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My twin brother is not a groomsman?

Knottie1441570718Knottie1441570718 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Okay so....back when we first got engaged in September 2015 we decided not to put family in the wedding party because I have so many  female cousins/a step sister etc. and he has siblings who are older blah blah... But now that it's too late, I'm really regretting not at least making my twin brother a groomsman since he doesn't seem to have a role in the wedding. When I brought this up to my fiancé he said he wasn't close to my brother and that it would have been weird. But he's my twin? I don't know what to think but I feel guilty. 
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Re: My twin brother is not a groomsman?

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    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1441570718 said:
    Okay so....back when we first got engaged in September 2015 we decided not to put family in the wedding party because I have so many  female cousins/a step sister etc. and he has siblings who are older blah blah... But now that it's too late, I'm really regretting not at least making my twin brother a groomsman since he doesn't seem to have a role in the wedding. When I brought this up to my fiancé he said he wasn't close to my brother and that it would have been weird. But he's my twin? I don't know what to think but I feel guilty. 
    You're right, it is too late. However, I think if you did want your brother in the wedding party, you should have him on your side. I don't want my FI's sister in my bridal party any more than he wants my twin sister in as a groomsperson. 

    Can you ask him to be a reader, or even officiant if it's not a religious wedding? FI & I have a good friend who's going to be our officiant, and we're treating him as part of the wedding party. 
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    Knottie1441570718Knottie1441570718 member
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    Ohh.. That's even better because giving me away might be a little weird. 
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    spockforprezspockforprez member
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    Yep! Just give you a hug, or whatever, and you take FH's hand and he pops into his seat. No awkwardness needed. I hope that works out for you guys! 
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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
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    edited February 2016
    I was a groomswoman at my brother's wedding, everyone thought it was a great. Also, I think it would be lovely if your brother walked you down the aisle. In 90% of the weddings I've been to, the father/mom/uncle/brother simply gives the bride a hug and a kiss on the cheek and sits down.

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Knottie1441570718 said:
    Okay so....back when we first got engaged in September 2015 we decided not to put family in the wedding party because I have so many  female cousins/a step sister etc. and he has siblings who are older blah blah... But now that it's too late, I'm really regretting not at least making my twin brother a groomsman since he doesn't seem to have a role in the wedding. When I brought this up to my fiancé he said he wasn't close to my brother and that it would have been weird. But he's my twin? I don't know what to think but I feel guilty. 
    I would have your brother stand on your side or be a reader.  It's okay for you to have mixed or uneven sides, and it's not up to you to decide on who should stand on your FI's side, just as it's not up to your FI to decide who should stand on your side.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Knottie1441570718 said:
    Wow! I'm understanding things a lot better already. I didn't really think about having him on my side. I'm going to consider that but also was thinking of having a dance with him instead of my dad? I'm not close to my dad and I'm not sure if he'll even be there. Heck I would ask my brother to walk me down the aisle if that's the case. 
    I think asking your brother to walk you down the aisle is probably the best idea.  That way he's not an afterthought bridesman (though I like the way the previous poster worded it if you decide to go that direction) and he still gets a pretty important part in the ceremony. 
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    thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    My brother wasn't in the wedding party, but he and my mom walked me down the aisle. That was such a special moment for he and I. I bet your brother would feel honored!

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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Like @thefanciestbeckler , my brother was not in the wedding party.  There was discussion about him walking my mom down the aisle, but he said he just wanted to be a guest.  It all worked out fine.




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