Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Large Ceremony, Small Reception

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Re: Large Ceremony, Small Reception

  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited January 2016
    I get the feeling that you believe being on the island will be the major treat for your guests. It may be, but if it's something I would enjoy I would have done it already without a wedding invite.

    I agree with PP's. In addition to offending other guests, logistically this is crazy. What if the last ferry is full? What if a guest thinks they're part of the dinner and comes? Will you turn them away, accommodate them? What if 20 guests come to dinner? How will your non dinner guests get back if they miss the ferry? What if one of the dinner guests brings a plus one you weren't planning on? What if weather slows down the ferry and guests are late to the island? So many what ifs!

    ETF autocorrect
    image
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    I get the feeling that you believe being on the island will be the major treat for your guests. It may be, but if it's something I would enjoy I would have done it already without a wedding invite. I agree with PP's. In addition to offending other guests, logistically this is crazy. What if the last ferry is full? What if a guest thinks they're part of the dinner and comes? Will you turn them away, accommodate them? What if 20 guests come to dinner? How will your non dinner guests get back if they miss the ferry? What if one of the dinner guests brings a plus one you weren't planning on? What if weather slows down the ferry and guests are late to the island? So many what ifs! ETF autocorrect
    The only "if" that should be considered is, "What if you actually host all your guests properly?"
    I know this, you know this, hell half of Wedding Wire knew this.  But she clearly cares about her vision and the family merge more than proper etiquette and treating her B group well so I thought maybe threatening the sanctity of the vision would help sway her.
    image
  • edited January 2016
    I know this, you know this, hell half of Wedding Wire knew this.  But she clearly cares about her vision and the family merge more than proper etiquette and treating her B group well so I thought maybe threatening the sanctity of the vision would help sway her.


    -------
    Lol, was this a thread on ww too?

    Everyone you asked on not one but three (three!!!) sites told you this was a bad idea, for the love of god accept that this is bad idea!

    Eta: quotes and boxes, gah I give up!


                 
    marsupalami
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    What happens if Aunt Sally and her family decide to rent out accommodations on this island and DON'T leave with the last ferry.  What if her family sees this big dinner going on after the wedding.  Won't that feel like a punch to the ovaries for her?

    Also, if you think your families want to come to the beach all day and then head over to your wedding all sandy and salty, you are probably going to be wrong.  If I were attending a wedding like yours, I would want to shower and change prior to the wedding.  I also think that if you want your wedding attendees to "make a day of it" you should be supplying them with meals throughout the day.

    MairePoppyYogaSandySP29zitiqueen
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    @glasgowtolondon I'm 90% sure but most of my time spent over there is the middle of the night when my insomnia kicks in.  I think it was since hidden.
    image
    glasgowtolondon
  • Why can't your families mingle and get to know each other at the actual reception?  My parents and in-laws are all wonderful people, but are very different and forced socialization (merging of the families dinner suggests you want everyone to be best friends or something) is slightly uncomfortable and unnecessary.  You're marrying your fiance and becoming a family - your families are not merging. 
    holyguacamole79[Deleted User]
  • The families don't need to mingle and get to know each other.  Hell, half of my daughter's inlaws only speak Chinese!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is just as tiered as the wedding I went to where there was a cake and punch reception that immediately followed the ceremony, but then shuttle buses that took the rest of us to a fancy hotel for dinner after that.  It felt wrong, even though I didn't know exactly why at the time.  And I was one of the people treated to the "better" reception.  Tiering your guests is wrong, and I would be furious if I spent money and time to get to a freaking island, and then was sent home knowing there was a tier set up.  


    image
  • So, technically it would be OK to have a SEPARATE event later, with a select number of guests, as long as you host everyone who attended your ceremony with some sort of reception.

    BUT- your plans sound very weird to me. Guest don't "make a day" of the beach at a wedding. They are there for your ceremony and reception. It sounds like you're trying to turn your wedding into an open house, which is very odd to me... weddings usually have pretty clear start/end times. When do guests arrive? When do they leave?

    I also agree that it is going to be difficult to create a clear line between who stays and who goes. What if someone says something to a guest not invited? How do you know everyone will leave by the last ferry? 

    I'm with all the other PPs who say only invite those you can afford to host. 
    adwks
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