Bridal Party gift question

gaiadaughter · March 2016

Hi There,

I have a question regarding a possible gift for my MOH and a bridesmaid (my sister and cousin respectfully). I know the consensus on getting jewelry is pretty much a no but I was wondering what the thoughts were on this idea?

My Grandmother passed away 2 years ago. About a month ago it was decided by my mom and uncles that I would inherit the necklace that she always wore, it was what my grandfather gave her on their first wedding anniversary. I'll be wearing this as my something old. However, I know that this necklace is something that holds special meaning to both my sister and my cousin.

What I would like to do is take the necklace to a jeweler and ask them to make 2 duplicates of the necklace to give to my sister and cousin. This obviously wouldn't be their only gift and they would NOT be required to wear it day of, but could if they wanted to, of course. They are also each getting a couple things that are more specific to their personality. I am not giving jewelry to my other 2 bridesmaids.

I know that the necklace would be something they would value, we talked about getting duplicates made about a year ago, but didn't know where the necklace was (my grandmothers death was really unexpected and nobody was ready to process so we packed up her possessions into boxes until the family was ready). I just don't know if this would be an appropriate time to give this gift. Do you think it is an okay gift to give as part of a BP gift or should I just skip it?

floridabride44 · March 2016

gaiadaughter said:

Hi There,

I have a question regarding a possible gift for my MOH and a bridesmaid (my sister and cousin respectfully). I know the consensus on getting jewelry is pretty much a no but I was wondering what the thoughts were on this idea?

My Grandmother passed away 2 years ago. About a month ago it was decided by my mom and uncles that I would inherit the necklace that she always wore, it was what my grandfather gave her on their first wedding anniversary. I'll be wearing this as my something old. However, I know that this necklace is something that holds special meaning to both my sister and my cousin.

What I would like to do is take the necklace to a jeweler and ask them to make 2 duplicates of the necklace to give to my sister and cousin. This obviously wouldn't be their only gift and they would NOT be required to wear it day of, but could if they wanted to, of course. They are also each getting a couple things that are more specific to their personality. I am not giving jewelry to my other 2 bridesmaids.

I know that the necklace would be something they would value, we talked about getting duplicates made about a year ago, but didn't know where the necklace was (my grandmothers death was really unexpected and nobody was ready to process so we packed up her possessions into boxes until the family was ready). I just don't know if this would be an appropriate time to give this gift. Do you think it is an okay gift to give as part of a BP gift or should I just skip it?

This sounds like a really special, thoughtful gift and as long as you don't expect them to wear it for the wedding, I don't see any problem with it.

Usually jewelry as BP gifts is frowned upon here because it's typically cheap generic jewelry that isn't the BM's style and is only a part of the "uniform" to suit the bride's vision. Plus, brides dictating jewelry for BMs to wear is overly controlling.

So in your situation, as long as you're not expecting them to wear the necklaces at the wedding it sounds like a wonderful gift!

SP29 · March 2016

I think this is a very sweet idea!

It's not that jewelry is a bad gift (I love jewelry!)- the problem comes when the bride buys every woman in her party the same piece(s) of jewelry and expects it to be worn the day of (it's not a gift if it's something required for your wedding).

In this case, you are getting them necklaces because it is a remembrance of your grandmother, which is something thoughtful and personal to them both. And you know they are both interested in the necklace as well.

I got my MOH and BM jewelry, but it was two different pieces bought from different places at different price points, and I did not ask them to wear it the day of.

ernursej · March 2016

I think your situation sounds very different from the bride who gives jewelry as a gift expecting it to be worn at the wedding.

This sounds like a lovely and touching gesture that would mean your family history is part of the fun surrounding your wedding day.

gaiadaughter · March 2016

Awesome! Thanks guys! I know this will mean a lot to them. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't accidentally committing a faux pas. I'm not asking them to wear the jewelry or really anything matching besides color. I told them "purple and not satin" and that's pretty much all the "uniformity" I'm asking for.

Again thanks for the input!

Bridal Party gift question

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