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mollybarker11 · January 2016

Knottie1433791078 said:
I am sorry but I am going to have to leave this thread. I came here looking for friendly advice from brides and have had some very negative and rude comments. Instead of feeling better about my situation, I feel much worse. I don't know why this has turned into a judging match over whether or not I am doing things "traditionally". I believe as long and my fiance and myself are happy that is all that matters. Please ease up on future posters and have an open mind about other's plans for their wedding. Just because it isn't by the book doesn't make them wrong. I hope each of you have a blessed day.

I don't see anyone even mention "traditional" in all the responses you received. Eloping and having private weddings are not anything new, and most Knot users have nothing against "off the book" weddings as long as no one's being rude.

You were given answers to all of your questions and a lot of thoughtful advice on the many ways you can resolve your issues. You feel worse now because you realize handling some things differently would have avoided these issues, but none of us can change the past. All you can do is proceed a bit wiser. I hope you come back to see that we're trying to help.

However, if you truly believe all that matters is your & your FI's happiness, then you can literally do whatever the fuck you want! Lucky!

*Barbie* · January 2016

OliveOilsMom said:

*Barbie* said:

OliveOilsMom said:
First, pay back your parents the money for the vacation. Or figure out how you can change the dates of the vacation without your parents knowing when it will be. Then pay the change fee to get the plane tickets changed. You and your FI should go there alone, without anyone else knowing when and where (if you decide to change locations). Then call them to tell them you have married.

That's pretty shady considering her parents paid for the tickets.

Not if they pay her parents for the trip first. After they pay her parents for the trip, the trip is no longer her parents to plan and OP can change the plans as she wishes. I did some editing before hitting post and realize now I should have removed that "Or" and changed it to "Then".

ok, yes - that makes a huge difference. if they pay the parents for their tickets and then reschedule, nothing shady there.

*Barbie* · January 2016

[Deleted User] said:

I am sorry but I am going to have to leave this thread. I came here looking for friendly advice from brides and have had some very negative and rude comments. Instead of feeling better about my situation, I feel much worse. I don't know why this has turned into a judging match over whether or not I am doing things "traditionally". I believe as long and my fiance and myself are happy that is all that matters. Please ease up on future posters and have an open mind about other's plans for their wedding. Just because it isn't by the book doesn't make them wrong. I hope each of you have a blessed day.

is this the new "fuck all y'all"?

Heffalump · January 2016

mollybarker11 · January 2016

I genuinely am shocked! She seemed to be fine until @lovegood90's extremely gently response that, yeah she should've declined the engagement party if she was planning a private wedding.

Like... Did I miss a line where you said "And you're a heinous person for being steamrolled into a big e-party and now your only choice is a 300-person wedding"?

lovegood90 · January 2016

mollybarker11 said:

I genuinely am shocked! She seemed to be fine until @lovegood90's extremely gently response that, yeah she should've declined the engagement party if she was planning a private wedding. Like... Did I miss a line where you said "And you're a heinous person for being steamrolled into a big e-party and now your only choice is a 300-person wedding"?

Yeah she even asked me why...which is why I elaborated? It's like she was expecting me to say "oh nevermind your situation is so unique and special that basic etiquette doesn't apply." Nope.

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