We are getting married in September and we are on a limited budget. We were able to find a great all inclusive deal on a Sunday for a price that was in our budget. This includes 6p people, as I wanted it to be small with just close family. When my future mother in law heard of our announcement, she proceeded to invite family that I've never met, and that my fiance hasn't seen in years.
When the topic arose again today, she asked how many people it would be and I told her 60; 30 on my side and 30 on his side including the bridal party. When she started naming off family members, I told her that we agreed to only have close family, and that we weren't inviting those that we don't see at least once a year. Her response was "if you don't invite all of our side of the family, I will be dirt." She mentioned this because when her daughter (my sister in law) got married two years ago, she invited distant family to the reception, in which they didn't show up and now they have separated themselves from the family.
My mother in law said that she hoped the wedding would be 100 people, and that they should be invited. I said if she wanted to pay for them to come, she is more than welcome. But she isn't willing to. The conversation switched to inviting them to the reception instead, but that WE would have to pay for the additional table setup fee at the reception. When she asked what time the ceremony started and ended, I told her that it would start at 3:30 and end at 10pm. Being that it's on a Sunday, our city ordinance says that all events must conclude by 10pm. Her reaction was "then we have to find another place for people to go to the after party. I've been to hundred of weddings and none of them have ended as early as yours. The party is just getting started around that time and now their night will be ruined."
I also got the same reaction when I said there would only be dinner, and not late night snacks (again, not in our budget and we didn't feel it was necessary). I mentioned my tense conversation to my fiance and he said he would talk to her.
I feel like she is trying to make the wedding about her, and she's trying to change things. We are paying for everything on our own, and if it's not in our budget, it's not in our budget. Has anyone had similar experiences while wedding planning?