Hello everyone! Although I had been around TK before when I was planning my own wedding and learned A LOT about the do's and don'ts, I have found myself as MOH in a friend's wedding and am currently facing a dilemma.
I offered to host both a bridal shower and bachelorette party since the bride had also been a BM in my wedding. I recently asked for her guest list but what I didn't think to tell is how many people I could reasonably afford to host. I knew she's having a bigger wedding, so I assumed she would be having somewhere around 50 people (including all 7 bridesmaids), but I was planning to host the shower at my house with the help of the bridesmaids, and this would be doable.
There are over seventy people on her list.
Over seventy people is not doable. I nicely told her that I (and the bridesmaids) wouldn't be able to accommodate that number and asked if she could possibly edit the list down to make it a more intimate (and financially feasible) event. Because both the bride and her fiance come from large families, she said it would be impossible to edit the list down farther without hurting someone's feelings. She said she would have her mother and fiancee help me out with planning.
When I spoke with the fiance, I asked if either or both of his sisters would be able to host a second shower to take some pressure off of me and the bridesmaids. He said it would just be easier if he were to help me than put that pressure on his family (I also tried explaining how it wouldn't be the greatest idea for him to help since the gifts are just as much for him as they are for her but he maintains that no one has to know he is involved).
I feel stuck. I know I should have said something before she even gave me the list, but I think like she feels completely entitled to this party, and I don't know how to get through it without going broke.
ETA: I really love her and if money were no object, I would have no problem with this. I love hosting parties - but with all the other costs associated with the wedding as well as just my personal life, I am feeling majorly stressed out about this. I've been having trouble sleeping and focusing at work.