I didn't have a ring bearer or flower girl and just has the best man hold the rings.

lembaslover · December 2015

Jen4948 said:

Teddy917 said:

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.
But you also have to consider guests that may be allergic or absolutely terrified of dogs.

Not to mention that the dogs may sniff, lick, or bite guests, urinate or defecate when and where they're not supposed to, and may run off with, scratch, swallow, or otherwise lose the rings.

While it could be argued that kids might do most of these things as well, I think kids are easier to predict and control in this situation than dogs.

Not this again... Jen4948 you got your ass handed to you last time you argued this on a different post a few months ago, pretty much everyone said you were being ridiculous. We get it you don't like dogs or small children.

We had a dog as our ring bearer and it was great, he was happy, his parents were happy not having to leave him with a stranger to watch him, all the other guests have seen and played with him at some point prior. Know your dog, know your guests, and make an educated decision.

Jen4948 · December 2015

marriedhamstermom said:

Jen4948 said:

Teddy917 said:

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.
But you also have to consider guests that may be allergic or absolutely terrified of dogs.

Not to mention that the dogs may sniff, lick, or bite guests, urinate or defecate when and where they're not supposed to, and may run off with, scratch, swallow, or otherwise lose the rings.

While it could be argued that kids might do most of these things as well, I think kids are easier to predict and control in this situation than dogs.

Not this again... Jen4948 you got your ass handed to you last time you argued this on a different post a few months ago, pretty much everyone said you were being ridiculous. We get it you don't like dogs or small children.

We had a dog as our ring bearer and it was great, he was happy, his parents were happy not having to leave him with a stranger to watch him, all the other guests have seen and played with him at some point prior. Know your dog, know your guests, and make an educated decision.

Excuse me, but the bolded is bull fucking shit.

First of all, you have no right to tell me how to post or what opinions to express. I have as much right to voice my opinion as you do whether or not you think it's "ridiculous" or anything else.

The fact that it worked for you does not make it a good idea in general. There are valid reasons why. I don't give a fuck if you think they are "ridiculous." You have no right to expect everyone to agree with you.

lembaslover · December 2015

Jen4948 said:

marriedhamstermom said:

Jen4948 said:

Teddy917 said:

JediElizabeth said:

RlovesR said:

Jen4948 said:

Some people have their rings carried by a pet. Love the idea, super cute, but we don't have a dog.
For a number of reasons I think that however cute this is, it's not a good idea. I don't recommend it.

I think this is actually really cruel. You've got an animal in an unfamiliar environment that's probably already stressed out by waiting with the WP for the processional. It's being walked down an aisle by an unfamiliar or less familiar person since its owners are busy getting married. Lots of people staring, some of them probably making 'aww' noises and or whatever, and then it sees its people at the end the aisle and is expected to just walk slowly towards them? And be taken away from them after? My dog would come barreling down the aisle at me, probably knock me over, and then be bereft if he had to go at that point. Why would I do that to him just for a cute photo op?

This depends entirely on the dog.

A family dog dog walked by the brides sister? Probably fine.
A small outdoor ceremony with plenty of space to play during the reception, and where the dog knows most attendees? No worse than bringing the pup to a family BBQ.
A well socialized dog, like you would likely find in dog parks in big cities like NYC? She's probably chill with anyone around.

For my mom's dog it would be cruel - she's part Australian Sheppard, and has all the anxiety & attachment issues typical of that breed. But for the Westie we had growing up, it wouldn't be. Just know your dog.

you're probably right; it may depend on the animal. I've got a greyhound; no way he could deal.
But you also have to consider guests that may be allergic or absolutely terrified of dogs.

Not to mention that the dogs may sniff, lick, or bite guests, urinate or defecate when and where they're not supposed to, and may run off with, scratch, swallow, or otherwise lose the rings.

While it could be argued that kids might do most of these things as well, I think kids are easier to predict and control in this situation than dogs.

Not this again... Jen4948 you got your ass handed to you last time you argued this on a different post a few months ago, pretty much everyone said you were being ridiculous. We get it you don't like dogs or small children.

We had a dog as our ring bearer and it was great, he was happy, his parents were happy not having to leave him with a stranger to watch him, all the other guests have seen and played with him at some point prior. Know your dog, know your guests, and make an educated decision.

Excuse me, but the bolded is bull fucking shit.

First of all, you have no right to tell me how to post or what opinions to express. I have as much right to voice my opinion as you do whether or not you think it's "ridiculous" or anything else.

The fact that it worked for you does not make it a good idea in general. There are valid reasons why. I don't give a fuck if you think they are "ridiculous." You have no right to expect everyone to agree with you.

It's not BS, anyone can look at either of our discussion histories and see that there was a heated discussion a few months ago where you were telling a poor girl how cruel she was being and kept making up ridiculous scenarios on what could happen. Pretty sure I'm the one who pointed out that children can do all of those things you claimed dogs do. Then you started saying that it means that she hates her guests and would rather have a dog present then guests. Many people told you how ridiculous you were being. According to TOS I can't link it here for people to see but you know it's true.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me and you have no right to expect everyone to agree with you either. I'm pointing out it worked fine in my scenario to let people know it is an option. You're the one hellbent in telling people it's not a good idea in general. Well I disagree I think it's great to include them when possible. Accept that different opinion. It's not cruel unless you make it a cruel situation.

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