I apologize ahead of time for how long this post is, but I'm stuck between 2 options & I'm just looking for opinions... I bolded the main points...
My mother had me when she was young, & I didn't meet my father until I was 7. He has been married to my stepmom since I've known him, & I love her to pieces. I visited them off & on for a few years until the visits stopped, I'm not sure why. When I did have my visits, it was because my stepmom would reach out & invite me over. My stepmom & dad had 2 girls together, & she had a son from a previous marriage. I have always been relatively close with my stepmom & all 3 of my siblings, but I have never really had a relationship with my father, & he has never been the one to reach out & invite me to anything himself.
Thanks to my fiancé pushing me to try & change things with my Dad, I started visiting them again, at least twice a month for the last few years, still only because my stepmom invites us or we reach out & ask what they are up to. When we go over & visit, my dad & I hardly speak to each other-not out of anger or anything, we just don't really know each other or know where to start. I still haven't called him "Dad" & don't have much of a relationship with him, but he & my fiancé have frown close. It seems like he is putting in effort now, & I'm really trying too, it's just hard trying to build that father/daughter relationship as an adult.
My mother raised me & has been there for me through everything. I had always pictured her father walking me down the aisle as he had been the only steady male figure in my life, who I loved more than anything-but since he passed, I had decided it would be my mom.
Now that we are going over to visit with my dad's family more often, I am confused on what to do. I feel like because my dad is making some sort of effort, I should have him/would like him to walk me down the aisle, but at the same time, I would like to honor my mother for having raised me. It is strange to even think of my father walking me down the aisle because it is something I never even considered until recently-But now that he is putting effort it, I am nervous it would hurt his feelings if I had only my mother walk me down the aisle... I have considered having both of them walk me down the aisle, but I am not sure how my stepmom or my mom's boyfriend of 12 years would feel about this... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want to walk down the aisle without my mom... I'm sure this sounds like an easy decision to some, but I am really struggling with what to do here. I get one wedding day-once chance to walk down the aisle, but the wedding isn't just about me and my fiancé, it's about our families too....