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Wedding Planner Unresponsive?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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Title says it all. My fiance e-mailed our wedding planner 3 and a half weeks ago because she was supposed to provide us with officiants. After 3 weeks we didn't hear anything from her and we were a bit concerned so I told him to e-mail her about it again. She e-mailed the next day saying that her partner will be on it right away.

My question is, how responsive should a wedding planner be? Surely 3 weeks is plenty of time for her to get me an officiant. In the beginning when we hired her, she was very responsive and on top of things. Now it seems like she is slacking. I understand she may have many clients and weddings, but she has to treat me the same! I hired her to be less stressed as I'm currently in school and working full time, and now it seems like I am stressing again! 

I'm wondering whether she is trying to drop me as I got a $300 discount on her second plan and she thinks it's not worth it. She was reviewed very well by many people and my fiance's father sold her her home so he recommended her.

Our wedding is just under a year away. 

Thoughts on how to get her to be more responsive without being bitchy about it?
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Re: Wedding Planner Unresponsive?

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2016
    *Barbie* said:
    PolskaBlondynka said:
    Title says it all. My fiance e-mailed our wedding planner 3 and a half weeks ago because she was supposed to provide us with officiants. After 3 weeks we didn't hear anything from her and we were a bit concerned so I told him to e-mail her about it again. She e-mailed the next day saying that her partner will be on it right away.

    My question is, how responsive should a wedding planner be? Surely 3 weeks is plenty of time for her to get me an officiant. In the beginning when we hired her, she was very responsive and on top of things. Now it seems like she is slacking. I understand she may have many clients and weddings, but she has to treat me the same! I hired her to be less stressed as I'm currently in school and working full time, and now it seems like I am stressing again! 

    I'm wondering whether she is trying to drop me as I got a $300 discount on her second plan and she thinks it's not worth it. She was reviewed very well by many people and my fiance's father sold her her home so he recommended her.

    Our wedding is just under a year away. 

    Thoughts on how to get her to be more responsive without being bitchy about it?
    You are not her priority at this point - if your wedding was next week or even next month you would have room to complain. You have nearly a year to find an officiant. 

    re: other clients/weddings - if their dates are closer, they are going to take priority. You've contacted her twice about a non-urgent issue. That's enough for now. If your wedding was next week and she was ignoring you while troubleshooting for another bride that wasn't getting married for a year, I'm sure you'd be pissed off. 

    If you keep harassing her about non urgent issues, I wouldn't blame her for wanting to drop you as a client. 
    I agree with you! Like I mentioned, I don't expect her to be glued to me 24/7, but I think an e-mail confirming she received imy e-mail and will get back to me as soon as possible is professional, no? 
     
    I am in no way harassing her. She was exchanging e-mails back and forth for a week straight trying to get everything figured out, so I am expected to be a little concerned if she doesn't reply in 3-4 weeks.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
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    PolskaBlondynka said:
    *Barbie* said:
    PolskaBlondynka said:
    Title says it all. My fiance e-mailed our wedding planner 3 and a half weeks ago because she was supposed to provide us with officiants. After 3 weeks we didn't hear anything from her and we were a bit concerned so I told him to e-mail her about it again. She e-mailed the next day saying that her partner will be on it right away.

    My question is, how responsive should a wedding planner be? Surely 3 weeks is plenty of time for her to get me an officiant. In the beginning when we hired her, she was very responsive and on top of things. Now it seems like she is slacking. I understand she may have many clients and weddings, but she has to treat me the same! I hired her to be less stressed as I'm currently in school and working full time, and now it seems like I am stressing again! 

    I'm wondering whether she is trying to drop me as I got a $300 discount on her second plan and she thinks it's not worth it. She was reviewed very well by many people and my fiance's father sold her her home so he recommended her.

    Our wedding is just under a year away. 

    Thoughts on how to get her to be more responsive without being bitchy about it?
    You are not her priority at this point - if your wedding was next week or even next month you would have room to complain. You have nearly a year to find an officiant. 

    re: other clients/weddings - if their dates are closer, they are going to take priority. You've contacted her twice about a non-urgent issue. That's enough for now. If your wedding was next week and she was ignoring you while troubleshooting for another bride that wasn't getting married for a year, I'm sure you'd be pissed off. 

    If you keep harassing her about non urgent issues, I wouldn't blame her for wanting to drop you as a client. 
    Sure, I may not be a priority at this time, and like I mentioned, I'm not her only client. She was the one who had asked if we've picked an officiant yet, after we were unsure about the one we picked that we talked to. I'm afraid my date will be booked if I wait too long, how long do you usually wait to book an officiant? I'm following the Knot checklist closely and it's February - March. 

    I am in no way harassing her. She was exchanging e-mails back and forth for a week straight trying to get everything figured out, so I am expected to be a little concerned if she doesn't reply in 3-4 weeks.  If she was a bit more professional, she would at least confirm she got my e-mail and would get back to me as soon as she could. That's all.

    Ignoring your client's e-mails is a red flag to me. Especially that far out. I'm wondering how it will be when the wedding is 2 months away.
    I got married in June, and I think we picked our officiant in March or April.  It was NBD.  If you really wanted someone in particular (say, your parish priest you grew up with or something), I would book sooner.  But it sounds like you don't have anyone specific in mind, so you have plenty of time and flexibility.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited March 2016
    Heffalump said:
    PolskaBlondynka said:
    *Barbie* said:
    PolskaBlondynka said:
    Title says it all. My fiance e-mailed our wedding planner 3 and a half weeks ago because she was supposed to provide us with officiants. After 3 weeks we didn't hear anything from her and we were a bit concerned so I told him to e-mail her about it again. She e-mailed the next day saying that her partner will be on it right away.

    My question is, how responsive should a wedding planner be? Surely 3 weeks is plenty of time for her to get me an officiant. In the beginning when we hired her, she was very responsive and on top of things. Now it seems like she is slacking. I understand she may have many clients and weddings, but she has to treat me the same! I hired her to be less stressed as I'm currently in school and working full time, and now it seems like I am stressing again! 

    I'm wondering whether she is trying to drop me as I got a $300 discount on her second plan and she thinks it's not worth it. She was reviewed very well by many people and my fiance's father sold her her home so he recommended her.

    Our wedding is just under a year away. 

    Thoughts on how to get her to be more responsive without being bitchy about it?
    You are not her priority at this point - if your wedding was next week or even next month you would have room to complain. You have nearly a year to find an officiant. 

    re: other clients/weddings - if their dates are closer, they are going to take priority. You've contacted her twice about a non-urgent issue. That's enough for now. If your wedding was next week and she was ignoring you while troubleshooting for another bride that wasn't getting married for a year, I'm sure you'd be pissed off. 

    If you keep harassing her about non urgent issues, I wouldn't blame her for wanting to drop you as a client. 
    Sure, I may not be a priority at this time, and like I mentioned, I'm not her only client. She was the one who had asked if we've picked an officiant yet, after we were unsure about the one we picked that we talked to. I'm afraid my date will be booked if I wait too long, how long do you usually wait to book an officiant? I'm following the Knot checklist closely and it's February - March. 

    I am in no way harassing her. She was exchanging e-mails back and forth for a week straight trying to get everything figured out, so I am expected to be a little concerned if she doesn't reply in 3-4 weeks.  If she was a bit more professional, she would at least confirm she got my e-mail and would get back to me as soon as she could. That's all.

    Ignoring your client's e-mails is a red flag to me. Especially that far out. I'm wondering how it will be when the wedding is 2 months away.
    I got married in June, and I think we picked our officiant in March or April.  It was NBD.  If you really wanted someone in particular (say, your parish priest you grew up with or something), I would book sooner.  But it sounds like you don't have anyone specific in mind, so you have plenty of time and flexibility.
    Thanks! I don't have anyone specific in mind so this puts me at ease. I will trust my planner and just leave it in her hands to get it done when it needs to get done.
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    6fsn6fsn member
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    If she'd been responsive before I'd chalk it up to "shit happens."  Sometimes you put all the urgent fires and forget the non-urgent one that came in the middle of the flames.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    6fsn said:
    If she'd been responsive before I'd chalk it up to "shit happens."  Sometimes you put all the urgent fires and forget the non-urgent one that came in the middle of the flames.
    Understandable. I'll wait until she makes time for us.
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    drmarinerdrmariner member
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    I think the other replies are spot on but I understand how you feel. Shortly after we signed our contract with our wedding planner she gave us a calendar of what we need to do each month. (We are in an opposite position with our planner urging us to get a move on!) Perhaps if you got something like this from your planner you would have clearer expectations on the depth and frequency of communication to expect regarding different topics at different stages of your preparations. I think it is reasonable to expect an acknowledgment of your email, even just one delaying detailed response, but assuming it doesn't become a pattern, I would second the "shit happens" interpretation above. 

    Good luck!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    drmariner said:
    I think the other replies are spot on but I understand how you feel. Shortly after we signed our contract with our wedding planner she gave us a calendar of what we need to do each month. (We are in an opposite position with our planner urging us to get a move on!) Perhaps if you got something like this from your planner you would have clearer expectations on the depth and frequency of communication to expect regarding different topics at different stages of your preparations. I think it is reasonable to expect an acknowledgment of your email, even just one delaying detailed response, but assuming it doesn't become a pattern, I would second the "shit happens" interpretation above. 

    Good luck!


    Thanks! I'm trying to get everything completed ahead of time (I hate stressing and I have anxiety issues) so it's stressing me out that she is so nonchalant about it. But she's a professional and I will trust her. If shit goes down, I will put it on her. I did get a calendar of everything from her. It's a bit different than the Knot and I honestly prefer the Knot's. 
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    starlight58pstarlight58p member
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    I discovered after you book all your vendors,  It is very rare to get a response from anyone other than  the venue and the caterers, until you are about 30 to your wedding.  VERY Frustrating but cant change that. 
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    lembasloverlembaslover member
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    PolskaBlondynka said:
    drmariner said:
    I think the other replies are spot on but I understand how you feel. Shortly after we signed our contract with our wedding planner she gave us a calendar of what we need to do each month. (We are in an opposite position with our planner urging us to get a move on!) Perhaps if you got something like this from your planner you would have clearer expectations on the depth and frequency of communication to expect regarding different topics at different stages of your preparations. I think it is reasonable to expect an acknowledgment of your email, even just one delaying detailed response, but assuming it doesn't become a pattern, I would second the "shit happens" interpretation above. 

    Good luck!


    Thanks! I'm trying to get everything completed ahead of time (I hate stressing and I have anxiety issues) so it's stressing me out that she is so nonchalant about it. But she's a professional and I will trust her. If shit goes down, I will put it on her. I did get a calendar of everything from her. It's a bit different than the Knot and I honestly prefer the Knot's. 
    Maybe show her the calendar you like and see if she's willing to do that? I'd let one slip like this go, like PPs have said your wedding is a ways out and she's probably busy (though I don't get why people can't just reply to an e-mail) or she missed this one because shit happens.

    However if it continually happens I'd consider finding someone else. Our photographer was great until we hired him. We had to get a hold of him for a payment issue and it was really difficult. They never called back when the said they would and responded to 1/5 emails... Then we couldn't even get the time of day with him a week before our wedding to go over shots we wanted. He said he'd call and didn't we called him and he was busy and said he'd call the next day same story until 2 days before the wedding... Now we're trying to get our album done and can't get responses to calls or e-mails. So once I'd say nbd but if it's a repeat issue then save yourself the trouble and find someone new.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    marriedhamstermom said:
    PolskaBlondynka said:
    drmariner said:
    I think the other replies are spot on but I understand how you feel. Shortly after we signed our contract with our wedding planner she gave us a calendar of what we need to do each month. (We are in an opposite position with our planner urging us to get a move on!) Perhaps if you got something like this from your planner you would have clearer expectations on the depth and frequency of communication to expect regarding different topics at different stages of your preparations. I think it is reasonable to expect an acknowledgment of your email, even just one delaying detailed response, but assuming it doesn't become a pattern, I would second the "shit happens" interpretation above. 

    Good luck!


    Thanks! I'm trying to get everything completed ahead of time (I hate stressing and I have anxiety issues) so it's stressing me out that she is so nonchalant about it. But she's a professional and I will trust her. If shit goes down, I will put it on her. I did get a calendar of everything from her. It's a bit different than the Knot and I honestly prefer the Knot's. 
    Maybe show her the calendar you like and see if she's willing to do that? I'd let one slip like this go, like PPs have said your wedding is a ways out and she's probably busy (though I don't get why people can't just reply to an e-mail) or she missed this one because shit happens.

    However if it continually happens I'd consider finding someone else. Our photographer was great until we hired him. We had to get a hold of him for a payment issue and it was really difficult. They never called back when the said they would and responded to 1/5 emails... Then we couldn't even get the time of day with him a week before our wedding to go over shots we wanted. He said he'd call and didn't we called him and he was busy and said he'd call the next day same story until 2 days before the wedding... Now we're trying to get our album done and can't get responses to calls or e-mails. So once I'd say nbd but if it's a repeat issue then save yourself the trouble and find someone new.
    I'm really sorry you had issues with your photographer! That is horrible and I can't stand the lack of professionalism, especially if you are running a business. It adds so much more stress on top of the stress that comes with planning.

    Our planner did actually respond, well her assistant did, which I was glad about. We are speaking without officiant tomorrow night through phone since he's over an hour away and we can't just skip work during the week. We're hopefully booking him through great reviews. 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    starlight58p said:
    I discovered after you book all your vendors,  It is very rare to get a response from anyone other than  the venue and the caterers, until you are about 30 to your wedding.  VERY Frustrating but cant change that. 
    That's actually kind of ridiculous and hopefully my planner doesn't think she can do that, haha.
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