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Wedding Party
Letting maids pick their own shoes...?
My maids are wearing tea-length royal blue dresses for our August wedding. After talking about it, my mom and I decided to go with silver shoes that they could all pick out themselves. One of my maids has been showing me pictures of shoes that she likes and, frankly, I haven't liked any of them. On top of that, I'm a shorty (5' 2"), she's got at least 4 inches on me already and the shoes she's been looking at would make her giant.
Would it be wrong to send them an e-mail guiding them in the right direction of what we're thinking of? I don't wanna be a bridezilla, especially since they're paying for them and I want them to get something they like, but because the shoes are going to be visible, I don't think it's wrong to want the shoes to all look similar.
Thanks!
Would it be wrong to send them an e-mail guiding them in the right direction of what we're thinking of? I don't wanna be a bridezilla, especially since they're paying for them and I want them to get something they like, but because the shoes are going to be visible, I don't think it's wrong to want the shoes to all look similar.
Thanks!
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Re: Letting maids pick their own shoes...?
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Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
[QUOTE]My maids are wearing tea-length royal blue dresses for our August wedding. After talking about it, my mom and I decided to go with silver shoes that they could all pick out themselves. One of my maids has been showing me pictures of shoes that she likes and, frankly, I haven't liked any of them. <strong>On top of that, I'm a shorty (5' 2"), she's got at least 4 inches on me already and the shoes she's been looking at would make her giant.</strong> Would it be wrong to send them an e-mail guiding them in the right direction of what we're thinking of? I don't wanna be a bridezilla, especially since they're paying for them and I want them to get something they like, but because the shoes are going to be visible, I don't think it's wrong to want the shoes to all look similar. Thanks!
Posted by HMM0519[/QUOTE]
<div>I'm 5'3'' and one of my bm is over 6ft and had really tall heels on. Look at the photos in my bio, she doesn't look like a giant.</div>
bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
[QUOTE]But if she asks my opinion and I don't like them, am I supposed to lie?
Posted by HMM0519[/QUOTE]
<div>Do you not like the shoes because you don't like the style period, or do you not like them because they don't fit into your "wedding style."</div><div>
</div><div>If it's the first, be honest and tell her they look stupid. If it's the second, you can still be honest, but just say that it's not your style but you think they would look great on her.</div>
bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
My concern is she keeps showing me shoes and asking if I like them. Am I suppoesd to lie and say yes when I really don't?
And so what if your BM is taller than you? Some people are tall, some people are short. That's just how life is. Don't dictate how tall they are allowed to be.
If it bothers you that much, maybe you should buy some stilts for under your dress. Then no one will tower over you!
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
If you don't think they'd be appropriate for the wedding (like if they're not formal enough to coordinate with the dress, or if they are super high and thin heels for an outdoor wedding or if you will be walking around a lot for photos), I would tell her why you think they might not work and then give her ideas of what WILL work.
If you can't get past the looks of some of the shoes they pick, then YOU buy what you want for them to wear.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]I agree with the others about letting them pick what they like and what's comfortable. <strong>If you can't get past the looks of some of the shoes they pick, then YOU buy what you want for them to wear.</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
Sorry MrsB, I need to disagree with you there. I don't think footwear should ever be dictated beyond colour and style as shoes are so important to comfort. Not everyone can wear the same shoes or finds the same styles comfortable.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
ETA: you know how tone gets lost in translation on the interwebz? Yeah. ;-)
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
I have bad feet, so I'm pretty passionate about the shoes issue. :P
ETA: Just saw your ETA lol. Definitely hear you on the tone issue.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
But to clarify, OP, definitely don't force them into certain shoes. I actually think you're pushing it slightly by asking for silver when many people probably already have black shoes they can wear without having to spend more money. No one will notice or care about their shoes except for the BMs themselves (and the soles of their feet and their backs.)
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Mrs.B needs to go play on the If I Were Queen of the Universe thread. I would be really interested to hear her rules. :)
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
I saw that this morning but I can't narrow down my kingdom to just 2 rules. :-)
I'll have to keep thinking and go do some more reading in that thread.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
Almost all the women I know own both black and silver shoes already though, so I don't see an issue with requesting silver.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
Shoes are very trivial, imo, nobody ever notices them, and honestly, day of your wedding, you're not going to notice them if your head's in the right place.
My BMs had actually picked out the same shoes completely on their own (All 3 of them found them on sale at a different Pay Less). For the life of me, I can't even tell you if they actually wore shoes that day. Seriously, they all could have been barefoot and I wouldn't have known.
As far as the height thing goes, that's just going too far. People who know you are aware that you're 5'2". No matter what shoes you stick your BMs in, that's not going to change. So why not just accept that you're short, she's not and that you're both allowed to wear shoes that you're both comfortable in?
Idk, maybe it's because aside from our RB, DH and I wear the shortest people in our BP, but I never understood the "As the bride, I need to look taller than people" mentality. My MOH is 5'10". Had I stuck her in flats, I still would have had to have worn 6 inch heels to even come close to that (Which: hell no!). Trust me, people are going to be thinking about how beautiful you look, not how short you look next to your BP.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
If she asks if you like them, just say that they look like they'll work perfectly. I promise you will. not. care. that you friend is wearing ugly shoes or that she's taller than you on your wedding day. And honestly, if you're 5'2", I'm guessing there'll be a lot of people there who are taller than you are (I'm 5'9" and like 3.5" heels), so there's no point stressing over that side of things.
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It's fine to specify a style and color if the shoe is a neutral. Beyond that, just go with the flow. As long as the soles aren't clear with a light up function or gold fish in them, just relax.