Hello, all! I posted this also in Maids and Moms, but I'm hoping to cast a wide net!
This is a question about many people's comfort, so bear with the length, please.
So, we knew when we started planning that my MoH was and would be pregnant. When we settled on the date for the wedding, her due date was a month after our wedding date - a little risky, but likely to be ok. At her ultrasound, she found out "the baby" is twin babies! Very exciting! It does also move up her due date, so it's likely she'll miss at least one of the events she's helping plan/ coordinate: the shower, the bachelorette, or the wedding itself. This is fine with me, as she is already super involved - that is, I'll still feel like my best friend was a big part of my wedding, regardless of what she needs to miss. However, (and I think this is going to sound self-involved and crazy, but hear me out) she has expressed several times that being a "good" MoH and part of the wedding is a Big Deal to her. She has literally had a Pinterest board for my wedding since before she started dating her now-husband of almost four years. I can be very type A, so I was a very organized MoH for their wedding, and I think she has been worried that she won't "live up" to my standards - but I don't need another me, I need her, as I have expressed. I'll get to more of the day-of comfort questions below, but when she misses things - what can I do to make sure she feels (a) feels involved and (b) like she is being a GREAT MoH (which she is!)?
My ideas so far are:
(1)If she misses the bachelorette, arrange to EITHER have a girls' night ASAP after the babies come that "mimics" the bachelorette, but with the focus on her, instead, if the twins have already been born OR, if she ends up on bed rest, etc., ask her in-laws or hubby to keep their toddler and come over with photos from the night, a movie we both like, and some faux-trash food (like black bean cheeseburgers and avocado fries? She is very health-conscious but likes to indulge as much as anyone.) and just hang out for an evening.
(2)If she misses the wedding, ask our caterer to make up a plate of our food and ask one of the attendants who lives nearby to drop it by either on their way home or the next morning. Get her bouquet delivered as an arrangement, instead.
Next: we have another attendant who will also be pregnant (5-6 mos.). We also have a day-of vendor who will be a little further along. The vendor seems to have her plan pretty clear, and she's bringing help. But what all can I do to ensure that everyone has the rest and help that they need? AND to keep my MoH comfortable if she is there, either still pregnant or remarkably quickly after a double birth?
I am going to make sure to have chairs set aside in the front row; I could also dress up some chairs that can be set in the line of attendants? Right now, both attendants are saying that if they are there, then they are fine to stand - but I want to make sure they have another plan, too, without babying them. (Our ceremony will be very short and sweet - no readings, no extra ceremonies. Just the I Dos, the ring, and one prayer/song. Should be about 15 minutes.) I was already going to keep photos short, but I will also make sure to have seating arrangements for photos, as well.) I'm also asking another attendant to basically look after each of these ladies (one per pregnant lady) - keep a bottle of water on hand, keep snacks around, etc.
Other general things: the attendants are choosing from two dresses, both of which the MoH tried on in her current pregnant state and assessed for comfort. The bar will have a variety of mocktail options, too.
I would appreciate any suggestions. I've never had to carry another human being around in my body, so I would love ideas and tips from those who have.