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Has she thought of having a conversation with this dude?

zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
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in Wedding Woes

I have long been stabby about the planned proposal crap, but I want to slap everyone in this situation:

Dear Miss Manners — In the past year, two male friends whom I have known for many years proposed marriage to me. I turned them both down due to the fact that both asked me in a text message.

Miss Manners, when did asking for a woman's hand in marriage become so impersonal? I frankly felt offended that neither was willing to ask me in person on one knee.

One of the previously mentioned men I would love to marry. He is a great guy who has been there for me through thick and thin for seven years going on eight, and we work very well together. I'm 27 years old and still think that if a man is going to ask for a woman's hand in marriage, he should at least talk to her father about it and get permission to ask. Am I being too old-fashioned in this thought?

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I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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Re: Has she thought of having a conversation with this dude?

  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    this sounds like someone who wants to mary the dude w/o dating him.

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    There is a lot wrong with this, but I can't really formulate anything more than an eyebrow raise.

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    That says TWO male friends have proposed marriage over text to her.   Who has friends that just randomly propose marriage? 
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
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    In Response to Re:Has she thought of having a conversation with this dude?:[QUOTE]That says TWO male friends have proposed marriage over text to her.nbsp;nbsp; Who has friends that just randomly propose marriage?nbsp; Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    The kind that propose because they know it's the only way she'll put out?
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    My high school BFF had something like 5 or 6 proposals before she accepted one.  And it was definately not the only way she would put out.  I think she was just naturally flirty with everyone which meant that she was flirty with a lot of boys who weren't used to be flirted with.  She seemed to put people at ease and they would fall in love with her when she was just being nice (and perhaps leading them on a bit for her own selfish pleasure). 
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
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    did they propose actual marriage or just facebook marriage?  now that i know fb marriage is a thing, i need clarification.
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  • tawillerstawillers member
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    TWO proposals in ONE year?

    Also are they friends or "friends"?

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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
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    This letter comes to you from the year 1935.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I told you guys about the friend of my sisters who was NOT dating her (she shot him down and told him he wasn't ever leving the friend zone) who asked my dad for his blessing then asked her again, right?

    I'm sure I did.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
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    I do not recall this.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
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    There's not a lot more to add to that synopsis.

    Basically Bigsis had a large group of friends from her first yeasr away at fundie-college.
    It was a co-ed group and my parents had a very 'open door' policy to visitors, so all of these friends came in to our house and hung out w/ our family.  "Jon" was, in many ways, the 'perfect guy' for a 'nice' girl and he hit it off w/ the adults well--he was going into the same field as dad, so dad somewhat mentored him and gave him a helping hand here and there.

    Jon also hung out w/ me a few times and made a concerted effort to be friendly w/ all of the family.  He told BigSis he was in love w/ her, she told him 'no way', and, over the years, made it very clear that nothing was going tochange that   She's bad at being blunt but, eventually, she was blunt about this one.

    So, one day my folks mention "Oh, Jon was here last week, dropped by when he was passing through town...did he talk to you?"  Bigsis says "no" and parents act super awkward and change the discussion.

    Jon meets up w/ BigSis, drives her to the beach, explains about his new job offer on the other side of the country and gets down on one knee and says he'd turn it all down, do whatever, bla blah, if she'd marry him.

    She turned him down.  He included in the blah blah that he had our parent's blessing...

    When she called dad (pissed) later, dad said that is NOT what he said, what he told jon was that he was a nice guy, if BigSis wanted to be with him, eh'd be fine w/ that, but it was BigSis's life and her choice.

    Jon no longer tries to be friends w/ us.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    This is an awesome story.  Did he have a ring?
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I'm guessing that he and your dad are not both in the business of clue catching?
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • GBCKGBCK member
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    Ya know, I'mnot sure if he had a ring...I'll ask sis, I'll see her over the weekend.

    My dad is generally not an idiot, but when it comes to anything that could fall under the guise of 'girly' he gets...weird.  really weird.

    But, yeah, Jon has NEVER had a clue.  I was looking to see if I have any pics of him for FB, but I can't find any.  If I do, I'll put 'em there so Kuus can determine doucheface :-P
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