Invitation Wording

Knottie4483585

My situation is very unique, and I have been scouring the internet for suggestions. My mother is deceased, but my father has not remarried. My FI's parents were never married. His mother is married, and his step-father is heavily involved in his life, but so is his father, who is single. We really would rather avoid "together with their families" because everyone in our families is really giving their all for this wedding! 

So, is it inappropriate to do Mr. & Mrs., then another line for Mr. and Mrs., and then a Mr. for his dad? It looks wordy on the invitation, but it's the best way to make sure everyone is recognized. Is this proper and okay? What does everyone think? 

CMGragain

Knottie4483585 said:

My situation is very unique, and I have been scouring the internet for suggestions. My mother is deceased, but my father has not remarried. My FI's parents were never married. His mother is married, and his step-father is heavily involved in his life, but so is his father, who is single. We really would rather avoid "together with their families" because everyone in our families is really giving their all for this wedding! 

So, is it inappropriate to do Mr. & Mrs., then another line for Mr. and Mrs., and then a Mr. for his dad? It looks wordy on the invitation, but it's the best way to make sure everyone is recognized. Is this proper and okay? What does everyone think? 

Your situation is not unique.  Lots of brides have these issues.

Who is hosting your wedding?  I cannot give you wording advice until I know this.  Also, is it a church wedding?  Catholic?

artbyallie

I fail to understand how 'together with their families' is not totally perfect for your (not unique) situation. Is it because you are determined to name every single living parent on the invite? There's no need to do that. You 'recognize' important people at the wedding by giving them flowers; boutonnieres for the men and wrist or pin-on corsages for the ladies. So simple. Every person contributing to the wedding absolutely does not need to be named on the invitation. Whomever is hosting does. Which, if the RSVPs are intended to come to you/FI would be the two of you.

ernursej

I would keep it simple and just put "together with their families". 

CMGragain

If you really want everyone to be named as hosts, it would be this:

Mr. John Bridesfather

Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather

Mr. Thomas Groomsfather

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name

Day, date

time o'clock

Venue

Address

City, State

EvilSockLady

CMGragain said:

If you really want everyone to be named as hosts, it would be this:

Mr. John Bridesfather

Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather

Mr. Thomas Groomsfather

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name

Day, date

time o'clock

Venue

Address

City, State

or "request the honor of your presence" if church wedding

but seriously, "together with their families" is ideal for your situation.
The names on the invite aren't an honor. They just indicate who is hosting. Keep it simple.

Knottie4483585

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

holyguacamole79

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Another vote for "together with their families."  Listing all parties as CMGRAGAIN showed above is really cluttered.  Also, your invitation isn't meant to "recognize" those who paid for your wedding; it's to indicate who is hosting. 

ETA : just curious, why do you say that a "formal" reception is to follow?  Is it actually formal or is it just an "official" reception? 

JediElizabeth

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*

redoryx

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Hosting doesn't have anything to do with who is paying for the wedding. 

Knottie4483585

JediElizabeth said:

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*

I didn't mean to offend you. In my family, and my FI's, the men just are not into this wedding planning stuff. They don't understand why these details matter so much, and why the smallest things count. I came here for advice and support, not a jab at my attempt at humor. 

levioosa

Knottie4483585 said:

JediElizabeth said:

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*

I didn't mean to offend you. In my family, and my FI's, the men just are not into this wedding planning stuff. They don't understand why these details matter so much, and why the smallest things count. I came here for advice and support, not a jab at my attempt at humor. 

Hate to burst your bubble, but sexism isn't humor.  

Ditto PP--hosting has nothing to do with who is paying.  

Jen4948

Given how many names there are, I think "together with their names" is the best wording for your situation - that doesn't sound at all "unique."

CMGragain

You can do it this way for a Catholic Mass.  Honestly it is only two extra lines, and that isn't as bad as the people who want to do the totally untraditional and unnecessary "son of" lines.


Mr. John Bridesfather

Mr. and Mrs. George Grooms Stepfather

Mr. Thomas Groomsfather

request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting

Bride's Full Name

and

Groom's Full Name
in
The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

Day, date

time o'clock

Saint Anybody's Catholic Church
Address

City, State

Now, please tell us that your reception will start soon after your ceremony.  No time gaps!

MandyMost

The reasons guests need to know who is hosting an event is that they need to know who to RSVP to, and perhaps who to address any other questions to. That is why they hosts are named on an invitation.

So who is collecting the RSVPs to your wedding? Who know's the details of the event and is planned to respond to any pre-wedding questions in case a guest has questions about accessibility, or food allergies, or directions, etc?

These are the person/people who should be named as the host. As others have said, it has nothing to do with where the money came from. 


That being said, if you do want to name everyone as above I don't think there's anything egregious about it. 

lizardbit27

I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

Jane Doe 
and 
John Smith
request the pleasure of your presence
.......

Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?

redoryx

lizardbit27 said:

I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

Jane Doe 
and 
John Smith
request the pleasure of your presence
.......

Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?

If you as the Bride and Groom are hosting and also the guests of honor, you don't word it to show that you are inviting anyone.

So I think (and @CMGragain, please correct me if I'm wrong!) But I think it would be

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Jane Doe 
and 
John Smith 

Jen4948

lizardbit27 said:

I'm just curious. Because my FI and I are the ones paying for, planning, and hosting our wedding, when it comes time for the invitations would the wording at the top just be like (non church wedding)

Jane Doe 
and 
John Smith
request the pleasure of your presence
.......

Or would we still need to have the 'together with their families' thing at the top?

Who's paying and planning isn't relevant to invitation wording. Who's hosting is.

I agree with @redoryx that you would use 

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Lizardbit27
hand
Lizardbit 27's FI

if your families aren't hosting.  Otherwise, I'd use the "together with their families" at the top.

CMGragain

For a Catholic Mass wedding:

The honour of your presence is requested

at the Nuptial Mass uniting

Jane Ann Doe

and

John George Smith

in The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

(etc.)

drunkenwitch

JediElizabeth said:

Knottie4483585 said:

It is a Catholic ceremony at a church, with a formal reception to follow. Because everything is being split cost-wise, it's hard to determine who is hosting, which is why we wanted everyone evenly recognized. And yes, I know there are these issues, so maybe not unique, but when I think of our families, I shake my head and laugh, because we've just got them all!  

My FI (*rolls eyes* men) thinks "together with our families" is tacky. I don't love it, but I think it's okay. I will happy show him all of your responses proving that it isn't tacky. 

Yes, because all men are so clueless. *rolls eyes*

Well that gosh darn penis just gets in the way of everything, doesn't it? Housework, child care, manners, men, am I right? Just like thinking will damage a woman's ovaries.

Heffalump

CMGragain said:

Now, please tell us that your reception will start soon after your ceremony.  No time gaps!

::buckles seatbelt::

::prepares for "I asked about X, not Y!!!" tantrum::

::hopes I'm wrong::

::refills coffee, just in case::