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Invitation Wording

Knottie4483585 Knottie4483585 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My situation is very unique, and I have been scouring the internet for suggestions. My mother is deceased, but my father has not remarried. My FI's parents were never married. His mother is married, and his step-father is heavily involved in his life, but so is his father, who is single. We really would rather avoid "together with their families" because everyone in our families is really giving their all for this wedding! 

So, is it inappropriate to do Mr. & Mrs., then another line for Mr. and Mrs., and then a Mr. for his dad? It looks wordy on the invitation, but it's the best way to make sure everyone is recognized. Is this proper and okay? What does everyone think? 
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Re: Invitation Wording

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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    Knottie4483585 said:
    My situation is very unique, and I have been scouring the internet for suggestions. My mother is deceased, but my father has not remarried. My FI's parents were never married. His mother is married, and his step-father is heavily involved in his life, but so is his father, who is single. We really would rather avoid "together with their families" because everyone in our families is really giving their all for this wedding! 

    So, is it inappropriate to do Mr. & Mrs., then another line for Mr. and Mrs., and then a Mr. for his dad? It looks wordy on the invitation, but it's the best way to make sure everyone is recognized. Is this proper and okay? What does everyone think? 
    Your situation is not unique.  Lots of brides have these issues.

    Who is hosting your wedding?  I cannot give you wording advice until I know this.  Also, is it a church wedding?  Catholic?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would keep it simple and just put "together with their families". 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you really want everyone to be named as hosts, it would be this:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather
    Mr. Thomas Groomsfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    EvilSockLadyEvilSockLady member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    CMGragain said:
    If you really want everyone to be named as hosts, it would be this:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather
    Mr. Thomas Groomsfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State
    or "request the honor of your presence" if church wedding

    but seriously, "together with their families" is ideal for your situation.
    The names on the invite aren't an honor. They just indicate who is hosting. Keep it simple.
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    Knottie4483585 Knottie4483585 member
    First Comment
    It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all! :smile: 

    My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    Knottie4483585 said:
    It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all! :smile: 

    My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

    Another vote for "together with their families."  Listing all parties as CMGRAGAIN showed above is really cluttered.  Also, your invitation isn't meant to "recognize" those who paid for your wedding; it's to indicate who is hosting. 

    ETA : just curious, why do you say that a "formal" reception is to follow?  Is it actually formal or is it just an "official" reception? 




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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie4483585 said:
    It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all! :smile: 

    My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

    Hosting doesn't have anything to do with who is paying for the wedding. 
    image
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    Knottie4483585 Knottie4483585 member
    First Comment
    JediElizabeth said:
    Knottie4483585 said:
    It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all! :smile: 

    My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

    Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*
    I didn't mean to offend you. In my family, and my FI's, the men just are not into this wedding planning stuff. They don't understand why these details matter so much, and why the smallest things count. I came here for advice and support, not a jab at my attempt at humor. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Given how many names there are, I think "together with their names" is the best wording for your situation - that doesn't sound at all "unique."
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    You can do it this way for a Catholic Mass.  Honestly it is only two extra lines, and that isn't as bad as the people who want to do the totally untraditional and unnecessary "son of" lines.


    Mr. John Bridesfather
    Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather
    Mr. Thomas Groomsfather
    request the honour of your presence
    at the Nuptial Mass uniting
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    in
    The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Saint Anybody's Catholic Church
    Address
    City, State


    Now, please tell us that your reception will start soon after your ceremony.  No time gaps!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    MandyMostMandyMost member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    The reasons guests need to know who is hosting an event is that they need to know who to RSVP to, and perhaps who to address any other questions to. That is why they hosts are named on an invitation.

    So who is collecting the RSVPs to your wedding? Who know's the details of the event and is planned to respond to any pre-wedding questions in case a guest has questions about accessibility, or food allergies, or directions, etc?

    These are the person/people who should be named as the host. As others have said, it has nothing to do with where the money came from. 


    That being said, if you do want to name everyone as above I don't think there's anything egregious about it. 
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    lizardbit27lizardbit27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

    Jane Doe 
    and 
    John Smith
    request the pleasure of your presence
    .......

    Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?
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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    lizardbit27 said:
    I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

    Jane Doe 
    and 
    John Smith
    request the pleasure of your presence
    .......

    Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?
    If you as the Bride and Groom are hosting and also the guests of honor, you don't word it to show that you are inviting anyone.

    So I think (and @CMGragain, please correct me if I'm wrong!) But I think it would be

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Jane Doe 
    and 
    John Smith 
    image
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    lizardbit27 said:
    I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

    Jane Doe 
    and 
    John Smith
    request the pleasure of your presence
    .......

    Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?
    Who's paying and planning isn't relevant to invitation wording. Who's hosting is.

    I agree with @redoryx that you would use 

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Lizardbit27
    hand
    Lizardbit 27's FI

    if your families aren't hosting.  Otherwise, I'd use the "together with their families" at the top.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2016
    For a Catholic Mass wedding:

    The honour of your presence is requested
    at the Nuptial Mass uniting
    Jane Ann Doe
    and
    John George Smith
    in The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
    (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    JediElizabeth said:
    Knottie4483585 said:
    It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all! :smile: 

    My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

    Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*
    Well that gosh darn penis just gets in the way of everything, doesn't it? Housework, child care, manners, men, am I right? Just like thinking will damage a woman's ovaries.

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