Shower-ette

Rejufsovelem · February 2016

Forgive me if this has already been a topic, I've been out of this for a while. I'm the MOH for my sisters wedding in July. I want to do a Bridal shower/bachelorette in the same day. Not sure yet who would stay for the bachelorette, but assuming at least half of the ladies that come to the shower. I'm looking for ideas on what type of thing to do for each, the shower would be afternoon/evening and then the bachelorette would be after. TIA!

missfrodo · February 2016

Will there be a gap between the shower and bachelorette? If not, I think you risk some hurt feelings for those women only invited to the shower (if you basically have to kick them out to start the next part of the party). However, if you have a gap then I think you're fine (I know the thing for weddings is no gaps, but I think here they need to be divided into 2 separate events if you have 2 guest lists).
For the shower, just have good food. The bride will open presents, which can take a while. I don't think you need games or other activities, unless you have lawn games or a favorite card game--but I wouldn't do any bridal-themed games. For the bachelorette, what does the bride like to do? Is she a partier, or more laid back? Will there be anyone under 21 in the bach party group of people? If you have minors she wants to invite, that basically rules out clubs and bars. My friend's bach party started at an Olive Garden and went to a dance club from there. Our friend group has a special veil the bride wears at the bach party; it's just a cheap white veil, but it's got penis sequins sewn into it, so it's absolutely hilarious. At least 2 or 3 of us have worn it so far before our weddings, so it's like a tradition now. At my bach (not an official party, but we all got together the night before my wedding), we played Cards Against Humanity and drank adult beverages.

thisismynickname2 · February 2016

Rejufsovelem said:

Forgive me if this has already been a topic, I've been out of this for a while. I'm the MOH for my sisters wedding in July. I want to do a Bridal shower/bachelorette in the same day. Not sure yet who would stay for the bachelorette, but assuming at least half of the ladies that come to the shower. I'm looking for ideas on what type of thing to do for each, the shower would be afternoon/evening and then the bachelorette would be after. TIA!

Is there a reason you want or need to do them the same day? I only ask because it can be a logistical headache ordinarily; but, I have a friend who had moved away, so her formal shower was held in the afternoon and then folks regrouped to go bar hopping for her bachelorette that night. If a lot of her friends are OOT, this could be helpful for their scheduling too.

I would try to do two distinct events like PP suggested as the guest list for the bach is likely much smaller (but you tell us). If the shower is in the afternoon, have heavy apps and cake and regular beverages, maybe an alcoholic punch. The bachelorette could include a later dinner. Or, the shower could conclude with dinner and the bachelorette activities would all be later.

What does she like? We could give you more suggestions given her taste.

spockforprez · February 2016

I just attended my cousin's shower/b-party combo and I'm having one of my own in April. I disagree with a PP; I think it's widely known that b-parties are usually for the wedding party only and/or very close friends who are invited to the wedding, so I doubt any feelings would get hurt by the random aunts/cousins who may attend a shower.

Now, I don't think a big fuss should be made of it, like, "Okay ladies, if you're invited to the b-party we're heading to the car to leave now!" And having a small gap (maybe for shower cleanup? or just to regroup at someone else's house for 30-60 mins?) would help the transition for sure. But overall, I wouldn't worry about hurting feelings.

As for the idea itself, I think it's so much fun! I had a wonderful time at my cousin's. We went to tour the church and reception venue in the morning, had the shower from 11:30-2:30, then hung out at her house for an hour, then went to a museum, and dinner, and then back to her house and watched Bridesmaids and painted our nails and slept over. It was awesome and my cousin definitely felt like a queen for a day!

With schedules the way they are these days, I think it's much easier to find one day/night combo than it is to find an afternoon/evening and then another evening/night, all within the 3-4 months before the wedding.

climbingsingle · February 2016

Ask the bride what she wants to do for her bach party. Does she want something low key? Or does she want to go out for drinks/dancing/etc? Also, is the bride OK with having both events on the same day? Personally, I definitely would not want to do both the shower and bach party on the same day. That's just too much. But if you have people traveling from out of the town, I get it.

charlotte989875 · February 2016

I lived OOT from my family and wedding party and they threw the parties on the same day and I loved it. We had the shower from 3-6 (I think?) then went back to my sisters apartment (where H and I were staying) and my wedding party, H's cousin, and another good friend came over, we had drinks and snacks, then walked to bars up the street.

Logistically it it was great. Everyone was either in town for the shower and I wanted something small and low key for a b-party. I will say the events were definitely separate. There were formal invitations for the shower and then my BMs just reached out personally a weeks in advance to the two other women who came for the b-party. It was perfect for me and my situation but I can see how it wouldn't be right for everyone.

southernbelle0915 · February 2016

Most of my BMs were from OOT, so we did this. My shower was from 2-5 or something and then my BMs and whoever else wanted to went out to dinner and bar hopping. It wasn't really a bach in the traditional sense because it was co-ed, but whatever it was, we had a ton of fun.

Rejufsovelem · February 2016

missfrodo said:

Will there be a gap between the shower and bachelorette? If not, I think you risk some hurt feelings for those women only invited to the shower (if you basically have to kick them out to start the next part of the party). However, if you have a gap then I think you're fine (I know the thing for weddings is no gaps, but I think here they need to be divided into 2 separate events if you have 2 guest lists).
For the shower, just have good food. The bride will open presents, which can take a while. I don't think you need games or other activities, unless you have lawn games or a favorite card game--but I wouldn't do any bridal-themed games. For the bachelorette, what does the bride like to do? Is she a partier, or more laid back? Will there be anyone under 21 in the bach party group of people? If you have minors she wants to invite, that basically rules out clubs and bars. My friend's bach party started at an Olive Garden and went to a dance club from there. Our friend group has a special veil the bride wears at the bach party; it's just a cheap white veil, but it's got penis sequins sewn into it, so it's absolutely hilarious. At least 2 or 3 of us have worn it so far before our weddings, so it's like a tradition now. At my bach (not an official party, but we all got together the night before my wedding), we played Cards Against Humanity and drank adult beverages.

So....I'm not sure if she even will kick people out for the bach as I think she is going to welcome anyone. We wouldn't kick people out, but people have the option not to go.

Also I think everyone is over 21.

Rejufsovelem · February 2016

thisismynickname said:

Rejufsovelem said:

Forgive me if this has already been a topic, I've been out of this for a while. I'm the MOH for my sisters wedding in July. I want to do a Bridal shower/bachelorette in the same day. Not sure yet who would stay for the bachelorette, but assuming at least half of the ladies that come to the shower. I'm looking for ideas on what type of thing to do for each, the shower would be afternoon/evening and then the bachelorette would be after. TIA!

Is there a reason you want or need to do them the same day? I only ask because it can be a logistical headache ordinarily; but, I have a friend who had moved away, so her formal shower was held in the afternoon and then folks regrouped to go bar hopping for her bachelorette that night. If a lot of her friends are OOT, this could be helpful for their scheduling too.

I would try to do two distinct events like PP suggested as the guest list for the bach is likely much smaller (but you tell us). If the shower is in the afternoon, have heavy apps and cake and regular beverages, maybe an alcoholic punch. The bachelorette could include a later dinner. Or, the shower could conclude with dinner and the bachelorette activities would all be later.

What does she like? We could give you more suggestions given her taste.

The reason to do it the same day is a scheduling/oot guest thing. She doesn't do much, shes a new mom. But she used to go to parties all the time, so I think she'd be down to do a club/bar for the bach. She is definitely not a girly/girl so like a Afternoon tea would be out.

Rejufsovelem · February 2016

spockforprez said:

I just attended my cousin's shower/b-party combo and I'm having one of my own in April. I disagree with a PP; I think it's widely known that b-parties are usually for the wedding party only and/or very close friends who are invited to the wedding, so I doubt any feelings would get hurt by the random aunts/cousins who may attend a shower.

Now, I don't think a big fuss should be made of it, like, "Okay ladies, if you're invited to the b-party we're heading to the car to leave now!" And having a small gap (maybe for shower cleanup? or just to regroup at someone else's house for 30-60 mins?) would help the transition for sure. But overall, I wouldn't worry about hurting feelings.

As for the idea itself, I think it's so much fun! I had a wonderful time at my cousin's. We went to tour the church and reception venue in the morning, had the shower from 11:30-2:30, then hung out at her house for an hour, then went to a museum, and dinner, and then back to her house and watched Bridesmaids and painted our nails and slept over. It was awesome and my cousin definitely felt like a queen for a day!

With schedules the way they are these days, I think it's much easier to find one day/night combo than it is to find an afternoon/evening and then another evening/night, all within the 3-4 months before the wedding.

That sounds like a fun day, thanks for the suggestions.

Rejufsovelem · February 2016

southernbelle0915 said:

Most of my BMs were from OOT, so we did this. My shower was from 2-5 or something and then my BMs and whoever else wanted to went out to dinner and bar hopping. It wasn't really a bach in the traditional sense because it was co-ed, but whatever it was, we had a ton of fun.

Oh I like the idea of a co-ed bach, but he's more of a homebody.

[Deleted User] · February 2016

Rejufsovelem said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Most of my BMs were from OOT, so we did this. My shower was from 2-5 or something and then my BMs and whoever else wanted to went out to dinner and bar hopping. It wasn't really a bach in the traditional sense because it was co-ed, but whatever it was, we had a ton of fun.

Oh I like the idea of a co-ed bach, but he's more of a homebody.

My sister and I were once both groomswomen for my cousin's wedding. My sister was the partier in the group and was asked to plan the joint bachelor/bachelorette party. She decided she wanted something sexy, but not sleazy, so we went as a large group to watch belly dancing. We ate great food, family-style, and got to watch (and occasionally participate in) the dancing.

mollybarker11 · February 2016

We did a combo for a friend of mine. Went to a restaurant where she opened gifts after dinner, then went to a club a short walk away where we'd rented a private room.

Everyone was invited to everything, but only the younger crew opted to continue on to the club. I believe her mom or one of her aunts took the gifts from the restaurant while the rest of us partied on.

It was a very laid-back event, no specific activities planned.

AddieCake · February 2016

I would be exhausted doing/attending both on the same day.

MairePoppy · February 2016

mollybarker11 said:

We did a combo for a friend of mine. Went to a restaurant where she opened gifts after dinner, then went to a club a short walk away where we'd rented a private room.

Everyone was invited to everything, but only the younger crew opted to continue on to the club. I believe her mom or one of her aunts took the gifts from the restaurant while the rest of us partied on.

It was a very laid-back event, no specific activities planned.

This would work well. Invite everyone to everything. I (mob age) would opt to go to the shower and not the bp.

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