Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

To early to ask/suggestions for a 13 year boy to do

jgaudet5388jgaudet5388 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
My wedding isn't until April 29, 2017. I was going to ask my bridal party in March or April. But my younger cousin lives out of state and I only see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes in the summer. I was going to ask her this week while she is in town to be a bridesmaid. Is it to early to ask her? Also what's a good thing for a 13 year boy to do at the wedding? We won't need any ushers and we don't have anyone his age to walk with as a groomsman. I think he is immature to be a reader. Any suggestions?
Report Reply to Post

Re: To early to ask/suggestions for a 13 year boy to do

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    13 year olds do not need to walk with anyone in order to be groomsmen, and unless by "immature" you mean that he doesn't read well, the same maturity is required for being a groomsman as for a reader. It sounds like you don't want him in the wedding at all, but that's up to the groom if he's under consideration for groomsman-not you, just as it's not up to him who stands up on your side.

    If you see your cousin next summer, that would be a good time to ask her to be your bridesmaid. This week is way too early to ask someone to be in an April 2017 wedding.
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you want him in the wedding, ask him to be a groomsman, but please don't just be asking him to include him. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    jgaudet5388 said:

    My wedding isn't until April 29, 2017. I was going to ask my bridal party in March or April. But my younger cousin lives out of state and I only see her for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes in the summer. I was going to ask her this week while she is in town to be a bridesmaid. Is it to early to ask her? Also what's a good thing for a 13 year boy to do at the wedding? We won't need any ushers and we don't have anyone his age to walk with as a groomsman. I think he is immature to be a reader. Any suggestions?

    I agree with the others. If you're asking him just to help him feel included, I wouldn't do it.

    If your FI wants him to be a groomsman, then he can ask him. He doesn't need someone his age to walk with. Fwiw, I'm 36 and would be happy to be escorted by a 13 year old.




    Report Reply
  • jgaudet5388jgaudet5388 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm asking partly because he is my cousin and I know if he isn't included my mom and dad would say something. He probably won't care he has already been in his other 2 cousins wedding as a ring bearer. As far as me not choosing groomsmen my fiance wants his aunt as a bm so after some debate I gave in. He doesn't really care if my cousin is in it he even asked what my cousin will do in the wedding. The way our bm and gm work out we have 2 married couples standing so they will walk together. The other remaining people are the same age so that's why we are going to pair them up. And my MOH will walk by herself.
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    jgaudet5388 said:

    I'm asking partly because he is my cousin and I know if he isn't included my mom and dad would say something. He probably won't care he has already been in his other 2 cousins wedding as a ring bearer. As far as me not choosing groomsmen my fiance wants his aunt as a bm so after some debate I gave in. He doesn't really care if my cousin is in it he even asked what my cousin will do in the wedding. The way our bm and gm work out we have 2 married couples standing so they will walk together. The other remaining people are the same age so that's why we are going to pair them up. And my MOH will walk by herself.

    If you want your cousin in the wedding (NOT because your parents will "say something" if he isn't) then he needs to stand up on your side.

    Who stands up with you is not up to your parents. This is one of the very few areas of planning a wedding where paying for all or any part of the wedding does not give your parents or anyone else a say. Nor is anyone entitled to a place in the wedding party simply because s/he shares DNA or is the SO of someone who shares DNA with one of the couple.

    Pick those persons you feel closest to and really want, and ask them because you want them, not because your parents, your FIL, or even your FI wants them to be in the wedding. Let your FI do the same for his side. And stop worrying about who walks with who. Even sides are not required. Pairing off your wedding party members for the recessional is also not required.
    Report Reply
  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    His aunt can be on his side and your cousin can be on your side. Problem solved. And should you not get to see your other cousin over next summer, you could pick up the phone to call and ask her.
    image
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    His aunt should stand on his side if he wants her in it, and you should tell your parents that they can get divorced and remarried and have the cousin in their wedding if they think it's so important. Nobody should be determining anyone's WP for them.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards