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Will people start eating if the Bride and Groom are not present? Sorry probably stupid post!

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Re: Will people start eating if the Bride and Groom are not present? Sorry probably stupid post!

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    ScottishSarah said:

    RlovesR said:

    You're getting married in Fingask castle?  FI and I went to a performance there when we were in the UK a couple of years ago.  It's such a beautiful place!  Your wedding will be gorgeous!

    Thank you so much! It's a really special place and you won't believe how little it costs to hire. They are so flexible as well but they are also slightly mad so I just fell in love with the place. You can have any caterer you want and they will stock the bar with anything you like. We have booked the whole estate for 4 days so my family and bridesmaids can have a mini break with us in their cottages.
    That's amazing and I want to come.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    While it didn't ruin her wedding, there was a poster who wished she had not followed our advice on over-inviting and/or B-listing.    I guess she had a lot of declines and wished she had over-invited or b-listed.

    Hindsight is 20/20.     Some people have 100% acceptance rates. Others do not.   I know I don't want to take the chances of over-inviting and be stuck with turning people away, not being able to afford them to attend, etc.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • kittykyatkittykyat member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    thisismynickname said:
    I have to say, I'm probably the dumbass that would sit there and ask other people, "Can we eat yet?" if something was on the table. In my circles, appetizers are passed or out on buffet tables, not sitting family style before a plated meal (except for just bread maybe). Also raised in the "don't eat until everyone at your table sits down" mindset, I'd sit there until everyone was done in the receiving line. 

    Heck, maybe as part of your receiving line you should say, "Enjoy the apps!" Otherwise, I vote menu card and/or sign at the table. 

    It's definitely not a silly question! I just happen to agree with your friend, OP. 
    My vote is for a sign/card too. Even if I saw other people eating I would honestly probably just think they were kind of rude and/or didn't know any better (just how I was raised). 

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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am also slightly jealous you are getting married in a castle, OP. Looks beautiful !
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    ScottishSarah said:

    Can I also say...

    1.  You have ALL ruined my wedding.
    2.  I can't believe how bitchy it is here.
    3.  I'm going back to Wedding Wire and RMW as they LOVE all of my terrible ideas and IT'S MY SPECIAL DAY.
    4.  I've decided to spend £10K on my tech cake and have a cash bar and f*** you all.
    5.  I feel really sorry for your husbands.
    6.  BINGO!!!

    Peace out, lovely ladies of TK  (P.s I hope my sarcasm  font worked?)  

    Sarah xxxx

    You totally belong here! ;)




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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ScottishSarah said:
    Can I also say...

    1.  You have ALL ruined my wedding.
    2.  I can't believe how bitchy it is here.
    3.  I'm going back to Wedding Wire and RMW as they LOVE all of my terrible ideas and IT'S MY SPECIAL DAY.
    4.  I've decided to spend £10K on my tech cake and have a cash bar and f*** you all.
    5.  I feel really sorry for your husbands.
    6.  BINGO!!!

    Peace out, lovely ladies of TK  (P.s I hope my sarcasm  font worked?)  

    Sarah xxxx
    BINGO!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    lyndausvi said:
    While it didn't ruin her wedding, there was a poster who wished she had not followed our advice on over-inviting and/or B-listing.    I guess she had a lot of declines and wished she had over-invited or b-listed.

    Hindsight is 20/20.     Some people have 100% acceptance rates. Others do not.   I know I don't want to take the chances of over-inviting and be stuck with turning people away, not being able to afford them to attend, etc.
    That one might be the one I was thinking about.
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/receptions/cash-bar/345378.html Case in point
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @ScottishSarah

    Who are these people that EVERYONE they know, at EVERY wedding they've been to gets trashed at a wedding? Expect the bartenders to do their job and expect adults to act like adults. 

    We had an open bar. People drank a lot, yes, but no one was trashed. No one vomited anywhere. No one made a shit show of anything. People got themselves home responsibly. 
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    SP29 said:
    @ScottishSarah

    Who are these people that EVERYONE they know, at EVERY wedding they've been to gets trashed at a wedding? Expect the bartenders to do their job and expect adults to act like adults. 

    We had an open bar. People drank a lot, yes, but no one was trashed. No one vomited anywhere. No one made a shit show of anything. People got themselves home responsibly. 
    It really offends me that people would say that guests will get 'trashed' just because it's free. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    SP29 said:
    @ScottishSarah

    Who are these people that EVERYONE they know, at EVERY wedding they've been to gets trashed at a wedding? Expect the bartenders to do their job and expect adults to act like adults. 

    We had an open bar. People drank a lot, yes, but no one was trashed. No one vomited anywhere. No one made a shit show of anything. People got themselves home responsibly. 
    Well the UK might have different liability laws. It's my understanding they are not as sue happy has here in the states.

    That said, you all know I bar tend at weddings sometimes.   Yes, there is generally a few who get drunk.  However they make up less than 5% of the guest list.     I don't get punishing the responsible 95% for the actions of a few.

    Up until last June I had never attended  cash bar.   DH was pretty offended and we left after the dinner.  Well I should we stayed until after we went up to the buffet and there were only scraps leftover.    There was another couple there who had never been to a cash bar either.  They were just a surprised as we were.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We had an open bar. I was pretty hammered by the end of the night. DH was pretty drunk. FIL doesn't remember parts of the after-party. We know BIL drank most of our gin. Many of our friends picked DDs before our wedding and most of them certainly were drunk by the time the night ended. We called that a really successful reception.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Not to live up to stereotype but our main goal for our wedding is a serious party and for us that means booze, booze and more booze! I can't wait, and I just KNOW my guests will cane it. Lets be real though, my guests would cane it even if they had to pay so its a moot point.

    @kimmiinthemitten I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes I lurk on weddingwire and after being on here and understanding the kind of standards TK forums preach, I cringe at some of the 'its your day, girl!' I see there. Buuuut, there's usually some kind of bust up over some chick that wants to self cater a wedding for 400ppl so it does pass an afternoon!
                 
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Yes my and FI went to a cash bar wedding recently and I got so smashed I PUT OUT A CIGARETTE in my expensive hand made leather handbag.  In the morning I found a burn hole in the internal leather lining!  I actually got more drunk than the open bar/beer and wine weddings I attended hosted by my family.    

    FI spent at least £120 at the bar for us and I never got a thank you card/verbal for the generous cash gift we gave.  (They had a honeyfund!!!)   Please don't quote this in case I find out this bride is on here and I need to delete it!  Although I suspect not LOL!

    So glad to get positive feedback on my menu.  What shall I serve for dessert?  It will be buffet style as I don't want to have too many plated courses.  It will be served with wedding cake, cheese selection and cut fruit for my healthy eating girlfriends.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    ScottishSarah said:
    So glad to get positive feedback on my menu.  What shall I serve for dessert?  It will be buffet style as I don't want to have too many plated courses.  It will be served with wedding cake, cheese selection and cut fruit for my healthy eating girlfriends.
    I like pie. Or cheesecake (but you do already have cake). Tarts? I would snack on cookies quite easily for the rest of the evening. Heck, who am I kidding, I'd snack on anything for the rest of the evening..... 
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  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Cookie Pusher said:
    We had an open bar. I was pretty hammered by the end of the night. DH was pretty drunk. FIL doesn't remember parts of the after-party. We know BIL drank most of our gin. Many of our friends picked DDs before our wedding and most of them certainly were drunk by the time the night ended. We called that a really successful reception.
    Despite having a drink in my hand all night at our wedding - and getting refills every 20 minutes or so - I was shockingly not that drunk by the end of our wedding. Probably because my dear, sweet stepmom offered to be our water-bearer after I mentioned that I needed to remember to drink water. She was awesome - she would quietly walk up to both of us with water in hand, give it to us, and slip away. Not pushy at all, and it probably saved us both from getting smashed.

    The after party was a different story... Since we supplied our own booze, and since we were really worried about running out, we had SO MUCH left over - something like six handles of vodka, four of bourbon, and five of rye. Plus a shit ton of wine. After the reception, H and I and about 30 guests went back to the hotel everyone was staying at. We were out on the lawn playing cornhole until at least 3am. The security guards came by a couple of times, but they did not seem to notice/care that numerous people were walking around with open handles of booze, nor that we were making a racket in the parking lot. My normally-quiet and reserved BIL was TANKED, and it was hilarious. Two of H's friends got into a fight - we missed it, but it was something like woman #1 was pointing her finger and yelling at woman #2, and so woman #2 backhanded woman #1. But everyone else was on their best, albeit drunken, behavior and it was a blast.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    madamerwin said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    We had an open bar. I was pretty hammered by the end of the night. DH was pretty drunk. FIL doesn't remember parts of the after-party. We know BIL drank most of our gin. Many of our friends picked DDs before our wedding and most of them certainly were drunk by the time the night ended. We called that a really successful reception.
    Despite having a drink in my hand all night at our wedding - and getting refills every 20 minutes or so - I was shockingly not that drunk by the end of our wedding. Probably because my dear, sweet stepmom offered to be our water-bearer after I mentioned that I needed to remember to drink water. She was awesome - she would quietly walk up to both of us with water in hand, give it to us, and slip away. Not pushy at all, and it probably saved us both from getting smashed.

    The after party was a different story... Since we supplied our own booze, and since we were really worried about running out, we had SO MUCH left over - something like six handles of vodka, four of bourbon, and five of rye. Plus a shit ton of wine. After the reception, H and I and about 30 guests went back to the hotel everyone was staying at. We were out on the lawn playing cornhole until at least 3am. The security guards came by a couple of times, but they did not seem to notice/care that numerous people were walking around with open handles of booze, nor that we were making a racket in the parking lot. My normally-quiet and reserved BIL was TANKED, and it was hilarious. Two of H's friends got into a fight - we missed it, but it was something like woman #1 was pointing her finger and yelling at woman #2, and so woman #2 backhanded woman #1. But everyone else was on their best, albeit drunken, behavior and it was a blast.
    It sounds fab!  This is why my rehearsal BBQ will be wine and beer and early afternoon.  My family are all party animals so FI and I don't want too much of a wild one the night before the wedding.
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