Wedding nightmare - terrible hosting

RlovesR · January 2016

I was at a wedding last weekend, where the ceremony and the reception were all taking place in one room. So for cocktail hour (actually 90 minutes) we all went to the bar room to drink while the main room was flipped. No food was provided, and there were no chairs. So we were all standing around drinking on empty stomachs for an hour and a half.

FINALLY, we get called in for dinner. As we're heading back to the room, people start screaming. The MoB was unconscious, on the floor near the bar. She had to be taken away in an ambulance to the hospital where the doctors diagnosed it as a combination of exhaustion, hunger, and stress.

It doesn't matter that the bride had a gorgeous dress or that there were three flavors of cake or that centerpieces were especially nice. Every time anyone mentions this wedding, everyone will remember the MoB collapsing. That's what the couple will also remember when they look back on their wedding day.

And it could have been avoided by renting a bunch of $2 chairs and springing for a couple of cheese platters.

missfrodo · January 2016

Wow! The B&G got off "lucky" in that only 1 person needed medical attention, and it was family (less likely to sue them later). There were many people at my wedding that didn't drink alcohol and wouldn't be able to stand for more than a minute; without food, water, and a chair, we would have needed a fleet of ambulances to deal with them all. Thank God the MOB was ok in the end! I'd love to see their wedding album later: "And this is Mom going into the ambulance," "Here's Mom with an IV drip..." I'm sorry you all had to go through wedding hell!

Jen4948 · January 2016

RlovesR said:
I was at a wedding last weekend, where the ceremony and the reception were all taking place in one room. So for cocktail hour (actually 90 minutes) we all went to the bar room to drink while the main room was flipped. No food was provided, and there were no chairs. So we were all standing around drinking on empty stomachs for an hour and a half.

FINALLY, we get called in for dinner. As we're heading back to the room, people start screaming. The MoB was unconscious, on the floor near the bar. She had to be taken away in an ambulance to the hospital where the doctors diagnosed it as a combination of exhaustion, hunger, and stress.

It doesn't matter that the bride had a gorgeous dress or that there were three flavors of cake or that centerpieces were especially nice. Every time anyone mentions this wedding, everyone will remember the MoB collapsing. That's what the couple will also remember when they look back on their wedding day.

And it could have been avoided by renting a bunch of $2 chairs and springing for a couple of cheese platters.

While I agree with you that there should have been chairs and food, based on your account I doubt that that would have been enough to prevent the MOB's collapse.

I bet a lot more was going on that caused the exhaustion and stress then just not having chairs or a couple of cheese platters during the cocktail hour.

GlamQueenBride · January 2016

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

CMGragain · January 2016

I'm betting the MOB was diabetic. That would do it.

lyndausvi · January 2016

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

GlamQueenBride · January 2016

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

lyndausvi · January 2016

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with you. The couple were wrong for not having food at a 90 minute cocktail hour. Let alone one they are serving alcohol.

Hosting includes beverages (water at minimum) and food (snacks of some sort at minimum) for your guests. Plus chairs in a comfortable climate.

As a guest I also expect at minimum for water and something to munch on at a cocktail hour.

So by default their poor hosting helped contribute to the MOB's situation.

Had they properly hosted the MOB might not have passed out. Something to snack on could have helped her blood sugar levels. A chair would have allowed her to sit when she started feeling faint. (When you have a sugar low you get the shakes, get hot and feel faintish.)

ETA - between getting ready, driving to the venue, most people get there 10-15 minutes early, the 20-30 minute ceremony, 90 minute cocktail hour. Well you could be talking about some 4 hours. Who knows when their last meal would have been? Especially for a MOB who generally had shit going on, including pictures which can take a few more hours.

banana468 · January 2016

I'm not diabetic but I've come close to passing out a few times. Often it was when I was on my period but I've also had it when I was dehydrated and carb loaded instead of had more protein.

I'll agree that MOB may have been on a crash course but a simple cheese and meat platter could have helped prevent this.

ShesSoCold · January 2016

I've passed out a number of times, most often for no apparent reason. My blood pressure shoots way down, my arms feel cold, I see stars and BAM. Down I go. Actually last week it happened while I was in the hospital and they told me I was probably very sensitive to dehydration because I was fine after getting an IV. A cheese cube wouldn't have helped me. A chair, maybe, but I agree with PPs that this may likely have happened regardless of the hosting.

softkittywarmkitty · January 2016

Regardless if it would have happened anyway the lack of some food, water and a place to sit could have made it easier. Did you know you can pass out from locking your knees when you stand? In less the 90 mins? I've seen it happen and it Damn near happened to me. A chair would have prevented that.

Also when I was MOH at my sister's wedding between getting ready, helping her get ready, pictures, set up the ceremony and more pictures, by the time the meal came (9am ceremony) I was starving!
Eta words

banana468 · January 2016

softkittywarmkitty said:

Regardless if it would have happened anyway the lack of some food, water and a place to sit could have made it easier. Did you know you can pass out from locking your knees when you stand? In less the 90 mins? I've seen it happen and it Damn near happened to me. A chair would have prevented that. Also when I was MOH at my sister's wedding between getting ready, helping her get ready, pictures, set up the ceremony and more pictures, by the time the meal came (9am ceremony) I was starving! Eta words

Yes!

When I was in HS, our choir sang in Carnegie Hall. Do you know how hot it gets on that stage? The mean were in tuxedos and by men, I mean teenage boys.

The sound of a teenage boy entering the PTFO zone and passing out on stage sounds a lot like a timpani drum.

CMGragain · January 2016

My son used to pass out all the time. I think he grew too fast.
Hey, @banana468 , how about an update picture on those adorable children?

[Deleted User] · January 2016

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

ILoveBeachMusic · January 2016

It might not be the couple's fault that she passed out, but cocktail hour without food certainly didn't help.

ScottishSarah · January 2016

Tbh a 90 minute cocktail hour with no food is still a bit shit. Diabetic or not. Sorry

ScottishSarah · January 2016

CMGragain said:
My son used to pass out all the time. I think he grew too fast.
Hey, @banana468 , how about an update picture on those adorable children?

Ohh we love pics of adorable children!

banana468 · January 2016

Knottie6967654 said:

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

And MOB who was acting as MOB was probably not near food for a lot of that.

Add to that a wedding is far more stressful than the average day.

This sounds like a post of someone planning on no chairs or no food.

Jen4948 · January 2016

banana468 said:

Knottie6967654 said:

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

And MOB who was acting as MOB was probably not near food for a lot of that.

Add to that a wedding is far more stressful than the average day.

This sounds like a post of someone planning on no chairs or no food.

Probably some of both. The couple should have planned for chairs and sufficient food, but the MOB should have taken some time out to eat, regardless of whatever else was going on.

GlamQueenBride · January 2016

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with you. The couple were wrong for not having food at a 90 minute cocktail hour. Let alone one they are serving alcohol.

Hosting includes beverages (water at minimum) and food (snacks of some sort at minimum) for your guests. Plus chairs in a comfortable climate.

As a guest I also expect at minimum for water and something to munch on at a cocktail hour.

So by default their poor hosting helped contribute to the MOB's situation.

Had they properly hosted the MOB might not have passed out. Something to snack on could have helped her blood sugar levels. A chair would have allowed her to sit when she started feeling faint. (When you have a sugar low you get the shakes, get hot and feel faintish.)

ETA - between getting ready, driving to the venue, most people get there 10-15 minutes early, the 20-30 minute ceremony, 90 minute cocktail hour. Well you could be talking about some 4 hours. Who knows when their last meal would have been? Especially for a MOB who generally had shit going on, including pictures which can take a few more hours.

I agree that people should have been hosted properly, but I maintain that even proper hosting wouldn't have necessarily prevented this from happening and really didn't contribute to it as the MOB could have eaten something before the cocktail hour if she was concerned. It's up to each of individually to take care of our own needs, even at a wedding. When my sister got married, we went a long time without eating simply because it was a busy day, but had I passed out, it wouldn't have been my sister's fault. It would have been my own for not providing myself something to eat.

banana468 · January 2016

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with you. The couple were wrong for not having food at a 90 minute cocktail hour. Let alone one they are serving alcohol.

Hosting includes beverages (water at minimum) and food (snacks of some sort at minimum) for your guests. Plus chairs in a comfortable climate.

As a guest I also expect at minimum for water and something to munch on at a cocktail hour.

So by default their poor hosting helped contribute to the MOB's situation.

Had they properly hosted the MOB might not have passed out. Something to snack on could have helped her blood sugar levels. A chair would have allowed her to sit when she started feeling faint. (When you have a sugar low you get the shakes, get hot and feel faintish.)

ETA - between getting ready, driving to the venue, most people get there 10-15 minutes early, the 20-30 minute ceremony, 90 minute cocktail hour. Well you could be talking about some 4 hours. Who knows when their last meal would have been? Especially for a MOB who generally had shit going on, including pictures which can take a few more hours.

I agree that people should have been hosted properly, but I maintain that even proper hosting wouldn't have necessarily prevented this from happening and really didn't contribute to it as the MOB could have eaten something before the cocktail hour if she was concerned. It's up to each of individually to take care of our own needs, even at a wedding. When my sister got married, we went a long time without eating simply because it was a busy day, but had I passed out, it wouldn't have been my sister's fault. It would have been my own for not providing myself something to eat.

We're now starting to split hairs.

If all of this was due to dehydration / low blood sugar then yes, MOB should have attended to her needs. But on a day that your kid is getting married, the average MOB is attending to the B.

So yeah, you can ultimately say "You should have taken care of yourself" but in reality that may not have been possible and they should have planned to have some food at the damn cocktail hour.

I could hear a doctor tell me now, "You're not feeling well so take care of yourself," but it's not that easy when you have other responsibilities.

Maggie0829 · January 2016

banana468 said:

We're now starting to split hairs.

If all of this was due to dehydration / low blood sugar then yes, MOB should have attended to her needs. But on a day that your kid is getting married, the average MOB is attending to the B.

So yeah, you can ultimately say "You should have taken care of yourself" but in reality that may not have been possible and they should have planned to have some food at the damn cocktail hour.

I could hear a doctor tell me now, "You're not feeling well so take care of yourself," but it's not that easy when you have other responsibilities.

Lets also remember that when it is an exciting day (or stressful day) you sometimes forget that you are even hungry or thirsty or what have you because you are too busy being excited about what is to come. I remember after the ceremony and pictures were done and we were waiting to be introduced my BIL asked if I needed anything. I told him a diet coke. He brought me back a glass and I chugged the shit out of it. I had no idea that I was that thirsty until that moment, and that is because I most likely didn't drink anything since early that morning (probably a span of 8 hours). And that is because I was excited to get married, getting my hair and makeup done, worrying about leaving at X time to get to the venue by 2:30, talking to anyone and everyone that came in our bridal suite, gushing over my amazing flowers, getting dressed, dabbing my underarms with tissues because I was so sweaty from nerves, taking pictures, and finally going to the ceremony that grabbing something to drink wasn't even something that occurred to me.

So yes, one should take care of themselves, but sometimes what is going on around you makes you forget about even the basic stuff of drinking some water and eating a cracker.

banana468 · January 2016

Maggie0829 said:

banana468 said:

We're now starting to split hairs.

If all of this was due to dehydration / low blood sugar then yes, MOB should have attended to her needs. But on a day that your kid is getting married, the average MOB is attending to the B.

So yeah, you can ultimately say "You should have taken care of yourself" but in reality that may not have been possible and they should have planned to have some food at the damn cocktail hour.

I could hear a doctor tell me now, "You're not feeling well so take care of yourself," but it's not that easy when you have other responsibilities.

Lets also remember that when it is an exciting day (or stressful day) you sometimes forget that you are even hungry or thirsty or what have you because you are too busy being excited about what is to come. I remember after the ceremony and pictures were done and we were waiting to be introduced my BIL asked if I needed anything. I told him a diet coke. He brought me back a glass and I chugged the shit out of it. I had no idea that I was that thirsty until that moment, and that is because I most likely didn't drink anything since early that morning (probably a span of 8 hours). And that is because I was excited to get married, getting my hair and makeup done, worrying about leaving at X time to get to the venue by 2:30, talking to anyone and everyone that came in our bridal suite, gushing over my amazing flowers, getting dressed, dabbing my underarms with tissues because I was so sweaty from nerves, taking pictures, and finally going to the ceremony that grabbing something to drink wasn't even something that occurred to me.

So yes, one should take care of themselves, but sometimes what is going on around you makes you forget about even the basic stuff of drinking some water and eating a cracker.

Exactly. You said it far better than I did.

lightningsnow · January 2016

Knottie6967654 said:

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

I completely disagree with this. I have a fast metabolism which causes me to eat practically every two hours. If I go longer than that, I start to feel weak and dizzy. I tend not to carry food with me if I'm going to a wedding because I expect there to be food through the entirety of the reception from cocktail hour to the end.

So it was partly the couple's fault for having a cocktail hour (or rather hour and a half) with no food provided. Especially if alcohol is being served.

GlamQueenBride · February 2016

banana468 said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with you. The couple were wrong for not having food at a 90 minute cocktail hour. Let alone one they are serving alcohol.

Hosting includes beverages (water at minimum) and food (snacks of some sort at minimum) for your guests. Plus chairs in a comfortable climate.

As a guest I also expect at minimum for water and something to munch on at a cocktail hour.

So by default their poor hosting helped contribute to the MOB's situation.

Had they properly hosted the MOB might not have passed out. Something to snack on could have helped her blood sugar levels. A chair would have allowed her to sit when she started feeling faint. (When you have a sugar low you get the shakes, get hot and feel faintish.)

ETA - between getting ready, driving to the venue, most people get there 10-15 minutes early, the 20-30 minute ceremony, 90 minute cocktail hour. Well you could be talking about some 4 hours. Who knows when their last meal would have been? Especially for a MOB who generally had shit going on, including pictures which can take a few more hours.

I agree that people should have been hosted properly, but I maintain that even proper hosting wouldn't have necessarily prevented this from happening and really didn't contribute to it as the MOB could have eaten something before the cocktail hour if she was concerned. It's up to each of individually to take care of our own needs, even at a wedding. When my sister got married, we went a long time without eating simply because it was a busy day, but had I passed out, it wouldn't have been my sister's fault. It would have been my own for not providing myself something to eat.

We're now starting to split hairs.

If all of this was due to dehydration / low blood sugar then yes, MOB should have attended to her needs. But on a day that your kid is getting married, the average MOB is attending to the B.

So yeah, you can ultimately say "You should have taken care of yourself" but in reality that may not have been possible and they should have planned to have some food at the damn cocktail hour.

I could hear a doctor tell me now, "You're not feeling well so take care of yourself," but it's not that easy when you have other responsibilities.

We're not splitting hairs. And no, it's not easy, but you do it. And if you don't, then that's your own fault. Really, I know it's easy to blame the bride and groom for all the ills in the world and yes, they should have hosted their cocktail hour more properly, but they are not to blame for a MOB who forgot/decided not to eat.

GlamQueenBride · February 2016

lightningsnow said:

Knottie6967654 said:

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

I completely disagree with this. I have a fast metabolism which causes me to eat practically every two hours. If I go longer than that, I start to feel weak and dizzy. I tend not to carry food with me if I'm going to a wedding because I expect there to be food through the entirety of the reception from cocktail hour to the end.

So it was partly the couple's fault for having a cocktail hour (or rather hour and a half) with no food provided. Especially if alcohol is being served.

No, absolutely not. You don't get to blame other people for not taking care of YOUR own needs when you have a condition that requires you to eat every two hours. People are not required to feed you every two hours because you get dizzy otherwise. If you know this about yourself, then carry a protein bar. If you don't, then it's your own negligence that caused you to pass out, not other people's poor hosting.

banana468 · February 2016

GlamQueenBride said:

banana468 said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Yeah, this is terrible hosting, but the rest of this sounds like an exaggeration to me. I doubt that having food there would have kept the MOB from collapsing. It was 90 minutes, not 12 hours without food. Why didn't she eat prior? We're all adults and we all know (presumably) how to take care of ourselves so that we don't collapse from "hunger."

It's not that simple.

More than likely it was more of low blood sugar not hunger. I've passed out from low blood sugar before. Actually a few times in my life.

Last year I went skiing. I DID have lunch (chicken soup in a bread bowl and a Sprite). A few hours later I almost passed (I sat down before I actually passed out.) I'm guessing between the bread bowl, sprite and all the stress of getting down the hill (I'm not a good skier) my insulin levels peak, then I crashed. Now when I go skiing I take a protein bar with me so if I feel my blood sugar start crashing I have something.

Being the MOB she might have had a lot of stuff going on. Getting ready, getting her daughter ready, pictures, travel time, entertaining, emotions and/or from the wedding. Sometimes it sneaks up on people.

Eta - I am not diabetic.

But how is that anyone else's fault? If it was low blood sugar, then it was low blood sugar. That still isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. To suggest, as the OP did, that a 90-minute cocktail hour without food was the reason she collapsed is short-sighted.

Sorry, I'm going to disagree with you. The couple were wrong for not having food at a 90 minute cocktail hour. Let alone one they are serving alcohol.

Hosting includes beverages (water at minimum) and food (snacks of some sort at minimum) for your guests. Plus chairs in a comfortable climate.

As a guest I also expect at minimum for water and something to munch on at a cocktail hour.

So by default their poor hosting helped contribute to the MOB's situation.

Had they properly hosted the MOB might not have passed out. Something to snack on could have helped her blood sugar levels. A chair would have allowed her to sit when she started feeling faint. (When you have a sugar low you get the shakes, get hot and feel faintish.)

ETA - between getting ready, driving to the venue, most people get there 10-15 minutes early, the 20-30 minute ceremony, 90 minute cocktail hour. Well you could be talking about some 4 hours. Who knows when their last meal would have been? Especially for a MOB who generally had shit going on, including pictures which can take a few more hours.

I agree that people should have been hosted properly, but I maintain that even proper hosting wouldn't have necessarily prevented this from happening and really didn't contribute to it as the MOB could have eaten something before the cocktail hour if she was concerned. It's up to each of individually to take care of our own needs, even at a wedding. When my sister got married, we went a long time without eating simply because it was a busy day, but had I passed out, it wouldn't have been my sister's fault. It would have been my own for not providing myself something to eat.

We're now starting to split hairs.

If all of this was due to dehydration / low blood sugar then yes, MOB should have attended to her needs. But on a day that your kid is getting married, the average MOB is attending to the B.

So yeah, you can ultimately say "You should have taken care of yourself" but in reality that may not have been possible and they should have planned to have some food at the damn cocktail hour.

I could hear a doctor tell me now, "You're not feeling well so take care of yourself," but it's not that easy when you have other responsibilities.

We're not splitting hairs. And no, it's not easy, but you do it. And if you don't, then that's your own fault. Really, I know it's easy to blame the bride and groom for all the ills in the world and yes, they should have hosted their cocktail hour more properly, but they are not to blame for a MOB who forgot/decided not to eat.

No. They're to blame for not having food readily available that would be really easy to give to the MOB to eat.

I may even agree that you can't directly blame them as if to say, "You caused this crash" but they were piss poor planners and food while serving alcohol should have been a "duh" moment for them.

lyndausvi · February 2016

Call me an entitled bitch if you want, but I EXPECT, at minimum, water , something to snack on and a fucking chair at a cocktail reception. Let alone one that is 90 minutes long.

So yes, if I'm a WP member or a MOB and I'm running around getting ready, taking pictures, at the ceremony, I do ASSUME there will be something to snack when I finally get to the the cocktail reception. Why? Because my family and friends are not ASSHOLES and know how to host.

The couple's lack of hosting might not have caused the MOB's issues, but their lack of hosting certainly didn't help either.

Take the MOB out of the picture and the couple was still wrong, plain and simple.

For lurkers. Every wedding I've been in had a tray of food and drinks specifically for the WP and the parents waiting in an area. And/or the WP and parents gets to attend the cocktail hour.

Why? Because parents and WP members are running around for HOURS before the wedding for THE COUPLE. They are often NOT in a position to "take care of themselves" because they are being pulled from one place to another. Sometimes not even in areas to even run into a store to get a snack.

The last wedding DH was in they had a sandwich tray in the bus that drove the WP and SO's to the reception. That sucker was licked clean because everyone was so damn hungry.

GlamQueenBride · February 2016

Most seem to agree that the bride and groom's poor hosting didn't CAUSE this problem, which is the point I've been making. Yes, they're poor hosts, and yes, they should have had something for their guests, but to suggest that it's their fault the MOB collapsed because of a 90-minute cocktail hour where food wasn't served is hogwash.

And as someone who has been in the bridal party at multiple weddings, I have ALWAYS taken care of myself. Yes, it's busy and yes, you're running around, but I always carry protein bars with me for that reason. If I feel sick, I eat. We're all adults and we all know how to take care of ourselves in that regard.

Also, might I add that as the MOB, she likely knew there would be no food at the cocktail hour unless she was totally uninvolved in the wedding prep.

lovemesomemonster · February 2016

Having just finished our wedding I have to say that this was a little bit of poor planning on the bride/groom's part. We made sure to have lunch trays for all family/wedding party that would be involved in pictures and pre wedding things because I knew they would be asking me what I needed and running around and I wanted them to be fed. We also had an hour for cocktails where we had lots of apps so that everyone wasn't running only on alcohol. At 9:30 we had pizza brought in and people ate the shit out of it to soak up the alcohol. The main thing we heard after our wedding was that everyone loved how much food was there, when you are planning keep everyone in mind, especially the people who will be helping/running around with you before the wedding, they may go all day and forget to eat because they are worrying about you.

lightningsnow · February 2016

GlamQueenBride said:

lightningsnow said:

Knottie6967654 said:

Nope, this was totally not the couple's fault. A diabetic or anyone with glucose/dizziness issues carries their own food at all times. Anyone without health issues can easily go 4 hours without water or food - I know the bottled water ads claim you will die if you aren't surgically attached to bottled/flavored/vitamin-infused liquid and guzzle it constantly, but seriously. It's fine.

I completely disagree with this. I have a fast metabolism which causes me to eat practically every two hours. If I go longer than that, I start to feel weak and dizzy. I tend not to carry food with me if I'm going to a wedding because I expect there to be food through the entirety of the reception from cocktail hour to the end.

So it was partly the couple's fault for having a cocktail hour (or rather hour and a half) with no food provided. Especially if alcohol is being served.

No, absolutely not. You don't get to blame other people for not taking care of YOUR own needs when you have a condition that requires you to eat every two hours. People are not required to feed you every two hours because you get dizzy otherwise. If you know this about yourself, then carry a protein bar. If you don't, then it's your own negligence that caused you to pass out, not other people's poor hosting.

Again, I'm not going to carry a fucking granola bar with me if I am attending a wedding because I expect there to be food during the cocktail hour. If you are serving alcohol at all, food should be served to prevent this kind of thing from happening. Any other time I make sure I have something to munch on, but not when I am attending a wedding because I expect there to be food to snack on.

Wedding nightmare - terrible hosting

Re: Wedding nightmare - terrible hosting

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