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glasgowtolondon · March 2016

It isn't an extra. They are guests at your wedding and you are hosting them. You are asking them to fill time for 4hrs and 15mins for no apparent reason. Fuck me that is a huuuge gap. And you think you're a hero for providing soft drinks, sandwiches, and lawn games.

Why do you want to have this gap? It clearly isn't necessary if you are getting married at your parents house.

levioosa · March 2016

Knottie1443821225 said:

We are getting married end of June (weekend before Canada Day). We are having an outdoor reception with a large white tent at my parents 5acre property.There will be 200 guest invited with 25 of them being children under 12. We would like the ceremony to be at noon and the reception to begin at 5 o'clock. That is a fairly large gap but.... ALL guest are invited to the property anytime after the ceremony (which should end just after 1 o'clock) to enjoy refreshments (non alcoholic), finger sandwiches, watermelon, fruits and veggies. There is also an above ground pool (large one), lawn games, sand box, swing set and a bouncy castle for the kids. My brothers and their wives will be there to host with the wedding planner. If we have already thought of arranging for all that fun for before the reception, is the 4 hour gap acceptable? I know a lot of guests dislike the gap, but only because it stumps them of what to do while the bridal party "is off having fun".
We will make our Grand Entrance at 5:15pm and from then have the receiving line, mc intro and begin the dinner for 6pm. I also like to think that we are being hospitable by providing all these extras especially food and refreshments twice.
Thanks

No. It is not acceptable, and I get the feeling that you're very much trying to justify what you already know is rude. Why in the world do you need four hours between the ceremony and reception? This isn't hospitable because you are essentially trying to monopolize an entire day of your guests' time. The average reception is 4-6 hours, and at the end of that, guests are exhausted and want to leave. Your party will be over before it begins. Your family should also have nothing to do with hosting. That's your job. They didn't sign up for this--you and your FI are the ones who decided to get married and host a party.

The reception is a thank you to your guests for attending the ceremony. It is a pretty bad thank you to ask them to wait around in the heat in June while you take pictures for four hours. Your wording is also confusing. Everyone invited to the reception is also invited to the ceremony, yes? The ceremony is, after all, the point of the day.

[Deleted User] · March 2016

Fine, if I attend your ceremony, then gap, then I'm ready to leave 15 minutes after you arrive at your own wedding. No, really, go ahead and do that. I guess that you'll have 10 people left to greet you as you arrive at your reception. And no way in hell I'm getting into a pool three hours before I'm supposed to attend a wedding reception. What the hell kind of party you throwing here? How about you have a wedding ceremony, you have a reception, THEN you allow people to stick around and enjoy the pool if they want.

kylexo · March 2016

What are you off doing for 4 hours while your guests are bored/getting tired waiting for the reception to start? Just move the ceremony to 4pm and there are no issues.

levioosa · March 2016

Ah, I knew OP was going to be sensible and classy about this.

kylexo · March 2016

dang, i was really curious what they'd be doing for 4 hours that was SO IMPORTANT.

madamerwin · March 2016

OP, you were quoted, so deleting your post doesn't do you any good. All it does is draw attention to it.

Also, WHY would you delete this so fast? No one was ride to you, so I am guessing you just didn't like the answers you received.

I wish you would come back and tell us WHY you need to have a four-hour gap...

levioosa said:
No. It is not acceptable, and I get the feeling that you're very much trying to justify what you already know is rude. Why in the world do you need four hours between the ceremony and reception? This isn't hospitable because you are essentially trying to monopolize an entire day of your guests' time. The average reception is 4-6 hours, and at the end of that, guests are exhausted and want to leave. Your party will be over before it begins. Your family should also have nothing to do with hosting. That's your job. They didn't sign up for this--you and your FI are the ones who decided to get married and host a party.

Also, even if it were okay etiquette-wise to have a gap (it's not), the bolded is a true statement... If I were a guest, and if I spent 4.5 hours in the summer sun doing activities, I would be exhausted by the time your official reception started. I would probably leave right when dinner is over, as I bet your guests will if you have a huge gap.

kylexo said:

dang, i was really curious what they'd be doing for 4 hours that was SO IMPORTANT.

Just a guess, but I am going with this being a Catholic ceremony, since a lot of Catholic churches will only do ceremonies in early afternoon because of afternoon mass... A sadly common excuse for a gap.

adk19 said:

Fine, if I attend your ceremony, then gap, then I'm ready to leave 15 minutes after you arrive at your own wedding. No, really, go ahead and do that. I guess that you'll have 10 people left to greet you as you arrive at your reception. And no way in hell I'm getting into a pool three hours before I'm supposed to attend a wedding reception. What the hell kind of party you throwing here? How about you have a wedding ceremony, you have a reception, THEN you allow people to stick around and enjoy the pool if they want.

I agree with all of this... If you MUST have a carnival with the bouncy house and pool and everything, then have your official reception from 1-5pm, and have all of these activities after. I would be much more likely to stay for the entire day/evening if there was an after-party of sorts, with the pool and games and whatnot. But no thanks to jumping in a pool before the reception.

ETA more of my opinions

CMGragain · March 2016

Oh,dear. Is just ONE WHOLE DAY enough time for people to celebrate YOU?

glasgowtolondon · March 2016

banana468 · March 2016

As a parent there is no way I'm making it 4 hours on finger sandwiches and long games and THEN through another party. That's a great way for allunch the parents of young kids to get out fast.

I don't want to split my holidays and attend two Thanksgivings or two Christmas dinners and I certainly don't want to do that for a wedding.

Dare I ask what the plan is if it rains?

holyguacamole79 · March 2016

kylexo said:

What are you off doing for 4 hours while your guests are bored/getting tired waiting for the reception to start? Just move the ceremony to 4pm and there are no issues.

tigerlily6 · March 2016

Hmmmm, another OP overcome with ragret? @Sherbie25 @glasgowtolondon ?

missfrodo · March 2016

Came for the bat signal...I, too, am curious about her backup plan for rain. If it includes providing "free ponchos to guests," I'll snort tea out my nose.

lnixon8 · March 2016

Well ladies, at least with the above ground pool added to the mix we finally have an idea of why anyone would need to go to their hotel room to "freshen up" before a reception.

climbingsingle · March 2016

Holy shit. Waiting around for FOUR hours for the reception to start!?!

banana468 · March 2016

climbingwife said:

Holy shit. Waiting around for FOUR hours for the reception to start!?!

I've dealt with a gap like that once and it wasn't pleasant but at least it was inside.

thefanciestbeckler · March 2016

I was going to make a ragret gif using a clip of the kid from The Shining, but I'm just not tech savvy enough, apparently.

Sherbie25 · March 2016

tigerlily6 said:

Hmmmm, another OP overcome with ragret? @Sherbie25 @glasgowtolondon ?

Well done! @tigerlily6

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