Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Just Engaged and Proposals
Just Engaged and Proposals
New Discussion

Friend just got engaged. Thunder stolen; now what?

Knottie1433279058Knottie1433279058 member
First Comment
in Just Engaged and Proposals
Okay, I got engaged in May and I'm getting married in November.  My friend (a VERY good friend) just got engaged last night, and I'm FURIOUS.  She's getting married next April but wants to have her engagement party the same night I'm having my bachelorette party.  I'm so angry at her!  

My question: How do I deal with this?  Now my friends want to take us out together to celebrate...I want my own time.  
Report Reply to Post

Re: Friend just got engaged. Thunder stolen; now what?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    Knottie1433279058 said:
    Okay, I got engaged in May and I'm getting married in November.  My friend (a VERY good friend) just got engaged last night, and I'm FURIOUS.  She's getting married next April but wants to have her engagement party the same night I'm having my bachelorette party.  I'm so angry at her!  

    My question: How do I deal with this?  Now my friends want to take us out together to celebrate...I want my own time.  
    MUD?  If the other bride is really a close friend of yours, then why can't you talk to her about scheduling your parties so that they don't conflict?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You're being ridiculous. I hope this is MUD because if you are serious, you need a reality check.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • IamnowmrsjmsIamnowmrsjms member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    TROLL!


    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I am hoping that this is MUD, because if it isn't, hello bridezilla!

    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    image
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    CMGragain.  If you guys are really good friends, talk to her.


    Anniversary



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Obvious troll gets a D-.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Knottie91379610Knottie91379610 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Wow, a few of the posters are being pretty pretentious and assumptive.So ignore them.

    I think it's fine to react out of jealousy, that's natural. The problem is, it's not worth damaging your relationship with this friend by being confrontational, angry, and bitter.

    One the day I got engaged, on Feb 14. My fiance's cousin got engaged...and his brother also got engaged. Was I jealous? Of course I was. Everyone was happy for us, but we were forgotten about the next day. But did I get over myself? Of course. Because I realized that we are still getting married, I have my best friend for the rest of my life. I was happy for them, and excited for us! We all picked different dates, so it didn't even matter. I am excited to share in with the future wedding showers and parties :)

    Now, with this situation, you need a couple days to cool down. You can be angry, you can be bitter, you can feel whatever you want to feel as long as you're not taking it out on people and hurting people. But once you muster up all those feelings, LET IT GO. She is your friend, and I know you care about her! Give yourself time, and you won't be so angry about this whole thing. If not, you need to do a little soul searching. How important is your friend to you? How much do you value her feelings? When you know you can talk to her graciously and kindly, see if you guys can find a compromise. You might have to change your own date if she can't, but do it with a gracious heart. This transition in her life is just as important as yours, and let her know it. 
    Report Reply
  • randomsloverandomslove member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My sister got engaged last November. I got engaged in April. She isn't married yet and she's very happy for me. I've had friends get engaged and married already since I got engaged. Guess what? I don't care. It's great for them, doesn't change my life one iota.

    Knottie91379610 said about being forgotten (not to mention the whole "I got engaged on V-Day but magically thought the world should revolve around it being MY special day"-- glad you got over that, by the way, good to hear)... you don't get engaged to get attention. You get engaged to announce an intention to marry the person you love. If you're upset about thunder being stolen, you should probably sit down and explore why you feel jilted, why it matters to you that other people are happy. If, seriously, the attention you get from being engaged and getting married is a motivation to get married so much that it depresses you when that attention is no longer yours, you may want to reevaluate getting married.

    I'm not trying to be mean, by the way. I'm serious. If you're upset that someone else is getting married and possibly "stealing your thunder," you may want to reevaluate. You're getting married. You are pledging to spend your life with another human being. That's a pretty big decision. Think it over. Figure out why this bothers you. Address it, move on. Good luck.





    Report Reply
  • stephaniemike10216stephaniemike10216 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My fiance's first cousin (and his best man) booked his wedding 3 weeks before ours when we had ours booked for a year.  Half of our wedding guests will be the same.  This stuff happens & sucks... Just remember this time will be special to you & your family.  It could definitely be worse.  Congrats!
    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    randomslove said: My sister got engaged last November. I got engaged in April. She isn't married yet and she's very happy for me. I've had friends get engaged and married already since I got engaged. Guess what? I don't care. It's great for them, doesn't change my life one iota.

    Knottie91379610 said about being forgotten (not to mention the whole "I got engaged on V-Day but magically thought the world should revolve around it being MY special day"-- glad you got over that, by the way, good to hear)... you don't get engaged to get attention. You get engaged to announce an intention to marry the person you love. If you're upset about thunder being stolen, you should probably sit down and explore why you feel jilted, why it matters to you that other people are happy. If, seriously, the attention you get from being engaged and getting married is a motivation to get married so much that it depresses you when that attention is no longer yours, you may want to reevaluate getting married.

    I'm not trying to be mean, by the way. I'm serious. If you're upset that someone else is getting married and possibly "stealing your thunder," you may want to reevaluate. You're getting married. You are pledging to spend your life with another human being. That's a pretty big decision. Think it over. Figure out why this bothers you. Address it, move on. Good luck.
     I think this ^^ is very nicely said. I can't be as nice here. I have no idea why someone would feel "forgotten about" because other people got engaged around the same time. What breeds this? Seriously? Is it, "When my friends got engaged, everyone was always talking about them and their wedding and     I want to be the focus for once..."  Frankly, I think it's pathetic. Just enjoy the fact that you found someone special to spend your life with. 
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • rrroxannerrroxanne member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I didn't read a lot of the replies on this because they all seemed to be very negative. I think you have every right to feel the way you do. It's a hard time. It's your special time, & you want the spotlight to be on you. Everyone else gets their spotlight, & you want your time to be about you. I think that's fair. Obviously you can't blame your friend for getting engaged. I know my best friend had gotten engaged right around the same time my fiance & I were looking at rings, so I was worried she'd be upset that I would steal her thunder, however she wasn't even planning her wedding for a few years down the road (they were having a baby first). 

    You can enjoy your time, & don't let her engagement bother you. Just think, you can enjoy planning your wedding & talking about wedding stuff without someone being so dull & bored, because they'll be listening for advice, or just having someone to talk about wedding stuff with is exciting. If she is going to be stuck up & not be willing to work towards a common date, knowing you were engaged first & are getting married first, & not willing to change her dates around, that's on her. That shouldn't be your problem. 
    Report Reply
  • JaniV123JaniV123 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    stephaniemike10216 said:
    My fiance's first cousin (and his best man) booked his wedding 3 weeks before ours when we had ours booked for a year.  Half of our wedding guests will be the same.  This stuff happens & sucks... Just remember this time will be special to you & your family.  It could definitely be worse.  Congrats!
    ^This. 

    We got engaged December 2013 and we got married June 13 2015.
    My cousin proposed May 2014 and they got married May 2015. 
    My cousin's wife's shower was the week before mine and we had a blast at both showers.
    Since they got married a month before us some of my cousins from out of state were not able to travel for our wedding.

    No one was upset, no one was jealous and everybody had a good time celebrating love and marriage. 

    Try to figure out why you are feeling this way OP because it is no big deal, be happy for your friend, and try to let her know you are having you bach that day to see if maybe she can reschedule her E-party. Be an adult


    Report Reply
  • lildropofsunshinelildropofsunshine member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Sorry, but what is MUD?
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @lildropofsunshine - MUD = made up drama

    Report Reply
  • lildropofsunshinelildropofsunshine member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Maggie0829 said:
    @lildropofsunshine - MUD = made up drama
    Thanks!
    Report Reply
  • knottie2b256f5c2ae42586knottie2b256f5c2ae42586 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited July 2015

    I think the OP is asking about what to do about the engagement party and bachelorette party being planned for the same day...it sounds to me that that is what she is furious about; not that her friend is also engaged. Hardly anyone addressed her actual question. Everyone just put her down immediately.


    Report Reply
  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Jax43615 said:

    I think the OP is asking about what to do about the engagement party and bachelorette party being planned for the same day...it sounds to me that that is what she is furious about; not that her friend is also engaged. Hardly anyone addressed her actual question. Everyone just put her down immediately.


    First of all, this is a really old thread. Second of all, OP says "my friend got engaged last night and I'm FURIOUS". Who says that? Who feels that way? Someone with a really terrible attitude. Or, someone who's trying to stir up drama (MUD) or a troll.

    There is a lot of really good advice in this forum if you take the time to listen. I personally would have a hard time giving advice to a person who opened with something as obnoxious as OP did.
    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jax43615 said:

    I think the OP is asking about what to do about the engagement party and bachelorette party being planned for the same day...it sounds to me that that is what she is furious about; not that her friend is also engaged. Hardly anyone addressed her actual question. Everyone just put her down immediately.


    Evidence to the contrary: OP's use of the phrase "Thunder stolen."



    Report Reply
  • Knottie1442677185Knottie1442677185 member
    First Comment
    I think it's ok to feel a little jealous, but there's a way to handle the situation of the parties with maturity. She's your friend, whoever had their party planned first keeps that date and the other should reschedule. That would be the polite thing to do, especially if said friend was supposed to be present at said bachelorette party...
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    This thread is 6 months old, and the OP hasn't been logged in since October.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards