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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Knottie1441819677 said:
    So, our wedding is in 2 months and my SIL just announced (after a wedding meeting she came to) that she is 2 weeks pregnant. 2 WEEKS! She couldn't have waited a few more weeks to share the news? I know this is an exciting, happy time, but I can't help feeling like our wedding is not important anymore. In any other circumstance, I don't think I would react like this, but we waited to get engaged until after her wedding so that we wouldn't "steal her thunder" and I guess I was just expecting the same respect. Also, she pretty much wants the focus on her always, so she has done things in the past to take away from our joy. I know I sound selfish and probably am, but I just can't shake it. It doesn't help that we are the same age and I feel behind (because we let them have their moment to shine and held off our engagement). I have also wanted to get pregnant for about a year now. I know, I know...I am not married, she didn't do anything on purpose, and I am acting a fool, but why now? Why did she have to start trying 3 months before the wedding? Why couldn't she wait a few months at least to tell everyone? I know I sound like such a jealous, selfish person, but I really can't help but feel awful every time I think about how people will be only talking about her at our wedding. How my fiances family has already moved on from the excitement of our wedding to the excitement of a baby. How we can't, for once, just have people focus on us.
    If she's done this before, why are you all shocked that she's doing it again?  You are not Thor.  You have no thunder to steal.  Get over it and have your wedding.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    There's no such thing as stealing someone's thunder. That's not real. 

    Honestly, get over it and move on. Why do you need people to be solely focused on just your wedding and nothing else? Your wedding may be the most important thing in your lives, but it's not the most important thing in everyone else's life. 
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  • whoabetherswhoabethers member
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    Why is anyone announcing at TWO WEEKS? That, in and of itself, is strange to me.

    That said, her life doesn't revolve around your wedding, and your wedding shouldn't revolve around your SIL's personal life. Just focus on you and your FI and have fun!
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    I think announcing at 2 weeks pretty much clinches that she is an attention whore - but there is NOTHING you can do about this, and thunder really can't be stolen. Move on and let her be. I promise you plenty of people will be happy for you and have a good time at your wedding.
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    She's not stealing your thunder, she's just excited about what's going on in her life right now.   Also, 2 weeks is REALLY early to announce.  Let's hope nothing tragic happens in the first trimester.
    image
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Eh, I can't fault someone for announcing that to their family members. Maybe they've been trying for a really long time, maybe it's her first kid, maybe it's the first grand kid. Did she announce it on Facebook? Then maybe I could agree she's an AW. 
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  • ChelleJayneChelleJayne member
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    GBCK said:
    I need to hear about this wedding meeting.

    What is a wedding meeting anyway?
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
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    I'm far more offended by the meeting.  I told my family before 2 weeks for each child.  If something happened I wanted them to know.  Or maybe SIL thought she was doing the right thing by telling early so the poster could make changes to any plans.
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  • lembasloverlembaslover member
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    OP you shouldn't have deleted your post, you were already quoted and it will probably draw more attention now, plus it's considered bad etiquette on this forum.

    So 2 weeks is really early but she probably just found out herself and maybe is overly excited. Sounds like this is her MO so you shouldn't really be too surprised. Also I'm sorry but babies > weddings so just be happy you're going to be an aunt!!! As a fairly new aunt myself I can't tell you how awesome it feels to have your nephew (or niece) smile up at you and tell you some mumbo jumbo baby talk.

    On your wedding day all eyes will be on you and even if they aren't you'll probably not even notice, my eyes were on my new husband! This news will just be conversation that is had at the reception when you're with other guests. 

    Finally I'm sorry but I can't believe you held off your engagement for your SIL, that makes no sense to me. You live your lives and she lives hers. As long as neither of you plan your wedding on the same day as the other then you're good. Everyone gets 1 day. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Jealous, selfish person sounds about right.  


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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
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    I always love it when the knottie#'s try to delete their post after its been quoted. It's hilarious to me. Yes, we all saw you act like a dick. It's not going anywhere!


                 
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  • kylexokylexo member
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    man, if that stuff counted as thunderstealing, my sister stole every single ounce of thunder from me, eloping and getting pregnant 4 and 5 months after my engagement. You know what though? I get a new nephew who will be at my wedding and my 3 months post partum sister is still my MOH because i love her and am happy to have her and her new family be a part of my day.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    madamerwin said:
    Eh, I can see someone telling family they are pregnant right away... When I was pregnant I told my immediate family once we went to the doc to have it confirmed. That way, if something went wrong, our families wouldn't be blindsided. That's what happened with us - we told our family right away, and then when I miscarried, they already knew about the pregnancy and we had their support. I would, however, side-eye a public announcement, because that definitely seems AW-ish (though I do think the whole waiting to announce a pregnancy until the 2nd trimester is indicative of our society's view of miscarriage as a taboo, which is sad, but that's a whole other discussion).

    Otherwise I agree with PPs - it's ridiculous that you put your engagement on hold until after SIL's wedding, and it's equally ridiculous for you to be mad over her pregnancy... No one will be less happy for your wedding because there is a baby to look forward to - that's not how it works. People can be happy about two things at once.
    Your doctor may be different than my experience, but unless you're high risk/going though infertility treatments, the doctors don't even want to see you until 6-8 weeks. My OBGYN's office had an 8 week policy - I got it confirmed and then had my first US later in the week. We told our immediate families (parents/siblings) after the 8-9W US appointment and everyone else around 12-13+ weeks.
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  • madamerwinmadamerwin member
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    *Barbie* said:
    madamerwin said:
    Eh, I can see someone telling family they are pregnant right away... When I was pregnant I told my immediate family once we went to the doc to have it confirmed. That way, if something went wrong, our families wouldn't be blindsided. That's what happened with us - we told our family right away, and then when I miscarried, they already knew about the pregnancy and we had their support. I would, however, side-eye a public announcement, because that definitely seems AW-ish (though I do think the whole waiting to announce a pregnancy until the 2nd trimester is indicative of our society's view of miscarriage as a taboo, which is sad, but that's a whole other discussion).

    Otherwise I agree with PPs - it's ridiculous that you put your engagement on hold until after SIL's wedding, and it's equally ridiculous for you to be mad over her pregnancy... No one will be less happy for your wedding because there is a baby to look forward to - that's not how it works. People can be happy about two things at once.
    Your doctor may be different than my experience, but unless you're high risk/going though infertility treatments, the doctors don't even want to see you until 6-8 weeks. My OBGYN's office had an 8 week policy - I got it confirmed and then had my first US later in the week. We told our immediate families (parents/siblings) after the 8-9W US appointment and everyone else around 12-13+ weeks.
    Yep, I'm in that category. They did the first ultrasound at 5w0d to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. So our families knew at exactly five weeks, since we told them right when we got back from the appt.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    Yeah, deal with it.  You get one day.  SIL having a baby isn't going to ruin your wedding.  Unless she gives birth in the middle of your wedding ceremony, she's not stealing your thunder.  

    My sister met her (now) H after DH and I were already engaged.  They got engaged 6 month before my wedding and scheduled their wedding for 2 months after mine.  She moved out of state to live with him the week OF my wedding.  Like, my parents got a U-Haul and dropped off her stuff on their way to my wedding.  Guess what?  It didn't ruin my wedding or steal my thunder. It was all good.  My wedding still rocked and I'm happily married.

    image 

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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    madamerwin said:

    Yep, I'm in that category. They did the first ultrasound at 5w0d to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. So our families knew at exactly five weeks, since we told them right when we got back from the appt.
    scary. 
    also, sorry for your loss.
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  • ernursejernursej member
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    OP - you can feel anyway you want, but acting on it is the line in the sand. I'm sorry that you've put yourself in your sister's shadow, but you have the opportunity to move from the shade to stand right next to her. Be gracious and happy for her. Many people wait their whole lives to get pregnant ... so lucky that she didn't have to. Take the high road and realize that you can both be happy (you - getting married ... she - having a baby). So lucky for your whole family!
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    lnixon8 said:
    My parents would ask how far along I was if I got dinner with them and wasn't drinking.
    That's why YSIL announced her 3rd so early - she was hosting Thanksgiving and knew she'd get questions about why she wasn't drinking.
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