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Fun Ceremony Ideas

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Re: Fun Ceremony Ideas

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would be giggling like a child if I were asked to make eye contact with everyone during a moment of the ceremony. How awkward.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    knottie2b256f5c2ae42586knottie2b256f5c2ae42586 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Also, depending on how many ceremony guests there are, it could take a long time. The eye contact thing is unnecessary and weird to me.
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    SP29SP29 member
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    @holyguacamole79 Bahaha! Love that movie! 

    Perhaps eye contact is a bit strong, "look at" would be better. Not so much for the guests to stare longingly at the B&G, but the B&G to "recognize" each of their guests.

    Not something I did, but I've seen it. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    SP29 said:
    @holyguacamole79 Bahaha! Love that movie! 

    Perhaps eye contact is a bit strong, "look at" would be better. Not so much for the guests to stare longingly at the B&G, but the B&G to "recognize" each of their guests.

    Not something I did, but I've seen it. 
    I think it has the potential to make guests uncomfortable to be "recognized" during the ceremony.  I wouldn't do this.  I'd just save the fun for the reception.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Jen4948 said:
    SP29 said:
    @holyguacamole79 Bahaha! Love that movie! 

    Perhaps eye contact is a bit strong, "look at" would be better. Not so much for the guests to stare longingly at the B&G, but the B&G to "recognize" each of their guests.

    Not something I did, but I've seen it. 
    I think it has the potential to make guests uncomfortable to be "recognized" during the ceremony.  I wouldn't do this.  I'd just save the fun for the reception.
    My sister did something kinda like this.  She had heard from her friends who had recently gotten married, that they wished they had spent a moment just looking out over the sea of faces who were there for them.  The ceremony went by so fast, they didn't stop for a moment to make a memory.  So she put a sentence in her ceremony that I, as the officiant, read.  It was something about just pausing and taking a moment to look at people.  I went on to talk about relationships or some such thing, and when the bride and groom were done looking out over everyone, they turned back to each other.  It was simple, non-invasive, and done in a moment.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    adk19 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    SP29 said:
    @holyguacamole79 Bahaha! Love that movie! 

    Perhaps eye contact is a bit strong, "look at" would be better. Not so much for the guests to stare longingly at the B&G, but the B&G to "recognize" each of their guests.

    Not something I did, but I've seen it. 
    I think it has the potential to make guests uncomfortable to be "recognized" during the ceremony.  I wouldn't do this.  I'd just save the fun for the reception.
    My sister did something kinda like this.  She had heard from her friends who had recently gotten married, that they wished they had spent a moment just looking out over the sea of faces who were there for them.  The ceremony went by so fast, they didn't stop for a moment to make a memory.  So she put a sentence in her ceremony that I, as the officiant, read.  It was something about just pausing and taking a moment to look at people.  I went on to talk about relationships or some such thing, and when the bride and groom were done looking out over everyone, they turned back to each other.  It was simple, non-invasive, and done in a moment.
    Honestly?  This sounds kind of depressing and even morbid to me.  It would make me uncomfortable to hear that outside a funeral or a memorial service-which a wedding isn't.

    The couple is supposed to make eye contact with their guests at the reception-that's part of what it's for.  I think it's unnecessary during the ceremony.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    JediElizabeth said:

    Jen4948 said:


    adk19 said:


    Jen4948 said:


    SP29 said:

    @holyguacamole79 Bahaha! Love that movie! 

    Perhaps eye contact is a bit strong, "look at" would be better. Not so much for the guests to stare longingly at the B&G, but the B&G to "recognize" each of their guests.

    Not something I did, but I've seen it. 

    I think it has the potential to make guests uncomfortable to be "recognized" during the ceremony.  I wouldn't do this.  I'd just save the fun for the reception.

    My sister did something kinda like this.  She had heard from her friends who had recently gotten married, that they wished they had spent a moment just looking out over the sea of faces who were there for them.  The ceremony went by so fast, they didn't stop for a moment to make a memory.  So she put a sentence in her ceremony that I, as the officiant, read.  It was something about just pausing and taking a moment to look at people.  I went on to talk about relationships or some such thing, and when the bride and groom were done looking out over everyone, they turned back to each other.  It was simple, non-invasive, and done in a moment.

    Honestly?  This sounds kind of depressing and even morbid to me.  It would make me uncomfortable to hear that outside a funeral or a memorial service-which a wedding isn't.

    The couple is supposed to make eye contact with their guests at the reception-that's part of what it's for.  I think it's unnecessary during the ceremony.

    >>>>>box<<<<<

    How in the world is this morbid? Looking out and taking a moment to appreciate the people who love you, who are there with you sounds sweet. No ones talking about the people not there anymore or how relationships change and may end.

    I'm honestly confused by this interpretation of that idea. </p>

    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it.

    Sorry, but I don't need the couple to make eye contact with me during their ceremony. I would not find it "sweet." Presumably we will greet each other at the reception in a receiving line and/or during table visits, so it's not like there won't be any opportunities to make eye contact (and at least a few moments of conversation) at all.

    If I'm not in the wedding party, I don't want to be "involved" in the ceremony other than as a spectator. Just by being there, I am "honored" and indicating my support for the couple. Why that's not enough during the ceremony, let alone should be a cause of "regret" to the couple, really doesn't make sense to me if they are graciously hosting me at the reception. The ceremony isn't about me.
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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the advice to just "be you" in thinking of the ceremony is spot on. What works for some couples and guests doesn't work for all.
    I attended a chapel ceremony and the couple made a unity sandwich. And took simultaneous bites of it. It was so perfectly "them" and I definitely got a kick out of it.
    I've seen the wine, bourbon, sand, and plant things too. Whatever you find meaningful.
    ________________________________


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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:

    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 
    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    SP29 said:


    Jen4948 said:

    JediElizabeth said:

    Jen4948 said:



    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 

    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 

    That's your interpretation. I said you (generic) don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to agree with you.

    Once again, I do not need or want to be "recognized" during the ceremony. It is not about me, so I don't want to be expected to make eye contact with the couple on command. I find that expectation to be intrusive.

    It also suggests a degree of insecurity on the couple's part if they don't feel sufficiently "recognized" and supported by the guests' being there, not to mention interactions with them at the reception, that they need to spend time at their ceremony staring at everyone there.
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    Moppet82Moppet82 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 
    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 
    That's your interpretation. I said you (generic) don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to agree with you. Once again, I do not need or want to be "recognized" during the ceremony. It is not about me, so I don't want to be expected to make eye contact with the couple on command. I find that expectation to be intrusive. It also suggests a degree of insecurity on the couple's part if they don't feel sufficiently "recognized" and supported by the guests' being there, not to mention interactions with them at the reception, that they need to spend time at their ceremony staring at everyone there.
    I understood it as a way to take a mental picture of your guests since the day can be a blur for a lot of couples.  I feel it doesn't imply the couple is insecure; just a way for them to really capture the moment. Several people in my life suggested I do the same thing throughout the reception as well, however, I was already planning on doing it since the episode on The Office when Jim and Pam got married.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Moppet82 said:


    Jen4948 said:

    SP29 said:


    Jen4948 said:

    JediElizabeth said:

    Jen4948 said:



    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 

    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 
    That's your interpretation. I said you (generic) don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to agree with you.

    Once again, I do not need or want to be "recognized" during the ceremony. It is not about me, so I don't want to be expected to make eye contact with the couple on command. I find that expectation to be intrusive.

    It also suggests a degree of insecurity on the couple's part if they don't feel sufficiently "recognized" and supported by the guests' being there, not to mention interactions with them at the reception, that they need to spend time at their ceremony staring at everyone there.
    I understood it as a way to take a mental picture of your guests since the day can be a blur for a lot of couples.  I feel it doesn't imply the couple is insecure; just a way for them to really capture the moment. Several people in my life suggested I do the same thing throughout the reception as well, however, I was already planning on doing it since the episode on The Office when Jim and Pam got married.

    What if, when the couple's gaze happens to fall on a particular guest, that particular guest isn't looking them in the eye? Is someone going to whisper to that guest, "Hey, you need to make eye contact with the couple because they're looking at you" ?

    I think trying to script eye contact with guests individually during the ceremony just isn't going to work well in practice.

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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 
    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 
    That's your interpretation. I said you (generic) don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to agree with you. Once again, I do not need or want to be "recognized" during the ceremony. It is not about me, so I don't want to be expected to make eye contact with the couple on command. I find that expectation to be intrusive. It also suggests a degree of insecurity on the couple's part if they don't feel sufficiently "recognized" and supported by the guests' being there, not to mention interactions with them at the reception, that they need to spend time at their ceremony staring at everyone there.
    I understood it as a way to take a mental picture of your guests since the day can be a blur for a lot of couples.  I feel it doesn't imply the couple is insecure; just a way for them to really capture the moment. Several people in my life suggested I do the same thing throughout the reception as well, however, I was already planning on doing it since the episode on The Office when Jim and Pam got married.
    What if, when the couple's gaze happens to fall on a particular guest, that particular guest isn't looking them in the eye? Is someone going to whisper to that guest, "Hey, you need to make eye contact with the couple because they're looking at you" ? I think trying to script eye contact with guests individually during the ceremony just isn't going to work well in practice.
    Nope. It isn't contingent on the guest. When I saw this done at a ceremony, it was fairly quick, with the B&G passing their gaze over each guest. The guests don't know who the B&G are looking at necessarily. Sure, if you made contact a smile was given, but it wasn't like the officiant said, "Bride will start with the guests on her right, first row, first guest on the end and then proceed down the row to the aisle, and then follow her gaze to the second row, starting with the seat against the wall...." It's a lot less "formal" than I think what you're thinking.

    Not that I'm trying to change you mind (you obviously would never do this at your own ceremony)- you can continue to not like the idea. Just responding to your posts/questions. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    SP29 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    We don't have to feel the same way about it, but for me, "take a moment to appreciate everyone" has the implied "because it might be the last time" following it. And I think that has a sad feel to it. 
    It has nothing to do with "because it might be the last time" at all. It's about recognizing these are the people who love and support you and wish you well. Remember that these are the people who you can turn to (in yours and theirs long long lives) for love, support and friendship. 
    That's your interpretation. I said you (generic) don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to agree with you. Once again, I do not need or want to be "recognized" during the ceremony. It is not about me, so I don't want to be expected to make eye contact with the couple on command. I find that expectation to be intrusive. It also suggests a degree of insecurity on the couple's part if they don't feel sufficiently "recognized" and supported by the guests' being there, not to mention interactions with them at the reception, that they need to spend time at their ceremony staring at everyone there.
    I understood it as a way to take a mental picture of your guests since the day can be a blur for a lot of couples.  I feel it doesn't imply the couple is insecure; just a way for them to really capture the moment. Several people in my life suggested I do the same thing throughout the reception as well, however, I was already planning on doing it since the episode on The Office when Jim and Pam got married.
    What if, when the couple's gaze happens to fall on a particular guest, that particular guest isn't looking them in the eye? Is someone going to whisper to that guest, "Hey, you need to make eye contact with the couple because they're looking at you" ? I think trying to script eye contact with guests individually during the ceremony just isn't going to work well in practice.
    Nope. It isn't contingent on the guest. When I saw this done at a ceremony, it was fairly quick, with the B&G passing their gaze over each guest. The guests don't know who the B&G are looking at necessarily. Sure, if you made contact a smile was given, but it wasn't like the officiant said, "Bride will start with the guests on her right, first row, first guest on the end and then proceed down the row to the aisle, and then follow her gaze to the second row, starting with the seat against the wall...." It's a lot less "formal" than I think what you're thinking.

    Not that I'm trying to change you mind (you obviously would never do this at your own ceremony)- you can continue to not like the idea. Just responding to your posts/questions. 
    You're right that I wouldn't do it, but I was trying to understand the logistics of how it's supposed to work because up to this post, it sounded 1) scripted and 2) it would take a long time. 
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    kayteekay85kayteekay85 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I read about a variation on an oathing stone ceremony. In addition to the couple each holding a stone while they say their vows, each guest holds a stone during the vows and silently wishes the couple well in their marriage. The stones are collected and placed in a vase for the couple to enjoy as a memento. 
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